The World's Weirdest/Stupidest Conspiracy Theories

[Walter Ego]

This is from a blog devoted to general woo woo mocking I found the other day. Not all the CTs are sourced but these are a few of my favorites.

Stephen King killed John Lennon. (Steve Lightfoot)

The 1939 War of the Worlds radio broadcoast was a psychological warfare study funded by C.D. Jackson on behalf of the Rockefeller Foundation, designed to find out how Americans would react to an enemy invasion. Funny... (Daniel Hopsicker)

Denver International Airport was built expressly to conceal a vast underground complex, headquarters of the New World Order elite. Clues are hidden in the airport's peace-themed mural.

The early Middle Ages (614-911 A.D.) never occurred. Everything that supposedly happened during those years was either a misunderstanding, an event from a different era, or an outright lie - Charlemagne, for instance, is a fictional figure. And we are actually living in the 1700s. (Herbert Illig's phantom time hypothesis)

http://swallowingthecamel.blogspot.com/2007/08/worlds-weirdeststupidest-conspiracy.html

[fullflavormenthol]

This is from a blog devoted to general woo woo mocking I found the other day. Not all the CTs are sourced but these are a few of my favorites.
The last one is New Chronology, which is my personal favorite. I am secretly working on a Zeitgeist satire that focuses its first part on the New Chronology. Fomenko is the best person for that, a brilliant Mathematician, but a weird historian.

[Spindrift]

The last one is New Chronology, which is my personal favorite. I am secretly working on a Zeitgeist satire that focuses its first part on the New Chronology. Fomenko is the best person for that, a brilliant Mathematician, but a weird historian.

I've heard of this bit of woo before, but I never heard why it's necessarily that someone made up 300 years.

[fullflavormenthol]

I've heard of this bit of woo before, but I never heard why it's necessarily that someone made up 300 years.
That is the best part. It never explains the why. Although Fomenko hints that it is an excuse to take away from the Russian history, which is sad that he thinks that because the Russians have a very rich history.

[gtc]

The mural at DIA is very odd. This is either evidence of drug use amongst artists or evidence that the NWO likes to advertise its secret bases.

[defaultdotxbe]

The last one is New Chronology, which is my personal favorite. I am secretly working on a Zeitgeist satire that focuses its first part on the New Chronology. Fomenko is the best person for that, a brilliant Mathematician, but a weird historian.
actually illigs dark ages thing is different than new chronology, some monks made up 300 years to skip over the millenium, with the invetible social turmoil it would bring

[Walter Ego]

actually illigs dark ages thing is different than new chronology, some monks made up 300 years to skip over the millenium, with the invetible social turmoil it would bring

Why didn't we think of that for 2000 C.E. ? We could have avoided all that panic promised by NBC and Alex Jones.

[Alferd_Packer]

The mural at DIA is very odd. This is either evidence of drug use amongst artists or evidence that the NWO likes to advertise its secret bases.


Not odd, just latino in the Diego Rivera style.

[fullflavormenthol]

actually illigs dark ages thing is different than new chronology, some monks made up 300 years to skip over the millenium, with the invetible social turmoil it would bring
Sorry, my mistake.

[Alferd_Packer]

Actually all CTs are stupid. The challenge is to figure out just how nutty a CTer can be before they get locked up.

Some of the strangest characters:

Nancy Liedner
Killtown
Don Bradley
Tom Bearden
Gene Ray
Gaiacomm (Jubal Ben Hur)
Professor Joe Vee
"crazy" Larry Larson
Cliff Carnicom

on and on and on . . .

[Cl1mh4224rd]

Some of the strangest characters:

Nancy Liedner
Killtown
Don Bradley
Tom Bearden
Gene Ray
Gaiacomm (Jubal Ben Hur)
Professor Joe Vee
"crazy" Larry Larson
Cliff Carnicom

on and on and on . . .


Just a nitpick, but it's Nancy Lieder (no 'n' in the last name). She's definitely a piece of work.

[SpitfireIX]

Actually all CTs are stupid. The challenge is to figure out just how nutty a CTer can be before they get locked up.

Some of the strangest characters:

Nancy Liedner
Killtown
Don Bradley
Tom Bearden
Gene Ray
Gaiacomm (Jubal Ben Hur)
Professor Joe Vee
"crazy" Larry Larson
Cliff Carnicom

on and on and on . . .


Erm, you forgot David Icke. :eek:

[Walter Ego]

Just a nitpick, but it's Nancy Lieder (no 'n' in the last name). She's definitely a piece of work.

New! (May 12, 2003)

Nancy Lieder has lied about me to try to make me look bad. I don't think it'll work though. :-)

Ms. Lieder runs the website ZetaTalk, where you can find her story in detail (though perhaps not in complete detail; many interesting aspects of her history appear to be missing). She claims to be channeling aliens, called "Zetans" (short for Zeta Reticulans, aliens from the star Zeta Reticuli). These aliens are telling her that a large planet will sweep by the Earth next year, flipping the Earth's axis and killing about 90% of the human population.

http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/planetx/lieder.html

:jaw-dropp I'm glad we avoided that one!

[Cl1mh4224rd]

:jaw-dropp I'm glad we avoided that one!


She had also apparently, some years ago, drown her dogs in a local lake in preparation for the coming of Planet X, because they would consume precious food. One of the dogs was, I believe, 18 months old. Sick. :mad: :(

[PhantomWolf]

I have had debates with both Nancy and her protégé, Grant.

Nancy is clinically insane, there is no other way to put it, she is in need of mental health treatment.

Grant is deluded and quite irrational, but in his case I think it is more based on what seems to be a total lack of science training and a narcissistic ego rather than an actual mental illness.

[Dr Adequate]

There was one recently about the US Secretary of the Treasury (IIRC) being killed and replaced with a hologram.

[aggle-rithm]

No one has mentioned "the earth is hollow and filled with reptilians controlling our every action".

Is this no longer on the list because it's finally been confirmed?

I KNEW it!

[MarkCorrigan]

There was one recently about the US Secretary of the Treasury (IIRC) being killed and replaced with a hologram.

I like this one, because not only does it sound ridiculous as a concept, you have to wonder

1. Why? What could this POSSIBLY achieve?

2. How, exactly, does the hologram continue to talk without simply repeating the previously used phrases of the former incumbent?

Unless they think Red Dwarf was a documentary, at any rate.

[aggle-rithm]

There was one recently about the US Secretary of the Treasury (IIRC) being killed and replaced with a hologram.

Reporter #1: Do you notice something strange about the Secretary?

Reporter #2: Like what?

Reporter #1: Well, he keeps cutting in and out. And he's monochromatic. Oh, and you can see objects on the other side of him.

Reporter #2: Hmmm... no, I think he's always been like that.

Reporter #1: Oh... never mind.

[Pato2747]

I'll post a link when I actually find it, but I have read that a guy FIRMLY believed that the Government was trying to poison the food to give Alzheimer to the people, making a New World Order even more easy for the global elite.

He goes on saying "Pimples didn't exist 40-50 years ago". That makes me wonder why my grandma used to tell me when I was a little kid that I'll be filled with pimples on my face because she and my mother had them (Good for me, I only had one or two in my face).

[Belz...]

The last one is New Chronology, which is my personal favorite. I am secretly working on a Zeitgeist satire that focuses its first part on the New Chronology. Fomenko is the best person for that, a brilliant Mathematician, but a weird historian.

Woah. That's really crazy. He assumes that every civilization on the planet has falsified its own history ?

[Myron Proudfoot]

That there were two Oswalds, Lee Oswald and Harvey Oswald. BTW, I think 911Twoof Guru DRG believes this one. :boggled:

[dudalb]

The last one is New Chronology, which is my personal favorite. I am secretly working on a Zeitgeist satire that focuses its first part on the New Chronology. Fomenko is the best person for that, a brilliant Mathematician, but a weird historian.

And notice how The New Chronology makes Mother Russia the source of nearly all civilization. No wonder Formenko has a strong following among the extreme Russian Nationalists.
The New Chronology is a favorite of mine also. If you want a few laughs, go to wikipedia to the discussion group on The New Chronology,and read some of the defenses of it.

[dudalb]

But David Icke's "Queen Elizabeth 2 and just about every other world leader,including BoxCar Willie, is a shape shifitng Reptilian Alien" takes the cake of sheer looniness.
What is amusing is that some of Icke's defenders try to prove he is only saying this as allegory, despite all the evidence that the poor shmuck actually beleives his own crapola.
It is a good example of the Conspiracy Theorists mindset that some of them try to defend Icke rather then just says he's nuts ,because some CTers cannot admit that there is such a thing as a crazy Conspiracy Theorists.
The Recently published "Conspiracy Theories and Secret Societies For Dummies" has as one of it's List lf Tens, the Ten looniest conspiracy thories.
It also has a great description of the whole Denver Airport conspiracy kookiness.

[Minadin]

My favorite one to date was the one where some illuminati elite were going to move underground with only a couple hundred thousand of the world's population while everyone on the surface died to some sort of disaster or series thereof. Then, they would move (in spaceships?) to a terraformed Titan at some later point after they had turned Saturn into a second sun by shooting nukes at it.

I'll have to look for a link on that one.

ETA: http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?postid=2570973#post2570973

[thebestodb]

This thread is weak if you aren't even going to hit the big daddy of them all.
Tiamat is definitely the weirdest story I've ever heard.

[dudalb]

The last one is New Chronology, which is my personal favorite. I am secretly working on a Zeitgeist satire that focuses its first part on the New Chronology. Fomenko is the best person for that, a brilliant Mathematician, but a weird historian.


Not quite true. Illig's "phantom time " theory, although certainly complete and total nonsense, is not quite as insane as the Formenko "New Chronology".
Formenko seems to have swiped the basics of Illig's crackpot theory, and took it from run of the mill crackpottery to true insanity,with a huge dose of Extreme Russian Nationalism thrown in.

[Minadin]

Tiamat the dragon?

[dudalb]

This thread is weak if you aren't even going to hit the big daddy of them all.
Tiamat is definitely the weirdest story I've ever heard.

This is about kook conspiracy theories ,not wierd stories in general.
And Tiamat is not any wiereder then a lot of mythology.

[thebestodb]

mythology? It's not mythology. We can disprove obsolete God's. We can't disprove the origin of the asteroid belt. Therefore I would have to say that Tiamat has a lot of conspiratorial aspects of it because it has an alternate view of history. Isn't that what a conspiracy theory is supposed to be?

[Confuseling]

Alexander Abian (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alexander_Abian) is one of the oddest people around, although it doesn't really count as conspiracy mongering - except in so far as nobody listens.

[just clarifying - he's dead now]

[sts60]

mythology? It's not mythology. We can disprove obsolete God's. We can't disprove the origin of the asteroid belt. Therefore I would have to say that Tiamat has a lot of conspiratorial aspects of it because it has an alternate view of history. Isn't that what a conspiracy theory is supposed to be?
But we have pretty good explanations for the origin of the asteroid belt. The Nibiru/Tiamat/Planet X thing isn't any sort of reasonable alternative; it doesn't even rise to the level of needing "disproving". I also think, unless you think there's a conspiracy to suppress this silliness, that it's not really a conspiracy theory... just bad science and bad anthropology.

Now, for a really weird conspiracy theory, there's a fellow (Rusty Lander, aka Lazarusty) on apollohoax who believes the story (don't know its origin) that there are 100,000 Chinese troops living underneath New York City, waiting to erupt from their underground lair and take over (presumably some NWO-ish deal). He cited this several years ago. Recently, I asked him how long he'd hang on to this belief; his reply - "until they emerge!" So I give him props for honesty, if not for a very firm grip on reality.

[dudalb]

mythology? It's not mythology. We can disprove obsolete God's. We can't disprove the origin of the asteroid belt. Therefore I would have to say that Tiamat has a lot of conspiratorial aspects of it because it has an alternate view of history. Isn't that what a conspiracy theory is supposed to be?

"Alternate theory" and "Conspiracy Theory" are NOT synonoums.

[thebestodb]

You seem to be thinking of planetary collisions. I'm talking about it being a conspiracy that it was blown the **** up, and then the moon was turned into a stargate. I'm sorry for not clarrifying which conspiracy I was talking about. This thread is for weird conspiracies and that certainly is one.

[Calcas]

A lot of these are just "kook" CT's believed only by their creator and perhaps a handful of others.

But, the one that baffles me seems to have plenty of "believers."

Chemtrails.

[defaultdotxbe]

mythology? It's not mythology. We can disprove obsolete God's. We can't disprove the origin of the asteroid belt. Therefore I would have to say that Tiamat has a lot of conspiratorial aspects of it because it has an alternate view of history. Isn't that what a conspiracy theory is supposed to be?
maybe im just showing my age but shouldnt a conspiracy theory involve some sort of conspiracy?


now, maybe if the worlds scientists were in league with the remaining annunaki to cover up the existence of nibiru for some nefarious purpose, then youd be on to something

[dudalb]

You seem to be thinking of planetary collisions. I'm talking about it being a conspiracy that it was blown the **** up, and then the moon was turned into a stargate. I'm sorry for not clarrifying which conspiracy I was talking about. This thread is for weird conspiracies and that certainly is one.


Please show me the conspiracy.

[Confuseling]

The distinction does blur, doesn't it.

Even the flat Earthers believe there's a conspiracy. There has to be - otherwise we'd all be aware that the Earth's flat.

[defaultdotxbe]

The distinction does blur, doesn't it.

Even the flat Earthers believe there's a conspiracy. There has to be - otherwise we'd all be aware that the Earth's flat.
yeah, you need the insanity to have a crazy theory, the arrogance to think you're right in the face of overwhelming evidence to the contrary, the suspicion to think the evidence must have been fabricated and the paranoia to think anyone disagreeing with you must be in on it

[Sword_Of_Truth]

In before some dumbass troofer who thinks he's funny says "I like the one where 19 cave dwelling arabs evade the worlds biggest airforce and cause three buildings to collapse at free fall speed". :p

[defaultdotxbe]

In before some dumbass troofer who thinks he's funny says "I like the one where 19 cave dwelling arabs evade the worlds biggest airforce and cause three buildings to collapse at free fall speed". :p
too late, lastchild already posted it in the "favorite CTs" thread

[Sword_Of_Truth]

too late, lastchild already posted it in the "favorite CTs" thread

I know. I was trying to intercept them from polluting this thread with that stale, over-used "joke" as well.

[dudalb]

In before some dumbass troofer who thinks he's funny says "I like the one where 19 cave dwelling arabs evade the worlds biggest airforce and cause three buildings to collapse at free fall speed". :p

That's a PreEmptive Strike!
Proof that you are a member of the NWO!

[gtc]

But David Icke's "Queen Elizabeth 2 and just about every other world leader,including BoxCar Willie, is a shape shifitng Reptilian Alien" takes the cake of sheer looniness.

I read somewhere that it took Jewish groups a while to realise that he was serious and not just using 'shape-shifting reptillian aliens' as code for 'Jews'.

[Pope130]

My favorite is not so much a theory in it's self, as a portion of a theory. That is: who was behind the Kennedy Assassination?

There's the usual suspects, Castro; the CIA, the Mafia, the Russians, the KKK. Then there's the stranger ones; the Vatican (because the Pope was no longer the most important Catholic), Protestant Irish (because JFK was going to force the Brits out of Northern Ireland), Catholic Irish (because JFK wasn't going to force the Brits out of Ireland), President Diem's family (revenge), Pro-Castro Cubans (revenge for the Bay of Pigs), Anti-Castro Cubans (revenge for the Bay of Pigs), Mercenaries (revenge for the Bay of Pigs), Big Oil/Steel/Aircraft Manufacturers/Ship Builders/Gun Makers (because JFK was going to pull US forces out of Vietnam), Chinese Communists (because JFK was going to send more US forces into Vietnam), the Aliens (because he was going to blow the lid off Roswell), and it goes on.

Robert Klaus

[Metullus]

My favorite is not so much a theory in it's self, as a portion of a theory. That is: who was behind the Kennedy Assassination?

There's the usual suspects, Castro; the CIA, the Mafia, the Russians, the KKK. Then there's the stranger ones; the Vatican (because the Pope was no longer the most important Catholic), Protestant Irish (because JFK was going to force the Brits out of Northern Ireland), Catholic Irish (because JFK wasn't going to force the Brits out of Ireland), President Diem's family (revenge), Pro-Castro Cubans (revenge for the Bay of Pigs), Anti-Castro Cubans (revenge for the Bay of Pigs), Mercenaries (revenge for the Bay of Pigs), Big Oil/Steel/Aircraft Manufacturers/Ship Builders/Gun Makers (because JFK was going to pull US forces out of Vietnam), Chinese Communists (because JFK was going to send more US forces into Vietnam), the Aliens (because he was going to blow the lid off Roswell), and it goes on.

Robert KlausSounds like a coalition right out of Thieves World....

[dudalb]

I read somewhere that it took Jewish groups a while to realise that he was serious and not just using 'shape-shifting reptillian aliens' as code for 'Jews'.

True, althnough Icke has made other statements that would indicate he has quite a problem with Jews in general.....

[Myron Proudfoot]

I guess the famous "Time Cube" doesn't count as a conspiracy theory. Too Bad. Very entertaining.

As a working historian one of my "serious" favs is the "16th Amendment wasn't ratified" CT.

[dudalb]

I guess the famous "Time Cube" doesn't count as a conspiracy theory. Too Bad. Very entertaining.

As a working historian one of my "serious" favs is the "16th Amendment wasn't ratified" CT.


That's a good one.
But I would say the Holocaust Deniers and the Neo Confederates are the bottom dwellers of the Historical world.
And for sheer looniness that "New Chronology" beats the 16th Amendment kooks for sheer craziness.

[MarkCorrigan]

There was one recently about the US Secretary of the Treasury (IIRC) being killed and replaced with a hologram.

This (http://educate-yourself.org/pnl/paulsonshotandbankstocks14jan08.shtml) insane (http://educate-yourself.org/cn/henrypaulsonshootingdeathcoverup11jan08.shtml) drivel is apparently a conspiracy theory brought to you by the "Shapeshifting reptilian Illuminati rules the world AND has human cloning" party.

It's actually pathetic.

[gumboot]

I guess the famous "Time Cube" doesn't count as a conspiracy theory. Too Bad. Very entertaining.


Evil Educators induce major
ignorance into education that
is fatal to human existence on
Earth. Education actually
destroys the analytial Brain,
leaving only a single brain
perspective android servility.
Educators who suppress the
Harmonic Time Cube 4 Day
4 corner Earth simultaneous
rotation deserve hanging, for
ONEism threatens humanity.

Sounds like a conspiracy to me...

(I listed it as my favourite conspiracy theory in the other thread)

[HeyLeroy]

Elton John totally copied REO Speedwagon (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=15814)

[Beerina]

Some of the strangest characters:

...
Gene Ray
...

on and on and on . . .


I liked Joker's Wild. What's wrong with that?










Oh, wait. I thought you said Gene Rayburn. n/m

[defaultdotxbe]

not a conspiracy per se, but i heard a few years ago that neil peart is an alien all those rush songs like 2112 are describing his homeworld


also, his alien physiology has extra appendages, which account for his insane drumming ability