I Am With You Always

[zakur]

Creepy and funny at the same time.

Jesus - With You Always (http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/index.htm)

[Mr Manifesto]

These have been around for a while. Now you have to play a caption game with them.

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Trucker.JPG
HEY! LEGGO! I'M TRYING TO DRIVE! AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEE!

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Welder.JPG
No carpenters in this section! We got demarcation!

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/CarpetLayer.JPG
Do you know where I'm going to shove this thing if you don't get away from me?

[EdipisReks]

the Jesus hockey statue is better. :) i believe that these "with you always" prints were the subject of a Photoshop Phriday on somethingawful.com some time back.

[Lord Kenneth]

So, if you get into a car accident, Jesus helped cause it to happen?

[Marc]

Ack!! Do you Frigging Mind Jesus, I'm trying to have a little privacy here! And none of that Tsk-tsk stuff about my Playboy, had to see Darryl Hanna in it.

[Sindai]

The somethingawful forum goons did a huge set of photoshops of these a year or two ago. Some of the funniest stuff I've ever seen...unfortunately, it looks like they never made it onto SA's site, so no linkage,.

[a_unique_person]

A search for a suitable model to represent Jesus resulted in the selection of a young man who happened to be 33 years old! (the supposed age of Jesus at the end of His earthly ministry); had the length of hair and other physical characteristics often associated with images of Jesus; was willing to grow a beard; and, most importantly, was a devoted Christian.



He forgot the bit about getting a model who looks vaguely Jewish.

[Zep]

I notice that Jeebus is pushing the guy with the arc-welder. Obviously they haven't changed or improved the models of arc-welders since Herodian Jerusalem, so Jeebus knows EXACTLY how to use one!

[wayrad]

Also, note the way he's looking at the executive, bank teller, and insurance salesman. One wonders how many of those pictures get presented as gifts...and for what motives.

[TruthSeeker]

Well, he isn't with scientists so that's a relief.

In the french horn one (?????), he looks like he's about to swat the guy. In others, he's just glaring at the person.

These are so funny. Thank you so much for this link.

[LibraryFox]

Jesus seems a bit lazy, he's always sitting and watching other people work.
-LF

[wayrad]

Originally posted by TruthSeeker
Well, he isn't with scientists so that's a relief. Hear, hear. But did you see the dental assistant one? I may never have my teeth cleaned again.:eek:

[TruthSeeker]

Originally posted by LibraryFox
Jesus seems a bit lazy, he's always sitting and watching other people work.
-LF

Well, redeeming all of man(and woman) kind, answering prayers, and all that other god-stuff is tiring. The guy deserves the odd stalker type break.

[TruthSeeker]

Originally posted by wayrad
Hear, hear. But did you see the dental assistant one? I may never have my teeth cleaned again.:eek:


That is creepy...he is getting way too much joy out of that guy's dental pain. I can't stop laughing now.

I also have some serious problems with his aseptic standards when he's in surgery.

I think we should create one of Jesus hanging out with Darwin for the creationists

[calladus]

Originally posted by Mr Manifesto
These have been around for a while. Now you have to play a caption game with them.

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Trucker.JPG
Before entering your car on dark nights, you should always check the rear seat for potential muggers!

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Welder.JPG
Human Resources tried experimenting with 'alternative medicine' to relieve repetitive stress injurys.

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/CarpetLayer.JPG
"I never noticed before, but that silky fine hair on the back of your neck makes me so hot!"

[Martin]

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/student.JPG

Umm...no caption required, I think.

[Mr Manifesto]

You would think that if JC was so damn concerned with helping us, he'd tell the welder to tuck his shirt in.

NO LOOSE CLOTHING, @$$HOLE!

[Flaherty]

And notice how Jesus always looks like a white Southern boy instead of a semite?

[Brown]

Hey, the juggler looks like Tom Cruise.

[headscratcher4]

Am I wrong, or does Jesus not look like that crazy blind Japanese guy whose followers tried to start the apocolypse by gassing the Tokyo subways system?

[Brown]

The "Preacher" one is very disturbing. This artist is not the first or only artist ever to depict the idea of Jesus telling the preacher, and the preacher telling the congregation. It's a quaint idea, but it doesn't really work that way (and many preachers candidly agree it doesn't work that way).

The disturbing aspect is that the picture suggests that what the preacher says comes straight from the Almighty. Accordingly, what the preacher says should not be questioned.

A preacher who had one of these pictures in his office would probably not be a very trustworthy person.

[Mr Manifesto]

Originally posted by headscratcher4
Am I wrong, or does Jesus not look like that crazy blind Japanese guy whose followers tried to start the apocolypse by gassing the Tokyo subways system?

Shoko! Shoko! Asahara Shoko!
Sarin! Sarin! Wonderful Sarin!

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Vet.JPG
"Well? What are the results of the latest batch?"
"We are almost ready, masssster... Soon, Tokyo will be ourssss."
"Say, is that an serpent/staff logo on your lapel? I thought only doctors were supposed to have those?"

[wayrad]

Originally posted by Mr Manifesto



"Say, is that an serpent/staff logo on your lapel? I thought only doctors were supposed to have those?" Well, some vet must have actually had one. It's fairly obvious this guy is copying photos.

I found it amusing that being willing to grow a beard was a prerequisite for the Jesus model...apparently he couldn't just draw one on. A caduceus would no doubt be an impossible task.

[Electric Monk]

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Trucker.JPG
See, I told you that running over a dog would be fun! Now, let's find us a obnoxious little kid.

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Preacher.JPG
Oh man, you're not gonna believe what I just saw. It was like the stained glass windows were melting or something... You got any more of those crackers?

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Teller.JPG
Hey fine mama, did you know my dad's name is on every one of those things?

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Secretary.JPG
Wait. Go back to the one with Pamela Anderson for a minute.

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Juggler.JPG
Gonna ask me for forgivness now, or do I have to make you into a ventriloquist too?

http://members.aol.com/JesusImages/imagesJPG/Clown.JPG
But if $2500 is too much, I can get you a Chinese girl for $650.