[Merged]Dear Abby and the Tarot Cards

[LostAngeles]

I'm an advice column junkie, I confess. Thursday's Dear Abby started off with this letter:

Link to the column on Yahoo: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ucda/20071220/lf_ucda/womanfretsthatherfutureinlovemaybeallinthecards;_y lt=AmnYRFNwB6k536lEbtXqQHfNbbUC

DEAR ABBY: I have found the man I will be with for the rest of my life. I knew from the moment I met him that he was The One. We are very happy and very much in love.

Ever since I was about 9, my mother and I have had our palms read, our tarot cards done, charted our birth signs, etc. It's a little superstitious, but hey -- we have fun with it. We still do it to this day.

When I was 17, our palm reader proceeded to tell me about my life and explained that I will have two husbands, and my first husband will die. Abby, I can't stop thinking about this, and when I do I can't hold back the tears. I can't tell my boyfriend because, as anyone would, he'll think I am being silly.

I wouldn't take this so seriously if the palm reader hadn't been so accurate regarding past experiences in my life. I need some sort of relief from my fear because I'm afraid that when we're married I'll always be waiting for the day my husband doesn't come home. Please help me. -- MISERABLE IN MILWAUKEE

DEAR MISERABLE: I live in a community where psychics and palm readers are as omnipresent as head lice. While some of them can be remarkably accurate in their predictions, others are charlatans. What your letter illustrates is that while palm reading, tarot, etc. can make for lively entertainment, superstition can be a powerful and destructive force.

May I point out that statistically most women outlive men. Viewed in that light, what your psychic told you wasn't necessarily bad news. It could be interpreted to mean that you will have a long and happy union with the man you love. And when he predeceases you -- as most men do -- you will once again find love. And, honey, from my perspective, that's GOOD news.

UGH.

I figure I should write her. Any suggestions on how to phrase a response?

[HENTAI DOUKYUSEI JP]

you could ask her first which ones does she believes to be "remarkably accurate" and then mention the JREF prize.

[danielk]

That response wasn't so bad actually, except for the implication in the "others are charlatans" bit.

[thatguywhojuggles]

I had my palm read when I was 17 years old and the palm reader said I would have 3 kids, and that one would die.

I'm 36, and haven't had kids yet. I'll keep you posted.

[UnrepentantSinner]

Abby and Ann used to run hot and cold as I recollect on spreading or counteracting urban legends back in the day. I agree with Daniel that the response wasn't bad and about as resonable as we could expect from Abby.

LA, if you want to write a comment, keep it short and try to focus on how this poor gal is obviously paralyzed by her superstitions and setting herself up further abuse by charlatans.

[m_huber]

As someone trying to give the girl the best advice with regard to her relationship, I can't really think of a more sensitive remark. We have all had experience where someone believes in some wooish thing, we point out the logical ineptness of it, and then they go right back to it and disregard what we have said. The answer was respectful of her beliefs, but also covered the logical reasons not to worry. I'm not sure that this can be viewed as a travesty. She did, after all, compare psychics to head lice.

Also, even saying, "some of them can be remarkably accurate" is not really a misstatement. They do occasionally hit something exactly right, just not by supernatural ability.

Overall, I would say it is extremely tactful and good advice.

[Rasmus]

I had my palm read when I was 17 years old and the palm reader said I would have 3 kids, and that one would die.

I'm 36, and haven't had kids yet. I'll keep you posted.

No need to, really. I am sure that two immortal children will make the news.

Regarding the OP, there is a simple solution. The woman just needs to marry someone other than Mr Right and wait for that poor soul to die, possibly helping along that process. Then afterwards she can marry her current boyfriend and live happily ever after with him - assuming the police never finds out about the helping along part.

[thatguywhojuggles]

No need to, really. I am sure that two immortal children will make the news.

Yeah. I thought similar when she told me. I thought... aren't they all going to die?

[Susan Gerbic]

I have been a long time reader of Dear Abby and am saddened to find that she might not be on my reading list for long. I have stopped watching most TV for the same reason, the frustration I feel when, people who should know better and have the power to influence others get it all wrong, and overly so.

Todays Dear Abby I will type here....

Dear Abby, I have found the man of my life. I knew from the moment I met him that he was The One. We are very happy and very much in love.

Ever since I was about 9, my mother and I have had our palms read, our tarot cards done, charted our birth signs, etc. It's a little superstitious, but hey - we have fun with it. We still do it to this day.

When I was 17, our palm reader proceeded to tell me about my life and explained that I will have two husbands, and my first husband will die. Abby, I can't stop thinking about this, and when I do I can't hold back the tears. I can't tell my boyfriend because, as anyone would he'll think I am being silly.

I wouldn't take this so seriously if the palm reader hadn't been so accurate regarding past experiences in my life. I need some sort of relief from my fear because I'm afraid that when we're married I'll always be waiting for the day my husband doesn't come home. Please help me -

Miserable in Milwaukee

Dear Miserable: I live in a community where psychics and palm readers are as omnipresent as head lice. While some of them can be remarkably accurate in their predictions, others are charlatans. What your letter illustrates is that while palm reading, tarot, etc can make for lively entertainment, superstition can be a powerful and destructive force.

May I point out that statistically most women outlive men. Viewed in that light, what your psychic told you wasn't necessarily bad news.''


So I composed a quick letter in my head while in the shower, and sent it off post-haste to Dear Abby.

Abby,your advise to "Miserable in Milwaukee" was off mark and harmful. There has never been any proof that psychics are anything other than scam artists. They don't give comfort only reinforce magical thinking which in the case of Milwaukee shows how harmful this can be. Resources abound the Internet with documented evidence on how psychics prey. The JREF organization with it's million dollar challenge is a great start. Psychics are never right, they just cold-read, cheat or just plain guess at probable future events. Her future husband should run fast, keeping in mind their potential children will be raised the same way.

Susan in Salinas

I'm sure it isn't the best well-though out letter I could have some up with, but I didn't want to stall and put off writing, (heck my hair is still wet)

This is my goal for 2008 (yeah I know this is still 2007). But I wish I could give credit to whomever suggested it, but I can't remember what pod-cast, TAM lecture, article or whatever that, we as a skeptic community that want to do something could write in support of good science, critical thinking articles that appear. And write in critique of bad science ect. Just to let them know we are watching and want good science.

So that is my goal, and here is my first article. I know Dear Abby won't publish my response (my tea leaves this morning tell me so) but at least someone will read my response. And I feel better now....

...maybe I should get dressed and dry my hair now....

Susan

[Morrigan]

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=101709 ;)

[Giggywig]

I had my palm read when I was 17 years old and the palm reader said I would have 3 kids, and that one would die.

I'm 36, and haven't had kids yet. I'll keep you posted.
Well, I had my palm read at 17 ans the palm reader told me to stop or I'd go blind.

[Tanstaafl]

Also, even saying, "some of them can be remarkably accurate" is not really a misstatement. They do occasionally hit something exactly right, just not by supernatural ability.


I would still disagree with this.

Some readings are remarkably accurate.

No tarot card readers are remarkably accurate, beyond the occasional lucky guess, or warm reading.

ETA: Actually, re-re-reading her response, it doesn't sound quite as much an endorsement of the "accurate" tarot readers as I originally thought, so, yeah, I guess this is close to the best we could hope for from Abby.

[Drudgewire]

I figure I should write her. Any suggestions on how to phrase a response?
Not sure who's playing Abby this week, but the first one was pretty religious. You could always drop a litle Deuteronomy 18:9 on her. :)

[aerosolben]

The answer was respectful of her beliefs, but also covered the logical reasons not to worry.
That's pretty key. If you come in railing against psychics, the woman will probably ignore your advice.

Solid response. Presents a viable alternative to the question that works in the woman's world view, while not explicitly endorsing said world view.

[LostAngeles]

That's pretty key. If you come in railing against psychics, the woman will probably ignore your advice.

Solid response. Presents a viable alternative to the question that works in the woman's world view, while not explicitly endorsing said world view.

That's probably a very good point. I guess I expected a mention of cold-reading at least.

I'm less annoyed now then I was when I read it. Thanks guys.

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

I had my palm read when I was 17 years old and the palm reader said I would have 3 kids, and that one would die.

I'm 36, and haven't had kids yet. I'll keep you posted.

When I was fifteen, I had my palm read and the palm reader told me I'd never marry, that I'd have children out of wedlock, never become rich but live comfortably enough and die at the age of 92. Also that I'd take a long and short trip and end up in a career that required me to wear a uniform and that the boy I'm in love with would ask me out.

So far, I've never been married or had any children. Ex-nay on all the other ones...but if I swear to God, if I die before I'm 92, I want my five dollars back! :D