Staggeringly stupid ad statement

[Miss_Kitt]

For some time, my husband and I have used as an "in-joke" a tag-line to a radio ad that appeared a few years ago:

"E-wood! It's wood, with the cool touch of technology!"

This shows such a staggering lack of understanding of what the prefix "e-" is meant to imply that we were enchanted.

Well, today I confirmed that what I thought I heard in an ad on Tuesday is really what I heard. It concerns "foreclosure-level" sales prices on new homes by a particular builder. Then the announcer blithely adds,

"These have to be sold to make room for new floor-plans!"

After I stopped laughing--okay, mostly stopped laughing--I wondered whose great idea that was? Do they really think that 'floor-plans' are stacked up like mattresses or appliances in a warehouse? That the existance of houses with old floorplans means new ones can't be used?? Or do they just think that their audience will think that?

I just had to share, some things would be dismissed from a comedy movie as being too implausible...

Miss Kitt

[madurobob]

:) make "room" for as in, "room in our budget"

Please buy these houses so we will have money to build more, with a different layout.

eWood? I can only imagine...

[cwalner]

I always thought EWood was a really really really bad director.



or an actor with big blue dreamy eyes.




or what I get when I look at pictures of him on the internet. (either one from above)

[alfaniner]

I recently saw an ad for a bandage that claimed some sort of technology in it. I can see if tech helped make it, but unless it looks like something a Borg would wear, I doubt there's any tech in it.

[Whiplash]

"Honey, your E-Dinner is done! We are having E-Steaks and E-Potatos, and some lovely E-Pie for desert".

[NobbyNobbs]

I recently saw an ad for a bandage that claimed some sort of technology in it. I can see if tech helped make it, but unless it looks like something a Borg would wear, I doubt there's any tech in it.

Why does "technology" have to equate to "electronics"?

If the bandage is made of a polymer that conforms to the shape of your skin, that's technology. If it contains a chemical that speeds the healing process, that's technology. Heck, if it's got a picture of Spongebob that glows in the dark, that's technology too.

[shadron]

I always thought EWood was a really really really bad director.



or an actor with big blue dreamy eyes.




or what I get when I look at pictures of him on the internet. (either one from above)

John Wood? John Wood is a great actor. http://www.dougmacaulay.com/kingspud/sel_by_actor_index_2.php?actor_first=John&actor_last=Wood

[Miss_Kitt]

@ madurobob: yeah, I figure it's ad-speak for, "Buy these at cut-throat prices because we need to make the next round of loan-payments on our half-builts, just-cleareds, and just-permitteds." But without scaring John Q. Public away from buying from a builder that is clearly about to go tits up...

[steve s]

Have you seen those lame ads for the Eco-Canteen? It's just a metal bottle. It's not even a decent Thermos since it's not insulated.

Steve S.

[LyTinWeedle]

Have you seen those lame ads for the Eco-Canteen? It's just a metal bottle. It's not even a decent Thermos since it's not insulated.

Steve S.

Of course it's not insulated! We support free-range BTUs and cruelty-free calories! Have you seen the dark, cramped quarters thermos-ers keep their heat in?!? Thermal energy was meant to live free!

LTW

[leftysergeant]

John Wood? John Wood is a great actor. http://www.dougmacaulay.com/kingspud/sel_by_actor_index_2.php?actor_first=John&actor_last=Wood

Elijah? Frodo?

eta:Ed Wood, director of Plan Nine from Outer Space?

[cwalner]

Elijah? Frodo?

eta:Ed Wood, director of Plan Nine from Outer Space?

you got em both right!

Never seen actual picture of Ed Wood, but he was played by Johnny Depp (mmm Yummy) in the sorta biopic

[ponderingturtle]

:) make "room" for as in, "room in our budget"

Please buy these houses so we will have money to build more, with a different layout.

eWood? I can only imagine...

There is an easy way to make iWood, just put an apple logo on a board and double the price.

[Psi Baba]

Stupid advertisements (is that redundant?) like that make you want apply some e-wood (or iwood) directly to someone's forehead. Really hard.

[sphenisc]

John Wood? John Wood is a great actor. http://www.dougmacaulay.com/kingspud/sel_by_actor_index_2.php?actor_first=John&actor_last=Wood

Matthew 16:14

[grunion]

My Brazilian friend got me some of that "wood with the cool touch of technology" for Christmas. He called it




wait for it





Natal e-wood.





pah-DUM

[GodMark2]

For some time, my husband and I have used as an "in-joke" a tag-line to a radio ad that appeared a few years ago:

"E-wood! It's wood, with the cool touch of technology!"

This shows such a staggering lack of understanding of what the prefix "e-" is meant to imply that we were enchanted.

Well, today I confirmed that what I thought I heard in an ad on Tuesday is really what I heard. It concerns "foreclosure-level" sales prices on new homes by a particular builder. Then the announcer blithely adds,

"These have to be sold to make room for new floor-plans!"

After I stopped laughing--okay, mostly stopped laughing--I wondered whose great idea that was? Do they really think that 'floor-plans' are stacked up like mattresses or appliances in a warehouse? That the existance of houses with old floorplans means new ones can't be used?? Or do they just think that their audience will think that?

I just had to share, some things would be dismissed from a comedy movie as being too implausible...

Miss Kitt

If this was an ad for a manufactured home builder, then it makes perfect sense. They build the house in sections on a factory floor, then it sits in a lot waiting for someone to buy it. When someone buys it, it gets shipped to their land and snapped together like LEGO bricks (well, really big, heavy, and complicated LEGO bricks). So, they could be running out of room in their storage lot, it being filled with older models, and wanting that room for newer, more salable, units built with newer floor plans.

[Dorian Gray]

Stupid advertisements (is that redundant?) like that make you want apply some e-wood (or iwood) directly to someone's forehead. Really hard.
IWood. Apply directly to the forehead!

[Furcifer]

I just saw a commercial from a major hair colouring company that claims it (if I heard correctly) accentuates the "high lights in your hair" and the "low lights"?

[Cavemonster]

"Honey, your E-Dinner is done! We are having E-Steaks and E-Potatos, and some lovely E-Pie for desert".

Is it Chair E-Pie?

[Starthinker]

The think is, why would I buy the old floor plans? The new ones sound fresh and exciting!

Reminds me a story Scott Adams retells in one of his books about a new company that made machines for factories. When their salesmen were asked questions about certain options they would say it was't available now but that would be on the next line of machines. The buyer would then say they'd wait for the next line because that was the option they wanted. The problem was all the potential buyers did the same thing so they never sold enough of the first line to stay in business for the next line. Their salesmen killed the business.

[stilicho]

Not sure why this is so surprising. Where I work, the Marketing Department puts a little "i" or a little "e" in front of almost every new product we sell.

Why buy a thing when you can have an iThing?

I don't see the problem as long as the contribution margin is there.

[X]

e-wood?
Sound like an internet porn site for those favoring phalluses.


On the topic of stupid sales pitches...

I was in the West Edmonton Mall some years back, eating something unmemorable.
Behind me was a sales booth, where the guy was selling overpriced hair straighteners.
I hear him proclaim proudly, and not a little boastfully, to one young lady that his product was the best, because:
"The hating parts are ceramic, which means they heat the hair from the inside of the hair outwards."

I was stunned, and very nearly (I wish I did) turn around and correct the sales guy on the basic points of thermodynamics.

[Foolmewunz]

My favorite marketing ploy that works.... (best since "9 out of 10 dentists recommend" and/or "Corinthian leather")



Bwahaha, I don't want no regular old fashioned plain mints. Why I've got me some Extra Professional Mints!


I mean, ..... I mean .....

First, are they extra professional? Or just professional, but named Extra? And look, Ed, they cost just the same as those other non-professional mints! Why we'd be danged fools not to buy these Extra Professional Mints.



And it works. People are buying them and falling for the sales pitch. Just WTF is a PROFESSIONAL mint?

A mint that makes its living from being a mint?

Does it have a degree?

And I was pleased to just learn that it harnesses the revolutionary power of peppermint oil! Peppermint oil!!??? They say this like it's a new discovery and not something that's been known for several centuries!

And it has a rough surface and those loving folks at Wrigley inform us that:
a) many dental professionals recommend tongue cleaning for oral health
b) with the rough surface and the minty mintiness, it makes your tongue feel cleaner (bolding mine)

Yeah.... it may not be any cleaner, but it sure feels cleaner.

http://www.betteroralhealth.info/orbit_us/media-area/press-releases/unique-new-mint-from-wrigley-cleans-tongue-and-reduces-oral-bacteria-by-up-to-74/index.htm


And don't forget. This isn't some candy counter sweet. It's a "Professional". Step back ma'am. We'll take care of this. We're professionals, after all.

And the public is buying it! P.T. Barnum was right.

[ImaginalDisc]

There used to be ads on for some excersize machine that made me livid with its stupidity. Its design supposedly "Let you do twice the work in one effortless motion."

Twice the work =/= effortless.

[Skeptical Greg]

What about " Inventory Reduction Sale "...

Duuuuuh !

[Miss_Kitt]

If this was an ad for a manufactured home builder, then it makes perfect sense. They build the house in sections on a factory floor, then it sits in a lot waiting for someone to buy it. When someone buys it, it gets shipped to their land and snapped together like LEGO bricks (well, really big, heavy, and complicated LEGO bricks). So, they could be running out of room in their storage lot, it being filled with older models, and wanting that room for newer, more salable, units built with newer floor plans.

No, this was an actual, wood-frames and drywall, poured foundation in the ground -type builder. Incredible, isn't it?

[Random]

Why does "technology" have to equate to "electronics"?

If the bandage is made of a polymer that conforms to the shape of your skin, that's technology. If it contains a chemical that speeds the healing process, that's technology. Heck, if it's got a picture of Spongebob that glows in the dark, that's technology too.

If its a strip of cotton cloth that is tied to you in such a way as to slow down bleeding, that's technology. "Technology" is a pretty broad concept.

[MIKILLINI]

When it's KFC and they are pushing their new grilled chicken, "Unthink Dinner" seems like an odd slogan.

[JoeTheJuggler]

I've seen two not well-thought out restaurant ads recently.

One--for Chili's, I think--shows the competition testing their food like in a focus group. All their food is made out of cardboard. All I can think at the end is, "Eat at Chili's because it's better than eating cardboard". That's setting the standard pretty low!

The other is for one of the fast-food chains (I disremember which one). Their conceit is showing people eating various competition's fast-food and it's all invisible. The tagline is something like, "Compared to us, the competition doesn't look like much." All I can think of is, "Eat at our chain--it's better than nothing."

[YoPopa]

If its a strip of cotton cloth that is tied to you in such a way as to slow down bleeding, that's technology. "Technology" is a pretty broad concept.

When you get stuck with a point-E-stick
Try this stuff and get well quick

I think I saw that on a cave wall.

[Suddenly]

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk31/Elbow_Jobertski/coalbillboard2.jpg

[dasmiller]

I don't have it anymore, but there was an ad in many magazines for a TV antenna that "actually pulls signals right out of the air!" well, duh!
The bestest line was "Not technical razzle-dazzle but the sheer aesthetic superiority . . ."
Just what I'd want in an antenna.

ETA: Ah - found it: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/89q1/dish.186.html
(and fixed the quote)

[JoeTheJuggler]

I don't have it anymore, but there was an ad in many magazines for a TV antenna that "actually pulls signals right out of the air!" well, duh!
The bestest line was "Not technical razzle-dazzle but the sheer aesthetic superiority . . ."
Just what I'd want in an antenna.
Ah--truth in advertising!

I remember seeing some aphrodisiac ads in the back of a girly magazine (back in the '70s) that used the words "Spurious!" and "Placebo!" in their copy.

They were obviously depending on potential customers having no idea what those words mean! :D

[Suddenly]

The same thing when I see "6-5 blackjack available every day!!!" signs at the casino.

You see, regular blackjack pays 3-2 ($3 for every $2 wagered) for a blackjack, while this game pays the lesser amount of 6-5.

However, the numbers are bigger and some people aren't smart enough to figure this out so the casino can advertise a negative attribute as a positive..

[Cactus Wren]

"Honey, your E-Dinner is done! We are having E-Steaks and E-Potatos, and some lovely E-Pie for desert".

Woody Guthrie did a nice riff on his own era's version of the "E-" prefix, in a song mocking the joy of eating atomic sandwiches while you drink your atomic soda pop.

The think is, why would I buy the old floor plans? The new ones sound fresh and exciting!

I actually dealt once with an individual who wondered why anyone would want to preserve musty dusty worn-out old-growth forests when thriving up-and-coming new forests would obviously be so much better.

(best since "9 out of 10 dentists recommend" and/or "Corinthian leather")

Four out of five doctors who tried Camels ... (http://cactuswren.livejournal.com/6274.html)

[HansMustermann]

Why does "technology" have to equate to "electronics"?

If the bandage is made of a polymer that conforms to the shape of your skin, that's technology. If it contains a chemical that speeds the healing process, that's technology. Heck, if it's got a picture of Spongebob that glows in the dark, that's technology too.

Looking through dictionary.com to make sure I haven't missed anything, technology does _not_ mean a piece of bandage. It might mean the _process_ of applying science that produced a bandage, or the sum of applied science knowledge that made that bandage possible, or such abstract things.

Electronics is so far the only thing where the meaning of "technology" has actually drifted far enough to actually mean the tangible product. That's it.

So why we expect it to be electronics, is because really that's the bloody meaning of the word. If you use "technology" for a tangible piece of something (as opposed to a process, know-how, or the like), guess what? It actually means "electronics."

[HarryHenderson]

...buying from a builder that is clearly about to go tits up...
I've been using that saying regularly (regularly because I'm compelled to, for whatever the reason) since back-in-the-day and I'll bet 75% of the people to whom I've said it had NO CLUE what it meant. Too funny!

I've seen two not well-thought out restaurant ads recently.
One--for Chili's, I think--shows the competition testing their food like in a focus group. All their food is made out of cardboard. All I can think at the end is, "Eat at Chili's because it's better than eating cardboard". That's setting the standard pretty low!...
Seems at least one of parties involved in these 'rocket scientist' ad campaigns had enough arrogance to think you already had a belief that Chillis' food is better than cardboard. A campaign could be made that clearly shows their food is actually worse than cardboard. :duck:

[vIQleS]

"It's like dusting with a magnet"

Seriously?

I was in a bread shop looking for my usual cheese and bacon pullapart, and the girl behind the counter tried to sell me a regular loaf of bread. Her sales pitch:

"It doesn't have any preservatives in it!"

I looked at her for a couple of seconds and then said "I'm sorry - your sales pitch is that this loaf of bread is going to mouldy sooner?"

She was completely speechless..

Some people just don't think things through...

ETA: I just thought of another one... Girl in the mall offering free samples of some handcream moisturiser stuff...

"It's really good because it doesn't have any chemicals..."

I'm not sure who was more stupid - her, or me for trying to explain to her for 20 mins why it did in fact have chemicals in it...