School Bomb Plotter Wanted To Kill Jesus

[The Central Scrutinizer]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/29/teen.charged.ap/index.html

FLORENCE, South Carolina (AP) -- A teen accused of plotting to blow up his high school told police that he wanted to die, go to heaven and kill Jesus, federal authorities said Tuesday.Ummm.....Oh....kay... :boggled:

Prosecutors argued in a federal courtroom that the statements are an indication that 18-year-old Ryan Schallenberger needs a psychological evaluation. Gee, ya think?

[Pauliesonne]

The word " original " doesn't even come close.

[Pardalis]

Do they have metal detectors in heaven?

Wouldn't Jesus just return to heaven once he's dead, which he already was?

Wouldn't god already know about his plan since he knows everything?

So many questions...

[timhau]

Wouldn't Jesus just return to heaven once he's dead, which he already was?


But where does he go for those traditional three days? Walhalla?

[LostAngeles]

This kid wins Crazy.

Frankly, I blame the video game Xenogears. I mean, I killed God and now I'm at UCLA. Imagine what this kid would have accomplished after actually killing God.

The final boss (that you can lose to) in Xenogears (http://xenosaga.wikia.com/wiki/Deus)

[Foolmewunz]

The word " original " doesn't even come close.

Yep, I think we just disproved one of my favorite Elvis Costello puns of all times.... " 'Cuz there's no such thing as an original sin."

[The Central Scrutinizer]

But where does he go for those traditional three days? Walhalla?

Does that mean we would get an extra Easter holiday each year?

[Damien Evans]

That's one of the most original, and nuttiest, reasons to commit murder I've ever heard.

[Amapola]

Ok, so he blows up the high school, dies, and then goes to _heaven_? Talk about getting your myths mixed up.

And why go after Jesus? Why not just go for the big guy?

[X]

Well, I can honestly say that's not something I ever expected to hear even in my wildest imaginings...

The cliche is true: Truth is stranger than fiction.

I hope he gets the help he needs.

[kittynh]

Poor kid is nuts.

But, in such a twisted way....I think we should put "House" on the case.

The only thing is that he's SO nuts, there is great hope a good medication can help him.

I see him years from now saying "I was so NUTS I thought I could kill Jesus!"

[Gravy]

Don't put the kid in jail. Hire him to write for South Park.

[Darth Rotor]

School Bomb Plotter Wanted To Kill Jesus
Was he taking a Pilates class at the time?

[timhau]

Nuts or not, you have to congratulate the guy on his understanding of Christian ethics. His plan was to bomb a bunch of people to smithereens, secure in the knowledge that he'll still go to Heaven because he believes in Jeebus.

[Gravy]

Nuts or not, you have to congratulate the guy on his understanding of Christian ethics. His plan was to bomb a bunch of people to smithereens, secure in the knowledge that he'll still go to Heaven because he believes in Jeebus.I've always had the impression that in order to be saved you had to accept Jesus as your personal savior, not your personal nemesis.:eek:

[Crazycowbob]

I've always had the impression that in order to be saved you had to accept Jesus as your personal savior, not your personal nemesis.:eek:

Maybe there was a missprint in his bible?

[Gate2501]

This kid wins Crazy.

Frankly, I blame the video game Xenogears. I mean, I killed God and now I'm at UCLA. Imagine what this kid would have accomplished after actually killing God.

The final boss (that you can lose to) in Xenogears (http://xenosaga.wikia.com/wiki/Deus)

I was so ******* angry that I had to fight the last boss in my mechs instead of on foot!

I worked extremely hard leveling those little buggers, but the robots were capped by what attachments ( I forget if thats what they were called ) you could put on them.

[Drudgewire]

This kid wins Crazy.

Frankly, I blame the video game Xenogears. I mean, I killed God and now I'm at UCLA. Imagine what this kid would have accomplished after actually killing God.

The final boss (that you can lose to) in Xenogears (http://xenosaga.wikia.com/wiki/Deus)


Way to ruin the point I was about to make about how you don't kill Jesus in any of the Grand Theft Auto games. http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/fist4su.gif

[Gate2501]

Way to ruin the point I was about to make about how you don't kill Jesus in any of the Grand Theft Auto games. http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/fist4su.gif

I just got GTA4 yesterday, I will keep you updated as to if I have an opportunity to slay Jesus.

[Drudgewire]

I just got GTA4 yesterday, I will keep you updated as to if I have an opportunity to slay Jesus.

I've been playing for hours. So far I haven't even seen the ability to kill a nun.


:mad:

[WildCat]

Too late, someone from Pawtucket is already charged in the killing of Jesus (http://www.projo.com/ri/cranston/content/wb_robbery_plea_04-30-08_UI9V26J_v37.380b10e.html).

[JimBenArm]

Too late, someone from Pawtucket is already charged in the killing of Jesus (http://www.projo.com/ri/cranston/content/wb_robbery_plea_04-30-08_UI9V26J_v37.380b10e.html).
Great! Now how am I going to get my leprosy healed?

[timhau]

I've always had the impression that in order to be saved you had to accept Jesus as your personal savior, not your personal nemesis.:eek:

Who says you can't kill your personal savior? And as for Jesus, sorry, it's an occupational hazard. And your dad knew it was coming.

[timhau]

Great! Now how am I going to get my leprosy healed?

I have no idea, and I don't want you within 20 feet of my dip sauce.

[Drudgewire]

Who says you can't kill your personal savior?

As an ordained minister in the church of the SubGenius, we REQUIRE it. Even follow the demand to "Kill Bob" with "again and again." :cool:

[Aoidoi]

Well, last time somebody killed Jesus it forgave all our sins, what happens if the kid manages to do do it again? Are we doubly forgiven? Or unforgiven?

[Achán hiNidráne]

Religionists blaming atheists for this psycho kid's plot in 5...4...3...2...1....

[Darth Rotor]

Religionists blaming atheists for this psycho kid's plot in 5...4...3...2...1....
Why would someone do that?

[LostAngeles]

Was he taking a Pilates class at the time?

I don't get it and because my ass is currently in West L.A., I need to get this joke.

[Aoidoi]

I don't get it and because my ass is currently in West L.A., I need to get this joke.I'm thinking of starting up a Pontius Pilates class for people who pass the buck, any takers?

[LostAngeles]

I was so ******* angry that I had to fight the last boss in my mechs instead of on foot!

I worked extremely hard leveling those little buggers, but the robots were capped by what attachments ( I forget if thats what they were called ) you could put on them.

I thought character level did affect the gears somewhat.

OK, but seriously?

I know it's a JRPG, but you're going up against a planet-sized interplanetary weapon and you're expecting to fight it on foot when in every battle in the game against a giant enemy you get in the giant robots?

ARE YOU ON DOPE? :D

Way to ruin the point I was about to make about how you don't kill Jesus in any of the Grand Theft Auto games. http://www.lethalwrestling.com/upload/fist4su.gif

HA! I win!

[Darth Rotor]

I don't get it and because my ass is currently in West L.A., I need to get this joke.

Pilate was the one who killed Jesus (NT version of history)

If he's been in a Pilates class (oh so clever pun) maybe he was learning how to act like a Pilate, and kill Jesus.

Yeah, explaining a joke does kill it, but perhaps it wasn't such a good joke in the first place. They can't all be gems.

DR

[Foolmewunz]

Pilate was the one who killed Jesus (NT version of history)

If he's been in a Pilates class (oh so clever pun) maybe he was learning how to act like a Pilate, and kill Jesus.

Yeah, explaining a joke does kill it, but perhaps it wasn't such a good joke in the first place. They can't all be gems.

DR

Now, now, Darth. I thought it was a fine joke. I live for puns and I was actually surprised at there being no "Groan!" reaction.... but you know dem kids... what with their whatchercall video tube games and such. They just don't get word play like they used to.

[Drudgewire]

HA! I win!


ONLY THIS ROUND PICKLES!! :mad:

[slingblade]

Was he taking a Pilates class at the time?

This has nothing to do with anything, but I was scrolling when your post rolled past, and I swore it said "Pirates class."

Yo-ho, yo-ho, a pirate class for me! :) I'd sign up.

[Silentknight]

I can just imagine this kid being inadvertently awarded the 72 virgins had he actually succeeded. Yeah, good luck prying himself away from them in order to carry out the rest of his plot. He'd probably forget all about killing Jesus before long. :D

[LostAngeles]

Pilate was the one who killed Jesus (NT version of history)

If he's been in a Pilates class (oh so clever pun) maybe he was learning how to act like a Pilate, and kill Jesus.

Yeah, explaining a joke does kill it, but perhaps it wasn't such a good joke in the first place. They can't all be gems.

DR

OH.

Y'know if I'd said it aloud, maybe I'd have gotten it.

It's a good one!

[vIQleS]

One thing I'd like to know is why he wanted to kill Jesus. I mean specifically - in his case...

[LostAngeles]

One thing I'd like to know is why he wanted to kill Jesus. I mean specifically - in his case...

Because Jesus was a smelly hippie and those unwashed lunatics are a threat to this great Christian nation.

[Darth Rotor]

Because Jesus was a smelly hippie and those unwashed lunatics are a threat to this great Christian nation.
Or, he wanted to be famous, infamous, or both.

The pursuit of fame seems to be an epidemic among a substantial portion of the population.

Or, he's simply lost in a haze of confusion.

DR

[Darat]

Or both.

Notice how "infamous" has dropped from current use? Read an article yesterday that discussed the "most famous serial killer" - apparently only being famous matters, whether you came to attention for good or bad who cares - YOU'RE FAMOUS!

[Beerina]

School Bomb Plotter Wanted To Kill Jesus

Well, he can't be all bad.

:duck:



Actually, if God exists, then killing Jesus is part of His plan, right? Also, since Jesus is God, killing Jesus really doesn't do much.

If humans really wanted to piss off God, they should protect Jesus from assassination.

Unless it was after his second coming, in which case it would be funny to launch an atom bomb at him and see if he's indestructible.


That would be hillarious to watch 100 megaton bomb completely incinerate an entire city full of millions of people gathered around him, then when the dust clears, Jesus is standing there in the middle of a 19 mile wide crater.

Or maybe he'd be in some other state or orbit after being blown there.

I'll bet that would be fun, to be the Second Coming Jesus and sit on a hydrogen bomb and go for a ride when it detonates.


Ooooh! We should make a cobalt bomb and completely destroy the Earth so Jesus and God can hang out with a ruined world...which they knew would eventually happen.



OMG I just thought of something. If and when Jesus next comes, we should do just that. Imagine the idiocy of God and Jesus sitting around laughing after the Earth and all humans are destroyed, knowing the whole multi-billion year exercise was doomed, but going through the motions anyway, just for the hell of it.

We can control this destiny! Who's with me, fellas?

[Major Major]

http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/04/29/teen.charged.ap/index.html

Ummm.....Oh....kay... :boggled:

Gee, ya think?

Victor Koman, call your lawyer:
The Jehovah Contract by Victor Koman features the thrilling story of Dell Ammo, a professional hitman who takes on the ultimate contract . . . killing God.
:blackcat: