Your Favorite TAM 5.5 Quotes

[Wowbagger]

Post, here, your favorite lines you've heard (or overheard) at any time during TAM 5.5!

I will contribute a few:

"By the power of Grayman's beard!"
- Cleon, when he discovered Grayman's long beard had remained dry, after taking a dip in the pool.

"Sweet Smurfy Jesus!"
- (I am not sure who said this one, but Cleon is the one who informed me about its utterance)

"Baby animals and dinosaurs"
- Michael Stackpole describing one of his tactics for debating creationists

"Don't tase me, bro!"
- Wowbagger, as he got kicked out by 'security' during Mark Roberts' presentation



I have some others, but let's see what everyone else has to contribute.

[Phil]

"Don't tase me, bro!" was pretty damn funny.

"When I was a kid, I convinced a fiend that I believed my stuffed animals could talk." --- Robert Lancaster, though the context is very important to the humor.

[Darat]

I've heard one that was attributed to Randi:

"Jeff who the-blue-blazes are all these weirdos in the office?!"

[LibraryLady]

Stop Phil Plait


By Robert Lancaster although he claimed it was a mistake.

[jmercer]

My favorite? "WE HAVE CORNDOGS!!!!" (At the forum party)

[SkepticScott]

"I'll tell maintenance about the problem as soon as they get out of their meeting."

Background:
I had no hot water in my room Thursday morning. I called the front desk and was told that they'd send maintenance soon. Later I walked down to the front desk to I ask if I could move to another room that had hot water. That clerk told me that she'd gotten eighteen other calls complaining about no hot water and she thought that no room in the hotel had hot water. She finished by saying
"I'll tell maintenance about the problem as soon as they get out of their meeting."


Phil wrote:
"convinced a fiend"
I'm fairly sure RSL convinced a friend. :dewink:

[Gravy]

"Turn off the wireless connection!"
–Jeff Wagg to me, as Phil Plait's private emails were sequentially projected on screen for the whole conference crowd to read while we were trying to resolve a computer issue.

"Don't worry: he's ALWAYS doing magic."
Comforting words to me when I lamented missing Randi performing some impromptu sleight-of-hand at Friday's reception.

"We should get Mitch to do the last one."
–Grayman's stroke of genius, suggesting that Wowbagger be my final heckler. Never has scenery been so thoroughly masticated.

"That way. There's Mars."
–Phil Plait, instantly answering A's question "Which way is south?" while apparently pointing to a random area in the sky, which is a bad way for drivers to navigate.

And of course Robert Lancaster's stuffed animal line, mentioned above. He"s mighty quick, for a big man.

I recall getting a big laugh out of "Hey, baby, come on over for a little stem cell research," but I can't for the life of me remember the setup. Most of the weekend is a blur. :boggled:

[Kochanski]

"By the power of Grayman's beard!"
- Cleon, when he discovered Grayman's long beard had remained dry, after taking a dip in the pool.



Only quote I have is Grayman saying "Am I the only sober person who jumped in the pool?"

I do think that "By the power of Grayman's beard" needs to be on a t-shirt. Although his hat also seems to have some super powers since it stayed on all the while he was in the water.

[Richard]

"Where's that Saunders guy?" said by me in Sydney............... :(

[rebecca]

My favorite line was delivered by my ultra-sassy waitress at Denny's Sunday morning. This woman was seriously amazing, with this dry delivery that just killed me in my drunken haze. After I gave her my order she said, "Okay, so that's one veggie omelet, hashbrowns, whole wheat toast . . . and one strawberry milkshake. Weirdo."

I think I gave her a 40% tip.

[brodski]

"OK Ottle, can you lean forward for this next photo" me, not realising what I was saying when trying to photograph the shoes and faces of Rebecca, A and Ottle.

"I was worried that you would have a stutter" Cleon, commenting on my communication in chat vs real life. I made sure my speach was slurred for most of the weekend to make upfor it.

"so, I was on the bus from the airport, and I looked out of the window and saw a petol station- and I realised that I was north of the Citgo. I couldnt see a plane..."
Chilzero.

and then there was the whole Pelican Paparazi thing....

[bigSam]

Robert Lancaster's "stuffed animal line" was the very essence of laser-sharp comic timing - absolutely hilarious and completely unexplainable to anyone who wasn't there.

[Andronicus]

"Have you read my X-wing novels?" -- Michael Stackpole.

"Randi said to me 'Sylvia Brown had a bad week because of you.' It was like Batman saying the Riddler had a bad week because of you." -- Robert Lancaster

"You left the party when. I'm so glad to hear that, I left at eleven and I'm glad someone left earlier than me." -- Library Lady. (Yes, I was handedly out partied by everyone.)

"If I saw that Lancaster guy walking down the street I would assume he's nearly homeless and doesn't know quite what is going on. But he gave an absolute amazing speech!"

"You folks are from that meeting next door aren't you. We had some people from over there here yesterday. There was a small guy with a white beard doing tricks. He was pretty good." - Semi-snarky waitress at Denny's Sunday morning. (Chillzero, Jmercer, and Library Lady will verify.)

"I just happen to have some spoons from a. . .(looks around) local hotel. . . I actually recommend the spoons from Denny's." -- James Randi.

[kittynh]

OH MY GOD!!! JESUS!!!

"I think if we keep going in this direction long enough, we'll reach Ft.Lauderdale...wait, I think our compass is wrong...we're just going to keep driving until we run out of gas...."

"GPS BEEEEEEETCH"

[Horatius]

"So I told her, you're stealing money from people! At least I work for my money!" -My taxi driver heading to the airport this morning.

He was telling me about a psychic he gave a ride to once, and how he reacted when she tried to read him - and got everything wrong. He had heard someone else talking about TAM, and was asking me about it. I told him it sounds like he'd have loved it!

[kittynh]

Prodigiously endowed with coconuts

.....and yes, they were.

[godlesky]

The "corndogs" was freakin halarious

[RSLancastr]

"If I saw that Lancaster guy walking down the street I would assume he's nearly homeless and doesn't know quite what is going on. But he gave an absolute amazing speech!"My mom was there?

[kookbreaker]

I don't remember it exactly:

"You are the creepiest McCreepster on his creepiest freaking day." - Rebecca

[The Central Scrutinizer]

I don't remember it exactly:

"You are the creepiest McCreepster on his creepiest freaking day." - Rebecca

I still need to get the exact quote from Rebecca. It's going in my sig!

[brodski]

I recall getting a big laugh out of "Hey, baby, come on over for a little stem cell research," but I can't for the life of me remember the setup. Most of the weekend is a blur. :boggled:

Michael Stackpol was talking about a barmaid who was "Blond, kind of cute, not too bright and about 25 years yonger than [him] - it was all win" to which rebecca responded "yeah, if you want to date a foetus". You then swept in with the creepiest pickup line outside of "Deliverance". It was a great line and perfectly timed.

[IllegalArgument]

My favorite line was delivered by my ultra-sassy waitress at Denny's Sunday morning. This woman was seriously amazing, with this dry delivery that just killed me in my drunken haze. After I gave her my order she said, "Okay, so that's one veggie omelet, hashbrowns, whole wheat toast . . . and one strawberry milkshake. Weirdo."

I think I gave her a 40% tip.

Let me guess on the waitress, older black women, talked to you like you were an impatient child.

Yes, we had her for Saturday lunch, she got an extra tip. :)

[Phil]

Let me guess on the waitress, older black women, talked to you like you were an impatient child.

Yes, we had her for Saturday lunch, she got an extra tip. :)


No this was a sassy older white woman named Jan working the counter beat. She rocked!!

[mrund]

Yeah, we had that cool black waitress too. She informed me that my food was hot. "You too", said I.

[brodski]

Yeah, we had that cool black waitress too. She informed me that my food was hot. "You too", said I.

her opening gambitvto ke was "where did you come from!?!" Followed by her telling me exactly what I would order.

Mind you, she didn't compare with the woman who, moments later, told us "You only get one chance with Jesus, I will pray for you".

[The Central Scrutinizer]

Let me guess on the waitress, older black women, talked to you like you were an impatient child.

Yes, we had her for Saturday lunch, she got an extra tip. :)

Xenzabar and I had her for breakfast on Friday. I forget what I ordered, but he ordered almost the same thing, only a smaller portion. She kept hounding him - "Are you sure? Is that all you're going to eat"?

[Desktop Icon]

After exiting the freeway heading north on N. University...

GPS unit: When possible, make a legal u-turn.

After much difficulty, get turned around heading the other direction.

GPS unit: When possible, make a legal u-turn.

We were going the correct direction the first time, but the damned GPS just had to mess with us.

[Andronicus]

"If I saw that Lancaster guy walking down the street I would assume he's nearly homeless and doesn't know quite what is going on. But he gave an absolute amazing speech!"


My mom was there?

Would your mom actually admit you gave a great speech?

(PS - I met you for about two seconds on Sunday and told you then, but let me repeat it, you gave a great presentation.)

[Geek Goddess]

Xenzabar and I had her for breakfast on Friday.

Cannibals.

[SkepticScott]

"You folks are from that meeting next door aren't you. We had some people from over there here yesterday. There was a small guy with a white beard doing tricks. He was pretty good." - Semi-snarky waitress at Denny's Sunday morning. (Chillzero, Jmercer, and Library Lady will verify.)
Yes, Randi, two new JREF members and I had a late lunch there. Randi did a trick for one waitperson, and she the went and brought all the other waitstaff to watch as he did a couple more.

Calling Randi "pretty good" is an insult! ;)

[Brown]

"Let's all have a laugh at those miserable slobs who wanted to come but couldn't make it. Ha, ha. Poor b@$+@rds."

Okay, maybe nobody said it (at least not while sober), but it's a good bet that someone was thinking it.

[kittynh]

"did you notice that Elaine and I are wearing the SAME sandals? And we bought them at the SAME store?"

really really woo. Everyone had to hear that from us about...4 or 5 times.

[Geek Goddess]

"Have you met Sailor Boy?"

[ottle]

"I'll have the Lobster Bisque" - Cleon to the waitress at Denny's :)

[elaine]

"Where's that Saunders guy?" said by me in Sydney............... :(

We were all saying where's that Saunders guy!!!

You were missed. See ya' at 6!

[RSL's better half]

After exiting the freeway heading north on N. University...

GPS unit: When possible, make a legal u-turn.

After much difficulty, get turned around heading the other direction.

GPS unit: When possible, make a legal u-turn.

We were going the correct direction the first time, but the damned GPS just had to mess with us.


:big:
too funny!

[elaine]

After exiting the freeway heading north on N. University...

GPS unit: When possible, make a legal u-turn.

After much difficulty, get turned around heading the other direction.

GPS unit: When possible, make a legal u-turn.

We were going the correct direction the first time, but the damned GPS just had to mess with us.

did you throw the b***h out the window? I borrowed Hal's GPS when I went to Boston. It made me cry.

Two words....ROAD MAPS!

[Redtail]

did you throw the b***h out the window? I borrowed Hal'sGPS when I went to Boston. It made me cry.

Two words....ROAD MAPS!

Any time you have the name HAL and a talking computer-type thing it can only end in tears

[ImaginalDisc]

"The cops are here." - At midnight no less.

[kittynh]

"Reservation for Mr.Waggs....right this way Mr.Waggs....."

[ottle]

"Good timing" - The surly cops, as they saw me and Mr. Ottle leaving as they were walking in to break up the party at midnight.

[kittynh]

"It's a body skimmer, not a girdle"