Vote Again! May 2008 Stundies

[Unsecured Coins]

Vote again, because it is your civic duty

1 - Dictator Cheney and how to become an expert in ANY field

even chemists can be "experts" in tall building collapses aslong they folow the "official theory"


2 - Redibis putting the cart before the burning horse


Do you understand the difference between smoke and flames?


3 - deep44, just because pride goeth before the fall
Smart people also know how to spell "judgment".


4 - chek. I need not say more
The fluid formed by fine solids and heated gas occurs rarely - on the surface of the Earth, only volcanoes and totally destroyed World Trade Centres are known to cause it.

5 - Turbofan sneaks in
FIRE CANNOT WEAKEN STRUCTURAL STEEL

6 - SPreston - Plane, shovel... same thing
Through experimentation, I found out that no matter how hard or how fast I thrust my steel shovel into the soft dirt of my garden, not once was the shovel broken or disintegrated. Even when my pitcher nephew threw the shovel into the soft dirt from a raised platform at approximately 98.3 mph, the steel shovel still was never damaged.

7 - theauthor pens up a beauty

Judy Wood was never in a coma. Somebody on a another board did all manner of news searches and came up with nothing. A story like that would at least make local news. I don't beleive for a second she was in a coma. She was off on a nother CIA mission, and no i'm not joking.

8 - tthuhta on a theory to muffle the explosion sounds.


Can you wrap the explosives with mattresses to muffle the noise? I've been living near a place where rock was blown to crumbles. You clouldn't hear much anything in the air, you just felt your house shake


9 - Zaphod36 and what happened to Flight 93
Flight 93(?) probably was hit by a thermobaric weapon while airborne, low over the ground near Shanksville.

10 - Sanders points out that Floor 30 was the keystone
Seriously, how can it not be said that the 30th floor did not support the total weight of floors 31 through 110 all those years? Just as floor 29 held up the weight of floors 30 through 110, etc. etc.

[DGM]

Didn't we do this already?

[Unsecured Coins]

shut up and vote, lackey!!

[CptColumbo]

I had to go with SPreston. Throwing a shovel at 98.3 MPH. That kid is going to the Majors.

[DGM]

shut up and vote, lackey!!
OK, But I think someones chip is acting up.:D

[Pardalis]

It was hard to choose between the shovel, the coma and the mattresses, but I had to go with SPreston too, for the mental picture of him experimenting in his backyard...

[l0k0]

Didn't the shovel quote come from Killtown?

[theauthor]

Its a fix!

Erm I thought it was killtown throwing the shovel. Did someone muck up their research again?

[theauthor]

Oh well, at least I was right about jmd3100 and his nomination has been removed.

[Sword_Of_Truth]

I want to vote Redibis because the quote is retarded and he's been such a rectum about that issue.

But the shovel thing just buries the competition.

Ba-dum-bum, tish!

Thank you, thank you... no applause please. Just throw money. :D

[Donal]

I'm all about unintentional irony. Also, I think irony and hypocrisy are the foundations of the Twoof movement, so I went with deep44.

[GlennB]

Killtown seems to have morphed into SPreston.
Both make equally little sense so no loss there, but was a "cloaking device" involved ? :D

[Elizabeth I]

How can y'all pass up the mental image of the WTC wrapped in mattresses (to muffle the explosions) and everybody walking by without noticing anything unusual?

tthuhta all the way!

[Quad4_72]

That shovel thing is something else. Like an entirely different ballpark in another galaxy something else. Relating throwing a shovel into the ground and a plane hitting the world trade centers is the kind of quote that would get the entire human race killed by another alien planet for sheer stupidity.

[steve s]

I had to go with Chek and his volcano. Because even before 9/11, every geologist knew that the two sources for pyroclastic flows are volcanoes and skyscrapers.

Steve S.

[Travis]

Déjà vu?

No, wait, Déjà vote!

[The Silver Shadow]

I still think the shovel quote is gold!

[OldTigerCub]

Killtown seems to have morphed into SPreston.
Both make equally little sense so no loss there, but was a "cloaking device" involved ? :D

Same quote, same idiocy, different name...hmmmmm:rolleyes:

Edit: I still have to vote for theauthor. The idea that Judy Wood works for the CIA just cracks me up. :p

[Mel Odious]

Improvised Hush-a-Boom Devices all the way.

And a reprimand for our NWO explosives experts for not patenting their work.

[Silentknight]

Well, I missed the last few Stundie polls, since I usually don't hang out in the CT section, so I decided to check them out this month. I was going to vote for the mattress explosives one, due to the humorous imagery it conjures up of wrapping things in mattresses to muffle them, but that's when I went back and reread the shovel one. How you people manage to breathe in close proximity with these truthers after the stupidity has sucked all the oxygen out out of the room, I don't know. So in SAT analogy notation--

THROWN SHOVEL:LOOSE DIRT::FLOWN PLANE:CONCRETE BUILDING

But everyone knows the Pentagon is made out of cheese souffle, right? :D

[JamesB]

I dunno, I want to vote for the same guy. It is not my fault that he doesn't understand the proper use of sarcasm.

[Klimax]

It was hard to choose,but seeing as one was being voted all the time,so I took tthuhta... not that SPreston or chek deserve as well the honour.:)

It is a pity that it is not possible to have multiple choices,but then we could not award anybody since they would have same number of votes...:D

[mrbaracuda]

chek for me this time; shovel got old. :D

[Skeptic Ginger]

This one is hard. There are so many stunning answers.

The shovel experiment was funny but I couldn't help picturing some secret agents sneaking a bunch of mattresses into the trade towers to muffle the explosions. Made me LMAO. I voted for tt.

[gc051360]

Didn't the shovel quote come from Killtown?

Yeah. The shovel was from Killtown.

[defaultdotxbe]

Didn't the shovel quote come from Killtown?
Yeah. The shovel was from Killtown.
http://forums.randi.org/showpost.php?p=3771644&postcount=83

[Cobalt]

I have to go with the shovel. I did an experiment of my own. I read that quote and didn't actually lose all faith in mankind! A stunning .00004% remained!

Classic. In a bad way.

[HeyLeroy]

I HAD TO GO WITH TURBOFAN. THE EMPHATiC ALL-CAPS CONVINCED ME.

[Coffee]

I voted for number 8. I didn't know until this day that is was Sonny Corleone all along. Here's proof:


Peter Clemenza: Sonny is running wild. He's talking about going to the matresses already. You know any good spots on the west side?

Paulie Gatto: Yeah, I'll think about it.

Peter Clemenza: Well, think about it while you're driving, will ya? I wanna hit New York sometime this month.


Notice the connection: matresses, New york. No further evidence is needed. Case closed.

[Horatius]

Is it just me, or does this new poll make it look like SPreston is giving us all the finger?


Inside JoorB!

[Dumb All Over]

I believe I voted for jmd3100 the first time around. I've missed the reason why he/she was taken off the list. Can someone please point me to the thread or section that talks about this?

[LashL]

I believe I voted for jmd3100 the first time around. I've missed the reason why he/she was taken off the list. Can someone please point me to the thread or section that talks about this?

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?p=3771644#post3771644

[Blender Head]

I'm glad my nom made it, but that shovel quote is pretty worthy I think (Even if I voted for my own submission).

[Klimax]

These Stundies were shoveled.I mean shovel is speeding through them with speed being 98.3 mph.(What is that in km/h ?)

US can shovel Stundies off,since there is no chance in SP losing his shove...erm Stundie.









:D

[Cobalt]

98.3 mph = 158.198515 km/h

[Dumb All Over]

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?p=3771644#post3771644
Thank you, LashL.:)

[Sefarst]

I was tempted to vote the shovel one, but decided to vote mattresses. Both made me laugh pretty hard.

[Klimax]

98.3 mph = 158.198515 km/h

Thanks.
Now the shovel would be breaking speed limit on our highways...:D

[Dog Town]

Second verse same as the first! Shovel!!!!!
theauthor/D'oh P still has the recognition, of being the dumbest twoofer sock EVER!


Priceless!

[CptColumbo]

To be fair, SPreston does write that it was thrown "from a raised platform." Perhaps it was high enough that the shovel achieved that speed he indicated, regardless of his nephews pitching skills.

But it's still a retarded comparison.

[1337m4n]

To be fair, SPreston does write that it was thrown "from a raised platform." Perhaps it was high enough that the shovel achieved that speed he indicated, regardless of his nephews pitching skills.

But it's still a retarded comparison.

98.3 mph.

That'd be one heck of a "raised platform".

[Travis]

98.3 mph.

That'd be one heck of a "raised platform".

Well if it were hit by a DEW on the way down who knows what might have happened? Maybe it'd speed up? Maybe it'd suffer dustification? Maybe it'd collapse into a singularity? Maybe it'd morph into Porky Pig?

[defaultdotxbe]

98.3 mph.

That'd be one heck of a "raised platform".
doesnt erveryone have a 90 meter platform in their back yard?

[Klimax]

doesnt erveryone have a 90 meter platform in their back yard?

Is not out there article about shovel falling from high building?Then they really did the experiment,but then they would be possibly waiting for court as that shovel would be very dangerous... <:duck: change to the one with flying shovel >

And I would be very carefull when walking by the building they are in...


:D

P.S.:I think that similar speed can be found in Ice Hockey and tennis...

[CptColumbo]

98.3 mph.

That'd be one heck of a "raised platform".
I'm just trying to save that post, for some reason. The poster wasn't specific about how raised a platform it was, we're all assuming it wasn't very high.

While highly improbable that he/she has one high enough for a shovel to reach 98.3 MPH, its not impossible. :duck:

Although the poster did seem to indicate that the pitcher was providing the energy needed for it to reach that speed, and not gravity. Some "Twoofers" ignore the force of gravity, and don't seem to understand it (lest we forget that according to a past Stundie, air is required for gravity).

[LashL]

What? No award ceremony for SPreston?

[Unsecured Coins]

What? No award ceremony for SPreston?

sorry, I was busy on my latest masterpiece



http://forums.randi.org/imagehosting/12744460f418e6b3d3.gif



We are gathered here today to honor SPreston, who has brought a great amount of laughter into our lives. Through dedicated research SPreston has provided yet another example of an object denser than a singularity.

" Through experimentation, I found out that no matter how hard or how fast I thrust my steel shovel into the soft dirt of my garden, not once was the shovel broken or disintegrated. Even when my pitcher nephew threw the shovel into the soft dirt from a raised platform at approximately 98.3 mph, the steel shovel still was never damaged. "

We gather tonight to award The Stundie. The Stundie is the sister award to the Darwin: for those who refuse to remove themselves from the gene pool by accident, but will make it their lifetime goal to poison it.

We thank you, SPreston, and hope that you continue to post your comments on this or any other subject, using your gift for inadvertent comedy as a lesson to all of us here at the NWO.

To receive The Stundie is one of the most profound honours offered by the members of the JREF Conspiracy Theory Subforum, and one which in your case is well earned. Many attempt The Stundie, few attain it. You, SPreston, have marked yourself as one deserving such an award.



Congratulations and Mazel Tov!
L'Chayim!