The Ethics of Getting a Friend a Job

[Cosmo]

I've been having something of a moral dilemma as of late and, despite all my internal analysis, I'm coming up short on answers. I thought I'd seek advice from the intelligent people on this forum:

I'm a recent college graduate, 2 months into my current job. I'm having a wonderful time - the company is great, my coworkers are wonderful, and I love San Francisco. To be honest, things are really great for me. :)

A very close friend, who I met during freshman year at college and have known for 5+ years now, is 1.5 years into his job. He hates it - the location, the work he's doing, his coworkers... essentially, he and I are in opposite situations. I mentioned to him off-hand that he might like working at my company and he was almost immediately interested - it'd be a welcome change, plus he grew up in California and has long since wanted to return. My glowing descriptions about my work and coworkers have surely played no small part in his desire to make the change. By no small coincidence, the position he was most interested in - and, by my estimates, most qualified for - was to be a coworker on my team.

It was at this point that I first sought advice from family and (non-work) friends. Should I submit his resume via our internal system? If I do, it will put him on the fast track and almost certainly confer him a huge advantage throughout his interviewing process. But what if his interviews don't go well? Or, what if they do go well - and he's hired - but he takes a nosedive once on the job? Would it reflect poorly on me? ("Boy, Cosmo, you sure referred a real winner to us!" or "He would never have gotten so far in the process if he wasn't your friend.") I worried, and was unsure, and several of those I consulted warned me against submitting his resume.

I did submit it, and he was promptly scheduled for a phone interview with our HR department. He called me up to let me know, and, although I did not interview with HR when I was going through the hiring process, I speculated wildly about what they might ask him and coached him on good responses. He had the interview and did very well. I was proud of myself for so accurately guessing what HR would ask him, but my pride was accompanied by a feeling of unease for essentially giving him a free pass through the process.

Next, he was scheduled for a phone interview with my boss. In a phone call where I did my best to mask my growing unease with the situation, I laid out almost exactly what my boss would ask him and the best responses to give. He had another successful interview.

Now, he is being flown across the country (on the company's dime) for final-round interviews here in the office. Not only am I also an expert on final-round interviews here - having just gone through the process myself - but I just today became aware that the final-round process is about to change significantly. I have full details on what the new process entails.

Therein lies my dilemma:


If I give him full disclosure about final-round interviews, he will have a huge advantage over the competition and will almost certainly interview very well. It would be wonderful to have him here, and I'm certain he'd be much happier here than at his current job.

or


I know he's a very smart, very capable individual, and I daresay that he would interview well without any coaching on my part. However, he is certainly expecting full disclosure from me about the final-round interview process and may be annoyed or angered if I decline.

As hard as it may be, I am leaning towards the latter... What say you?

[slingblade]

Tell him, essentially, what you told us: the process has changed. Just don't say you know what the changes are. You'd love to help, but you're afraid he's on his own now.

And next time, listen to those hinky feelings. You were trying very hard to tell yourself to shut up, but you simply ignored you. This is almost always bad.

[Fredrik]

I think most people would choose the first option and not worry about it. I would. I understand your concern that he might do a bad job once he's hired, and that it might reflect poorly on you, but it's not like it's going to be a disaster for you if that happens. And it's not very likely anyway. If he doesn't make an effort to learn the job quickly, that would be a pretty ****** thing of him to do to you. If he's your friend, he should know that, and make that effort.

I suggest that you deal with your concerns by taking some time to help him out once he's hired. Make sure that you tell him exactly what he needs to learn to do a good job. Talk to him regularly to see if he understands those things and put him back on the right track if you see that he's doing something wrong.

[Kittyclaws]

You've basically put your dream job on the line for this friend. You're correct in assuming any failure of his during the early steps would/could have reflected on you to some extent, perhaps leading management to question your judgment.

What would your supervisor say if he/she knew how much assistance you've given your friend? Most large employers have specific guidelines and rules outlined in their corporate code of conduct. You may have already stepped over the line of appropriate behavior in the company's eyes. Time to CYA.

[Gagglegnash]

Hi

Yeah - not listening to yourself is pretty dangerous. I always listen to me.

LIAR! YOU DO NOT!!

I do too! I listened to me about dinner...

You were HUNGRY!

and about not going out on Sunday.

You didn't listen to ME. You listened to my BACK!

I didn't say anything.

Shut up, you!

....

Excuse me - I have to go attend to something....

[plumjam]

He's a friend in need of your help. Help him out and don't worry about it. If he screws up later on then that's his own responsibility really. Even if he does screw up the change of environment may have helped him a great deal, and he might find another job in SF.

[geni]

What you know vs who you know. Which side do you want to support?

[MattC]

How can your friend screw up early on in his career when he has you there to watch over him to ensure he does not? For that matter, how can you when you have him there to watch your back?

~ MattC

[lionking]

Help him. I have a background in HR and know how unreliable interviews are (as distinct from an assessment of someone's achievements and proven capabilities), yet businesses still rely on interviews. If you are happy that your friend is capable, it is probably a better basis for selection than the coin-toss of an interview.

I also disagree that any failure will reflect on you. Screw-ups happen when hiring people, regardless of the method of selection. I can't imagine that any mature, respectable business would hold you to blame.

I have helped out friends in the past, as well as my children, and sleep easily at night.

[Mobyseven]

To add a bit to what Lionking said, I've seen a lot of auditions and the like. There are some people who audition very, very well, and then can't perform in the actual rehearsal space or the performances. If I have the option to choose someone who I know will do a good job, even if their audition was not completely up to scratch, I will often choose them. (The same works the other way round, too - I've done some horrible auditions in the past and gotten through because of a good reputation).

[arthwollipot]

The ethical dilemma here is that by telling him what the interview process is and what questions are likely to be asked, you are giving him information that is not available to other applicants. Insider trading, if you like.

Referring him to the position is one thing - helping him get the job by giving him the information required to pass the interview is another.

[Rasmus]

I once referred a friend to a job and he screwed up *big time* - at a small and easy job, too. We're still friends and my employer didn't hold it against me, either.

Come to think of it, at the same time, I got referred to that job from another friend who worked there.

I walked out of a job after day that I had been referred to by another friend still - no big deal, though, just couldn't take the abuse that's part of doing outbound call center work and i couldn't take the incompetence of my supervisors.

I got referred to my current job by a friend (and co-worker still) and been here for nearly two years yet.

So, no problem there. My advise would be just make sure you think you would actually hire that person yourself if it was your business depending on that decision. (Incidentally, I would not refer the first friend to any other jobs again.)

I have little to say on the part of coaching your friend about the process. If you think it's unfair or not the right thing to do, then don't. In similar situations I appreciate the advise - but I'd never demand or expect it.

[westprog]

There are a number of points to consider. Some may be relevant to this case, some not.


If someone has a personal obligation to a friend, will that tend to make him do a better job or not?
Will the answers to questions be truthful, or just expressed in a way that will sound better? If he's lying, that's quite different from simply putting himself forward in the best way he can.
A vast number of jobs are filled not from an objective impersonal selection process, but out of human contact. It's a way that human beings relate, so it's not inherently immoral.
In general, things we don't want our employers, friends, spouses or the general public to know are not creditable things.
There's a conflict in life between helping people we like, and doing what is right.

[tkingdoll]

I think if he can't get through the interview on his own merits, it reflects poorly on his ability to do the actual job. Therefore, you shouldn't give him any further help other than maybe saying the process has changed from the one you had previously mentioned.

Otherwise, you may find yourself having to hold his hand throughout his time working there, too. And that's neither healthy nor fair.

In addition, your first loyalty is to your employer. They pay you to do a job and not do anything that's not in their best interests. So, respect that and give them the opportunity to assess the new candidate based on his ability, not his insider information.

Finally, they are paying a lot of money for this recruitment process, in time, paperwork, plane fares and admin. Respect your employers investment by ensuring they get the fairest picture of the candidate. If that means risking him not getting the job, then so be it. If he's not up to scratch in the interview, or if another candidate outperforms him, then he shouldn't get the job anyway, despite how much you'd like him to have it.

[westprog]

I think if he can't get through the interview on his own merits, it reflects poorly on his ability to do the actual job.

Generally, people aren't hired for taking interviews. If you know someone is a brilliant widget-carver, but he comes over badly at interviews, then you're doing Widgets Inc. a favour by getting him in there.

If, OTOH, he's crap at widget-carving, but you tell him some simple tricks to get past the widget exam, then you are tricking Widgets, Inc, and they should fire you.

[Ian Osborne]

If you know someone is a brilliant widget-carver, but he comes over badly at interviews, then you're doing Widgets Inc. a favour by getting him in there.

If, OTOH, he's crap at widget-carving, but you tell him some simple tricks to get past the widget exam, then you are tricking Widgets, Inc, and they should fire you.
This. If you trust him to do the job, by all means help get him there. If you don't, you shouldn't want him there, friend or otherwise.

[Ysidro]

You folks think to hard. The real question is "how much will the friend pay him for inside information?" :D

[roger]

As someone who has interviewed a lot of people, and hired some...

Interviews aren't a 'test'. We desparately want to hire a qualified person, and since we don't know them, we try the best we can to see if they are suited for the position. If someone I knew could honestly recommend someone for the position, I would take that recommendation any day over an interview. I'm also not trying to be "fair" to job applicants. If I was about to open a position, then got a recommendation from somebody I trusted, I wouldn't go ahead and hold interviews just to be "fair". I have a business need, and I am going to fill it the best I can. Depending on the importance of the position and the suitability of the recommendation I might interview to see if I could find a better fit, but that's a different story.

So, if you think he will be an asset to your firm, I say help him. You are doing both the firm and him a favor. If you don't think he would be an asset, then don't.

I tried really hard to do good interviews and make good selections, and all I can discern is that they are a crap shoot. Cynics might point out I'm just bad at them, but I've observed the same results with other people. It's not that hard to weed out the dreck, but there are so many factors that's really hard to find out in an interview. Do they get pissy if asked to do something their coworker is not (somebody has to do it, it ain't always going to be even and fair)? Do they talk about others behind their back? Do they take a week to do a simple assignment? Do they forget things? etc. A great resume and great interview can still equal subpar performance. Help your friend if he belongs.

[westprog]

As someone who has interviewed a lot of people, and hired some...

Interviews aren't a 'test'. We desparately want to hire a qualified person, and since we don't know them, we try the best we can to see if they are suited for the position.



There are jobs where the most important thing is being able to project a winning personality. For others, it's irrelevant. Being a sulky introvert is almost a prerequisite in the software industry.

[Marquis de Carabas]

In addition, your first loyalty is to your employer.
This sentence utterly mystifies me, unless it's directed at the self-employed.

[Morrigan]

I agree with Roger. The hiring process isn't about fairness, it's about filling a position. If my friend or acquaintance is well-suited, but he still has to go through the motions of the interview and paperwork to satisfy some company rule, I don't see a problem with giving him insider information to speed up the process and get on with fulfilling the business need.

I may be biased since my last two jobs were acquired via a friend who had recommended me. :D I think I did well in the interviews too, but I got the job because I'm qualified and my friend knew it (and he convinced the others), and my employers have always been satisfied with me.

An anecdote I want to share on the matter: one of the most unproductive, useless, worthless co-worker I ever had to deal with was a total fraud of a guy whose best skill was his (BS) talking. He would always do great in interviews; he knew how to sell himself. But that's ALL he could do. During his months at that job, he produced absolutely *nothing* (and often managed to take credit for young interns' work). Not only that but he was also astonishingly ignorant; he was supposed to have an IT degree from a prestigious university, but his technical knowledge was worthless and he often wasted our time with inane beginner questions.
However, he would often stay late and talk with the bosses, and feign interest in "the market" and other "important" topics, as if he really wanted to be involved in his job. He was eventually fired, but he managed to last a few months with that scam.

[Cosmo]

I suppose I should have known that, like most interesting dilemmas, there's almost never an easy answer to be had. ;) You all had some very interesting points, but...

You've basically put your dream job on the line for this friend. You're correct in assuming any failure of his during the early steps would/could have reflected on you to some extent, perhaps leading management to question your judgment.

What would your supervisor say if he/she knew how much assistance you've given your friend? Most large employers have specific guidelines and rules outlined in their corporate code of conduct. You may have already stepped over the line of appropriate behavior in the company's eyes. Time to CYA.

...this really hit home. I know all too well how poorly a good interview predicts good job performance, but even so, I can't imagine that my actions thus far would be acceptable to my manager; there is also a very real possibility I've already violated some sort of company policy.

I won't raise the subject of final interviews to my friend, but if he asks for full disclosure I'll have to let him down as easily as I can.

[pchams]

I think many people have been put in your position.
Seems as if you have put yourself in it.
I agree with Roger. Positions are tough to fill, and many people are hired from
within an industry where their abilities are known, for instance, by someone like you.
However, I think you have placed yourself in a precarious position viv a vis his performance vs. your recommendation.
In addition, your relationship will change once you two become cow-orkers ;) .
If anything, I think this is a good lesson in life.

[Denver]

The ethical dilemma here is that by telling him what the interview process is and what questions are likely to be asked, you are giving him information that is not available to other applicants. Insider trading, if you like.

Referring him to the position is one thing - helping him get the job by giving him the information required to pass the interview is another.

I agree with this.

You've already done PLENTY to help him on his way to this job. But he needs to make it through the interview process on his own merits now, not on yours.

And there is always the possibility that you could be violating some non-disclosure or privacy issue yourself by coaching him too much here. And if not, if your boss finds out, it would likely at least be seen as "unfair", and reflect poorly on you.