zakur
23rd September 2003, 03:30 PM
By Michael Powell, author of 100 Pretentious Nursery Rhymes (http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1853754870/).
I am a vessel specifically designed
For the calefaction of tea leaves and water combined.
I am of diminutive dimension:
A corpulent invention.
Observe the place where your hand is supposed to go.
Observe the outlet where the drink is supposed to flow.
When my temperature is high,
Ebullition will make me cry.
You must leverage
To release the beverage.
-------------------------------------------------
Little Bo-Peep has demonstrably failed in her mission
To maintain a group of ruminant mammals under close supervision.
At home the animals will happily appear,
So long as Bo-Peep doesn't interfere.
-------------------------------------------------
After chemical analysis data was compiled,
Regarding the constituents of a male child:
A posterior canine appendage, gastropods
And various other odds and sods.
After similar chemical analysis data was compiled,
Regarding the constituent components of a female child:
Pungent aromatic plant matter and a water-soluble crystalline saccharide,
And everything agreeable was detected inside.
-------------------------------------------------
Using a tool with a heavy-headed blade mounted crosswise on a shaft of wood,
Lizzie Borden violently inveighed against motherhood.
Then fully cognisant of her actions, this delinquent daughter
Indulged in further parental slaughter.
-------------------------------------------------
I read these to my kids every night. ;)
I am a vessel specifically designed
For the calefaction of tea leaves and water combined.
I am of diminutive dimension:
A corpulent invention.
Observe the place where your hand is supposed to go.
Observe the outlet where the drink is supposed to flow.
When my temperature is high,
Ebullition will make me cry.
You must leverage
To release the beverage.
-------------------------------------------------
Little Bo-Peep has demonstrably failed in her mission
To maintain a group of ruminant mammals under close supervision.
At home the animals will happily appear,
So long as Bo-Peep doesn't interfere.
-------------------------------------------------
After chemical analysis data was compiled,
Regarding the constituents of a male child:
A posterior canine appendage, gastropods
And various other odds and sods.
After similar chemical analysis data was compiled,
Regarding the constituent components of a female child:
Pungent aromatic plant matter and a water-soluble crystalline saccharide,
And everything agreeable was detected inside.
-------------------------------------------------
Using a tool with a heavy-headed blade mounted crosswise on a shaft of wood,
Lizzie Borden violently inveighed against motherhood.
Then fully cognisant of her actions, this delinquent daughter
Indulged in further parental slaughter.
-------------------------------------------------
I read these to my kids every night. ;)