The Rapture May Have Happend.

[Orangutan]

Well there have been No posts on Fundies Say The Darnedest Things since 2008-Apr-29.

So I figure all the fundies have left.

(I can dream can't I?)
;)

[fromdownunder]

I was just reading the May 1 posts. So your dream is premature.

Norm

[Orangutan]

Awwwww,

Plus I forgot it was May. :(

[Beerina]

Ahh, it's not so different now. I am still puzzled, though, why God rewards people who help the sick and poor and refuse to steal and beat and kill people by placing them in a place where all those qualities are pointless due to the immortality of the post-rapture/resurrection bodies.

Surely that should be done immediately, to everybody, so we can start having fun pushing each other off cliffs and stuff.

[I Ratant]

It did, but waaay long ago. 1000s of years, in fact.
Justabuncha of us sinners left, as predicted.

[triadboy]

When the Rapture happens - won't we see lots of underwear with skid marks laying around on the ground?

That'll be my first clue.

[Ichneumonwasp]

Hi, my name is Ichneumonwasp and I have been sin-free for 20 minutes. Wait, do lies count?

I don't think I'm even going to get to step two.

[Tiktaalik]

If the rapturables really cared about the sinners of the earth, they'd go ahead & get themselves raptured up & solve anthropogenic global warming & worldwide starvation...

[MattusMaximus]

DAMN! I missed it!

And I was planning to sell T-shirts... :mad:

[slingblade]

Nope. Hasn't. My brother is still here; just spoke to him yesterday. :D

[Wolfman]

Back in my Christian days, I knew people who really did believe that the rapture had really happened. They claimed that there had been 144,000 Christians from around the world who had disappeared shortly after WW II, and that their disappearances were covered up by atheistic world governments in order to hide the truth.

One of my favorite debates in Bible College was pre-tribulation vs. post-tribulation rapture. Pre-tribbers argued that the rapture would happen before the Tribulation, so only non-Christians would be subject to suffering (and it would give them a chance to convert to Christianity before the final judgement); post-tribbers argued that the tribulation would happen after the Tribulation, so all Christians would suffer, but then go to Heaven before the final Judgement.

One of my fonder variations on this theme was a small group of post-tribbers who felt that, rather than the popular concept of the Rapture as Christians being taken away and leaving the heathens behind, that it actually would work the other way around...that it would be the heathens who would be taken away, and the Christians who would be left. This was based on the argument (which is as logical as any argument related to such things) that the Bible says something to the effect (sorry, can't be bothered to look up the specific quote) that, "Just as in the days of Noah, so God shall cleanse the earth". They point out that in the days of Noah, God cleansed the earth not of his followers, but of those who had turned from him.

My parents are firm pre-tribbers, and are patiently awaiting the day (which they assure me will come any day now) when they'll be taken up into Heaven. My mother has even written me a letter, and sealed it in an envelope, which should be given to me and read after she is raptured (presumably telling me how to survive the Tribulation and return to the One True Path in order to avoid Eternal Suffering in the Pits of Hell).

[RobRoy]

My parents are firm pre-tribbers, and are patiently awaiting the day (which they assure me will come any day now) when they'll be taken up into Heaven. My mother has even written me a letter, and sealed it in an envelope, which should be given to me and read after she is raptured (presumably telling me how to survive the Tribulation and return to the One True Path in order to avoid Eternal Suffering in the Pits of Hell).

Ahhh, how fun. I dated a girl whose entire church was convinced that the Rapture would happen before the year 2000. Remember all the fun that arbitrary date-change created. Ahhh, good times. I believe that was the first time that I truly sat down to read Revelations, and found it akin to some kind of drug trip.

Now, for full disclosure here, I haven't talked to said ex in many years, so it's entirely possible that she and all her brethren have been taken up as they believed. But if that were to happen, I'm certain she would find a way to thumb it in my face. She was that kind of a girlfriend.

[Moochie]

Back in my Christian days, I knew people who really did believe that the rapture had really happened. They claimed that there had been 144,000 Christians from around the world who had disappeared shortly after WW II, and that their disappearances were covered up by atheistic world governments in order to hide the truth.

One of my favorite debates in Bible College was pre-tribulation vs. post-tribulation rapture. Pre-tribbers argued that the rapture would happen before the Tribulation, so only non-Christians would be subject to suffering (and it would give them a chance to convert to Christianity before the final judgement); post-tribbers argued that the tribulation would happen after the Tribulation, so all Christians would suffer, but then go to Heaven before the final Judgement.

One of my fonder variations on this theme was a small group of post-tribbers who felt that, rather than the popular concept of the Rapture as Christians being taken away and leaving the heathens behind, that it actually would work the other way around...that it would be the heathens who would be taken away, and the Christians who would be left. This was based on the argument (which is as logical as any argument related to such things) that the Bible says something to the effect (sorry, can't be bothered to look up the specific quote) that, "Just as in the days of Noah, so God shall cleanse the earth". They point out that in the days of Noah, God cleansed the earth not of his followers, but of those who had turned from him.

My parents are firm pre-tribbers, and are patiently awaiting the day (which they assure me will come any day now) when they'll be taken up into Heaven. My mother has even written me a letter, and sealed it in an envelope, which should be given to me and read after she is raptured (presumably telling me how to survive the Tribulation and return to the One True Path in order to avoid Eternal Suffering in the Pits of Hell).

I think there's enough here for a miniseries. :)

M.

[Pato2747]

Don't worry, the Lord's Witnesses (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=109048) say that the rapture will happen a month after their previous calculation, so there's no need to worry about it! The World is rapture-free until June! ;)

[Complexity]

They promised they'd leave.

[Darth Rotor]

Back in the early 80's I dated a gal from a local Baptist church who was very interested in the rapture.

I was happy to oblige. A few glasses of wine helped facilitate many a rapture. Bless her, she put the Fun into Fundy.

As things worked out, it didn't last, what with me going to sea and she being so rapturous.

So be it.

DR

[Diagoras]

Perhaps we need to convince the fundies that the Rapture actually consists of all fundamentalist Christians blasting off in a spaceship to...wherever Heaven is. Jupiter maybe.

[Madalch]

Would it be out of line to suggest that maybe we ought to try to convince them that to be lifted up to Heaven, they need to start by trusting in Jesus and jumping? Off a tall building?

[Safe-Keeper]

The Rapture May Have Happend.Sadly no. The fundies are still here:(.