Need help - Statement of Purpose application

[Susan Gerbic]

Any great writers out there who what to help a struggling potential Master's student?

My deadline is quickly approaching, I have to work this weekend and don't have time to revise this application to death like I would normally with a essay.

I am looking for someone (or more) to read my statement of purpose and help me make it more academic. I don't want it to sound stuffy either. I want my personality to come through without it being too informal. Anyway, I have been revising it for days and now I think I need some help with the final revisions.

The questions we were supposed to answer were

why pursue a MA in History,
what area do you want to study
prior experiences with history training
factors that may affect application +/-

My problem areas in the past have been run-on sentences and passive voice. If I could make sure they were eliminated and just make it flow a bit better along with sounding professional and excited, then I know it will be alright.

I'm not so comfortable printing the whole thing here but would ask you to PM me or leave a message here so I could email you the 3 page document. I have already asked about the length and the adviser said 2 1/2 is fine but don't go over 3 pages.

Thank you in advance

Susan

[RobRoy]

If you want, you can send it to me: highland.rogue@hotmail.com

I have a degree in Speech Communication and I've worked in marketing communications for the past ten years.

What's your specific deadline?

[Susan Gerbic]

Thank you for your response. I handed it in today. The deadline is Friday.

I was really nervous that I was putting too much "personality" into the essay, but I read an article about writing a great essay and decided that I was on the right track. I'm sure there are all kinds of problems with the essay, but I finally gave up and edited it until I was sick of it. Printed it this morning and handed it in.

Thank you again

Susan

[RobRoy]

No worries . . . glad to have been . . . help? lol