Widely acclaimed CT doomsday prophet webbot declares death by SpaceGoatFarts.

[LightinDarkness]

The CTers have long bought into webbot - a program that scans the internet and looks for highly used phrases that the makers use to make predictions that the CTs like. As you would imagine, using such a program would create constant 100% doom predictions 100% of the time, and what other flavor of prediction would CTs support except doom all the time?

As skeptics and rational people, why this is innately flawed is obvious. A web bot is just finding what people are talking about, which has no relationship to reality. There is no reason to believe that because something is talked about a lot, that it is going to happen - take Y2K. Among is widely acclaimed predictions include that winter in the northeast United States will be cold (SHOCKING) and that an earthquake will happen on a certain day (SHOCKING, since you know quite a few happen EVERY single day).

Sadly for the CTers, the doomsday prophets behind web bot have announced that because recent predictions were so utterly doom and gloom (even more than usual - and that is hard), that this will be their last report as they prepare for the end, which the web bot says will come by July.

So what, exactly, have internet users revealed to be the source of our imminent doom by July?

SpaceGoatFarts.

Yes.


The data sets have the [sleep disturbances] lexical
structure cross linked over to the SpaceGoatFarts entity, and a
temporal link is established that has this phenomena as a 'trailing'
wave behind the [increase in gov't whistleblowers] by about a
month or so. However, please note that the data sets are
indicating via the immediacy and shorter term value sets that this
phenomena is on-going at this moment.


You would think with things like this even the CTers couldn't take it seriously, but over on ATS the legions of woos are STILL DEFENDING THIS. Absolutely breathtaking (and includes original reports):
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread457126/pg1

So everyone, I guess thats it. Been nice knowing you all. We'll all be dead by July due to SpaceGoatFarts.

[JoeyDonuts]

Meh. Makes more sense than Xenu herding us around a volcano and nuking it from an orbital DC-9.

[LightinDarkness]

Meh. Makes more sense than Xenu herding us around a volcano and nuking it from an orbital DC-9.

I wonder if the flatulence from the space goats will have that much power? I mean if there are a lot of them, it could be deadly.

[Ohnoes]

Well it seems July is the new end...I hope they let me enjoy the 4th before I'm hauled away to the SpaceGoat.:rolleyes:

[TjW]

Well, clearly the only thing to do is to start a crash program to send a fleet of space-going "Arks" out to keep the human race alive.
To honor their timely discovery of this catastrophe, it's only fair that the CTs go first. Their paranoid delusions natural caution as explorers will keep us all safe.

[Drudgewire]

The CTers have long bought into webbot - a program that scans the internet and looks for highly used phrases that the makers use to make predictions that the CTs like.


I'm amazed SpaceGoatFarts are a bigger threat to humanity than JessicaBeilNude.

Also, FINALLY A reason to use this emote: :goat

[1337m4n]

I wonder if the flatulence from the space goats will have that much power? I mean if there are a lot of them, it could be deadly.

I'm afraid you misread. You're thinking "space goat farts". The article is clearly talking about "SpaceGoatFarts".

Big difference.

[LightinDarkness]

My apologies, as we all know the infallible doomsday prophets called it the SpaceGoatFart entity, which may be completely different from goats farting in space. Either way, the end is nigh :D

What I just can't understand is why the woos pay these idiots money (yes, some of the doomiest predictions are subscription only), even though this is a clear case where one could demonstrate again and again that the bot is completely wrong on anything but the most general predictions like predicting an earth quake will happen on some day when lots of earthquakes happen every day. The peddlers of this woo claimed that the election would be canceled, that the financial system would collapse and we'd be thrown back in the stone age in February, etc. All of them -wrong, wrong, wrong.

Now it predicts SpaceGoatFarts, and the woos defend this. I am seriously losing my faith in humanity - how can anyone be this stupid? Remember - these people vote. They go outside. They interact with people. Thats the REAL doomsday thought of the day.

[aviolet4u]

hmmm the one where the big earthquake was to occur near the mid states in December seemed the most logical. The rest are ummm what the ****?

[ktesibios]

Hmm, Space Goat-

didn't he have a talk show or something?

[boloboffin]

Is it too late to develop SpaceGoatBeano?

[JoeyDonuts]

So. An entity...presumable extra-terrestrial or extra-dimensional - has been observing us, maybe for centuries, and decides to make contact with certain members of the population. It decides to take a name that will facilitate ease of communication with humanity, and it chooses the name SpaceGoatFarts?

Screw the Fermi Paradox. Nuke the rest of the galaxy if that's the best they have to offer.

[Cl1mh4224rd]

You would think with things like this even the CTers couldn't take it seriously, but over on ATS the legions of woos are STILL DEFENDING THIS. Absolutely breathtaking (and includes original reports):
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread457126/pg1


The link doesn't seem to be working for me. I get a 404 error.

Anyway, I did a Google search and the first hit was this gem:

...that Space Goat Farts thing, I take it as Gamma Rya Bursts, a lot are happen'in right about now. (Source (http://unclebobs.infopop.cc/eve/forums/a/tpc/f/8971047813/m/9871004533/p/1))


It makes me glad that our local Space Goat has been awfully quiet lately. Good diet, I suppose. :p

[Foolmewunz]

The link doesn't seem to be working for me. I get a 404 error.

Anyway, I did a Google search and the first hit was this gem:




It makes me glad that our local Space Goat has been awfully quiet lately. Good diet, I suppose. :p

I highly recommend clicking the link just to see the ATS customized 404 error page. They clearly know they're inhabited by every whackjob in the known universe; it's frakkin' hysterical.

[Alareth]

Actually, based on my own informal web survey, the apparent greatest threat to mankind is yellow teeth.

It's mentioned somewhere on every page on all the news sites.

[LightinDarkness]

Actually, based on my own informal web survey, the apparent greatest threat to mankind is yellow teeth.

It's mentioned somewhere on every page on all the news sites.

A minor detail the prophet CT webbot forgot to mention - apparently the farting space goats have teeth problems.

[JoeyDonuts]

I highly recommend clicking the link just to see the ATS customized 404 error page. They clearly know they're inhabited by every whackjob in the known universe; it's frakkin' hysterical.

It almost makes me wonder if the folks who founded and admin ATS just sit back and crack up at the sheer idiocy that comes through their doors 24-7.

I can picture that graphic on the 404 error page being printed out next to the computer in a thousand smelly basements nationwide.

[Klimax]

It almost makes me wonder if the folks who founded and admin ATS just sit back and crack up at the sheer idiocy that comes through their doors 24-7.

I can picture that graphic on the 404 error page being printed out next to the computer in a thousand smelly basements nationwide.

I'd say it could have been nice joke except for the source...

[LightinDarkness]

The link doesn't seem to be working for me.

Aww, they apparently removed it - it was quite hilarious. It was a new thread and there was someone in it trying to explain how SpaceGoatFarts was a real entity..and they were serious.

[Comsat Angel]

Hey, no fair! I thought we had until 2012!