Vatican Lists New Ways You Can Go To Hell

[BPSCG]

Link (http://washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080310/FOREIGN/936229662/1001)
VATICAN CITY — A Vatican official has listed drugs, pollution, genetic manipulation and social and economic injustices as new areas of sinful behavior.I am so screwed. I drove to work today - pollution. I eat genetically altered food. And I'm an American, so I obviously commit social and economic injustice with my every breath.

Plus I'm not Catholic, so I can't go get my soul sandpapered by confessing my sins to a priest and saying a few Hail Marys.

See y'all in Hell. :(

[ReFLeX]

Luckily the wine they drink has no alcohol in it after it turns into Jesus blood.

[Drudgewire]

Thankfully I choose to believe the Bible over the Vatican when it comes to my choice of mind expansion.

Genesis 1:12. And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good.

http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/350.gif

[TragicMonkey]

Luckily the wine they drink has no alcohol in it after it turns into Jesus blood.

You would think that deiphagia and vampirism would be sins, but not only are they not sins, they're a sacrament!

eta: Or would it be theophagia? I'm not sure which is Greek and which is Latin.

[Marquis de Carabas]

When I saw this headline, I sighed, as I figured it meant I would have to expand my to-do list. Luckily, however, I've already done all those things.

[wahrheit]

Growing up catholic, I really have to wonder why the Vatican would condemn drugs.

The only thing I vividly remember is priests with a red head (the wine thing) and especially the Frankincense. They would use this stuff on each and every occasion. Sunday morning mass, no breakfast, you get a whiff of this burning resin up your nose and little pink elephants start flying around the pews.

[BPSCG]

You would think that deiphagia and vampirism would be sins, but not only are they not sins, they're a sacrament!

eta: Or would it be theophagia? I'm not sure which is Greek and which is Latin.:biggrin: Reminds me of the lady I once overheard asking, "I can never remember; who came first, the Greeks or the Romans?"

[tsg]

Why am I suddenly reminded of Terry Prachett's Abominations of Om?

[PAC]

Link (http://washingtontimes.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080310/FOREIGN/936229662/1001)
I am so screwed. I drove to work today - pollution. I eat genetically altered food. And I'm an American, so I obviously commit social and economic injustice with my every breath.

Plus I'm not Catholic, so I can't go get my soul sandpapered by confessing my sins to a priest and saying a few Hail Marys.

See y'all in Hell. :(


I was raised Catholic but have gone to the dark side. Quite seriously tho, I always thought that confession, or a sincere act of contrition (self service, no priest needed) was the best religious idea of all time. For those who believe in it it's great stuff! I ask you to take a moment to think about what a great concept this is.

[BPSCG]

I was raised Catholic but have gone to the dark side. Quite seriously tho, I always thought that confession, or a sincere act of contrition (self service, no priest needed) was the best religious idea of all time. For those who believe in it it's great stuff! I ask you to take a moment to think about what a great concept this is.What you're describing is commonly called a nagging conscience.

[PAC]

Wouldn't it be great if we all had the capacity to forgive ourselves for the errors of our past? Most of us are too tough on ourselves. Being rasied Catholic, I can tell you that leaving confession felt great! Of couse the religion is crap, but the concept is very soothing.

A nagging conscience drives you crazy. Confession was a great way to soothe the beast of nagging conscience and move on.

[MattusMaximus]

I am so screwed.

See y'all in Hell. :(


Nah, don't sweat it. You obviously need a "Get Out of Hell Free" (http://goohf.com/) card.

I never leave home without mine :D

[Safe-Keeper]

I just love it when people decry narcotics as 'immoral'. Being addicted to a substance isn't 'immoral', it's a economy-wrecking, body- and social life-destroying Hell (no pun intended) 99% of abusers long to escape from. What happened to Christianity being forgiving and a 'safe haven' religion for the poor, oppressed and sick? What happened to Sola Fida? What happened to... oh, it's the Wackican... my bad:boggled:.

ETA: Genetic manipulation is a [rule8] Sin now? I suppose the Vatican, for consistency, is thusly going to ban all dogs and cats in the Vatican, as both of these species came about through genetic manipulation (selective breeding style).

ETA 2:
Genesis 1:12. And the earth brought forth grass, [and] herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed [was] in itself, after his kind: and God saw that [it was] good. Narcotic substances were not addictive or harmful before the Fall </Creationist apologist>

ETA 3:
What's it like to be a Catholic moderate, anyhow? If I belonged to a religious denomination whose leader spouted this nonsense, I'd go hide in the woods and cry.

[rjh01]

Here is a better link from the BBC (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7287071.stm)

Drug pushers. I wonder if that includes people who sell legal drugs? Or what about sell medicines?

The difference between reality and the Catholic church is getting bigger over time.

[Complexity]

Like the rat in a hat has something to teach me about morality...

[Wolfman]

Well, technically speaking, standard Roman Catholic doctrine is that we're all going to Hell, due simply to that wonderful concept called "original sin" (unless you get saved). Adding new crimes to the list doesn't make a difference...tell one small lie...or rape/murder a million people, you end up in the same place, with the same punishment.

This new list just gives the RC leaders an excuse to shove their noses into new areas, classifying it as "sin", and therefore making them the only ones able to comment on it authoritatively.

[Just thinking]

They forgot to list moving to New Jersey --- ha! I'm already there.

[Wowbagger]

* social and economic injustices – wait, these were not sins, before?! Damn, so many lost opportunities! ;)

* drugs – Is the Vatican willing to remove wine from their ceremonies? If not, they are only adding to their own history of hypocrisy.

* genetic manipulation – I think they are referring to stem cell research, for one thing. So, the church will be left behind, when science starts developing real miracles with it.

[tsg]

They forgot to list moving to New Jersey --- ha! I'm already there.

Nah, hell aspires to be New Jersey.

[Cuddles]

The more I hear about Hell, the more I'm convinced it would be much more fun than Heaven. It seems that pretty much anyone who has ever done anything vaguely interesting will be in Hell. Why would anyone want to end up in Heaven with a bunch of losers and nothing to do? Hell doesn't just have the best music, it seems to have the best everything else as well.

Edit: Incidentally, social and economic injustice? Just how much money and land does the Catholic church have? Haven't they got around to making hypocrisy a sin yet?

[Polaris]

* genetic manipulation – I think they are referring to stem cell research, for one thing. So, the church will be left behind, when science starts developing real miracles with it.

Oh they'll come around when it's discovered that altar boys can be genetically altered to get amnesia when they are molested.

[Beerina]

* social and economic injustices – wait, these were not sins, before?! Damn, so many lost opportunities! ;)

It depends. I'm still waiting for the line in the Bible that says, "Help the poor. Ask your neighbor to help, too. If he does not, threaten him with jail. If he resists, capture him, and, if necessary, kill him."

Also, given how modern, freedom-based capitalism has outstripped theocracies (and all other tyrranies) in the production of wealth and increased living standards for their populations, one wonders what the hell he's talking about to begin with.


* genetic manipulation – I think they are referring to stem cell research, for one thing. So, the church will be left behind, when science starts developing real miracles with it.

'cause, you know, prayer works so well currently at helping out people with missing arms, or Down's syndrome, or with spinal injuries, or cystic fibrosis, or (from the Church's point of view) born-that-way gayness. :rolleyes:

[Darth Rotor]

The more I hear about Hell, the more I'm convinced it would be much more fun than Heaven. It seems that pretty much anyone who has ever done anything vaguely interesting will be in Hell. Why would anyone want to end up in Heaven with a bunch of losers and nothing to do? Hell doesn't just have the best music, it seems to have the best everything else as well.

Edit: Incidentally, social and economic injustice? Just how much money and land does the Catholic church have? Haven't they got around to making hypocrisy a sin yet?

Missing the point again, are we?

Everyone sins. Heaven will be full of sinners who have, if one is to believe RCC doctrine, fully confronted their sins, and apologized sincerely and asked forgiveness for their sins against others. And received forgiveness.

In Heaven there is no sin.

But it will be full of sinners.

I don't know about you, but that sounds like an immense potential for fun, fun, fun till sky daddy takes the T bird away. Sinners sin, but no matter what they do, in Heaven, it isn't sin.

Can you say "Party on, Garth?"

Boring?

Not hardly.

All that would be missing is people who didn't know how to say "I'm sorry" and mean it, along with the willingness to go through a less than difficult ritual. I've met enough ******** like that in my life that I won't miss any of them.

Of course, if I don't get my repentance right, if I screw it up (I've screwed things up before) I'll see you in Hell, and we'll have our own party. Bring your smokes, I hear there will be fire.

DR

[LostAngeles]

Wouldn't it be great if we all had the capacity to forgive ourselves for the errors of our past? Most of us are too tough on ourselves. Being rasied Catholic, I can tell you that leaving confession felt great! Of couse the religion is crap, but the concept is very soothing.

A nagging conscience drives you crazy. Confession was a great way to soothe the beast of nagging conscience and move on.

You know, I just try not to do things that leave me with a nagging conscience or if I do something that gives me a nagging conscience, I try to make it right.

Not to say that I don't still hide from it from time to time, but I'd rather try and not have the problem or try to fix it then telling some random dude in a box.

[LostAngeles]

* social and economic injustices – wait, these were not sins, before?! Damn, so many lost opportunities! ;)

...

I guess all the folks who permitted indulgences are off the hook since it wouldn't be a sin before, eh?

[MattusMaximus]

See y'all in Hell. :(


The last time someone told me I was going to Hell I responded thusly:

"That's GREAT! It'll finally be my chance to get away from it all and work on my tan!" :flamed: :D

[Architect]

Makes you glad to be proddy heretic.

[/Scots]

[Father Dagon]

Does it say anything about exploration and explotation of space?

[Hokulele]

No polluting or social injustice? Crap, I had Indian curry for dinner tonight so I am screwed. :(

[Bob Klase]

So many sins, so little time.

[Safe-Keeper]

There was a Norwegian TV series recently called The Seven Sins, in which this guy was filmed performing one Great Sin in each episode. Now they can make a new season:D!

But seriously, does anyone actually listen to this Pope anymore? I can't wait to hear fundies go 'stop altering the DNA, it's created by God and manipulation is a Sin!'.

[Architect]

But seriously, does anyone actually listen to this Pope anymore? I can't wait to hear fundies go 'stop altering the DNA, it's created by God and manipulation is a Sin!'.

The fact that we live in predominantly Protestant/Lutherian countries may give us a certain view on this issue.....

[Rolfe]

Makes you glad to be proddy heretic.

[/Scots]


I know so many non-PC retorts to all this I'd better shut the heck up right now.

Rolfe. (Credentialled Presbyterian Sunday School teacher....)

[AgeGap]

6 of 7 seems to be morally debatable experiments. Debatable. Not clear cut.
You would think with Papal Infallibility he could be a bit clearer.

[Nucular]

Yep, inventing new sins, that's what's needed. Now the Catholic Church has wiped pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth* from the face of the planet, it makes sense to make a new list.

According to Bloomberg (http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601102&sid=aizloDFbRPRM&refer=uk), the full list is:
1. ``Bioethical' violations such as birth control

2. ``Morally dubious'' experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

Seems to be only numbers one, two and three the Catholic Church isn't institutionally guilty of, and number one arguably causes most of the rest.



*All of which I committed only this morning

[patchbunny]

There was a Norwegian TV series recently called The Seven Sins, in which this guy was filmed performing one Great Sin in each episode. Now they can make a new season:D!

How was the lust episode? :D or :eye-poppi

[Architect]

I know so many non-PC retorts to all this I'd better shut the heck up right now.

Rolfe. (Credentialled Presbyterian Sunday School teacher....)


Non-RC retorts, surely?


;)

[Rolfe]

Non-RC retorts, surely?


;)


Yeah, that too!

Rolfe.

[MattusMaximus]

Yep, inventing new sins, that's what's needed. Now the Catholic Church has wiped pride, envy, gluttony, lust, anger, greed and sloth* from the face of the planet, it makes sense to make a new list.



Damn! I'm going to miss lust - that one's my favorite :D

[TragicMonkey]

Non-RC retorts, surely?


;)

I spent my entire childhood thinking that the RC in RC Cola stood for Roman Catholic. I remember thinking that only my own religion would spend time and money making such an awful soda, then try to get us to drink it by applying guilt.

[mrbaracuda]

He also listed bad ecological practices and economic inequality, "in which the poor are getting poorer and the rich growing richer, fueling an unsustainable social injustice."

Oh god no, NO NOT THEM TOO!

* mrbaracuda cries and shakes fist

[bigred]

er

a Vatican official has suggested adding a few more transgressionspf - a suggestion. Call me when it's canon.


6 of 7 seems to be morally debatable experiments. Debatable. Not clear cut.
You would think with Papal Infallibility he could be a bit clearer.
a - He's not the Pope
b - Even the Pope is not considered infallible by the Catholic Church and can only speak with infallibility when speaking "ex cathedra"

Thx for playing, here's a copy of the home game, run along now :rolleyes: ;)