First name address

[arcticpenguin]

It is common in the U.S. to be addressed by your first name (or even a nickname), even by strangers. I don't like this. Just because someone calls me on the phone to try to sell me something does not mean he is on a first name basis with me.

[Mercutio]

I always figure that is the first sign that someone is trying to sell me something, Mr. Penguin. I blame the Carnegie course.

[El Greco]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
It is common in the U.S. to be addressed by your first name (or even a nickname), even by strangers. I don't like this. Just because someone calls me on the phone to try to sell me something does not mean he is on a first name basis with me.

Maybe they call you Arctic just because they think that Mr. Penguin would be somewhat humiliating.

[Jeff Corey]

Originally posted by Mercutio
I always figure that is the first sign that someone is trying to sell me something, Mr. Penguin. I blame the Carnegie course.
It's part of the "foot in the door" technique. Before we were on the Do Not Call registry, I hung up whenever a stranger called and addressed me by some variant of my first name, or when I answered to dead air (computer switching to next available telemarketer).

[Tanja]

Originally posted by Jeff Corey

It's part of the "foot in the door" technique. Before we were on the Do Not Call registry, I hung up whenever a stranger called and addressed me by some variant of my first name, or when I answered to dead air (computer switching to next available telemarketer).

I am obviously lucky I have always lived in countries "untouched" by telemarketeering. Do they get the names from phone books or from elsewhere? In Holland they put only the initial and last name in the phonebook, e.g. Mr. A. Penguin.

I dread the idea of someone phoning me and saying "hi Tanja are you interested in buying..." but I would dread even more being asked "hi Mrs. T. are you interested in buying...

[Tanja]

I strayed off the topic...I quite like people calling each other by fist name at work, as it is not so hierarchical. In Croatia there are too many subtle varieties of how you are supposed to address other people in relation to their status. We also have the equivalent of French "tu" and "vous" which makes it even more complicated.

I only dislike if someone calls me by my first name and expects me to call him or her by their last name.

[Kilted_Canuck]

For me, being call Mr. ---- just creeps me out. Maybe its just that all through school, I have been called by some variant of my first name, and never by my last name unless I was in deep trouble (fortunately a very rare occasion). I don't know, being called by your last name may be something that takes getting used to.

[arcticpenguin]

First name address is apparently not a problem for Bubba Bubba Bubba. (http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=817&ncid=757&e=10&u=/ap/20031201/ap_on_fe_st/bubba)

[Agammamon]

No, but he still has the problem of being called Bubba rather than Mister Bubba.

I have gone only by my last name for so long that only my family and very, very old friends (the few that are left) call me by my first (or indeed, even know it).

[Michael Redman]

I agree. Don't dispense with that little formality until we have at least been introduced and had a conversation. Better, have some sense of the nature of the relationship, and don't use familiarity until you're familiar.

Another such annoyance for me is when people call me "Mike" without even asking. I don't like to be called "Mike", and it isn't my name, so don't address me so. It happens much more frequently here in Minnesota, for some reason.

[Dragonrock]

I don't mind it too much when people use my first name as 8 years in the army has made me tired of hearing my last name butchered. But, I still don't like when strangers call me by my first name, or my last name now that I think about it. I just don't like being addressed by strangers.

[kittynh]

Arctic, you know it's hard for most humans to tell a male from a female penguin. that leaves the problem of are you a Mr. or a Ms.? Arctic just is playing it safe/

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
It is common in the U.S. to be addressed by your first name (or even a nickname), even by strangers. I don't like this. Just because someone calls me on the phone to try to sell me something does not mean he is on a first name basis with me.

I once was married to a Robert who went by his middle name. I always found it amusing when people would call my house and ask for Bob (a name my ex never went by even when he used Robert - he was called Rob or Robby) because we knew instantly that it was a telemarketer. I would tell the caller, "I am sorry, but there is no Bob living here." And terminate the call.

We had a video store that was run by two very irritating dolts, which we referred to as Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum. I rented some movies one day and the guy kept talking about Bob, and as I was not used to hearing my former spouse referred to by that name, I was confused as to whom he was speaking. I looked at him quizzically and asked, "Whose Bob?" To which he replied, "Your husband." I explained that my husband's name was not Bob, and he insisted that it was. I left after informing him that I would let my husband know that he has a new name. :-)

I don't mind when people use my first name. I usually can tell it is a poseur because rarely do people who don't know me pronounce my name correctly. Heck, it took me several years to teach Nyarlathotep to say my name correctly, and he still messes it up sometimes. And yet, I still married the man!! ;)

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by kittynh
Arctic, you know it's hard for most humans to tell a male from a female penguin. that leaves the problem of are you a Mr. or a Ms.? Arctic just is playing it safe/
The full beard is a solid clue.

[BTox]

Originally posted by Michael Redman
Another such annoyance for me is when people call me "Mike" without even asking. I don't like to be called "Mike", and it isn't my name, so don't address me so. It happens much more frequently here in Minnesota, for some reason.

As Sgt. Hulka would say, lighten up... Mikey.

[Ove]

The tradition with using people's last name is more or less died out over here, a pity i think. I allways try, when i meet new people, to probe a little and find out if they are comfortable with being called by their first name. A lot of elderly people are not and it, to me at least, represents a minimum of politeness to adress people the way they wan't to be adressed.

We also have the "Tu / Vous" equivalent (Du / De) and there are people who preferred to be adressed "De" until you get closer aquainted which doesn't bother me a bit.

We practically don't have telemarketers in Denmark, it is forbidden to sell anything but newspaper subscriptions via telemarketing so that side of the problem frankly i do not know anything about :p . We do have people calling about opinion polls and such though and if any of them start out wit "Hi Ove, i would like to ask you ....." The he is sure to speak into a silent phone.

But i must admit the first time i heard that way of adressing people was when i heard press conferences from the White House. I think it was Reagan i noticed first starting his answers with "Well Johnny that question is .......". I still remember thinking that it was a crude attempt to try to make things "informal" and to demonstrate that the prez, was "one of the guys". In short, it sucked!!;)

General politeness IMHO would be that you start out probing when you meet somebody for the first time, you'll quickly notice how the person likes to be adressed. Starting out with a "Hi Joe howza doing" to a stranger, is plain rude.

[Michael Redman]

Originally posted by BTox


As Sgt. Hulka would say, lighten up... Mikey. It's funny you say that, as soon after I posted that, I got an email from a friend who called me Mikey.

Some people have preempted the use of their first names by not telling anyone what it is. What can you call L. Ron Hubbard? (besides dead) Not "L". "Ron" seems wrong as well. You would be forced to call him "Mr. Hubbard" I would think.

So, AP, start calling yourself "A. Penguin", and people will have to address you as "Mr. Penguin".

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Michael Redman
It's funny you say that, as soon after I posted that, I got an email from a friend who called me Mikey.

Some people have preempted the use of their first names by not telling anyone what it is. What can you call L. Ron Hubbard? (besides dead) Not "L". "Ron" seems wrong as well. You would be forced to call him "Mr. Hubbard" I would think.

So, AP, start calling yourself "A. Penguin", and people will have to address you as "Mr. Penguin".

Good point, G. Gordon Liddy is generally called Mr. Liddy by his callers. The more informal moniker used is "The G-man".

[BTox]

Originally posted by Michael Redman
It's funny you say that, as soon after I posted that, I got an email from a friend who called me Mikey.



My real name is Richard, and I have been referred to, via email from business colleagues around the world, as:

Richard, Rich, Richie, Rick, Dick, and my favorite, Ricky. Only my Dad calls me that!

[tim]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
It is common in the U.S. to be addressed by your first name (or even a nickname), even by strangers. I don't like this. Just because someone calls me on the phone to try to sell me something does not mean he is on a first name basis with me.

I got a call yesterday at work from a telemarketer. he asked me my name. I said "Walker". For the rest of the - short - conversation, he addressed me as "Walker". Now in the UK that's not commonly a first name, so unless this guy was calling from, say, the US, he must have been a touch slow.

[tim]

Originally posted by Chanileslie


I don't mind when people use my first name. I usually can tell it is a poseur because rarely do people who don't know me pronounce my name correctly. Heck, it took me several years to teach Nyarlathotep to say my name correctly, and he still messes it up sometimes. And yet, I still married the man!! ;)

Pardon me for being forward, Chanileslie, but this begs the question "How DO you pronounce your name?" You sign yourself Chani. I make no assumptions, so your name could be "Chanileslie" in full. Or "Chani Leslie" for that matter! :D :D :D

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by tim


Pardon me for being forward, Chanileslie, but this begs the question "How DO you pronounce your name?" You sign yourself Chani. I make no assumptions, so your name could be "Chanileslie" in full. Or "Chani Leslie" for that matter! :D :D :D

Chani is pronounced Shawnee and it is my first name. Leslie is my middle name. My full first name is Chantelle though I rarely use it.

No need to be pardoned. You have committed no crime in asking. :)

[onehitter]

What torques me more than anything is when they mispronounce my last name. It is quite simple and the way it has been pronounced is unreal. As soon as the offender makes this mistake, I immediately hang up. LEARN TO READ.

[tedly]

. in today's society - don't call your kids by their middle name. I go by a nickname off my middle name, and it is now impossible to fill out forms in any way that agrees with my signature,

And of course forms now rule the world.
It used to be good for telemarketers, 'cause if anyone called asking for Robert they got the big silence, but then Canadian Blood Services started calling to remind me that it's time to bleed. And with their paranoia about getting the wrong person they won't use anything on their forms except your name as on your birth certificate or photo ID.

'If they give you lined paper, write the other way.'
'It profiteth a man not to kick against the pricks.'

What to do, what to do.

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by onehitter
What torques me more than anything is when they mispronounce my last name. It is quite simple and the way it has been pronounced is unreal. As soon as the offender makes this mistake, I immediately hang up. LEARN TO READ.

I feel you pain!! My last name is a common, ordinary every day, English word, and people still manage to mispronounce it.

[tim]

Thanks Chani.
We have another Lesie on the forum and we've covered this before. In the UK "Leslie" would be a male spelling. The female form would be "Lesley". Odd, huh?
:D

[Garrette]

I don't mind being called by my first name, but I despise the presumption on the part of some people to use it without either permission or familiarization.

I also find their are environments when last name (with either rank or title in front of it) are more appropriate and conducive to getting more respect. Some societies/organizations/people are that way.

I confess to playing political games with names myself. When meeting someone of import, I make a conscious decision on how to address them. I have on more than one occasion used the first name of my counterpart (without permission) to establish a sense of equality or even superiority. It can work when done carefully.

[Walter Wayne]

Originally posted by Agammamon
I have gone only by my last name for so long that only my family and very, very old friends (the few that are left) call me by my first (or indeed, even know it). Cosmo!

[Walter Wayne]

Having two first names, this isn't a problem with me. However, I do often get called by my last name without the Mr. in front of it.

Walt

[Chanileslie]

Originally posted by tim
Thanks Chani.
We have another Lesie on the forum and we've covered this before. In the UK "Leslie" would be a male spelling. The female form would be "Lesley". Odd, huh?
:D

I honestly don't know about the spelling conventions the masculine version vs the feminine version in the US. I was actually named after my father whose first name was Leslie, so it is possible that it is masculine way of spelling it in the US as well. Although to be honest, I have always thought of Leslie as a woman's name. I don't believe that I have ever met another person with the name Leslie. Now that is odd as it seems to be a common enough name.

BTW, sometime within the Forum history, there must have been another Chani because I originally attempted to register with that as my username, but it was kicked back as already in use. Chanileslie is my backup username. :-)

[Frankie]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
It is common in the U.S. to be addressed by your first name (or even a nickname), even by strangers. I don't like this. Just because someone calls me on the phone to try to sell me something does not mean he is on a first name basis with me.
I agree with you whole heartedly. I find it ill mannered to be addressed by a stranger or cold-caller by my first name. Such occurrences are met with a stony silence by me, until said individual correctly addresses me in an appropriate manner. If it wastes their phone bill, so much the better.

I much prefer only to be addressed only by my first name/nick name by family or friends only. My nick name is used only by family and a few select close friends.

[BTox]

Originally posted by Frankie

I agree with you whole heartedly. I find it ill mannered to be addressed by a stranger or cold-caller by my first name. Such occurrences are met with a stony silence by me, until said individual correctly addresses me in an appropriate manner. If it wastes their phone bill, so much the better.

I much prefer only to be addressed only by my first name/nick name by family or friends only. My nick name is used only by family and a few select close friends.

Another one. Lighten up, Frankie. Or do you prefer Francis?

[Ove]

Another one. Lighten up, Frankie. Or do you prefer Francis?

No, i agree. I also think a stranger should at least try to find out how i prefer to be called. If i had a call from someone trying to obtaind something from me and this complete unknown guy starts out with a very intimate "Hi Ove, now have i got an offer for you......" I would instantly feel negative and possibly terminate the call rather fast.

It has nothing to do with me being stubborn or old fashioned, it has something to do with the caller trying to get familliar with me before i have decided if i want to be familliar with him. Nobody likes pushy people.

[reprise]

Some people have preempted the use of their first names by not telling anyone what it is. What can you call L. Ron Hubbard? (besides dead) Not "L". "Ron" seems wrong as well. You would be forced to call him "Mr. Hubbard" I would think.

L. (Lafayette) Ron Hubbard was pretty much always referred to within the CoS as "Ron" or "LRH".