Jesus O Jesus

[Abdul Alhazred]

Here's a hymn I wrote:
<blockquote>
Jesus O Jesus, He hungers for your soul!
Jesus gentle Jesus, He's swallowing it whole!
Jesus O Jesus, He wants my soul as well!
If He can't have His way with you,
He'll send your soul to Hell!


Jesus O Jesus, our shepherd and our Lord!
Jesus gentle Jesus, who came to bring a sword!
Jesus O Jesus, He wants you in his fold!
If He can't have His way with you,
To Hell He'll send your soul!


Jesus O Jesus, He shed His blood for you!
Jesus gentle Jesus, and you must drink it, too!
Jesus O Jesus, the one and only friend!
If He can't have His way with you,
To Hell your soul He'll send!
</blockquote>
Pretty good, huh? Of course as the Mad Arab, I know that Cthulhu hungers for your soul, but I want to be fair and give some play to the competition. :p

[TwoShanks]

If He can't have His way with you,
He'll sent your soul to Hell!

Can't say I like the sound of that at all... Surely this breaks some sort of sexual harassment law?

[espritch]

Pretty good, huh? Of course as the Mad Arab, I know that Cthulhu hungers for your soul, but I want to be fair and give some play to the competition.

Well, in all fairness, I must point out that Jesus actually wants his followers to eat him ("Take. Eat. This is my body which is broken for you.") rather than wanting to eat his followers. He's sort of the anti-Cthulhu.

Still, I rather liked the hymn. Very catchy! :D

[!Xx+-Rational-+xX!]

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred
Here's a hymn I wrote:
<blockquote>
Jesus O Jesus, He hungers for your soul!
Jesus gentle Jesus, He's swallowing it whole!
Jesus O Jesus, He wants my soul as well!
If He can't have His way with you,
He'll send your soul to Hell!


Jesus O Jesus, our shepherd and our Lord!
Jesus gentle Jesus, who came to bring a sword!
Jesus O Jesus, He wants you in his fold!
If He can't have His way with you,
To Hell He'll send your soul!


Jesus O Jesus, He shed His blood for you!
Jesus gentle Jesus, and you must drink it, too!
Jesus O Jesus, the one and only friend!
If He can't have His way with you,
To Hell your soul He'll send!
</blockquote>
Pretty good, huh? Of course as the Mad Arab, I know that Cthulhu hungers for your soul, but I want to be fair and give some play to the competition. :p

We have 2 options here.

1. We could discuss this poem.
2. We could all read whipped magazine!

What will you choose?

http://www.student.smsu.edu/s/san232s/hardfunnypics/whipppedmagazine.jpg

[Yahweh]

Abdul, I think this article (http://www.necronomi.com/projects/amor/) will really put the notion of God's love in perspective for you.

:D

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by Yahweh
Abdul, I think this article (http://www.necronomi.com/projects/amor/) will really put the notion of God's love in perspective for you.

:D

Great link. Not bad for a kid who uses Jesus' alleged daddy as an alias.

Have you ever read the classic sermon SINNERS IN THE HANDS OF AN ANGRY GOD (http://www.jonathanedwards.com/sermons/Warnings/sinners.htm) by Jonathan Edwards? This is an important part of American history. This is an important part of your cultural education.

Click the link, buddy, and read the whole thing! :D

Sample:

The God that holds you over the pit of hell, much as one holds a spider, or some loathsome insect over the fire, abhors you, and is dreadfully provoked: his wrath towards you burns like fire; he looks upon you as worthy of nothing else, but to be cast into the fire; he is of purer eyes than to bear to have you in his sight; you are ten thousand times more abominable in his eyes, than the most hateful venomous serpent is in ours.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by TwoShanks
If He can't have His way with you,
He'll sent your soul to Hell!

Can't say I like the sound of that at all... Surely this breaks some sort of sexual harassment law?


OK. No argument. I suggest you hire a lawyer and sue Jesus. I merely report the news, I don't make it. :p

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by espritch


Well, in all fairness, I must point out that Jesus actually wants his followers to eat him ("Take. Eat. This is my body which is broken for you.") rather than wanting to eat his followers. He's sort of the anti-Cthulhu.

Still, I rather liked the hymn. Very catchy! :D


He shed his blood for you and you must drink it, too.


See? I covered that.

You have to give your soul to Jesus, or else Cthulhu will grab it and do really bad things to it. No heaven for you, pal!

And never mind about the 137 virgins (or whatever it is) that Muhammad promised you. That's just false advertising.

The Buddhist nirvana is best: eternal non-existence. That's what you so-called Brights say happens to us all anyway.

Don't let Cthulhu hear you say that.

Cthulhu doesn't like human sweetie-pie cutesy-poo religion. In that way, he is similar to you so-called Brights.

What he does like is being propitiated.

If your morality is not above religion, be prepared to do many vile things.

Folks should stop going to regular church and worship a god what brings 'em fish!

If you think I'm just ranting and raving, click here (http://www.gizmology.net/lovecraft/) and explore.

[calladus]

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred
Here's a hymn I wrote:
. . .
Pretty good, huh?

Yes! A good response to the Xtian drivel I get emailed.

What kind of copyrights do you hold here? Am I allowed to copy and paste into email if I credit you?

Thx!