Aaaaiiieeeeee! Another weeping statue.

[arcticpenguin]

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=573&ncid=757&e=3&u=/nm/20031204/od_nm/odd_italy_blood_dc


ROME (Reuters) - Faithful and curious flocked to a town in southern Italy on Thursday after reports that a bronze statue of a saint was weeping blood.

[The Don]

"...... 'This miracle couldn't have come at a better time said local hotelier' Guiseppe Pantoloni 'the winter season has always been quite disappointing for us'

Mr Pantoloni was recently seen holding a big bag of cash and chuckling like a loon 'I mean, thanks to the benevolence of our Lord I can finally afford that Ferrari I've always promised myself' he said

Elsewhere around the town, homeowners are converting spare bedrooms, outhouses and chicken houses into deluxe pilgrim accommodation 'was our own dear Lord Jesus not born in a stable' said Mrs Cappolotti as she scraped away the worst of the guano 'I feel pilgrims will really look forward to the full coop experience'

Always eager to exploit every opportunity, local residents also claim to have a yiddish speaking fish, a tomato with the name of the prophet in it and a statue of Shiva which looks exactly like a statue of Shiva.

'We had considered publicising a plate of calimari shaped like Cthulhu' said Mayor Quimbino 'but we thought those cynical b@$t@rdi from the JREF board may come here on a debunking mission'"


OK so I made that up, but what about...


Scaramozzino said the town was getting ready to provide hospitality services for pilgrims

[Upchurch]

Bronze, huh? That's a new twist. Usually weeping statues are made of pourous material that allows water to wick up or down and seep out cracks made when scultping or cleaning the eyes of the statue. Not sure how that works with bronze. Maybe something else is involved...

[sackett]

Originally posted by Upchurch
...Not sure how that works with bronze. Maybe something else is involved...

Are you (ghasp!) suggesting trickery? Oh sir! Consider the fate of your soul!

[El Greco]

Ah, it seems that since Fellini was making fun of religious hysteria in Italy (in "Dolce Vita") not many things have changed...

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by sackett

Oh sir! Consider the fate of your soul! No, it's cool. I keep them on the shelf with my other CD's.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by Upchurch
Bronze, huh? That's a new twist. Usually weeping statues are made of pourous material that allows water to wick up or down and seep out cracks made when scultping or cleaning the eyes of the statue. Not sure how that works with bronze. Maybe something else is involved...
The answer is obvious: JESUS!

[Sir, have you taken your meds?]

To answer that question and more: JESUS! JESUS! JESUS!

[Sir, if you dont mind, we've run out of straightjackets, you'll just have to be dragged kicking and screaming back to your room against your will...]

[geni]

Come on even the local church thinks that it's fake (all though if a few people wan't to see it and then donate some money who are we to stop them...).

[Luciano]

Aaaaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhhhhh, not another f*****g weeping statue!!! :mad:
In Italy this kinds of things it's a joke, only the catholic fundies believe in this s**t.
The timing it's bizarre as usually in Italy the statues weep only at election's times:D
Originally posted by The Don
Always eager to exploit every opportunity, local residents also claim to have a yiddish speaking fish, a tomato with the name of the prophet in it and a statue of Shiva which looks exactly like a statue of Shiva.
Right on!

Ciao
Luciano

[calladus]

How come you never hear about a happy statue? Why weeping? Why not laughing? Would it be so hard for a deity to lighten up?

The Christian religion always talks about the "Good News" or "Joyful News". They celebrate in choral Hallelujahs and are overwhelmed with joy - so why do the statues always weep?

Maybe it's just easier to apply tears now and then than it is to figure out how to make a statue laugh.

Here's a very odd thought - Fantasy authors (such as Anne Rice) have often mentioned a Vampires tears are comprised of blood. Could this be the mark of a vampire? It's just as possible as the mark of something holy, right?

Okay, I know that was weird. :D

[Luciano]

Originally posted by calladus
How come you never hear about a happy statue? Why weeping? Why not laughing? Would it be so hard for a deity to lighten up?



In Italy they weep because we Italians are bad. We, as a people, are losing faith in god and in the catholic church, we have sex (not only to procreate), we try to enjoy our lives, nearly half of us vote for the left and, over all, we don't give so much money to the church as in the past.:D
It appear happiness it's not exactly a sin but but... it should be! (at least in the mind of the god's experts).

Ciao
Luciano

[triadboy]

I want to see a vomiting statue

[Keziah Mason]

I think a statue of Cthulhu that eats people would be more impressive.

[Keneke]

Originally posted by Luciano


In Italy they weep because we Italians are bad. We, as a people, are losing faith in god and in the catholic church, we have sex (not only to procreate), we try to enjoy our lives, nearly half of us vote for the left and, over all, we don't give so much money to the church as in the past.:D
It appear happiness it's not exactly a sin but but... it should be! (at least in the mind of the god's experts).

Sounds like America, only sub "Protestant" for "Catholic".

[Luciano]

Maybe fundies, of every religion, are more anti-fun than pro-god(s) :D
They are unable to enjoy life so they try to make also the life of others miserable.
But they can be a great source of fun... I remember when I said to a catholic fundie I was a satanist (not true). Aaaahhhhhh, I learned a human face can truly become many shades of purple and red, very amusing :D

Luciano

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Luciano
Maybe fundies, of every religion, are more anti-fun than pro-god(s) :D
They are unable to enjoy life so they try to make also the life of others miserable.
But they can be a great source of fun... I remember when I said to a catholic fundie I was a satanist (not true). Aaaahhhhhh, I learned a human face can truly become many shades of purple and red, very amusing :D

Luciano

You should have promoted Cthulhuism when you had the chance. It has such a wonderful effect on fundies.

[Luciano]

But in Italy only few people know about the Elder Gods.
We could use some Cthulhuist missionaries.

Luciano

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Luciano
But in Italy only few people know about the Elder Gods.
We could use some Cthulhuist missionaries.

Luciano

Don't worry. They will rise from the unfathomable depths of the sea and enter your country when the time is right.

[Flaherty]

If you were an Italian statue of Mary, what would you have to cry about?

Maybe Michelangelo's David stood you up in favor of Donatello's David.

Maybe the pigeons keep crapping on you.

[Schizobunny]

I hate it when my bronze statue starts weeping blood. It stains my carpet.