If you believed in a goddess, what would she be like?

[sackett]

Practically everybody here comes from an Abrahamic society, i.e., we all think like Jews, Christians, or Moslems. We focus on a male deity, specifically one descended from a Bronze Age Semitic sky-god. You may believe in the guy or disbelieve in him, but you sure as hell think of him as a god, not a goddess.

I think that's a lopsided religious universe. We make deities to meet our needs, and our needs certainly include the feminine, the female, the goddess if you will. Look how many Catholics worship Mary almost to the point of disregarding God and Jesus. Look how many Hindus gladly believe in and worship Kali and Durga, and probably a raft of others I don't know about.

So: If you believed in a goddess, say just one (it makes Abrahamic folks uncomfortable to imagine multiple deities), what would she be like?

[Loss Leader]

Natalie Portman.

[andyandy]

Angelina Jolie

....she would appear to her believers in their dreams :)

[ImaginalDisc]

Madeline Peyroux.

[RecoveringYuppy]

How did this thread go 18 minutes without someone saying "a Geeky Texan"?

[TX50]

I've always been partial to Athena/Minerva: Her sphere of patronage; war
strategy, wisdom and handicrafts is an interesting combo (and I like owls
too!). And who doesn't love a heavily-armed chick in a "toga"*?

*Well, OK, more likely a Greek "himation" but most folks can relate to "toga"
more readily.

[hammegk]

The Graviton. :)

[Dancing David]

Freja/Freya

nothing like a diety called 'sl*t of the gods' who fights and gets to share half the dead with Odin.

She is a Vanir.

[sackett]

I know exactly what my goddess looks like. She’s a large black woman with an enormous ‘fro like a cloud of black cotton. She’s built just right, soft but springy. She lies naked at her ease inside a dark grotto, on a bed of ever-sweet flowers and herbs. When I’m feeling down, I crawl in there, and she greets me in a large contralto voice, like this:

“Hello, handsome, and where you been so long? Just shuck off all those clothes, ‘cause I like my babies naked. Now lie down, right up here. Yes, lie down all the way. You like that, don’t you? I like it too. Mhm. Mhm. You can stay right here just as long as you want, and come back just as often you please.

“And honey, when it comes your time to die, don’t worry about a thing. You’ll come here to me and lie down to sleep where it’s warm, yes, right where I want you to be.”

When I leave, she gives me a big slice of sweet potato pie to take away. That’s my goddess. Too bad about yours.

[bobcarp]

a bustier Kim Kardashian...

[Tanstaafl]

She would be a Geek...

[Tanstaafl]

How did this thread go 18 minutes without someone saying "a Geeky Texan"?


Darn, I thought I was the first, but I didn't read this carefully enough.

[RenaissanceBiker]

I'm pretty sure you already know, but in case you don't ...
http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting/1116844e60fc01caf2.jpg
Yes, she's ready to smite you.

[tsg]

What makes you assume the god I don't believe in is male?

[sackett]

What makes you assume the god I don't believe in is male?

You only disbelieve in ONE god? Oh you poor deprived thing.

[Cainkane1]

Practically everybody here comes from an Abrahamic society, i.e., we all think like Jews, Christians, or Moslems. We focus on a male deity, specifically one descended from a Bronze Age Semitic sky-god. You may believe in the guy or disbelieve in him, but you sure as hell think of him as a god, not a goddess.

I think that's a lopsided religious universe. We make deities to meet our needs, and our needs certainly include the feminine, the female, the goddess if you will. Look how many Catholics worship Mary almost to the point of disregarding God and Jesus. Look how many Hindus gladly believe in and worship Kali and Durga, and probably a raft of others I don't know about.

So: If you believed in a goddess, say just one (it makes Abrahamic folks uncomfortable to imagine multiple deities), what would she be like?


I forget her name but jewish women had a cult centered around Gods wife. Rabbis put a halt to it though.

[Zarathustra]

Very generally speaking, both monotheistic deities and strictly male dominated pantheons are a (relatively) new phenomenon in human history, with animal and nature worship followed by female-themed fertility goddesses during the birth of agricultural stages being mainly prevalent.

[Fnord]

If you believed in a goddess, what would she be like?


MOM!

By the time the Lord made mothers, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"

And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands."

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Oh, it's not the hands that are the problem. It's the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have!"

"And that's just on the standard model?" the Angel asked.

The Lord nodded in agreement, "Yep, one pair of eyes are to see through the closed door as she asks her children what they are doing even though she already knows. Another pair in the back of her head, are to see what she needs to know even though no one thinks she can. And the third pair are here in the front of her head. They are for looking at an errant child and saying that she understands and loves him or her without even saying a single word."

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish."

"But I can't!" The Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing this creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she's sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower."

The Angel moved closer and touched the woman, "But you have made her so soft, Lord."

"She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish."

"Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel.

The Lord replied, "Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate."

The Angel then noticed something and reached out and touched the woman's cheek. "Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one."

"That's not a leak." The Lord objected. "That's a tear."

"What's the tear for?" the Angel asked.

The Lord said, "The tear is her way of expressing her joy, her sorrow, her disappointment, her pain, her loneliness, her grief, and her pride."

The Angel was impressed. "You are a genius, Lord. You thought of everything; for mothers are truly amazing!"

The Lord looked somber ... "I didn't put it there."


~by Erma Bombeck~

[El Greco]

I'd tell you, but I don't have the right to take her name in vain.

[ImaginalDisc]

If you believed in a goddess, what would she be like?


MOM!
[LEFT]
By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime.

An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?"



The glurge, it burns!

[Silentknight]

SHODAN :D
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SHODAN
Yeah, she'd probably try to kill off most of humanity, and turn everyone else into her cyborg slaves, but who's to say we wouldn't be worse off than under the God most people worship nowadays?

Or if that's not possible, Athe comes in a close second.
http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Athe

[Piscivore]

Eris. Who in my mind looks like bit like Lili Taylor.

ETA: Whom I would accept a mere smile from instead of an entire harem of Kim Kardashians

[dann]

I know exactly what my goddess looks like. She’s a large black woman with an enormous ‘fro like a cloud of black cotton. She’s built just right, soft but springy. She lies naked at her ease inside a dark grotto, on a bed of ever-sweet flowers and herbs. I'm not sure, but she just might be Oshún/Ochún, the Afro-Cuban orisha, goddess of love, parallel to the Norse Freja/Freya:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnXpTi0PqM8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAZAa2RUE0o&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s68bSI6cVO0&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-JlyFtrq2M
http://ochun25.tripod.com/ochun.htm

[Tressa]

I forget her name but jewish women had a cult centered around Gods wife. Rabbis put a halt to it though.
Shekinah/Shekhina (if memory serves).
Leonard Nimoy (Spock) did a black and white photography series called The Shekhina Project:
http://www.leonardnimoyphotography.com/2photo.htm

[EdipisReks]

large busted and promiscuous, with a soft spot for her poor, pathetic mortal followers.

[kmortis]

Very generally speaking, both monotheistic deities and strictly male dominated pantheons are a (relatively) new phenomenon in human history, with animal and nature worship followed by female-themed fertility goddesses during the birth of agricultural stages being mainly prevalent.
Are you thinking of Sophia?
Eris. Who in my mind looks like bit like Lili Taylor.

ETA: Whom I would accept a mere smile from instead of an entire harem of Kim Kardashians
HAIL ERIS! Hell YES!

I've aways pictured the Divine Lady as a maniacal Elizabeth Shue, but a brunette. I would be willing, however, to accept your vision if you'd eat this hot dog this Friday.

[kmortis]

I'm not sure, but she just might be Oshún/Ochún, the Afro-Cuban orisha, goddess of love, parallel to the Norse Freja/Freya:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnXpTi0PqM8&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qAZAa2RUE0o&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s68bSI6cVO0&NR=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b-JlyFtrq2M
http://ochun25.tripod.com/ochun.htm

What about Yemaya?

[Zarathustra]

Are you thinking of Sophia?


Somewhat, but not entirely.
My comment was an attempt to point out that matriarchal goddess were more prevalent in pre-Christian agricultural societies. I suspect that given the sum total of human myths that have existed, if we exclude animal deification, the worship of gods in female form would significantly outnumber that of males.

An interesting recent example might be the Christian Madonna with child icon, which many historians believe, (much as the Christian myths originating with ancient Babylonian and Sumerian myth) may have had it's origin in the Egyptian goddess of Isis.

[arthwollipot]

My goddess would be...

not safe for work.

[YouBelieveWHAT?]

My goddess would be...

not safe for work.

Hmm.

I like your goddess - can she be mine too?

Thank you in anticipation :)

[arthwollipot]

Hmm.

I like your goddess - can she be mine too?

Thank you in anticipation :)I have no problem with that. Why hoard? Divine love is not a zero-sum game.

[The_Fire]

I'm partial to The Morrigan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morrigan) who has her own special place on the altar of my heart.
After all, who else can send nightmares, turn fog and rain into blood AND send ghosts after your enemies?

Off cause I DO have to keep her on the oppersite end of the altar from Danu, but otherwise.......

[Furi]

I could quite happily worship, Mila Jovovich, Kylie, Jessica Alba, or any other Sexual Pixie Temptress, (My Ex wife while fulfilling the previous requirement can be the Anti Goddess)

But Freya is an excellent suggestion!!! one of my favorite Goddesses, Along with Aphrodite, but am also quite fond of Artemis (she's such a tease :p unless you happen to be her brother)

[kmortis]

I'm partial to The Morrigan (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Morrigan) who has her own special place on the altar of my heart.
After all, who else can send nightmares, turn fog and rain into blood AND send ghosts after your enemies?

Off cause I DO have to keep her on the oppersite end of the altar from Danu, but otherwise.......

Ooo..another good one. I'd forgotten about them. I like ravens.....

[Paul C. Anagnostopoulos]

Jennifer Connelly, pre-thin.

~~ Paul

[kmortis]

Jennifer Connelly, pre-thin.

~~ Paul

Like "Dark City" era?

[sackett]

Interesting and lively responses to this little thread. I note that chthonic goddesses don’t predominate at all, rather the terrible and sexy deities are popular – certainly with men.

With a little effort, I can imagine a daytime goddess, a Bellona, goddess of war. Picture Penelope Cruz playing Xena:

She sweats joyfully in the fury of war. The flashing of swords is her sunlight, and she cares nothing for those lesser goddesses with their wheat and owls and olives and weaving, their mundane women’s truck!

She appears to me in the aftermath of battle, amid the reek and the circling crows. “You there, with your eyes cast down! Are you a warrior? Then approach and meet my gaze!” I do as she commands me; and terrible and comely is she.

Her huge eyes flash. “I thirst. Do you bring me blood?”

“Yes, goddess,” I reply, proffering a red-brimming goblet. She seizes it avidly and drinks it down, daintily enough, although she spills a few drops into her cleavage. She flings the empty vessel aside.

“It is not enough, but it is well. Was it your foemen’s blood?”

“Yes, goddess, and they were many.”

“Good, good. And,” eyeing my seeping bandages, “was some of it your own?”

“It was, goddess; but now it is thine.”

She smiles cruelly; she smiles no other way. “Come to me in my tent, then. It is pitched atop yonder mountain of dead. There I will” she moistens her luscious lips with her tongue, “cleanse your wounds. There will be much pain. Do you fear it?”

“I fear no pain, goddess. Only you do I fear. And adore.”

“Stout fellow! Well said! Your pain will be as nothing amidst the joy we both shall know.

“Now prepare! Do not wash your spear! Do not wash your sword! Your tally of slain have washed them very pleasingly! You shall please me further, by and bye!”

And she whirls away, all swirling dark hair, flawless skin, and a VERY light harness of battle-gear.

[Dancing David]

I like other goddesses as well, Demeter, Hecate, Kali, Innanna, the witch's goddess Aradia and of course Elizabeth Saxe-Coburg Windsor.

[Furi]

Yeah thanks Demeter, why don't you come up to the surface again, it was bloody cold the other day.

perhaps that should be addressed to Core,

Liz - the goddess of dysfunctional families, and protector of Corgis Swans and Hat designers

[dann]

What about Yemaya?
Too motherly to quite fit Sackett's description, I think.
When she is not on the warpath, Oya is quite hot too!

[Piscivore]

Bastet and Baba Yaga are right up there too.

[kmortis]

Too motherly to quite fit Sackett's description, I think.
When she is not on the warpath, Oya is quite hot too!

Oh hell, I'll take any of the Orisha. Gimme any religion that includes rum and cigars.

[Piscivore]

I've aways pictured the Divine Lady as a maniacal Elizabeth Shue,

Even without the blonde hair, she's just to WASPish too pull it off, IMO.

[sinclairmcevoy]

http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting/thum_805047682b08c86ea.jpg (http://forums.randi.org/vbimghost.php?do=displayimg&imgid=9796)She's already my saviour.

[Nogbad]

large busted and promiscuous, with a soft spot for her poor, pathetic mortal followers.

I'm with you - I think this could really catch on

I'm rather fond of Sophie Marceau but I could cope with a Barbarella Jane Fonda

[Jimbo07]

Eris.

ETA: Whom I would accept a mere smile from instead of an entire harem of Kim Kardashians

She smiles on you all the time... too bad, it's sometimes from laughing at you.

HAIL ERIS!

[Piscivore]

She smiles on you all the time... too bad, it's sometimes from laughing at you.

I'm actually okay with that. :)

HAIL ERIS!
All Hail Discordia!

[kmortis]

Even without the blonde hair, she's just to WASPish too pull it off, IMO.

Wait, you think Eris is limited by ethnicity? Are we talking about the same Eris?

[V23]

I have to go with Eris too . . .

She's the only one that makes any sense to me . . .

[ninjamessiah]

She would be all powerful and my mom.

I mean c'mon, the all powerful who actually and actively loves you, unlike the mysterious angry guy in that ancient book? No contest.

[slingblade]

If I believed in a goddess, she would be whatever she is, since I wouldn't believe in a goddess unless I knew she was as real as I am.

[bruto]

More than one goddess in the house is probably excessive, but (purely theoretically, mind you), my spare goddess would be sort of like Salma Hayek.

[Dancing David]

She smiles on you all the time... too bad, it's sometimes from laughing at you.

HAIL ERIS!


All Hail Discordia!

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law, will under probate.

[Darth Rotor]

Either Sophia Lauren at age 27

or

Jennifer Love Hewitt, but with golden red hair. (Is that still called strawberry blond? It's the light red head, almost golden/coppery, rather than the deep red. Ages ago, a girlfriend of mine had the perfect color red hair, the shade I am trying to describe.)

DR

[Paul C. Anagnostopoulos]

Like "Dark City" era?
And the "Mulholland Falls" and "Rocketeer" eras. I think the 2008 era might be marvelous, too.

~~ Paul

[Piscivore]

Wait, you think Eris is limited by ethnicity? Are we talking about the same Eris?

Well, she did come from the Greek Pantheon.

If I believed in a goddess, she would be whatever she is, since I wouldn't believe in a goddess unless I knew she was as real as I am.

Sling, you do not need to look any further than a mirror.

She would be all powerful and my mom.

I mean c'mon, the all powerful who actually and actively loves you,

I was going to say your mom too, for the same reasons. Giggedy.


:p

[Autolite]

So: If you believed in a goddess, say just one, what would she be like?




Guess...

[kmortis]

Well, she did come from the Greek Pantheon.

HERETIC! I GOT A HERETIC HERE!

BURN HIM!!!!

[Furi]

HERETIC! I GOT A HERETIC HERE!

BURN HIM!!!!

OK now I am confuzzled, I thought Eris was Ares sister, and a daughter of Hera and Zeus. Meaning strife and which when translated/absorbed into latin became discordia, or am I too tired and missing something.

ETA: JFGI Are you talking about the star trek character? I am too tired

[kmortis]

OK now I am confuzzled, I thought Eris was Ares sister, and a daughter of Hera and Zeus. Meaning strife and which when translated/absorbed into latin became discordia, or am I too tired and missing something.

I'm not 100% certain that she was Ares' sister, although she did hang out with him all the DAMN TIME! (bitch! never had time to hang with me...oh NOOOOO! She's "too busy". out havin' fun while I get stuck with Strife whine about how hard it is these days to be a demiurge.)

Um...what were we talking about?

[Z]

I have two female deities I tend to consider: Isis, in a mother-goddess role; and Kuan Yin, the compassionate one, who turned her back on Heaven/enlightenment until every human on Earth could gain entrance to Heaven.

Can't beat a Goddess willing to give up heaven for mankind!

[Furi]

ok just been doing sleepy eyed reading, seems there are multiple accounts for Eris, Heisod has her down as a daughter of nyx, and Homer has her down as a Ares sister.

Given her traits, Daughter of Cronus and Nyx would fit with far fewer seams, So I suppose that would be correct that she is not a daughter of the pantheon. I probably just recalled her as being clingy to Ares and remembered a Homeric version (D'oh)

[kmortis]

I have two female deities I tend to consider: Isis, in a mother-goddess role; and Kuan Yin, the compassionate one, who turned her back on Heaven/enlightenment until every human on Earth could gain entrance to Heaven.

Can't beat a Goddess willing to give up heaven for mankind!

Wait. She gave up heaven for us? She's not compassionate, she mad.

You sure she's not Kali in disguise? Count her arms, I bet there's eight of them.

[kmortis]

ok just been doing sleepy eyed reading, seems there are multiple accounts for Eris, Heisod has her down as a daughter of nyx, and Homer has her down as a Ares sister.

Given her traits, Daughter of Cronus and Nyx would fit with far fewer seams, So I suppose that would be correct that she is not a daughter of the pantheon. I probably just recalled her as being clingy to Ares and remembered a Homeric version (D'oh)

Very little was written about Eris, which is what made he a perfect foil for Hill and Thornley. Really, other than her involvement in the beginnings of the Trojan War, not much was written about her. She gets a few mentions here and there, but the Greeks didn't want to talk about her much. I guess they were afraid that if they mentioned her, she'd take notice of them. Let's face it, a goddess of chaos, strife, discord and mayhem isn't exactly going to set well with your normal civilized Ancient Greek.

[arthwollipot]

Well, there was the bit with the apple...

[kmortis]

Well, there was the bit with the apple...

You mean the bit where she threw the Golden Apple of Discord into the wedding feast causing three other goddesses to fight over who it was for causing Zeus to step in to mediate causing Paris, Prince of Greece, to be called in to adjudicate which goddess was the prettiest causing him to receive Helen (nee of Troy) as a prize from Aphrodite there by causing the Trojan War? You mean that bit?

[arthwollipot]

Yeah.

[kmortis]

Oh, it's in there somewhere.

[Piscivore]

HERETIC! I GOT A HERETIC HERE!

BURN HIM!!!!


What a silly person. Don't you know I am a pope of Discordia?

[Belz...]

Practically everybody here comes from an Abrahamic society, i.e., we all think like Jews, Christians, or Moslems. We focus on a male deity, specifically one descended from a Bronze Age Semitic sky-god. You may believe in the guy or disbelieve in him, but you sure as hell think of him as a god, not a goddess.

I think that's a lopsided religious universe. We make deities to meet our needs, and our needs certainly include the feminine, the female, the goddess if you will. Look how many Catholics worship Mary almost to the point of disregarding God and Jesus. Look how many Hindus gladly believe in and worship Kali and Durga, and probably a raft of others I don't know about.

So: If you believed in a goddess, say just one (it makes Abrahamic folks uncomfortable to imagine multiple deities), what would she be like?

Jessica Alba, but then she could take any form she wishes to ! :D