We have troops WHERE now???

[Sabrina]

I couldn't make this up if I TRIED.

As many are aware, I work, more or less, for the government, in one of the intel agencies, but the area I'm in is the equivalent of human resources, so I end up doing a lot of customer service stuff. We have a main line that people can call, and we sometimes get some wacky calls (we've been mistaken for a clothing store and a Blockbuster in the past) but the one I got today takes the cake. And the pastries. And the donuts. And any other dessert you can think of.

This lady calls me on the customer service line, and our conversation went something like this:

Crazy lady: I want to report a security breach at NASA!

Me: *blinking in shock* I'm sorry, could you repeat that?

Crazy lady: I wanted to report a security breach at NASA! I've been calling all over the place to NASA and they keep giving me the runaround; I've even tried to call NSA but I couldn't find a number for them, so I'm trying you in the hopes that you can direct me to someone who can do something about this!

Me: Okay ma'am... can you give me an idea of what the security breach is?

Crazy lady: It's the encryption on the Mars lander photos!

Me: *confused silence*

Crazy lady: See, they Photoshopped the pictures we've been getting back from the Mars lander, but it's so easy to break the encryption on them! I've been able to get into them with no problem!

Now, at this point, I actually was somewhat worried that she was legit; I've gotten calls similar to this before that, while I don't exactly know what they were about, I've had to direct them to one or the other place in hopes of getting some good intel; but then she went and spouted this off:

Crazy lady: When I broke the encryption on those photos from the Mars lander, I was able to see the military installations and the troop emplacements we have there! I could figure out the troop strengths so easily!

Me: *slapping a hand over my mouth to keep from busting out laughing when I realize she's talking about TROOP INSTALLATIONS ON MARS*

Crazy lady: *oblivious to my efforts* I was able to see it all so easily, and I just think it's a darn shame that we aren't teaching our kids from kindergarten on up that we've populated Mars! Can you help me get this straightened out?

Me: *calming myself with an effort* Okay, if you could just hold on for one second ma'am, I'll see if I can get you a number of someone who can help you. *putting her on hold*

I then proceeded to absolutely bust a gut laughing; I finally calmed down and got the number of the department that handles the loonies, gave it to her, hung up the phone, and proceeded to bust out laughing yet again.

You can't MAKE this :rule10 up, I swear to GOD. I figured something this kooky belonged in the CT forum. I wish I could provide a source for it; I'd nom it for the Stundies and win hands down. I can't even say it without laughing; troop installations on MARS for Pete's sake....

[Rika]

So, uh.. when do we hear about Padrougi Station?

[Gazpacho]

But how did she know they were American bases? :confused:

[Doctor Evil]

Thank you for that. I laughed.

[Sabrina]

You are quite welcome. *G*

Made me laugh too; and trust me, today, I needed the laugh.

[Skeptic Guy]

You may laugh, but I, for one, welcome our Martian, er, American, er....overlords.

[gtc]

You may laugh, but I, for one, welcome our Martian, er, American, er....overlords.

Please, the polite term is Martian-Americans or Martians of American extration.

[~enigma~]

But how did she know they were American bases? :confused:
It was the Roughnecks. If you look closely you can see Rico's rangers :)

[defaultdotxbe]

But how did she know they were American bases? :confused:
because of the american flag waving in the martian breeze (actually i think marsmight have enough atmosphere to make a flag wave....)

[gtc]

It was the Roughnecks. If you look closely you can see Rico's rangers :)

You nailed that joke 'on the bounce'.

:alien012:

[GreNME]

Holy carp. Are calls like that a regular occurrence?

If so, now I feel bad for sending a notice to one of the .gov websites over a flaw in their server-side scripting that revealed file paths on the server's file system (which was a Windows Server running IIS, I found). One of the admin staff even replied and thanked me for pointing it out. I felt that was very thoughtful if them since I didn't expect a reply over such a minor thing.

Jeez, if people like that frequent security lines, you guys deserve a fruit basket every now and then.

[gtc]

Jeez, if people like that frequent security lines, you guys deserve a fruit basket every now and then.

I think the problem is that they already have too many fruit baskets - on the other end of the phone.

[defaultdotxbe]

does anyone else really want to see these "decrypted" images?

[Travis]

I'd like to have seen some of these "revealing" photographs.

[uk_dave]

I then proceeded to absolutely bust a gut laughing; I finally calmed down and got the number of the department that handles the loonies, gave it to her, hung up the phone, and proceeded to bust out laughing yet again.



That is either the most fantastic place to work...or the absolute worst.
I guess it may depend on whether they're allowed to use deadly force. :D

I'd like to have seen some of these "revealing" photographs.

Me too!

[CFLarsen]

Don't think this is just some lone kook. There are groups of people out there (yes, I know who you are, where you are, and what you talk about) who firmly believe in military bases on the Moon, Mars and other planets, also in other star systems.

Some aren't trailer moms who believes that National Enquirer is a credible source. One of these believers is a former Danish member of parliament, Ole Gerstrøm. Among many wacky things, he believes that he has been in alien spaceships around the Moon...8000 years ago.

[Sabrina]

Holy carp. Are calls like that a regular occurrence?

If so, now I feel bad for sending a notice to one of the .gov websites over a flaw in their server-side scripting that revealed file paths on the server's file system (which was a Windows Server running IIS, I found). One of the admin staff even replied and thanked me for pointing it out. I felt that was very thoughtful if them since I didn't expect a reply over such a minor thing.

Jeez, if people like that frequent security lines, you guys deserve a fruit basket every now and then.

They aren't a REGULAR occurrence, but they happen often enough that we need a department to deal with them. And trust me, I'm sure the guys you contacted were very grateful you pointed out such a flaw because it was true. This on the other hand... I still get the giggles every time I think about troop emplacements on Mars, simply because it's so ludicrous.

Thing is, we don't want to discourage calls or emails from people because we never know what may be useful; hence, we get calls from the crazies. That's why we have that department; they weed out the crazy calls and emails from the potentially legit ones, as far as I know.

I did a Google search last night and couldn't find anything potentially related, so I'm guessing Prison Planet hasn't snapped up the story yet.... but give it time.

[grmcdorman]

There are people who believe this - long term bases on the Moon (Nazis even), and more ... unique ... stuff.

Look up Richard Hoagland. The best debunking of that is at Phil Plait's BadAstronomy site; the Hoagland stuff is here (http://www.badastronomy.com/bad/misc/hoagland/index.html). There's also a number of threads in the BAUT forums and the Apollo Hoax forums about these things; in particular, the nuts were on the Polar Express images literally with hours of release ("they're processed to hide details! the cameras are colour but they release monochrome images to fool the sheeple!").

[NoZed Avenger]

Look up Richard Hoagland.

I'm going to disagree with this advice.


Don't look up Richard Hoagland.


Just . . . . just don't.



Don't.





Really. Just trust me on this one and don't.

[TobiasTheViking]

That is ****ing amazing.. insane, and amazing

[grmcdorman]

I'm going to disagree with this advice.


Don't look up Richard Hoagland.


Just . . . . just don't.



Don't.





Really. Just trust me on this one and don't.Well, put it this way: don't look at his own stuff; looking at Phil Plait's deconstruction of him should be sufficient. (Actually, Hoagland is said to do some reasonable debunking of moon landing deniers, but that's because he needs the moon landings to be real to support his moonbattery.)

[I Ratant]

Don't think this is just some lone kook. There are groups of people out there (yes, I know who you are, where you are, and what you talk about) who firmly believe in military bases on the Moon, Mars and other planets, also in other star systems.
...
.
I'd hated to live in a world where that wasn't true!

[Denial]

My thoughts wandered to this:
http://www.ironsky.net/site/

[SDC]

My thoughts wandered to this:
http://www.ironsky.net/site/

Nuts. I was thinking "Ironsky" as in a bizarre Russian-derived name. "Yes, this is Comrade Ironsky."

I was thinking too much.

[Lensman]

Of course we've got bases off-world, there's the Alpha site, the Beta site




& of course, the Atlantis Expedition. ;) :D

[Cl1mh4224rd]

because of the american flag waving in the martian breeze (actually i think marsmight have enough atmosphere to make a flag wave....)


Very much so.

Dust devils on Mars: http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/press/spirit/20050819a/dd_enhanced_568b-B558R1.gif

More: http://marsrovers.jpl.nasa.gov/gallery/press/spirit/20050819a.html

[Alareth]

There is an intel department specifically for handling loonies?

[David Swidler]

There is an intel department specifically for handling loonies?

Recruitment.

[Sabrina]

They're not an intel department; they're more of a screening department, in my opinion, but I actually know very little about them. All I know is, I was told if people with crazy claims ever called, I was to forward them to that department. I would imagine they handle a lot more than the loonies, but given that I've only ever forwarded loonies to them, that's how I think of them.

[Minadin]

They're not an intel department; they're more of a screening department, in my opinion, but I actually know very little about them. All I know is, I was told if people with crazy claims ever called, I was to forward them to that department. I would imagine they handle a lot more than the loonies, but given that I've only ever forwarded loonies to them, that's how I think of them.

LMAO you just sent this poor, honest, concerned citizen to the MiB department of the NWO.

Tommy Lee Jones is going to be visiting her shortly with a neuralizer flashy-thing in hand.

[SDC]

They're not an intel department; they're more of a screening department, in my opinion, but I actually know very little about them. All I know is, I was told if people with crazy claims ever called, I was to forward them to that department. I would imagine they handle a lot more than the loonies, but given that I've only ever forwarded loonies to them, that's how I think of them.

Two things to wonder about:

1/ who are the individuals who get assigned to such a department?

2/ and when those individuals interview for the next job, how do they discuss this one?

I'm thinking too much. What's the upper age limit on the Martian Expedititionary Force?

[uk_dave]

They're not an intel department; they're more of a screening department, in my opinion, but I actually know very little about them. All I know is, I was told if people with crazy claims ever called, I was to forward them to that department. I would imagine they handle a lot more than the loonies, but given that I've only ever forwarded loonies to them, that's how I think of them.

ahhh the "Department for the Suppression of the Truth"

[GreNME]

There is an intel department specifically for handling loonies?
Recruitment.

http://image.grenme.com/rimshot1.gif

[orphia nay]

I know who this woman is. I've been "debating" her (it's like playing tennis against a wall) in a ~300 page thread (http://www.freedomcrowsnest.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=71517) at this forum:

Freedom Crow's Nest (http://www.freedomcrowsnest.org/forum/viewforum.php?f=1).

This is her website: www.abidemiracles.com

does anyone else really want to see these "decrypted" images?

I'd like to have seen some of these "revealing" photographs.

If you want to see picture after picture of rocks, then you'll be very happy. :)

LMAO you just sent this poor, honest, concerned citizen to the MiB department of the NWO.

Tommy Lee Jones is going to be visiting her shortly with a neuralizer flashy-thing in hand.

:big:

Oh, dear, she's paranoid enough - I better not let her see this thread.

I was discussing her here (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=102208) in relation to some of her other conspiracy theories. Beware of batcraptasticness. ;)

[Jontg]

WhoooooOOOOOoooOOOOooooOOOOooo... @_@

[MolBasser]

Yes it is entertaining in a snapshot, and I myself have previously been greatly entertained by Emily in the past.

Unfortunately it is very clear that she is seriously mentally ill. When you read the totality of her posts it becomes clear.

At this point, it is no longer entertaining, but sad.

MolBasser

[CurtC]

I know who this woman is. I've been "debating" her (it's like playing tennis against a wall) in a ~300 page thread (http://www.freedomcrowsnest.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=71517) at this forum:

Freedom Crow's Nest (http://www.freedomcrowsnest.org/forum/viewforum.php?f=1).

This is her website: www.abidemiracles.com

So it's the same lady? I was going to suggest that military bases on Mars would explain the presence of porn there, as in the thread you linked.

[Cobalt]

As I looked upon the thread title, my first thought was "Ha, it's gonna be the moon." Close!


But really, Mars is just the staging point for the assault on the Moon itself. If we were gathering at Earth it'd just be too obvious.

Why would troops be at Mars? For that matter are they actually encrypting the photos that come back? I guess I'm missing the point of that if they are.

[Toke]

What is it with CT`s :confused:

I mean one can be ignorant, mistaken and plain wrong, but most people have some internal consistency to their beliefs/guesses about the world. And more importantly, they can be corrected/educated.

[Horatius]

Why would troops be at Mars? For that matter are they actually encrypting the photos that come back? I guess I'm missing the point of that if they are.



Not so much encrypting, as.... (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?postid=3841900#post3841900)

[zaphod2016]

Why would troops be at Mars?

Follow-up question: would guns work on Mars?

According to the Straight Dope (http://www.straightdope.com/mailbag/mgunsinspace.html), the greatest challenge would be extreme cold, not lack of oxygen (which was my original thought).

Mars is further from the sun, and much colder than Earth. Is it too cold for guns? And if so- what are our martian troops using up there? Pointy sticks? Lazer beams? (Never mind the obvious question: who or what are they shooting at?)

As a patriotic American, I am eager to help support our Martian troops in any way I can. I am happy to send blankets and mittens- just tell me where they go.

[SezMe]

I mean one can be ignorant, mistaken and plain wrong, but most people have some internal consistency to their beliefs/guesses about the world.
NopeTM

Most people have a belief in some form of god yet live their lives as if that god did not exist.

And more importantly, they can be corrected/educated.
NopeTM Most people never change their world view no matter what evidence is offered.

[Blue Mountain]

As a patriotic American, I am eager to help support our Martian troops in any way I can. I am happy to send blankets and mittens- just tell me where they go.

General Delivery
Iqaluit, Nunavut X0A 0H0
Canada

:D