If you were an Alien...

[Nogbad]

would you come within a 100 light years of a xenophobic backwater like Earth?

[Graham Ross]

It would totally be worth it just to find out what the insides of a cow look like.

[Sunstealer]

Why not? I could get wasted on pangalactic gargleblasters and fly low over rural areas scaring the locals just like a thousand other worlds. Is the Earth any more backward or xenophobic than other inhabited planets?

[Bikewer]

Earth chicks are easy....

[cwalner]

would you come within a 100 light years of a xenophobic backwater like Earth?

In the more civilized parts of the galaxy it is harder to sneak up on folks and give them the old anal 'probe'

[Hokulele]

If I were an alien, I greatly doubt I would even be aware of the earth's existence.

[BillC]

What do you mean, "if"?

[arthwollipot]

I'm just going to lurk for a while while I think of something amusing to say.

[Denver]

If you hadn't heard, a guy in Colorado is pushing for a ballot issue to create an Extraterrestrial Affairs Commission in Denver.

The article below gives one idea of an alien's perspective on this issue:

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=399475459&blogID=434026911

[Correa Neto]

Anal probing, food issues and cow butchering apart...

Well, some of us do study amoebas, don't we?

Haven't we sent probes to another planet (and intend to send some more) looking for evidence of microbial life?

So, if I were an alien, had the required technological and economic resources, I think its possible I would pay a visit to this rotating ball of boredom to study it and its inhabitants. Especially if complex lifeforms are rare, as it seems to be the case. Of course, I projected a lot of my human way of thinking in to my hypothetical aliens. The real ones -if they exist- might as well don't give a glob fly's rear end about other beings...

[tyr_13]

I know you all think it is pretty fun, but on a serious note...

Yes. There is (theoretically) a lot that aliens could learn from us. If they evolved on a planet (or moon, or asteroid, or inside a black hole) that was very different from ours, it would be interesting for them to see our conditions. If they come from a place like here, it would be interesting to see how we did things differently from them. It would be even more interesting to see what we did alike.

Alien sociologist and anthropologist would likely love to examine all social life forms in the galaxy, so I don't see how Earth would be any different. That might also explain how a race could travel the vast distances of space and yet still mess up enough for us to detect them; anthropologists tend to be piss poor techs. :p

That isn't to say that I think aliens are here and shoving things up our backsides however.

[Achán hiNidráne]

Only if I could snatch unsuspecting humans off the streets and bring them to my hive to serve as hosts for our parasitic young.

[Minarvia]

I'd be too curious not to come to Earth. With the diversity of life we have here it would be fascinating.
Anyway, if Earth is considered by some to be so awful and terrible, who is to say that other worlds and species are any better? I think we all have to evolve and grow not only physically and technologically but also morally. I only hope that if aliens ARE among us or studying us they aren't hostile! Oh, wait, those cow mutilations just prove that they are! :)

[arthwollipot]

Nope, still got nothing.

[Nyarlathotep]

To give a serious answer...it would depend.

It would depend on, as someone else pointed out, whether I was even aware of Earth for one thing. And if I was, there is no way for me to know that it is a xenophobic backwater unless I checked it out first. Further, maybe there might be some value to me in studying the culture of this planet, or just in having pure knowledge about that peculiar species on that one planet.

And all of that assumes that my species is somehow morally superior to humans, which I find to be a HUGE assumption. I could be scouting the place out as a source of cheap low-tech slave labor.

In short, the answer to the question posed by the OP is unknowable.

[snowstorm]

would you come within a 100 light years of a xenophobic backwater like Earth?

yes and try to found David Ickle

[Cuddles]

Sure I would. None of this messing around with probing cattle and mutilating unsuspecting farmers, just a straight invasion. But, and here's the really important point, I wouldn't be completely retarded. Seriously, how have all the other aliens managed to screw up so badly? Amazing advanced technology to fly across the galaxy, create forcefields, communicate telepathically and so on, but you just let a bunch of semi-evolved apes steal a ship, fly into your mothership, upload a virus and then blow the whole thing up without anyone even noticing? Or you actually manage to take over, but then forget to put your space suit on and die of a slight cold. Or you spend all your time dripping goo and posing in dramatic ways going "Raarggh!" instead of just biting their damn heads off and getting on with wiping out all life in the galaxy. Or you win a war with time travelling supermen, but fail take over the Earth because you can't figure out how stairs work.

It's no wonder humans have managed to win and avoid being exterminated almost every time they've been invaded. It seems that pretty much every hyper-evolved, super-intelligent species with technology so advanced no-one else can even begin to understand it is also irredeemably stupid and utterly incompetent at performing even the simplest of tasks.

When it comes time for us to invade, we're going to do it properly. Nothing elborate and fancy, just a nice, simple destruction of all military installations and population centres using superweapons from space before they even know we've arrived, and then send in the giant killer robots to finish the job. We've already guided the development of humans computers to ensure that they're not even compatible with each other, let alone ours, and the first they'll see of our technology is when it drops on their heads and explodes, so good luck with figuring that out and using it against us.

Of course, none of that will actually happen, since why the hell would we want to go there in the first place? The Earth is tiny, and mostly made of useless stuff like iron, silicon and oxygen. I suppose we could keep humans as slaves, but that's far more trouble than it's worth, and anyway, we've got giant killer robots to do all our work for us already. The only thing we really need to keep going is slood, which humans probably haven't even discovered yet, and Jupiter has plenty of that to keep us going. Screw you guys, we're going home. And we're taking Jupiter with us.

[DarthFishy]

Yes.

To get the research grants, and funding to do that study of the Green Yak people of Betelgeuse 7, I always wanted to do.

and for the anal probing

and for goats

[Correa Neto]

Not to mention that "kill it before it grows" can also be motivation for a visit...
:flamed::shocked:

Yes, I think there are some possible reasons for an alien to visit us.

[wollery]

Anal probing, food issues and cow butchering apart...

Well, some of us do study amoebas, don't we?

Haven't we sent probes to another planet (and intend to send some more) looking for evidence of microbial life?Yep, we've sent landers to the Moon, Venus, Mars, Jupiter and Saturn (well, Titan), and we're sending one to Mercury.

We've also probed Uranus.

























Oh come on, somebody had to say it!

[AWPrime]

Turn every human into a lesbian and then sell the vid-feed from our cloaked sensors to the pan-universe network.

[Correa Neto]

We've also probed Uranus.

OMFG!!!!
That ultrasound scan I had on Monday...

Add this one to the reasons why I hate Mondays...

[tyr_13]

Aliens come here to see the worst porn in existence.

[GT/CS]

[Snip].....Of course, none of that will actually happen, since why the hell would we want to go there in the first place? [Snip]

It could make for some nice vacation property once you got rid of all the humans, and mosquitoes.

[leonAzul]

would you come within a 100 light years of a xenophobic backwater like Earth?

Why not?

It's mostly harmless ;)

[Correa Neto]

Well, they may find the mosquitoes -or the humans- a delicatessen...

[ExMinister]

They might amuse themselves listening to the channelers pretending to channel alien information. They might get a laugh out of the anal probe stories too. Where else in the universe are they going to find anything as entertaining as that?

[mikeyx]

would you come within a 100 light years of a xenophobic backwater like Earth?

I'd gitya! I'd gut you moo cows, and steal your young eat your brains! Wait, thats zombies......

[Madalch]

I'd be too curious not to come to Earth. With the diversity of life we have here it would be fascinating.

Compared to what?

Seriously, it's got the most diverse life of any planet that we know of, but if you're postulating the existance of aliens, they've probably seen a lot more planets than we have. Perhaps they consider planets like Earth to be as common as dirt (hell- it's even named "dirt"!). Perhaps Earth has the same basic biochemistry, diversity and ecosystems that they've seen a thousand times before, and simply isn't worth sending more than a single orbiting probe to.

It'd be fascinating to us to find out, but I'm sure they'd be a lot less curious. Just like my kids can be fascinated by the variety one finds in snowflakes, whereas I'm more "shut the damned door already- you're letting the cold air in!"

[tyr_13]

You can't assume that the Earth would be looked down on by aliens, just like you can't assume that they'd think it is wonderful. We just can't know that right now. In all likelihood we aren't massively interesting or 'just a ball of dirt'. Where we are on the spectrum? Who knows besides Xenu?

[Flo]

Yes.

To get the research grants, and funding to do that study of the Green Yak people of Betelgeuse 7, I always wanted to do.

and for the anal probing

and for goats



Back at the Scientific Committee of the Intergalactic Exploratory Council:

"Dr DarthFishy, you spent the 400'000'000 Gro$$afiot$ we allocated for your preliminary research to abuse the native, spoil their foodstuff with silly graffiti, and consort with their goats, and you expect us to give you a further grant so you can apply your wicked methods on the poor yaks of Betelgeuse ? Are you out of your mind ?"

[Uncayimmy]

It would all depend on my schedule, of course, but I'd do my best to see Vegas. I mean, everybody needs to see Vegas at some point, right. If I could time it to coincide with TAM, that would just be icing on the cake.

[Nogbad]

yes and try to found David Ickle

Is that some kind of strange alien sexy time?

[Corsair 115]

We've also probed Uranus.

Oh come on, somebody had to say it!"I'm sorry, Fry, but astronomers renamed the planet in 2620 to end that stupid joke once and for all."
"What's it called now?"
"Urectum."

[Hokulele]

We've also probed Uranus.


Did they find any Klingons?

[sackett]

Why do we always assume that aliens will be smarter than we are? Why not a planet of Mortimer Snerds?

"Say thur, Earthlin's, want ta hear sum of our super-scientifical knowhow? Wull, here goes: E equals MC!

"'Bout knocks yer socks up 'n down, don't it? Hyuck hyuck hyuck!"

[Corsair 115]

If I was an alien, I'd come to Earth so I could go on a hunting trip in Central America and stalk a commando team there.

[MattusMaximus]

I, for one, welcome our Alien Overlords.

[Zax63]

We are not coming anywhere near Earth until you do something about that so called "Miss Universe" contest. I mean seriously any verm keeper from Rigel VII is 4 times hotter than one of your surgically enhanced bimbos. And I'm not just talking about skin temperature either.

[Gord_in_Toronto]

Nope, still got nothing.

Got anything yet?

I'm just visiting this thread for the first time. I had not read it before because I did not think it applied to me as the title had "if" in it.

:alien011:

[moon1969]

No. Humans can"t understand aliesn. All of those made up stories about aliens seem to be more like stories about humans. If there is life in the universe then the aliesn would not be like the humans are.

[wollery]

No. Humans can"t understand aliesn. All of those made up stories about aliens seem to be more like stories about humans. If there is life in the universe then the aliesn would not be like the humans are.Why not?

Serious question.

[DarthFishy]

Back at the Scientific Committee of the Intergalactic Exploratory Council:

"Dr DarthFishy, you spent the 400'000'000 Gro$$afiot$ we allocated for your preliminary research to abuse the native, spoil their foodstuff with silly graffiti, and consort with their goats, and you expect us to give you a further grant so you can apply your wicked methods on the poor yaks of Betelgeuse ? Are you out of your mind ?"

But.. but I have graphs and everything!

[Whiplash]

It would totally be worth it just to find out what the insides of a cow look like.


You misspelled "rectum".

[Sideroxylon]

We'd make great pets.

[yairhol]

I am an alien...and I'm here...so the answer to your question is yeah.

[TheDeeMan]

would you come within a 100 light years of a xenophobic backwater like Earth?

I would consider the earth the intergalactic version of one of the Safari Drive thru things with a big "Do Not Feed The Humans" sign at the edge of the galaxy.

Dee

[TheDeeMan]

We'd make great pets.

Yeah, like Sea Monkeys. LOL! :)

Dee

[arthwollipot]

No. Humans can"t understand aliesn. All of those made up stories about aliens seem to be more like stories about humans. If there is life in the universe then the aliesn would not be like the humans are.See, that's an indication that you just haven't read any good science fiction. There are plenty of stories where the aliens are truly alien and do alien things. I recommend the works of CJ Cherryh (http://www.cherryh.com/).

Ew. That's a really awful website. Ah well. She's an author, not a web designer.

[Sideroxylon]

Yeah, like Sea Monkeys. LOL! :)

Dee

Probably take about the same length of time before the novelty wore off and we died of neglect. The old sea monkeys are perhaps a bit more resilient though.

[hipparchia]

I'd come to Earth just to Intelligently Design a life form and create a commotion.

Maybe try to steer evolution for a while and make cats the dominant intelligent species.

[cwalner]

I'd come to Earth just to Intelligently Design a life form and create a commotion.

Maybe try to steer evolution for a while and make cats the dominant intelligent species.

Who says they aren't already. I mean the relationship between most cats and thier human is more like master and slave than anything else.

[GT/CS]

Who says they aren't already. I mean the relationship between most cats and thier human is more like master and slave than anything else.

Maybe cats are the aliens!

Wow, that makes perfect sense.:jaw-dropp