A modest proposal to control Iraqi insurgents

[DrChinese]

The Bush administration is finally making some important progress in putting down the insurgency in Iraq:

1. US forces are talking tough. That should really deter these jackals. For example, one commander, Maj. Gen. Ray Odierno, said yesterday:

"The perception out there right now is that we are sitting back and being defensive. But I want to make sure you understand my intent: that I want to be lethal. Make them understand, when they come up against us, they’re going to be killed or captured."

2. And following up on that with action:

"The U.S. military has reacted forcefully to an upsurge in guerrilla activity in central and northern Iraq. On Monday, six insurgents were killed in gunbattles and 99 suspects were reportedly detained in a series of sweeps."

And also:

Operation Ivy Cyclone II: 15 homes of "suspected terrorists" were destroyed after US tanks gave the occupants 5 minutes to vacate before being destroyed.

Good, as far as it goes. But I don't think it goes far enough or fast enough for the current situation. So I think the following modest proposal is the next logical step:

3. After every terrorist attack in Iraq against allied forces, we retaliate in kind. Suppose they randomly kill one of our soldiers. We get all the people of that village out, line them up, and shoot five of them. If they shoot down a helicopter with 12 men in it, we kill 60 Iraqis.

That will teach them, once and for all, not to mess with American and British forces. Since there are only about 5,000 cowardly insurgents (according to Bush administration claims) out of over 20 million total population in Iraq, the general population will rapidly turn against them and will point them out for us to capture or kill. Let's get the average Iraqi helping us, I say!

I should add that the Germans used this technique with great success during WWII, in France and in other occupied lands.

[Tmy]

Yeah that worked out so great in Nam!!!!! Im sure we have some napalm left over.


Geez, you cant go around randomly killing Iraqs, you know the people we are out to help/save. Do you believe Bush when he says its 5000 insurgents. What a crock.

I really dont think that these guys are all terrorsists. I picture alot of them are pissed off locals.. People naturally develope a resentment of their occupiers which often spills overto violence.

[Agammamon]

Turn the situation around and think about how it would motivate you.
Let's see, someone invade the US (for whatever reason, I don't think iut really matters).
You don't like them and are fighting them to drive 'em away.
Everytime you kill one of them, they kill 10 random people from the area.
What do you think the average US Joe would do?

A) Give you up for a little peace and quiet.
B) Take up arms and join you in the fight for liberation.

You've got 2 guesses and the first one doesn't count.

[Graham]

You know, sometimes I think this forum suffers badly for the lack of a sarcasm smiley . . .

[DrChinese]

Originally posted by Graham
You know, sometimes I think this forum suffers badly for the lack of a sarcasm smiley . . .

So true. Maybe it should be :S

[Jon_in_london]

Why not just build a big security wall around Falluja and Tikrit?

[Luke T.]

Is Saddam's mama still alive? If so, we should kidnap her and point a gun to her head on live TV and announce that if Saddam doesn't surrender himself in one hour, we will shoot his mama in the head. Then if he doesn't surrender, we will shoot his mama and then the world will finally know what a sick sonofabee Saddam really is.

[Mr Manifesto]

Originally posted by Luke T.
Is Saddam's mama still alive? If so, we should kidnap her and point a gun to her head on live TV and announce that if Saddam doesn't surrender himself in one hour, we will shoot his mama in the head. Then if he doesn't surrender, we will shoot his mama and then the world will finally know what a sick sonofabee Saddam really is.

:roll: :roll:

[DrChinese]

Originally posted by Jon_in_london
Why not just build a big security wall around Falluja and Tikrit?

That's a great idea! Sorry I didn't think of it first.

[Graham]

Originally posted by Jon_in_london
Why not just build a big security wall around Falluja and Tikrit?

Maybe the Israelis could be persuaded to keep extending their wall until it encompasses the entire Middle East?

[Chaos]

While we are at it, why don´t you just "saturate" Iraq with Nukes from north to south, declare victory and go home?

(disclaimer: this was sarcasm!)

[Cain]

Originally posted by Graham
You know, sometimes I think this forum suffers badly for the lack of a sarcasm smiley . . .

I instantly thought of Swift after seeing the title.

[Larspeart]

Bring back good old Roman Decimation.

Lets say a rowdy city (Tikrit) has a rally, it turns violent, and they end up killing, I don't know, 40 iraqi government officials/cops, 2 journalists, and 5 US/Ally soliders.

We line up everyone who is within the 'rally/riot area' and. . . decimate them. Kill every tenth person, on the spot.

'Sides, those that will die will be all for it, what with their 7 figs and all. . .

;)

[DrChinese]

Originally posted by Larspeart
Bring back good old Roman Decimation.

Lets say a rowdy city (Tikrit) has a rally, it turns violent, and they end up killing, I don't know, 40 iraqi government officials/cops, 2 journalists, and 5 US/Ally soliders.

We line up everyone who is within the 'rally/riot area' and. . . decimate them. Kill every tenth person, on the spot.

'Sides, those that will die will be all for it, what with their 7 figs and all. . .

;)

Ah, decimation: "decim" - tenth... Those Italians came up with that, eh? Maybe they should stay in Iraq after all.

[hammegk]

Let's pull out all friendly forces & proceed to test a few of those old neutron bombs we probably have lying around somewhere.

Hmm, is that sarcasrm?

[Nikk]

Perhaps if you just tried killing males and male children you would get a kinder, gentler society.

Besides women are usually worse shots.

[Supercharts]

Round up the usual suspects.
Interrogate them as to who in their village is an active terrorist or B'aath Party loyalist.
Be nice to them.
When they refuse to answer bring in a squealing pig. Hook up a blood transfusion tube between the pig and the suspect.
Tell them if they still don't answer and tell us the absolute truth we will divert the tap so the pig's blood goes into the suspects veins, they will never get into Paradise, have the 19 virgins, and when they soon die because of the pig blood in their body we will bury them under the pig sty.
Start a high speed voice recorder to capture it all on tape.
Simple, effective, cruel, heartless - yes!
:D

[DrChinese]

Private Joker: "How can you shoot women and children?"

Door gunner: "It's easy - you just don't lead them as much!"

-Stanley Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket"

[Larspeart]

Originally posted by DrChinese
Private Joker: "How can you shoot women and children?"

Door gunner: "It's easy - you just don't lead them as much!"

-Stanley Kubrick's "Full Metal Jacket"

God, that was a great line from a great movie. One of the only things in 'The Second Half' (since it was like watching two totally different movies) that was worth watching.

Yeah, a guy at work brought up the pigs blood idea back after 9/11. I love it. VERY effective.

pig-blood transfusion, plus burial under an active pig-sty. If that doesn't send them to hell, I don't know what will.

I have a serious problem with the notion that you can't shot women and children. History has shown us that women and children are JUST as vile, evil, and dangerous as the men in war-torn regions, and hence, should be treated just the same.

I COMMEND any soldier who is faced with an armed, dangerous, and hostile child with an AK-47 in HER hand, and has the will and cojones to shot.

[Garrette]

There is nothing that says "You absolutely cannot under any circumstances shoot women or children."

Soldiers from western nations are provided with Rules of Engagement to fit their environment. The ROE (said as three letters, not a word) sometimes change during the same operation. They will also change locally depending on the mission and the political environment.

Specifics of the ROE can vary greatly, but they will never deny a soldier the right of self defense, even if the threat comes from a woman or child.

[rikzilla]

Here's what we do.

Kill all the Imams and sundry "holy men"... (using a "deniable" third party)
Concoct, then bring forth forensic evidence that the Imams were all murdered by Ba'athists.
Promote the acceptance of "new" holy men who proclaim that Allah has told them to support the Iraqi council and help rebuild Iraq. Also the holy men will proclaim in unison that any person who continues to conduct terrorist operations is the spawn of Satan. That their lungs will fill with bile, and their bellies with worms.

But seriously folks;

The Arab world is still largely tribal and superstitious. Back in the middle ages, when Europe was about as culturally mature as the Arabs are now, we know that control was maintained over the common people, the lords/barons, and even the kings by who? The Pope of course! Control the religion, you control the people AND their leaders.

Islam controls the terrorists....we should seek to control Islam if we want real success over those superstitious nuts.

-z

[Jocko]

Originally posted by DrChinese


Good, as far as it goes. But I don't think it goes far enough or fast enough for the current situation. So I think the following modest proposal is the next logical step:

3. After every terrorist attack in Iraq against allied forces, we retaliate in kind. Suppose they randomly kill one of our soldiers. We get all the people of that village out, line them up, and shoot five of them. If they shoot down a helicopter with 12 men in it, we kill 60 Iraqis.

That will teach them, once and for all, not to mess with American and British forces. Since there are only about 5,000 cowardly insurgents (according to Bush administration claims) out of over 20 million total population in Iraq, the general population will rapidly turn against them and will point them out for us to capture or kill. Let's get the average Iraqi helping us, I say!

I should add that the Germans used this technique with great success during WWII, in France and in other occupied lands.

I think you're missing an important point - every time they kill one of our soldiers, they usually wind up waxing a dozen iraqis in the process anyway. So much for the balance of violence!

I'm well acquainted with the pedigree of such "modest proposals" and this is a good example, but it goes without saying that the US doesn't make it a business of killing civilians indiscriminately - no matter what Ion likes to believe.

[The Don]

How would we react if our country were invaded ?

[Larspeart]

We are better marksmen then the iraqi's. Also, we are smarter then they are (both in general, and in the instance of where, how, and at who we throw explosives). I think that we would have far fewer 'collateral casualties' resulting from militia strikes.

Oh, and we have access to far better arms then stupid AK-47's. High-powered hunting rifles with excellent scopes are all over. While I'd never feel bad for whatever country invaded us, I would boggle at the lose of life they would suffer during their retreat, LOL!

[rikzilla]

Originally posted by The Don
How would we react if our country were invaded ?

All invasions are not equal.

If Canada invaded and toppled the government of AlGore, I'd be on a street corner waving a Maple leaf!


If Mexico invaded and installed Ralph Nader as president, then of course...we would all start waging war on public transportation, and the tyrants who use it, like our esteemed brethren in Palestine!!

-z

[The Don]

Originally posted by Larspeart
We are better marksmen then the iraqi's.

Source please


Originally posted by Larspeart
Also, we are smarter then they are (both in general, and in the instance of where, how, and at who we throw explosives).

Source please

Originally posted by Larspeart
I think that we would have far fewer 'collateral casualties' resulting from militia strikes.

expressing an opinion, fine

Originally posted by Larspeart
Oh, and we have access to far better arms then stupid AK-47's. High-powered hunting rifles with excellent scopes are all over. While I'd never feel bad for whatever country invaded us, I would boggle at the lose of life they would suffer during their retreat, LOL!

Don't "dis" the humble AK47