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View Full Version : Steven Jones dust analysis proves box of cheerios destroyed WTC


RKOwens4
21st January 2008, 05:50 PM
According to Professor Jones's analysis of World Trade Center steel and dust samples, high traces of sulfur and iron were found. Also found were traces of zinc, manganese, and titanium. Finally the proof: Cheerios used to destroy the WTC!

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/1447/300pxwikicheeriosib2.jpg

That's right. Iron and zinc are both chemical fingerprints of Cheerios and Cheerios alone. Sulfur is used in its cardboard box. Manganese and titanium are also used in both the box's paint and in the plastic bag. Therefore, Cheerios were used to destroy the WTC.

Or maybe not. The point is, the elements Steven Jones believes are fingerprints of thermate are used in practically everything. Boxes of Cheerios are just as likely a culprit for their presence in the WTC dust as thermate. It's really sad that he can call these "uncommon chemical elements" and have his followers be so gullible as to believe it.

twinstead
21st January 2008, 05:52 PM
Low in fat, high in soluble fiber--I for one welcome our Cheerios overlords.

CptColumbo
21st January 2008, 05:53 PM
According to Professor Jones's analysis of World Trade Center steel and dust samples, high traces of sulfur and iron were found. Also found were traces of zinc, manganese, and titanium. Finally the proof: Cheerios used to destroy the WTC!

http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/1447/300pxwikicheeriosib2.th.jpg

That's right. Iron and zinc are both chemical fingerprints of Cheerios and Cheerios alone. Sulfur is used in its cardboard box. Manganese and titanium are also used in both the box's paint and in the plastic bag. Therefore, Cheerios were used to destroy the WTC.

Or maybe not. The point is, the elements Steven Jones believes are fingerprints of thermate are used in practically everything. Boxes of Cheerios are just as likely a culprit for their presence in the WTC dust as thermate. It's really sad that he can call these "uncommon chemical elements" and have his followers be so gullible as to believe it.I would pay good money to see a box of Cheerios bring down a skyscraper.

Of course, it's just as likely that the sun raining down "two scoops of raisins" is what caused the collapse of WTC 7. "Scoop it!"

jhunter1163
21st January 2008, 06:06 PM
MacGyver could have done it with a magnifying glass, a stick of Juicy Fruit, a three-foot piece of yarn, a golf ball, and a half-empty can of Silly String.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Macgyver

Quad4_72
21st January 2008, 06:06 PM
Interesting. Now did the Cheerios have any involvement in the pentagon as well?

CptColumbo
21st January 2008, 06:09 PM
Interesting. Now did the Cheerios have any involvement in the pentagon as well?

Where do you think General Mills worked before getting into cereal? That's where he first met Captain Crunch.

Apollo20
21st January 2008, 06:11 PM
When you start a thread like this,

well, it can only go

d
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twinstead
21st January 2008, 06:12 PM
When you start a thread like this,

well, it can only go

d
o
w
n
h
i
l
l

You can't fool me. You have a Cheerios joke just dying to get out, Frank, don't you?

Drudgewire
21st January 2008, 06:13 PM
I knew it!! I NEVER trusted this shady &@$%er!!!


http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/cheeriosbee1.jpg

http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/fist4su.gif

PhantomWolf
21st January 2008, 06:17 PM
When you start a thread like this,

well, it can only go

d
o
w
n
h
i
l
l

Oh I don't know, it pretty much started at the bottom already.

leftysergeant
21st January 2008, 06:20 PM
Great! Next we'll have Judy's boys in here screaming that it was actually Post Toasties!

Mr.Herbert
21st January 2008, 06:22 PM
Cheerios.... Aren't they actually Bagel seeds?

I knew it.... it was the JOOOOS!!

PhantomWolf
21st January 2008, 06:27 PM
It's really sad that he can call these "uncommon chemical elements" and have his followers be so gullible as to believe it.

Quite true.

In order of abundance in the Earth's crust:

iron - 4th
titanium - 9th
manganese - 12th
sulphur - 14th
zinc - 24nd

Other than zinc, they are all in the top 15 most common elements on the planet!

ElMondoHummus
21st January 2008, 06:48 PM
Such an obvious lead-in, and no one made a "cereal" killer joke yet?

I'm ashamed of you guys...

:D

OldTigerCub
21st January 2008, 06:48 PM
Lies! All lies! Everyone knows that only Rice Crispies go snap, crackle and pop!!! Witnesses heard snaps and crackles and pops!!!!:a2:

PhantomWolf
21st January 2008, 07:09 PM
I say we march on the Kelloggs Headquarters and DEMAND the TRUTH!!!

Unsecured Coins
21st January 2008, 07:15 PM
I have nothing to contribute because you all have beaten me to the funny

Alferd_Packer
21st January 2008, 07:33 PM
Wait a dogone minute.

Why is Gravy wearing a Cap'n Crunch hat?

MIKILLINI
21st January 2008, 07:37 PM
Low in fat, high in soluble fiber--I for one welcome our Cheerios overlords.

Good for cholesterol, bad for Jones' hypothesis.

MIKILLINI
21st January 2008, 07:39 PM
I knew it!! I NEVER trusted this shady &@$%er!!!


http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/cheeriosbee1.jpg

http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/fist4su.gif

You mean they found honey and nuts too??

ElMondoHummus
21st January 2008, 07:41 PM
You mean they found honey and nuts too??

Nutin'... honey...

dudalb
21st January 2008, 07:42 PM
Actually it was an invisible abestos coated Stay Puft Marshmellow Man who brought down the towers...

PhantomWolf
21st January 2008, 08:04 PM
You mean they found honey and nuts too??

I'd say that the Truth Movement has found enough nuts to keep the supply running for decades.

Alareth
21st January 2008, 08:35 PM
Couldn't the culprit have been a box of Total, or possibly even a bottle of Centrum?

CptColumbo
21st January 2008, 08:40 PM
This conspiracy is big.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not small.
No, no, no.

pomeroo
21st January 2008, 08:45 PM
Great! Next we'll have Judy's boys in here screaming that it was actually Post Toasties!


Now, that's funny! For that inspired line, I hereby grant you a plenary indulgence for all of your past political sins.

Myriad
21st January 2008, 08:47 PM
The cereal is only part of this complete conspiracy.

Which means OJ was in on it too.

Respectfully,
Myriad

Max Photon
21st January 2008, 09:01 PM
Those aren't Cherrios.

Those are Feedback Loops.

beachnut
21st January 2008, 09:30 PM
http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/1447/300pxwikicheeriosib2.jpg
Is a box of cheerios is 10 times smarter than 9/11 truth? yep

LashL
21st January 2008, 09:35 PM
The cereal is only part of this complete conspiracy.

Which means OJ was in on it too.

Respectfully,
Myriad


Good one! :D

Oh, and doesn't the complete conspiracy also require 4 (or 6?) ounces of milk per serving, as well?

Thus, the JMOOOOOS were also in on it.

RKOwens4
21st January 2008, 09:41 PM
This is a little late, but isn't it strange that Professor Jones titled his thermate paper "Finally the proof: Thermate used to destroy WTC"? Finally the proof: Steven Jones (and other "scholars" for 9/11 truth) start out with their own belief of what destroyed the WTC, and then go out looking for evidence trying to prove it. And then never find it.

"Don't look for it, Taylor. You may not like what you find." -Dr. Zaius, Planet of the Apes

Brainache
21st January 2008, 09:44 PM
Good one! :D

Oh, and doesn't the complete conspiracy also require 4 (or 6?) ounces of milk per serving, as well?

Thus, the JMOOOOOS were also in on it.

You're all nuts and milking this joke far too much.
Just a great big bowl of wrong.
We all know the thermate came in flakes

RKOwens4
21st January 2008, 09:48 PM
Wow, I think I might be onto something here. I must've missed this before, but Cheerios also contains 115mg of POTASSIUM!!! Potassium was found in abundance in the WTC dust. Jones claims that Potassium is a fingerprint of thermate, but nope. I say it's a fingerprint of Cheerios.

Alareth
21st January 2008, 09:55 PM
Don't forget the Pancakes.

Dog Town
21st January 2008, 10:04 PM
Reading this thread, from first post, all I am think'en is MOOOOOOS! Have the joke forming as I read through the thread. By post #25 the joke has been finished in me'ead! Then BAM I read post #30!

Damn You LASH!


ETA: Any cows killed in the towers on 911? Makes ya wonder....

cisco
21st January 2008, 10:05 PM
How does Jones respond when confronted with the mounds of facts that highlight how ridiculous his "theories" are?

How did he get his PhD in a scientific field without so much as a basic understand of ethics and the scienitifc method?

I really want to know the answers to these questions.

LashL
21st January 2008, 10:32 PM
Reading this thread, from first post, all I am think'en is MOOOOOOS! Have the joke forming as I read through the thread. By post #25 the joke has been finished in me'ead! Then BAM I read post #30!

Damn You LASH!


Hee hee. For once, I beat someone to a funny! (It's rare, so I'll relish it.) ETA: But note the opening there for a new food-related joke...


ETA: Any cows killed in the towers on 911?

No, but the twoof movement is certainly chock full of bovine excrement. (I know, I know, that goes without saying, but what the hell, might as well say it ;) )

PhantomWolf
21st January 2008, 10:45 PM
That box is just asking for a make over with "9/11 Fruit Loops" replacing the cheerios and a sticker with "Contains Nuts" added.

Hokulele
21st January 2008, 11:17 PM
And since Cheerios float in milk, they must be lighter than air, which also conveniently explains the so-called "pyroclastic flows".

1337m4n
22nd January 2008, 01:12 AM
How do you explain all the dust at Ground Zero?

No ordinary collapse would turn concrete and steel into fine dust. Cheerios are a different matter; you can turn them to dust with as little as your bare hands.

Myriad
22nd January 2008, 04:12 AM
Don't forget the Pancakes.


Don't try to put this one over on us. We all know NIST ruled out pancakes![/mandatoryPunchline]

However, we do have evidence that the conspiracy goes back at least to 1979:

http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting/130124795ced1140e5.jpg

Respectfully,
Myriad

ElMondoHummus
22nd January 2008, 09:04 AM
Jeez, this is the first time I've ever thought a thread needed to go to AAH without a truther present...

:D