Poetry Contest

[Eos of the Eons]

I entered this poetry contest to see what would happen. The immediate praise filled response caused me to raise my eyebrows. I know the poem I sent in wasn't that great. I hardly even tried to write a good poem. Certainly nothing 'inspiring' as they claimed (yes, even I am not that ego filled to fall for their overblown praise).


The praise (just a little bit of it):

Before going any further, T(my name), let me make one thing clear . . . you were selected for publication on the basis of your unique talent. The new poem which you will submit for this edition has been accepted for publication because your previously published poetry sparks the imagination and presents the reader with a fresh, unique perspective on life.

We believe you to be one of the most interesting poets we have encountered, so we wish to feature your artistry in this special edition and make this special prize money available to you and the others who have been chosen for publication. You should be aware that you are under no obligation whatsoever to submit any entry fee or subsidy payment, or to make any purchase of any kind. Of course, many people do wish to own a copy of the publication in which their artistry appears. If you would like to order a copy, please see the enclosed material for special discount information.

. :roll: "one of the most interesting..."


Righghgt...man they can gush!


So I did a simple google on the poetry.com...and of course found this:


Scam or not?
Is poetry.com a scam?
Well... That depends on how you want to see it. If you want to be so blind and do not want to see that they are only after your money... There's little I can do here. Maybe at the end of this text I might have convinced you if you read the poem I sent in which was a semi-finalist poem with artistic vision and unique talent and whatever they wrote.
Are they doing something illegal?
I guess that you can see also from different points of view.
No, they are not promising you that you are going to be a millionaire.
No, they are not promising you that you are going to get a contract.
No, they are not offering you any fees or payments for your poetry.
But...
They DO tell you that you are one of the few who are selected, whereas pretty much anyone who sends in his or her poems will be selected. So that's a straight on lie.
They DO tell you that your poem is of high quality, even if it sucks big time (I'm not refering to anyone's poem in particular here, just to that one poem that I sent in which was selected).

http://poetrynotcom.tripod.com/

Man I'm good! Noone has been able to pull a fast one on me yet! The fact that you had to buy the **@(()%(# products before they would publish them really rang a bell. Ha!

So yeah, send them a crappy poem and see the praises you get if you can swallow the what they say knowing they are full of it.
:D

[Tricky]

My wife entered one of those things. She is actually a pretty good poet, but maybe not Poet Laureate material. However, she was bragging about being "published" and I told her not to take that so seriously. "They'll publish anything from somebody who buys the book," I told her. She did not want to let go of her belief that this was a discriminating journal of the muse, so I said, "Let's read some of the poems together." Needless to say, I searched for the most awful pieces of crap I could find, which wasn't hard to do.

After hearing me read a few of these (they are even worse when spoken aloud), she relented and agreed that maybe this wasn't the screener of great talent that she had originally supposed. I suppose I was cruel to destroy her little fantasy, but I am a big believer in facing reality.

[Eos of the Eons]

I would have a done the same because they'll keep sucking you in. I'm sure you know she at least has some talent and that she should save it for credible review.

The crap I've been getting from these guys shows that they will fleece you as much as they can. It's better she know now rather than be triple embarrassed after wasting too much money.

[Yahweh]

A lot of the kids I work with claim to be poets...

I dont know if you've ever read the poetry written by a highschooler, its excruciating. Especially when they write about (but not limited to) any of the following topics: Life, death, sex, love, sadness, loss, or war.

(Lots of kids like to write poetries about suicide and self-mutilation... I dont know, it seems to be a recurring theme...)

That still leaves a whole huge field of topics they could cover, of course most of them would rather write "Humorous" poetry. Humorous translates into "absurd" because the kids at that age know no other kind of humor. I'll give you a taste:
I slipped an fell and broke my ankle,
Then I spent the better part of an hour screaming at an egg sandwich,
Speaking of eggs,
They come out chickens asses,
SCRUMPTOUS!

Of course, that is my best interpretation of "absurd highschool poetry", and I must say my interpretation is much better than any kid's I've ever seen... yes, its all that irritatingly terrible...

[Eos of the Eons]

:eek: screaming at an egg san? I bet that poem would get accepted with all the compliments at poetry.com

Send it in, and see...:)

[Hand Bent Spoon]

Poetry is the one form of writing everyone is convinced they can do. And guess what? They can't.

No wonder poetry is dead.

That exposition of Poetry.com couldn't be more correct. This may not be illegal, but it sure seems like it should be. Talk about misleading!

[VicDaring]

Originally posted by Hand Bent Spoon
Poetry is the one form of writing everyone is convinced they can do.

Not me. Never got it. Never will.

No wonder poetry is dead.

I come not praise poetry, but to bury it.

[luvtinayothers]

I entered the contest about 6 years ago and they actually published this poem in
their book :roll:

My Poem (http://www.poetry.com/Publications/display.asp?ID=P0709979&BN=046&PN=1)

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by luvtinayothers
I entered the contest about 6 years ago and they actually published this poem in
their book :roll:

My Poem (http://www.poetry.com/Publications/display.asp?ID=P0709979&BN=046&PN=1)
Which one? There's like a zillion on that page.

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons

Which one? There's like a zillion on that page.


This one made me gag, and it's the only one I looked at, too scared to look at the rest.


True love is the most loving romance.
The coming of a new dawn
Could not have been achieved
If it were not for the romance
Of the true lovers of God
As night is before dawn, the romantic
lives of men and women
are beautiful to behold.
The answer to the question of where mankind
was conceived is the story of our Bible
and Biblical history.
In the daily holidays we celebrate,
our answer is this our children were made
from a man and a woman
This is the story of mankind.
.


:eek: I think it could actually get worse!!

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons
:eek: screaming at an egg san? I bet that poem would get accepted with all the compliments at poetry.com

Send it in, and see...:)
Speaking of poetry.com, I recently found out one of my friends was submitting poetry under my name (and possibly home address). How much fun its going to be when ma and pa recieve home address mail from Poetry.com with "my" poetry in it (apparently they have a habit of sending offers through snail mail or something, usually with your poetry attached). Fortunately, I've already checked poetry.com, nothing written by "me", I also happen to know they have a policy where they delete the "offensive material".

[Eos of the Eons]

Ouch, did he write only offensive stuff?

What did you do to your friend?

[luvtinayothers]

Oh, dear. The rat bastards won't let me link directly to the poem. Here it is:

What Spencer's Radio Told Him About His Russian Neighbor's Impending Emigration

When late at night the Martian craft
Comes blazing through the murky haze
Then Spencer dons his tin foil hat
Which shields him from their secret rays

And Spencer knows where spaceships land
He hears the roar of hyper-drives
And he knows what his neighbor's planned
For when the final day arrives

His neighbor is a Russian spy
Who photographs the U.F.O.'s
And stares into the midnight sky
But does not know what Spencer knows

For late at night his radio
Would whisper long forgotten words
Of ancient rites of long ago
And secrets of the universe

He knows the day of reckoning
And where the Russian spy will wait,
With glowing bonfires beckoning,
To leave the Earth and emigrate

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by luvtinayothers
Oh, dear. The rat bastards won't let me link directly to the poem. Here it is:

What Spencer's Radio Told Him About His Russian Neighbor's Impending Emigration

When late at night the Martian craft
Comes blazing through the murky haze
Then Spencer dons his tin foil hat
Which shields him from their secret rays

And Spencer knows where spaceships land
He hears the roar of hyper-drives
And he knows what his neighbor's planned
For when the final day arrives

His neighbor is a Russian spy
Who photographs the U.F.O.'s
And stares into the midnight sky
But does not know what Spencer knows

For late at night his radio
Would whisper long forgotten words
Of ancient rites of long ago
And secrets of the universe

He knows the day of reckoning
And where the Russian spy will wait,
With glowing bonfires beckoning,
To leave the Earth and emigrate


Hmm, spencer is schizophrenic (hears things on radio) and paranoid/even racist about his neighbor?

[luvtinayothers]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons



Hmm, spencer is schizophrenic (hears things on radio) and paranoid/even racist about his neighbor?


Ummm..none of these things. He really hears things on the radio and his neighbor really
is a Russian spy. Don't know why you'd have to assume that Spencer is mentally unbalanced.
The point is, if they'll publish this crap (and they even sent me a letter praising
my poem) they'll publish anything.

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by luvtinayothers



Ummm..none of these things. He really hears things on the radio and his neighbor really
is a Russian spy. Don't know why you'd have to assume that Spencer is mentally unbalanced.
The point is, if they'll publish this crap (and they even sent me a letter praising
my poem) they'll publish anything.


Shucks, that wasn't funny? Oh well. I shoud post the one they praised me for:D

Sent in to Poetry.com:

Another retiree in our midst!
You know you will be dearly missed.
After you have cleared out your office,
Your absence will be more than noticed!

Now your workspace will be bare,
There'll be more room than we need to spare.
You won't be joining us anymore for lunch,
Or for meetings with the Admin team bunch!

Now you'll have time to chase the men,
Or enjoy your days traveling or sleeping in.
Just remember we won't forget you-
You are kind and generous through and through.

A new beginning, not the end.
And just know we will remember,
That you were more than a co-worker and leader;
You were also the best kind of friend.

Hardly artistic...just something for the situation at hand. I was hoping to get some constructive criticism. Sadly, was not to be.

_______________________________________________

Original from when lady was retiring from work...with "had to be there" scenarios in it:

Another retiree in our midst!
You know you will be dearly missed,
After you have cleared out your office,
Especially of all those Post-Its,
Your absence will be more than noticed!

The fridge crispers will be bare,
Now there'll be more room than we need to spare,
You won't be joining us anymore for lunch,
Or for meetings with the Ace team bunch!

Now you'll have time to chase the men,
And enjoy the chance to leisurely shop or sleep in.
Just remember we won't forget you-
You are kind and generous through and through.

A new beginning, not the end.
Take care of yourself-
Marg Richardson,
And know we will remember
That you were more than a co-worker and leader;
You were also the best kind of friend.