So I said to God...

[Nucular]

In a slightly irritating mood, I decided to take advantage of the free petition placing service (http://www.lourdes-france.org/gb/gbpriere.htm) on the Lourdes official website, which apparently prints off pleas to God, and posts them as prayers in the Grotto of Our Lady of Lourdes.

Mine says:Dear God,
I doubt you exist, but if I'm wrong, and you do, then I ask you nicely, man to Deity, to please help people use their critical faculties, and stop believing in stuff like miraculous cures. I also request that you dismantle organised religion, in order to stop all the evils committed throughout history in its, and your, name, and to stop organisations, like one not too far from here, making money from desperate people.

Yours, in futility
WillI wonder if it'll get posted.

I guess I'd better stop using the phrase "well I'm not a praying man"... although come to think of it, I don;t think I've ever strung those words together in a sentence anyway.

Anybody care to post their own petitions to Our Lady of Lourdes, or The Big Guy? Or to sneer at my pointless exercise?

[TruthSeeker]

What if your prayer is granted?

[LawnOven]

Haha, I hope so. Those are all reasonable requests.

[Nucular]

Originally posted by TruthSeeker
What if your prayer is granted? Hmmm... then all is well I suppose.

And I think long and hard about whether it was just coincidence.

Then I write a book about it.

Then I feel ashamed for not being sceptical enough, wracked with self-doubt and feelings of regret, stung by charges of hypocrisy for trying to make money from these events.

I live penniless and broken on the street, wiping my a*se on remaindered copies of my exaggerated, vain account.

I die a syphilitic drunk, my only obituary appearing in the Dogmatic Secularist, the periodical of the new conglomerate Conservative Secularist Church, Ltd.

Feasible?

Well it's a lot to pack into a week, but I'll have a go.

[TruthSeeker]

Originally posted by Nucular
Hmmm... then all is well I suppose.

And I think long and hard about whether it was just coincidence.

Then I write a book about it.

Then I feel ashamed for not being sceptical enough, wracked with self-doubt and feelings of regret, stung by charges of hypocrisy for trying to make money from these events.

I live penniless and broken on the street, wiping my a*se on remaindered copies of my exaggerated, vain account.

I die a syphilitic drunk, my only obituary appearing in the Dogmatic Secularist, the periodical of the new conglomerate Conservative Secularist Church, Ltd.

Feasible?

Well it's a lot to pack into a week, but I'll have a go.


:roll: :roll:

and what of the believers? what becomes of them?

[Quinn]

Originally posted by Nucular
Anybody care to post their own petitions to Our Lady of Lourdes, or The Big Guy?

Oh, what the hey...

Dear God,

I doubt very seriously that you're there, but on the off chance that you are, I'd like to suggest that your followers here on earth would make better decisions and act more kindly toward one another if they didn't believe in you and the afterlife you allegedly promise, and instead behaved as though their time on earth is all any of them have, so they'd better make the most of it. Therefore, I ask you to strip your believers of their belief, leaving them accountable only to themselves and their fellow humans, without the option of justifying their actions based on one of the abundant and mutually contradictory theories about what you want them to do. Thank you.

Quinn

[Nucular]

Originally posted by TruthSeeker



:roll: :roll:

and what of the believers? what becomes of them? They all just join the Conservative Secularist Church, Ltd, of course!

[Nucular]

Originally posted by Quinn


Oh, what the hey...

Dear God,

I doubt very seriously that you're there, but on the off chance that you are, I'd like to suggest that your followers here on earth would make better decisions and act more kindly toward one another if they didn't believe in you and the afterlife you allegedly promise, and instead behaved as though their time on earth is all any of them have, so they'd better make the most of it. Therefore, I ask you to strip your believers of their belief, leaving them accountable only to themselves and their fellow humans, without the option of justifying their actions based on one of the abundant and mutually contradictory theories about what you want them to do. Thank you.

Quinn Quinn, that's beaudiful, man, just beaudiful...

Did you send it to Lourdes?

[Quinn]

Originally posted by Nucular
Quinn, that's beaudiful, man, just beaudiful...

Did you send it to Lourdes?

Thank you. And yes.


Quinn

[Prospero]

Dear God,
Protect me from your followers.
Amen

[SFB]

Originally posted by Quinn


Oh, what the hey...

Dear God,

I doubt very seriously that you're there, but on the off chance that you are, I'd like to suggest that your followers here on earth would make better decisions and act more kindly toward one another if they didn't believe in you and the afterlife you allegedly promise, and instead behaved as though their time on earth is all any of them have, so they'd better make the most of it. Therefore, I ask you to strip your believers of their belief, leaving them accountable only to themselves and their fellow humans, without the option of justifying their actions based on one of the abundant and mutually contradictory theories about what you want them to do. Thank you.

Quinn

Well put Quinn.

I'll send her the following prayer in this link, from XTC's Dear God:

http://www.seeklyrics.com/view_lyric/XTC/Dear_God/33290.html

[crocodile deathroll]

God, if you exist could you send me one of those annoying alert windows to give me a sign.
Or at least just crash my computer.

[crocodile deathroll]

Still on line God and none of those annoying alert windows have popped up. So you must be getting slack.

[shemp]

Dear God:

Feck off and die.

Yours Truly,
Shemp

[crocodile deathroll]

Originally posted by crocodile deathroll
Still on line God and none of those annoying alert windows have popped up. So you must be getting slack.

Still on line God and still waiting, Common God put a God virus in everyone's computer just to prove your existence!!!

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by crocodile deathroll
God, if you exist could you send me one of those annoying alert windows to give me a sign.
<input type="button" value="Proof God Exists" onclick="alert('Hi, crocodile deathroll. Its me, God.');">

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by shemp
Dear God:

Feck off and die.

Yours Truly,
Shemp
Dear Shemp:

No! You feck off and die.

Yours in Sin,
God H. Almighty

[baggie]

Originally posted by Nucular
I doubt you exist, but if I'm wrong, and you do, then I ask you nicely, man to Deity, to please help people use their critical faculties, and stop believing in stuff like miraculous cures.

so if god exists and does what you want, that would be a miracle - but then I should start believing in miracles ...... infinite loop ..... brain shorting out.....

[shemp]

Originally posted by Yahweh

Dear Shemp:

No! You feck off and die.

Yours in Sin,
God H. Almighty

Make me

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by shemp
Make me
I will!

[Nucular]

Originally posted by baggie


so if god exists and does what you want, that would be a miracle - but then I should start believing in miracles ...... infinite loop ..... brain shorting out..... Well the occurrence of one miracle does not mean all things that have previously been claimed to be miracles actually are.

[baggie]

no. but one good one would be pretty good for me

[shemp]

Originally posted by Yahweh

I will!

Yeah, when? Nothing's happened yet.

[arcticpenguin]

If you want to write a letter to God, the address is in this article (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=3&u=/nm/20031002/od_nm/god_dc)


ERUSALEM (Reuters) - Thinking of writing a letter to God?

The address, according to those who regularly write to the Almighty, is "God, Jerusalem, Israel." Alternatively you could try: "God, the Wailing Wall," a reference to the Jewish holy site known as the Western Wall.

Either address will ensure your letter ends up in the sorting room of the Israeli post office's Dead Letters Department where it will be collected, placed in a velvet bag and posted to God through the cracks of the Western Wall.

[jan]

Originally posted by shemp


Yeah, when? Nothing's happened yet.

You have to wait one or two hundred years. But it is quite certain.

[shemp]

bump

[Craig]

Originally posted by shemp
bump

I think Shemp's just died.