I LEVITATE! Here is proof! You give me million now!

[helius]

Okay, so my cake not work so good. But now I have new idea for special molcules!

I have develop special levitating water! Anything put over water, even me, float in air!

See picture here for proof!

http://www.physics.odu.edu/~weinstei/srhr/chandon/flyera.jpg

I fill pool with speciual water. All water is verified, personally passed by me! You see man (not me, I ask pool cleaning boy to do) levitate! HE FLOAT IN AIR OVER POOL!

This can have many use. If oceans filled with water passed by me, not need plane to fly! Just step into ocean and flap arms! I did! I flew from Tokyo to Sna Francisco! Boy, my arms tired! I fly like bats!

Airlines soon go bankrupt! Can fill rivers too, so you can fly across country by follow rivers!

Now you give me million so I can develop this and show world! Soon, everyone will be bats like me!

[Moonfrog]

Oh my god (or other spurious metaphysical construct of your choice)! I was such a sceptic but now....

:confused:

I believe in everything! I can't see the strings so it must be true!! I'm even finding myself driven to use multiple exclamation marks!!!!!

:i:

[Starrman]

That is f$%#ing hilarious!

All water is verified, personally passed by me!

Does this mean you filled the pool with magic piss?

[Suezoled]

This is not a good idea simply because the marine life will not be able to breathe, since they'll all be suspended. Think of all the stinking fish carcasses floating around in the air.
Man, some people just don't think before they invent a life-altering mechanism that will change the world.....

[UnrepentantSinner]

:roll:

Good one helius...

[Rolfe]

Originally posted by UnrepentantSinner
:roll:

Good one helius...
I didn't actually get this until I read the Yellow Bamboo threads.

Now - ROTFL. :roll:

Rolfe.

[Brown]

I prefer watching the girls levitate at the end of "The Man Show."

[!Xx+-Rational-+xX!]

If this is true then you must be interested in this.
http://www.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?threadid=27902

[michaellee]

Hold the presses! I thought something looked fishy when I first saw this incredible photo of a poolboy actually levitating above water.

I was right. Helius cheated. CHEATER! CHEATER!

I took the liberty of enhancing his photo, and take a look at what I found. The cheater is using almost invisible, super strength support wires, attached to each of his ears! I don't know what the ends connect to, since the photo was obviously cropped to eliminate this from the photo. What trickery! He even used different colored wires, so they each would blend in the background. Man, what planning and execution. Thank our lucky stars that I stumbled upon this chicanery.

http://66.120.79.93/images/tool.gif

[Moose]

:roll:

You know, Helius, I couldn't help noticing that the "pool boy"'s hair is wet.

I hope you told him that he was about to "levitate" (apparently repeatedly) into a pool of water you personally "passed". Full disclosure and all that.

You know folks, I have to admit that Helius is just about everything I admire in a troll: weird, creative, funny, and quite harmless.

:)

[Questioninggeller]

Originally posted by Starrman
That is f$%#ing hilarious!



Does this mean you filled the pool with magic piss?

HAHAHA LOL

[Pakaran]

Originally posted by UnrepentantSinner
:roll:

Good one helius...

I can levitate like that too! Especially over water! It just doesn't last very long. Sort of like my favorite penis enlargement method - works every time, doesn't last long.

Do I need to work on my psychic powers more? :confused:

[Jim_MDP]

Fake.

Helius, you lying bastard. We won't be fooled so easily. I call 'FAKE' on your special water.

You simply got a Master Trained Yogic Flyer to hover over the pool.

There's nothing 'special' about the water.

ADMIT IT. NOW.

[CERDIP]

There is no such thing as a Master Trained Yogic Flyer. So that's not it.

He's using an anti-gravity device (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/692968.stm) powered by a free-energy generator (http://colossus2.cvl.bcm.tmc.edu/~wje/free_energy/).

It's easy, once you know what to look for. Notice his left hand clutched to his chest - his center of gravity!, and notice how he holds thathand closed ! The other hand isn't closed, is it? So why is his left hand closed. What is he hiding ? The device, of course.

And also notice that there are no power cables running to his hand. THERE IS NO WAY HE CAN RUN AN ANTI_GRAVITY DEVICE WITHOUT POWER !!!!!!!11

He doesn't need cables anyway, the free-energy generator (one of the new sub-miniature types (http://www.eopc.com/sc5.html) that use sub-micron chip technology (http://citeseer.nj.nec.com/557570.html), that's why it's so small) is cupped in his hand along with the device.

Oh yeah, and those wires attached to his ears? Mere tethers to prevent him from flying off in a random direction.

Well, there you go.

Next!

[Jim_MDP]

Originally posted by CERDIP
There is no such thing as a Master Trained Yogic Flyer. So that's not it.


But... but... I've seen pictures. Really. Several of them in fact. Thay can't all have been fakes.

I'm so confused. :confused:

[CERDIP]

Yogic Flying is really just a cover story dreamed up by the Pentagon to cover their anti-gravity free-energy water-seeking UFO weapons program.

[helius]

Here is more proof! I teach animal to fly! Here is pictur of flying coyote! You give me $million now!

[UnrepentantSinner]

Helius, is your flying coyote the result of a genetic experiment or is he wearing some sort of mechanical contraption?

[helius]

What, you no read up above?? I tell you already IDIOT, is because of speciaul water I pass! No need costume, is just for make easier to flap arms, move faster!

I no do genetic edxperiment on coyote! Genetic experiment only on chicken to get square egg, but not yet on coyote. Maybe good idea, I cross coyote with chicken, get flying coyote that lay eggs! Thanks for good idea, but you still IDIOT!

[-=Vagrant=-]

Originally posted by Moose

You know, Helius, I couldn't help noticing that the "pool boy"'s hair is wet.


It is possible that he is using some sort of hair gel.

[helius]

I have been long in hiding, but I back! Must always hide from bad mans who want to use my invensions to take over world!

For those who mock me, make fun me, call me crezy, I have new photo prove! Here is photo I take while my wive and I fly across atlantic osean! Want to say, the baething suit weared because is aerodinamic, and too we sometime like stop and take nice swims. But no need baething suit to fly! Can fly in bisness suit if you like! We crossd atlantic osean in twelv hour! Make airlines look like idiots!

I know many donot believe my clams. I will send you bottle of special passd water if you ask. You pour into bathtub and then jump! You will find self floating in air over tub! Who wants some of my passd water?

[NoZed Avenger]

Is it spring break already?

[Strider1974]

There is an art to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
- Douglas Adams

[Mendeli]

Could we have a video instead of a still shot for this please?

I was thinking, if the levitating person was spinning at ultra-relativistic quantum speeds, he might be creating a gravity field strong enough to levitate over anything. I believe the water is just a conjurer trick to make us look at something that has nothing to do with the trick at all and ignore the apparent spinning motion in the still shot!

[GzuzKryzt]

...
I will send you bottle of special passd water if you ask. You pour into bathtub and then jump! You will find self floating in air over tub! Who wants some of my passd water?

I wand water. How many you charge? I give you munne quick. You sent water. I float on air. Sent water now. I give you munne later. I lefit...leavitt...I float first then pay. Sent water now. My adrress:

Hans Bratwurst
Sauerkrautstraße 88
54290 Trier
Deutsches R.... I mean: Germany

You sent water now! I wanna float long time.

[TimmyBerry]

AHA! If you look real close, you can see that the guy's actually suspended by a few dozen fishing lines above the water.

Skeptics: 1, Woos:0

[hurdygurdy]

Come on helius, it's evident that you're flapping your feet. Anyway, it's always nice to see here someone whose english is even worse than mine.

[JollyRoger]

I am gonna place a shovel on ground, with the spade part pointing up, step on the spade and the handle will rise up right in my hand (or hit me in the face if I am not paying attention). SO my mind sends a message to my foot to step on the spade, and it moves. I moved it with my mind right???:D I just have to keep the test takers from lookin at my feet.

I WIN
WALL STREET HERE I COME

[NiallM]

Please accept this post as one of the affidavits you'll need!

You've convinced me.

The problem is: having paid good money for a pool, what use is the pool if you can't get in there? I'm puzzled now.

[shemp]

I have been long in hiding, but I back! Must always hide from bad mans who want to use my invensions to take over world!

For those who mock me, make fun me, call me crezy, I have new photo prove! Here is photo I take while my wive and I fly across atlantic osean! Want to say, the baething suit weared because is aerodinamic, and too we sometime like stop and take nice swims. But no need baething suit to fly! Can fly in bisness suit if you like! We crossd atlantic osean in twelv hour! Make airlines look like idiots!

I know many donot believe my clams. I will send you bottle of special passd water if you ask. You pour into bathtub and then jump! You will find self floating in air over tub! Who wants some of my passd water?

OK, here's a question: You claim that people can float over pools of your special water. But then you provide a picture of your "wive" flying, and claim the two of you flew over the Atlantic. Even if your claim of levitation is true, what provides the locomotion necessary to fly in a horizontal direction?

[TjW]

OK, here's a question: You claim that people can float over pools of your special water. But then you provide a picture of your "wive" flying, and claim the two of you flew over the Atlantic. Even if your claim of levitation is true, what provides the locomotion necessary to fly in a horizontal direction?
Clearly, the farewell dinner was at Big Al's Burrito Emporium. Hold the Beano.

[themyst]

It's easy, once you know what to look for. Notice his left hand clutched to his chest

His hand is in that shape because of the blue of the water below.

[helius]

You make funb me again! No need burito! Locomation is easy! Even IDIOT like Shemp can do it!

I tell you before about cake and laxatives! You eat cake, take laxative, cake expand in bowels and laxative push cake out! Newton tell us, every reaction have oposite reaction! So when cake exit bowls, push you forward! To fly across atlantic osean, take bag of cake and laxative with you, and eat as you go! To fly osean, need 30 kilos cake and 4 kilos ex-lax! (That for me, wive is liter, she need 20% less!)

So now you stop make fun me, and give me 1 million!

[shemp]

I guess this gives new meaning to the phrase "eat and run."

[TimmyBerry]

:faint: No offence, but this thread's bloody hilarious.

[Meffy]

Wires... free energy... yogic flying... all WRONG! Isn't it obvious?

Helius has been breathing helium.

And if there's one thing cartoons have taught ME (as opposed to Homer Simpson) it's that everyone floats after breathing helium. So: Ordinary science, no million dollars, sorry.

[rjh01]

Meffy,
You could be onto something here. How about eating something that then decomposes to Hydrogen? That would provide extra lift. Also the fuel.

[Meffy]

Hydrogen? But -- dear me -- that's what lofted the Hindenburg. =@.@= Helius, observe all fire safety rules scrupulously! I'd hate to have to recite "Oh, the inanity"...

[billydkid]

This is not a good idea simply because the marine life will not be able to breathe, since they'll all be suspended. Think of all the stinking fish carcasses floating around in the air.
Man, some people just don't think before they invent a life-altering mechanism that will change the world.....

yeah, it will be sort of like that ice nine stuff from that Kurt Vonnegut novel. Scarey stuff. Please stop before it is too late!!!!

[DrMatt]

Sorry to burst your bubble :D but Super Homeopathic Institute of Technology (S.H.[ed.: stop that!]) has you beat. All the while you're passing water, I'm passing gas!

PS see http://www.gulligo.com for more information on S.H[ed.: I said, STOP THAT!]

[Lamuella]

I am floating exactly one micron above my seat. Which is, of course, much more difficult than levitating a much greater distance, as it requires precise control.

[DrMatt]

Or really worn-out undergarments.

[Kimpatsu]

It's easy, once you know what to look for. Notice his left hand clutched to his chest - his center of gravity!, and notice how he holds thathand closed ! The other hand isn't closed, is it? So why is his left hand closed. What is he hiding ?
He's not hiding anything; he's clenching his fist due to the blueness of the water, as explained by Renee Ryan... :p