Things kids do

[Flame]

(not to mention say).

So I hear 'Mom, the TV's making strange noises and it's gone all funny'
I investigate.
After an interrogation I find that Anna, who is four, has put coins into the slots at the back of it.
The said TV is now angry and confused, Anna is crying tears that are making 'plop' sounds on the floor.
Yell? Laugh? Cry? (it was my bedroom TV ed-dammit!)

:rolleyes:

[Whomp]

Originally posted by Flame
(not to mention say).

So I hear 'Mom, the TV's making strange noises and it's gone all funny'
I investigate.
After an interrogation I find that Anna, who is four, has put coins into the slots at the back of it.
The said TV is now angry and confused, Anna is crying tears that are making 'plop' sounds on the floor.
Yell? Laugh? Cry? (it was my bedroom TV ed-dammit!)

:rolleyes: Laugh. It's all you can do. I have 2 four year olds. Sometimes I feel like if I start yelling or crying, I won't be able to stop.


Whomp!

[tamiO]

Did you know a ceiling fan can make a great amusement park ride for Barbies?

Flame
Write these stories down. As vivid as they are now, you will forget some of them.

[Graham]

Tell her to wait 'til Daddy gets home . . ." :mad:

Just kidding. If I never post again though, you'll all know I've been electrocuted trying to extract pennies from the back of a TV.

When I was about six, I pulled up my Grandad's destined-to-be-prize sunflower and threw it over a hedge. It thought it was a weed, honest!

;)

[Foofer]

When my niece was little she said that when she grew up she was going to marry me. I explained to her that since we were related we couldn't get married so she said, "Okay, then I'll marry grandma!"

[kittynh]

DVD players, way harder than a VHS player for sticking things in. Endless little things made by Little Tykes and First Years and legos. once, I found a sandwich.

[WanderingKnight]

Unattended children in the bedroom whilst my wife napped in the living room.

A large container of Powdered Nestlé Quik (an instant chocolate milk).

A white carpet.

Two perfectly formed "Quik Angels" on said carpet

[sam catte12]

Husband left son aged 4 unattended in workroom at our office.

Child photocopied every moveable item in the room. Them moved on to his body *after removing clothes).

Then put pictures in the fax machine and hit the autosend buttons randomly.

Years later collegues still talk about some of those faxes, all of which printed out at the recipients end with our fax address at the top.

[Boo]

Originally posted by WanderingKnight
Unattended children in the bedroom whilst my wife napped in the living room.

A large container of Powdered Nestlé Quik (an instant chocolate milk).

A white carpet.

Two perfectly formed "Quik Angels" on said carpet

So nobody told you that white carpet and small kids don't mix? You are indeed a brave soul. The benefits of decorating 'Southwestern' is that everything is various shades of brown, from sand to chocolate. When the kids move out I'm painting everything white and getting white funiture. Probably will end up with one of those nice white jackets as well.


Boo:wink8:

[Flame]

I forgot to mention the hairbrush in my acoustic guitar.

[diddidit]

Wifey hears sweet little voice from not-quite-3-year-old little did's room: "Mommy, I barfed!" She investigates. He has found, opened, eaten, and, yes, barfed, Paas easter egg dye. I'm sure you can imagine what his carpet now looks like!

did

[Flame]

I'm sorry you guys, I'm laughing out loud here, can't help it :roll:

[kittynh]

this is so funny!!!!

White? What's white????

even though my kids are older, I work with 3 year olds....
white is a vague memory.

[ManfredVonRichthoffen]

I apparently actually swung by the chandaleers at my grandmother's house as a kid. They had a desk close enough to a low one that I was able to get a hold and swing.

[Chaos]

When I was 3 years old or so, I actually bit off part of a drinking glass! (Can´t remember why, though...)

I must have chewed the bit-off piece a bit (I don´t remember it too well), because after I spit it out, my parents were fitting the glass together to make sure I didn´t swallow any parts.

[ManfredVonRichthoffen]

I was taken to the hospital for eating a christmas tree lightbulb. you know, the big old ones. Apparently it was on the tree and lit, and I ran up and chowed down before they could stop me.

I've always been a bright boy.

[MoeFaux]

Naptime.
Artistic child.
Wakes up and is quiet.
Dirty diaper.
Bare walls.

You figure it out. I'm sorry, Mom.
------------------

My friend drank paint as a child - his dad had put white paint in a milk bottle, and said friend, being three, thought it was milk. He took a big swig.

[kittynh]

Naughty Moe!

Pool Boy is famous for chucking his empty bottle from his crib into the hallway and yelling, "MORE!" to his parents. Our kids I trained to yell, "MORE PLEASE!"

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by Whomp
Laugh. It's all you can do. I have 2 four year olds. Sometimes I feel like if I start yelling or crying, I won't be able to stop.


Whomp!


Whao, kudos to you for raising 4 two year olds, and before that-4 newborns!


I love this thread!

Hey, my artistic child (2nd) has been the only one to decorate his crib in poo too! My one year old hasn't figured out how to get her clothes off yet, but her diaper is another matter. We don't let her sleep without clothes on in only a diaper, so maybe we won't find her decorating anything - we have yet to find out I'm sure!


My one year old has just worked very hard to unplug the vacuum cleaner (with her tongue out while she worked), and now has walked over to my chair with the end. It won't go any farther, and now she is complaining very loudly. Poor baby!

Yeah, I only stop them when they try to plug in things , specially when they aren't cords. Unplugging keeps her busy for a few minutes, and is relatively safe.

I have to put the vacuum away now.

[Whomp]

Ahh yes...
The lovely feces artwork. We've actually had to create special clothing to keep our son from getting to his diaper.

We're currently in the "spit juice and milk on the floor" phase.

Then there was the items up the nose phase. Rocks, food, chewed paper, wood etc...

And the "chew holes in all oyur shirts" phase...

and the "unlock the windows, push out the screens and escape" phase.

and the "now that dad screwed all the windows shut, break the glass to push out the screens and escape" phase

Laughing becomes much more difficult with time.

Whomp!

[Eos of the Eons]

"now that dad screwed all the windows shut, break the glass to push out the screens and escape" :eek:

do they ALL do that? Ouch! yeah, that isn't so funny. Oops, that's two four year olds. All my kids are in their rooms, so I'm less distracted now.

Aiy yi yi! Kids! My middle son will be six soon. He's a sweetie, and no longer tries to escape. I can't wait till the one year old starts to figure that escapism out...ack!

[Whomp]

My son is the more difficult one. My daughter is to the point where she understands what you say to her.
That helps.
Aside from the occasional shrieking fits, and having to be careful what i bring into her enviornment, she's pretty easy.

My son Isaac on the other hand...
Makes me worry.

Whomp!

[Zep]

Little miss Zeplette (when about 18 months) watched grandpa paint her room. Paint can in room with lid on, child unattended while mum answers phone...

Lid taken off full paint tin with screwdriver, hands dipped in paint, paint dribbled across NEW carpet, daubed on front of TV, daubed on newly painted walls in lounge-room, ditto bathroom door, ditto carpet into berdroom...child found by mother standing on top of grandpa's ladder daubing paint on ceiling.

...child is lucky to be still alive, quite frankly...

[Whomp]

ahhhh Zep, that reminds me!
Markers! Or pens, or pencils, or crayons.

My daughter has impeccible radar for a writing utensil from which your attention has wandered for several picoseconds.

Our living room has flat (read - nonwashable) paint.

I finally gave up one day, sat down and started coloring on the wall with her. Now it's become a family activity.

First time visitors to my home usually spend their first few minutes reading our livingroom walls. Pictures, sayings, tag-lines ... they're all there.

If ya can't beat 'em ,,,

Whomp!

[kittynh]

well, I've just poured a full bottle of the Draino stuff into my kitchen sink...it isn't working.

could it be that Draino doesn't work on marbles? Younger daughter was changing her fish bowl...

[Eos of the Eons]

Oh no! Yep, you have to fish them out cause draino would take a while to eat through marbles :)

[Zep]

Who says women can't do plumbing!

[ZeeGerman]

Just the other day I brought home two servings of sushi for me and my wife. I left it unattended on the table while I changed clothes and my three year old daughter just opened one serving and ATE ALL THE FISH. I was left with 15$ worth of plain rice , ginger and wasabi.

Dang.

Zee

[Peach Jr.]

Well, your daughter has good taste! :D

Our 20-month-old has learned to do all kinds of interesting things. She can now operate the TV, the CD jam box in her room (she can even put a CD in...sometimes she puts it in the correct way), and 3 different remotes. She is also learning how to work her father. If she yells loudly enough, followed by a big sunny smile, she gets whatever she wants. Not a good sign.

[richardm]

Originally posted by Eos of the Eons
Oh no! Yep, you have to fish them out cause draino would take a while to eat through marbles :)

They will be very clean marbles, however :D

The only thing that I can think of that I did which caused some upset to my parents* was, at the age of about 18 months, to squeeze through some railings on a balcony, resulting into a fall of about twelve feet onto on ice rink. Apparently I landed exactly on the top of my head, which they believe saved me from serious injury. Ahem.

* I'm sure there are others, but this is the only one I can think of ;)

[Dragonrock]

So, there we were, at a bat cave somewhere in Arizona. I was 4 and bored, (the bats weren't flying, we were still waiting). I found a small piece of tire and inserted it into my nose. In my attempts to extract it I shoved it far enough up that it was intruding on my sinus. I shreaked in agony for a time until my mother realized that something really was wrong with me and they took me to the hospital. She said I sat quite still while the doctor extracated the vulcanized rubber. I don't remember any of it.

[Flame]

The TV is busted.

:coal:

[kittynh]

Kitten was a little world traveller. She enjoyed flying, and when crossing the Atlantic she would find someone that was really phobic about flying and explain to them how neat it would be if the plane crashed in the ocean. She would show them the emergency card and point out the cool raft we would get to use, and where the neat life jackets were that came with flashlights! She would say, "boy, I hope the plane goes down!"
this was at age 3!

[Johnny Pneumatic]

When I was little I would put on about 12 pair of underware
at one time because I liked how it felt.

[Bentspoon]

I was once staining my deck while up on a ladder. My 5 year old son was the only one around the house with me. He was in the den playing with his Nintendo. I lost my footing and came down on my head and back. I hit hard and it scared me. My wrist was broken in three places and you could clearly see that. I was afraid to move because I didn't know what I had done to my back.

I called to my son. He stuck his head out the den door, "Yeah Dad" "Call 911 and tell them I have taken a bad fall" "OK, Dad, just as soon as I finish this level" and the door was promptly slammed shut while I lay there. Needless to say he didn't FINISH THE LEVEL!!!

Then there was the time that the same den had water flooding into it. I found out later that "someone" had put rocks down the drainage pipe and filled it up so far that I had to dig 20 feet up to clear it. When I asked him about it, I found out how cool it was that he could put so many in - fascinating

Bentspoon

[Eos of the Eons]

Originally posted by Bentspoon
I was once staining my deck while up on a ladder. My 5 year old son was the only one around the house with me. He was in the den playing with his Nintendo. I lost my footing and came down on my head and back. I hit hard and it scared me. My wrist was broken in three places and you could clearly see that. I was afraid to move because I didn't know what I had done to my back.

I called to my son. He stuck his head out the den door, "Yeah Dad" "Call 911 and tell them I have taken a bad fall" "OK, Dad, just as soon as I finish this level" and the door was promptly slammed shut while I lay there. Needless to say he didn't FINISH THE LEVEL!!!

Then there was the time that the same den had water flooding into it. I found out later that "someone" had put rocks down the drainage pipe and filled it up so far that I had to dig 20 feet up to clear it. When I asked him about it, I found out how cool it was that he could put so many in - fascinating

Bentspoon

I have a kid that would have finished the level before calling 911 too, and two darlings who would never do that-I think...

Yow! So, what did you do to him :)

[Cecil]

Blue fingerpaint + bottom of of white futon his parents made = mucho fun for 3-year-old Cecil.

Then there was the time I carved my name with a knife into the top of my grandmother's antique leather coffee table. She was pretty angry about that. :o

[Nyarlathotep]

They still do things when they get older.

Our when our youngest was six or seven she decided to take a permanent marker and write "Mom is the Best" (at least that's what she says she meant to write) on the fridge. Unfortunately she is not a good speller, so she wrote "Mom is the Beast"

She gets very embarrased now when that gets brought up.

[Flame]

I went to an information meeting about becoming a foster parent (as if we don't have enough kids already!)
Anyhow, while I was actively taking part in the conversation and telling the social workers how much I wanted to be a foster mum, James (1) was on the other side of the room with a crayon in one ear and was busily working another up his nose...
He had never stuck anything anywhere in his body before, I guess he was saving it for this particular day.

It was pointed out to me by someone else - I'm surprised they called me back :o

Toni

[jimlintott]

They still do things when they get older.

That is so true.

Recently my lovely little angel (fourteen going on thirty) decided she would test my ex (her mom) and I by telling us she is gay. She lives with me so I got it in person her mom got it by email.

I basically said I love you no matter what. Your happiness is what is most important to me.

Her mom said 'I want grandchildren'.

I passed :) .

[kittynh]

every gay couple I know has children. That's because I teach them. Right now the school has at least 10 lesbian couples, and all with multiple children. Can you say, "Sperm Bank?" I know WAY more than I ever want to know about frozen sperm, and how it's important so the kids all have the same dad. Also, one couple I know the moms take turns having the kids...but in all the cases one mom stays home and the other works (very tradtional). the kids are actually pretty well adjusted. They do better than the kids with the "new" divorce.

[Flame]

Out of the mouths of babes ...

*(you should have seen Graham's panicked face when this came out!)*

Anna - four years old:

'Maybe you could move out Dad, Mom could get a new husband.
You know, Dad doesn't like you because you have dogs and you fight all the time.'

Cue hubby's protests:

'I never said that!'

Hmmm... amazing insight? or just a little sh*t disturber?

;)

Considering we don't fight very often at all I'm thinking the latter, but you never know - maybe she's his little confidante? :roll:

Toni

[Candace]

Nine year old taking shower (and he takes loooooooong showers).

Sudden *crash!* from bathroom.

Mom (that'd be me): Are you all right?
Son: Ummmm... I don't know....

Son comes running out, wrapped in towel. Hand on parts.

Son: Mom, you said that if something happens I should tell you and I won't get in as much trouble, right?
Mom: What happened?
Son: *repeats statement regarding trouble*
Mom: WHAT happened!?
Son: *repeats statement third time*
Mom: WHAT THE @#$% HAPPENED?

Son: *insert much stammering here* Well every time I take a shower I play with it and pull on it, and it's ok, but this time I was pulling on it and IT BROKE OFF!!!!! I'm sorry, Mom, Ididn'tmeantodoit...
Mom: WHAT!? WHAT broke off?

Mom is now checking for bleeding from -something- breaking off...

Son: The thingy you hang the towels on in the tub. What did you THINK I meant?

Mom laughs, superglues towel rack and never tells boy what she thought he might have played with until it broke ...

[Flame]

Anna again... four year olds are so cute :mad:

Anna: Mom, you're a pig. You like to eat a lot, so you're a pig you know.

Mom: *splutter cough*

Toni

[Chanileslie]

My son who is Down Syndrome uses sign language in addition to his oral communication, but I know very little. One day at breakfast my son looks as me and says:

Morgan: Mom [puts hand palm down under chin and wiggles fingers]

Me: What does that mean, Morgan?

Morgan: Pancakes [we were eating pancakes at the time]

Me: Okay. Yes, pancakes are good.

Morgan: [giggle, giggle, giggle]

Next day at dinner time:

Morgan: Mom [makes sign again]

Me: Yes, Morgan, we are having spaghetti right now, we will have pancakes this weekend for breakfast.

Morgan: [giggle, giggle, giggle]

This sort of exchange goes on for several weeks. At odd times, my son would call my attention and then make that sign at me and giggle. The next time I was at Morgan's school, I mentioned to my son's aide that he kept doing that symbol to me. She looked astounded before laughing and explaining to me that that symbol meant PIG!! The boy was calling me a PIG!!! :)

[Flame]

Hi Chani

You probably know that our son Nick also has Down's - I am just wondering, are you finding that signing is very helpful? Is your son learning to sign at school and if so, do you use the signs at home as a family? Nick is in his first year in school (special school) and we have a booklet of signs - I should really use them more I think...

Toni

[Soapy Sam]

My friend's son (about 3 or 4 at the time) helped his mother polish the new car. With a sanding block.

I am not married and have no kids.
Nor have I been divorced or jailed for murder.
These facts may be related.

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by Flame
Hi Chani

You probably know that our son Nick also has Down's - I am just wondering, are you finding that signing is very helpful? Is your son learning to sign at school and if so, do you use the signs at home as a family? Nick is in his first year in school (special school) and we have a booklet of signs - I should really use them more I think...

Toni

Yes, my husband has mentioned that you and Graham have a Down's child.

I have found that for Morgan, signing has been of some use since before he learned sign language, he had a hard time comunicating in school, but since learning sign, he has at least one person with whom he can communicate, and it has cut down on the negative behavior caused by the frustration of not being understood.

Also, as an added bonus, I think it gives Morgan a sense of accomplishment because he realizes he is different than the other kids and he realizes that other kids pick things up more quickly than he does, but here is something that he knows that the other kids don't, and he learns very quickly. At one point he was learning up to 20 new signs a week. That rate has really slowed down in the last few years. Morgan really enjoys learning sign language. It has always been his favorite subject until recent years; math has overcome sign as his favorite subject. He loves math.

As for signing at home, no, we don't sign with Morgan at home. We probably should, and I have meant for years to take a signing course or two, but have not had the time, and as I have less trouble understanding Morgan than most people, I didn't make it a priority. Morgan does use his sign language sometimes at home, and we do know some basic signs, so we are aware of them now.

Of course, I am not sure about your Nick's speech developement, but most of the people I know with Downs have no trouble speaking clearly. My son is not one of those people though.

Please feel free to PM me or email me if you want to discuss issues with Downs. I am always happy to find someone with whom to discuss the particular problems associated with a disabled child.

[Graham]

I'm bumping this thread for a brief ode to a four-year-old . . .

Four year old gets out of bed, excitedly pull her new clothes out of the bag (they're not even put away yet) and storms in to mommy and daddy's room and dares to rouse the slumbering beast (that's me ;) ) to demand that the tags be removed.

She pulls the sweater on over bed hair that makes that guy from the muppets look like he just stepped out of the salon and the trousers on over little legs that are goosebumped and covered in the little wounds of childhood (where do they get those bruises from?).

Daddy makes her take the sweater off again to put on a T-shirt underneath and her older sister pushes her to get past and down the stairs but nothing can dim her excitement. The new clothes are very cool and grown-up - she looks like a mini-me of her mom and she's very pleased with herself.

Mommy gives her yoghurt for breakfast, which she likes and even lets her eat it on the couch.

"Be careful not to get it on your new clothes," mommy says . . .

. . .

Daddy's in the bathroom getting shaved and trying not to step on the baby (who's industriously transferring his toy car collection from his bedroom to the bath).

He's just about done when the morning peace (such as it is) is shattered by a banshee scream (sorry Tone :) )

There is yoghurt in her hair, across her face, down her sweater, along her trouser leg, on the couch, on the cushion, on the dog, on the floor, on the ceiling (alright, maybe not the ceiling). The sheer scale of the disaster is stunning, like a little chernobyl in the living room.

Mommy rages for a moment and daddy (quietly, very, very quietly) laughs in the bathroom.

Then with one of those little miracles of motherhood, mommy cleans all the yoghurt off and she goes to school, still dressed in her new clothes and still cool (though smelling slightly of yoghurt).

Four is a great age to be!

Graham

[Ladyhawk]

Caution: Never refer to a bar of soap as a cake of soap! At least, not in front of small children in your home...

Momma and Papa Hawk often did this. As a result, at the age of 3 or 4, I attempted to eat a bar of soap, thinking it must be pretty tasty since everyone calls it 'cake'. I didn't get much down before my mom caught me but I certainly wasn't going to eat much of it, having learned the hard way that this cake was AWFUL! But, Momma Hawk didn't wait for explanations and immediately had Papa Hawk come home to take me to the hospital.

It's funny looking back on it now, but I'm sure I scared the hell out of my parents. Embarassing as it is, I'm sharing this story just as a caution to all parents with small children. As you know, they hang on to every word we say.....

;)

[Chanileslie]

My son likes to wake Nyarlathotep in the morning. Most mornings, he usually attempts to tickle Nyarlathotep until Nyarlathotep begs him to stop.

Of course the last few mornings, my son has developed a new way to wake Nyarlathotep - my son is very fond of teen slasher flicks, and he likes to pretend that he is the bad guy for some reason - so the last two mornings, he has put on his Jason mask (ala Friday the 13th), and pretend that he is stabbing with an imaginary knife Nyarlathotep - of course in those slasher flicks, they show the stabbing in slow motion, so that is how Morgan does it, slowly. It is quite amusing to watch. :D