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Ocelot
1st August 2008, 02:03 PM
I have a herbalist mechanic. Last month she called me up and said that she'd had a dream that my car was leaking brake fluid, she referred me to a very scientific study that examined the possibility that a bowl of tomatoes in olive oil stored in the glove compartment, might prevent loss of hydaulic fluids. Apparently this is an ancient treatment that goes back to Atlantis. Well initially I was skeptical but I thought that it couldn't do any harm as it's all natural, and it might help prevent a nasty accident. So I bought just such a bowl of tomatoes and stashed them in the glove compartment. As the weeks went on they rotted down and started to produce quite a sharp odour, but it's suprising how quickly you get used to it. It's really quite pleasant and not at all nausiating or distracting when driving. However somehow my Dad noticed when I was giving him a lift, so I had to explain the whole story to him.

Well he's a hard nosed cynic and on hearing that I had concerns about my brakes, immediately dragged my car off to his mechanic to get thoroughly checked over. Dad's mechanic is the conventional representitive of the multi billion dollar motor industry, patonising with his grubby overalls, two days growth on his chin and he sucks through his teeth when asked the price of anything. Quite a contrast to my pretty herbalist in her smart business suit who never raises the vulgar subject of money.

Well this grubby little man gave my car a thorough going over and checked the brakes every which way. He told my Dad that my car was in perfect condition and there was nothing the matter with my brakes. So it looks like the tomatoes worked after all. I'll certainly carrying seeing my herbalist mechanic, you can't be too careful with car safety you know.

Tanstaafl
1st August 2008, 03:51 PM
:D

With iron-clad logic like that, how can I ever trust my car to the mechano-industrial complex again?

Ralph
2nd August 2008, 03:35 PM
I never realized the Atlanteans had problems with leaking brake fluid.

I had some transmission problems with my Accord recently.

I filled the trunk with bananas and avacadoes--let it ferment for a month-- and the car's been running like a top ever since.

TjW
2nd August 2008, 08:27 PM
Your car does nothing but spin in a circle, and you're okay with that?

Ocelot
4th August 2008, 03:07 AM
I should point out of course that my mechanic's dream did not come out of the blue. I'd previously asked her to meditate on my difficulties parallel parking. If you think about it problems with the brakes would account for that. It's very difficult to park without brakes so a slight loss of brake fluid would make it slightly more difficult to park.

My dad and other cynics put this down to poor visuo spacial ability but I think they're on denial. (or is it under denial, or over... anyway they have some location with respect to denial)

Now the tomatoes have done their job I certainly think I'm having better luck parking.

http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/fail-parking-cop-car.jpg

Ocelot
3rd September 2008, 04:21 AM
I forgot about this thread until it got through to the language award finals (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=122363) and has started to do rather well currently 2nd place int he voting. So I'm bumping it in the hope for more votes, with a mention of Homeopathic petrol/Gasoline (http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rls=GGLD,GGLD:2005-10,GGLD:en&q=Run+you+car+on+water). That's right with the proper investment in supressed technology you can get more miles to the gallon by diluting your fuel with water. Some even manage to run the car on water alone. Of course the multi billion dollar automotive industry are trying to cover this up with their ever increasing demands for more and more evidence but the simple fact remains that all these people wouldn't be in business if it didnt work. Would they?

jdc324
3rd September 2008, 05:40 AM
Heh, you think you've got problems? My car has a voracious sexual appetite - as you can see from the pic:
http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/images/weird-accidents-one-car-on-top-of-another1.jpg

Ocelot
3rd September 2008, 05:42 AM
Heh, you think you've got problems? My car has a voracious sexual appetite - as you can see from the pic:
http://www.funnyphotos.net.au/images/weird-accidents-one-car-on-top-of-another1.jpg

Well that sporty little number was just asking for it. I can't quite see but is it going topless?

ChaoticLimbs
10th September 2008, 05:19 PM
Funny thread is funny.