Brainster
3rd September 2008, 01:26 AM
This was passed on to me from an aunt:
Dear Nephew,
I am appalled to learn that Barack Obama has been nominated as the Democrats' candidate for president. What is this world coming to? What kind of first name is that? Why, it sounds like something your uncle belched out at the dinner table last night after drinking a few Old Styles. Brrrraaaaccckkk!
And Obama? Now I know we're supposed to be tolerant and all, but I can't see another Irishman in the White House. Plus I hear both his teenaged daughters are pregnant, and that he shoved one of them under the bus in an attempt to induce a miscarriage. What kind of a man would do that?
And this fella Biden's not a lot better; he looks like the before picture in the hair club for men ad. Plus I hear he started out his speech at the convention by talking about events that happened four score and seven years ago. Sheesh, and I thought McCain was old.
And that Michelle Obama's no better. I hear she doesn't love Europe. What kind of liberal doesn't love Europe better than America? But at least they have a pastor who expresses the proper respect and honor this country is due. And respected friends like Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn.
But I'm going to have to vote for Obama and Biden anyway. They may be a pair of boobs, but they don't have a pair of boobs, and that's important to me. After all, a woman's place is in the home. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta put a TV dinner in the oven for your uncle before I head out to the casino.
Love,
My Your Aunt
Dear Nephew,
I am appalled to learn that Barack Obama has been nominated as the Democrats' candidate for president. What is this world coming to? What kind of first name is that? Why, it sounds like something your uncle belched out at the dinner table last night after drinking a few Old Styles. Brrrraaaaccckkk!
And Obama? Now I know we're supposed to be tolerant and all, but I can't see another Irishman in the White House. Plus I hear both his teenaged daughters are pregnant, and that he shoved one of them under the bus in an attempt to induce a miscarriage. What kind of a man would do that?
And this fella Biden's not a lot better; he looks like the before picture in the hair club for men ad. Plus I hear he started out his speech at the convention by talking about events that happened four score and seven years ago. Sheesh, and I thought McCain was old.
And that Michelle Obama's no better. I hear she doesn't love Europe. What kind of liberal doesn't love Europe better than America? But at least they have a pastor who expresses the proper respect and honor this country is due. And respected friends like Bill Ayers and Bernardine Dohrn.
But I'm going to have to vote for Obama and Biden anyway. They may be a pair of boobs, but they don't have a pair of boobs, and that's important to me. After all, a woman's place is in the home. Now if you'll excuse me, I've gotta put a TV dinner in the oven for your uncle before I head out to the casino.
Love,
My Your Aunt