I found a dirty fork in a Chinese restaurant! CHINESE FOOD IS DEADLY STOP EATING IT!

[shemp]

OMG!!! I found a dirty fork ina Chinese restaurant!!! The FDA says to STOP EATING CHINESE FOOD IT IS TEH DEVIL'S TOOL!!! YOU WILL DIE IF YOU EAT TEH SHRIMP LO MEIN!!! IT HAVE TEH SALMONELLA AND WILL KILLS YOU!!!

[JoeEllison]

Oh please... there's no salmonella in cat meat.

[Pope130]

What the heck are you doing with a fork in a Chinese restaurant?

Use you chop sticks, heathen!

[shemp]

Oh please... there's no salmonella in cat meat.


You are a lackey of the cat meat industry.

[shemp]

What the heck are you doing with a fork in a Chinese restaurant?

Use you chop sticks, heathen!

I got a splinter from teh chopsticks!

[Policenaut]

And you can't use the plastic ones because they cause cancer.

[JoeEllison]

You are a lackey of the cat meat industry.

I'm no lackey... all I know is, is that it tastes good. If the chicken and/or pork turns out to be cat and/or dog, the only complaint I'll have is over the prices.

[JoeEllison]

I got a splinter from teh chopsticks!

You should have brought your own... or is that just me?

[shemp]

You should have brought your own... or is that just me?

Next time I will eat with my fingers.

[RandFan]

Gotta agree with Joe. It's tasty as far as salmonella goes.

[196]

Dirty forks, bent forks, forks with rice stuck between the tines, cat meat in the chicken balls, that's all to be expected, however I refuse to eat in a Chinese restaurant unless the buffet has a sneeze guard.

[Sir Robin Goodfellow]

The Chinese have food now?

[Ron_Tomkins]

Must.... resist... temptation....

Oh what the hell. it's Shemp we're talking about. He's worthy of it:

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[mrbaracuda]

Make your own, but don't forget the HOT COCK SAUCE!

[TragicMonkey]

Be careful what you say about Chinese food. General Tso is everywhere. He knows all, he sees all. And he has a long reach. A long, chickeny, reach. All hail General Tso!

[plumjam]

Korean restaurants are much the same.
But I realise that that's no defence... because two wongs don't make wight.

[uruk]

I'm no lackey... all I know is, is that it tastes good. If the chicken and/or pork turns out to be cat and/or dog, the only complaint I'll have is over the prices.

I don't think there is anybody here who would object to eating a little pus...umm..ah...you all know what I mean.

[schplurg]

It's about time we had a Chinese bashing thread! :rolleyes:

[196]

It's about time we had a Chinese bashing thread! :rolleyes:Well, we're saving our Scotish bashing for the "I found a dirty beak in my McDonalds Chicken McNuggets" thread. :D

[TragicMonkey]

Well, we're saving our Scotish bashing for the "I found a dirty beak in my McDonalds Chicken McNuggets" thread. :D

I always found that case laughable. Everybody knows there isn't that much chicken in those "nuggets". You'd be far more likely to find a raccoon's paw.

[RandFan]

I always found that case laughable. Everybody knows there isn't that much chicken in those "nuggets". You'd be far more likely to find a raccoon's paw.Mmmmm..... raccoon paw. Tasty.

[Morrigan]

I don't understand this thread, but I gotta say that authentic Chinese barbecue pork and Singapore-style noodles (especially those in Montreal's Chinatown restaurants) are the best things ever.

[roger]

Authentic Montreal Chinese food.

hmmmmm.....

[roger]

Next time I will eat with my fingers.Salmonella and splinters will be the least of your concerns if you stick those filthy things in your mouth.

[RandFan]

Salmonella and splinters will be the least of your concerns if you stick those filthy things in your mouth.Besides, you don't know where they've been.

[Morrigan]

Authentic Montreal Chinese food.

hmmmmm.....
Laugh all you want, but we have some Hong Kong-style diners here that are very close to what you would find over there. Or so my Chinese friend has told me.

[roger]

Besides, you don't know where they've been.All I can say for sure is that my goats are walking funny.

[Skeptic Ginger]

Oh please... there's no salmonella in cat meat.Er...ahem...

New bacteria outbreak linked to pet food (http://www.abc15.com/news/local/story.aspx?content_id=f4bb8be9-04df-4f6c-8383-a8a6601a36ad)Veterinarians ABC15 spoke with said the concept of getting salmonella from dry pet food is rare, but possible.

That's why they recommend people wash their hands and disinfect areas immediately after messing with their pet's food.

They should also avoid having their pet lick their mouth and face.Of course the uneducated article writer thinks salmonella is a 'virus' but that's another matter. I also don't think the face licking is an issue though considering the licking habits of cats and dogs, I'd say the pet food was the least of your worries. ;)

The bacteria won't hurt your pets but parents who think it's funny their baby is eating kibbles from fido's bowl are rather naive.

Hand washing and don't eat the kibbles is all anyone really needs to do.

[roger]

He meant meat made from cats, not meat fed to cats. 'Twas a joke.

[Skeptic Ginger]

And you can't use the plastic ones because they cause cancer.I own a couple pair of jade chopsticks but I suppose that might look snobby pulling them out at the local Chinese greasy spoon.

[Skeptic Ginger]

He meant meat made from cats, not meat fed to cats. 'Twas a joke.Well... (http://moviewavs.com/php/sounds/?id=bst&media=WAVS&type=TV_Shows&movie=Simpsons&quote=jip.txt&file=jip.wav)

[jj]

Fork.

Chinese food.

E_CONTEXT_EXCEPTION 666

[Morrigan]

Hey now. Even if the Chinese restaurants I prefer don't have forks around by default (in the above-mentioned Hong Kong-styled diner, they are barely available), I still use them to eat my Singapore noodles. Chopsticks just suck and are inferior to Western ustentils. It is known.

[Beerina]

I don't understand this thread, but I gotta say that authentic Chinese barbecue pork and Singapore-style noodles (especially those in Montreal's Chinatown restaurants) are the best things ever.

Sweet god I love Singapore noodles, especially with the hot oil. And that's just the non-authentic Chinese restaraunts, for what that's worth.

[dudalb]

Well, we're saving our Scotish bashing for the "I found a dirty beak in my McDonalds Chicken McNuggets" thread. :D


The Chinese eat some wierd stuff, but for sheer disgusting food, you will never top Haggis.I tried it once....never again. Liver mixed with Oatmeal is truly obnoxious.

[dudalb]

I admit to a passion for Hot and Sour Soup.

[Piscivore]

My daughter got sick at a Chinese restaurant once, but it wasn't very Chinese, as everyone there was southeast Asian. Oh, and it wasn't so much "restaurant" as it was "Mafia front".

[shemp]

The Chinese eat some wierd stuff, but for sheer disgusting food, you will never top Haggis.I tried it once....never again. Liver mixed with Oatmeal is truly obnoxious.

I bet Chinese Haggis tastes like ****.

[quixotecoyote]

My daughter got sick at a Chinese restaurant once, but it wasn't very Chinese, as everyone there was southeast Asian. Oh, and it wasn't so much "restaurant" as it was "Mafia front".

I've seen that as a story element a few times (the 'organized' establishment with food so horrible normal people dont go there), but I doubted they'd really do it that way.

[luchog]

for sheer disgusting food, you will never top Haggis.I tried it once....never again. Liver mixed with Oatmeal is truly obnoxious.
Maybe, but at least it's one of the few things they don't deep-fry.