Humphreys
12th December 2003, 01:38 PM
I have gone through some severe changes in the last few years. Here is my story, and my experience with God:
God: Hello my child.
Humphreys: Hello? Who is that?
God: I am your creator. I am God. I haven't been seeing much of you, have I?
Humphreys: Errr, no sorry about that. I have been busy with...thi...
God: Liar. I have been watching you, I am all-knowing, remember? You have some questions for me. Go ahead.
Humphreys: If you really are all-knowing, don't you already kno...
God: Yes. The answer is yes, I do. Now get on with it.
Humphreys: Okay. Do we have free-will?
God: Good question. Yes. I created you, and I have an unimaginable love for my creation. As a display of my love, I have given you free-will. You are free to walk the path of your choosing.
Humphreys: That sounds great, but a little too good to be true. There must be a catch. We really are free to walk any path?
God: Yes, but you must know that only one path leads to me.
Humphreys: What happens if we take that path?
God: Eternal life and happiness.
Humphreys: And the other paths?
God: Eternal suffering.
Humphreys: We are free to make any decisions, but if we make the wrong ones you will punish us for all eternity?
God: Yup.
Humphreys: ...
God: You're lucky. A lot of people don't even know I exist. I am invisible, remember? In fact, anyone who is intellectually honest, emotionally strong and has an inquiring mind will likely come to the conclusion that I don't.
Humphreys: ...
God: I've been creating an awful lot of intelligent, skeptical minds lately...
Humphreys: ...
God: Don't look at me like that. I don't like watching people suffer. You think I enjoy this, don't you?
Humphreys: ...
Humphreys: So...why allow people suffer at all?
God: What is this? A religious lesson for dummies? I thought you knew all this?
Humphreys: Well?
God: It's free-will, innit.
Humphreys: But why create people with very skeptical minds, that are very likely to be unbelievers?
God: It would be pretty boring if everyone was alike, wouldn't it?
Humphreys: But would you at least admit that the most skeptical, logical man alive is very, very unlikely to become a believer, and therefore you - being his creator - should at least share some of the blame?
God: Next question please.
Humphreys: It has been shown that many people act in a certain way due to slightly damaged or abnormal brains. Serial killers for one. These people have very little control over their actions, some even honestly believe that they have committed atrocious acts in your name. A bang to the head can make someone a totally different person. How free are our choices really, when apparently determined completely by our brain created personality?
God: That's the same questi...
Humphreys: Why should anyone have to suffer due to circumstances that are completely under your control?
God: Next...question...please. I won't ask again. You hear those screams coming from below? That's where you're going if you don't move onto the next question. I will punish you for eternity. Just because I love you, doesn't mean I won't put you in excrutiating agony for ever and ever!
Humphreys: Hang-on. This is a dream isn't it? I am delusional. You aren't real.
God: And what makes you say that?
Humphreys: Liv Tyler doesn't really have three breasts. And that unicorn is smoking a pipe. Unicorns don't smoke pipes.
God: Does this mean I won't know you for the rest of your life?
Humphreys: I can't help it. There is no reason for me to believe you exist. This personal experience is just an hallucination and partly a product of my need to believe and feel that there is something else; something more.
God: Look, I know I gave you intelligence and the ability to reason rationally, but these tools are only there to fool you. They are there to make things more difficult. I promise you, if you read the Bible with the belief that it is the word of god, and acknowledge that anything that seems a little ridiculous or clearly false, has simply been interpreted incorrectly, or is all part of a divine plan that we cannot hope to understand, you will become an instant believer.
Humphreys: I have done so. I read the book back when I was a believer. I prayed and was full of faith for years and it brought me nothing. I now see religion for what it really is.
God: You must stop using your faulty human logic to determine truth. I know human logic and reasoning has taken mankind to a great understanding of how the laws of the universe work, and our technological advances have been phenomenal. We even managed to put a man on the moon and eventually we will be able to control the universe, populate other planets, death will be a thing of the past and we will essentially be Gods ourselves. Yes, we have acheived great things, but, you must throw all that away and become brainless in order to see the real truth.
Humphreys: Why do you keep saying 'we'? You are implying that you are human.
God: Just a slip of the tongue.
Humphreys: You act so human. You make mistakes, you have strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and needs just like us.
God: I am perfect. I am nothing like you. How dare you insult your creator in this way?
Humphreys: You are exactly like me, and I am exactly like you. You have nothing over me. We are no different.
God: I created you. I can make you vanish at the click of my fingers.
Humphreys: I can do likewise.
Humphreys: You exist only in my mind. You will be whatever I want you to be. I can make you nice, or evil. I can make you all-powerful, or all-useless. I can make you an elephant with several arms, or a snake, or even a pirate.
Humphreys: I am your god. You didn't create me, I created you.
Humphreys: I don't like what you are. I will destroy you and put you out of my mind forever.
You are gone.
You were a great comfort to me in a very difficult part of my life, but I am past that now.
Imaginary friends are security blankets for the emotionally weak.
Goodbye forever, my friend. I no longer need you.
God: Hello my child.
Humphreys: Hello? Who is that?
God: I am your creator. I am God. I haven't been seeing much of you, have I?
Humphreys: Errr, no sorry about that. I have been busy with...thi...
God: Liar. I have been watching you, I am all-knowing, remember? You have some questions for me. Go ahead.
Humphreys: If you really are all-knowing, don't you already kno...
God: Yes. The answer is yes, I do. Now get on with it.
Humphreys: Okay. Do we have free-will?
God: Good question. Yes. I created you, and I have an unimaginable love for my creation. As a display of my love, I have given you free-will. You are free to walk the path of your choosing.
Humphreys: That sounds great, but a little too good to be true. There must be a catch. We really are free to walk any path?
God: Yes, but you must know that only one path leads to me.
Humphreys: What happens if we take that path?
God: Eternal life and happiness.
Humphreys: And the other paths?
God: Eternal suffering.
Humphreys: We are free to make any decisions, but if we make the wrong ones you will punish us for all eternity?
God: Yup.
Humphreys: ...
God: You're lucky. A lot of people don't even know I exist. I am invisible, remember? In fact, anyone who is intellectually honest, emotionally strong and has an inquiring mind will likely come to the conclusion that I don't.
Humphreys: ...
God: I've been creating an awful lot of intelligent, skeptical minds lately...
Humphreys: ...
God: Don't look at me like that. I don't like watching people suffer. You think I enjoy this, don't you?
Humphreys: ...
Humphreys: So...why allow people suffer at all?
God: What is this? A religious lesson for dummies? I thought you knew all this?
Humphreys: Well?
God: It's free-will, innit.
Humphreys: But why create people with very skeptical minds, that are very likely to be unbelievers?
God: It would be pretty boring if everyone was alike, wouldn't it?
Humphreys: But would you at least admit that the most skeptical, logical man alive is very, very unlikely to become a believer, and therefore you - being his creator - should at least share some of the blame?
God: Next question please.
Humphreys: It has been shown that many people act in a certain way due to slightly damaged or abnormal brains. Serial killers for one. These people have very little control over their actions, some even honestly believe that they have committed atrocious acts in your name. A bang to the head can make someone a totally different person. How free are our choices really, when apparently determined completely by our brain created personality?
God: That's the same questi...
Humphreys: Why should anyone have to suffer due to circumstances that are completely under your control?
God: Next...question...please. I won't ask again. You hear those screams coming from below? That's where you're going if you don't move onto the next question. I will punish you for eternity. Just because I love you, doesn't mean I won't put you in excrutiating agony for ever and ever!
Humphreys: Hang-on. This is a dream isn't it? I am delusional. You aren't real.
God: And what makes you say that?
Humphreys: Liv Tyler doesn't really have three breasts. And that unicorn is smoking a pipe. Unicorns don't smoke pipes.
God: Does this mean I won't know you for the rest of your life?
Humphreys: I can't help it. There is no reason for me to believe you exist. This personal experience is just an hallucination and partly a product of my need to believe and feel that there is something else; something more.
God: Look, I know I gave you intelligence and the ability to reason rationally, but these tools are only there to fool you. They are there to make things more difficult. I promise you, if you read the Bible with the belief that it is the word of god, and acknowledge that anything that seems a little ridiculous or clearly false, has simply been interpreted incorrectly, or is all part of a divine plan that we cannot hope to understand, you will become an instant believer.
Humphreys: I have done so. I read the book back when I was a believer. I prayed and was full of faith for years and it brought me nothing. I now see religion for what it really is.
God: You must stop using your faulty human logic to determine truth. I know human logic and reasoning has taken mankind to a great understanding of how the laws of the universe work, and our technological advances have been phenomenal. We even managed to put a man on the moon and eventually we will be able to control the universe, populate other planets, death will be a thing of the past and we will essentially be Gods ourselves. Yes, we have acheived great things, but, you must throw all that away and become brainless in order to see the real truth.
Humphreys: Why do you keep saying 'we'? You are implying that you are human.
God: Just a slip of the tongue.
Humphreys: You act so human. You make mistakes, you have strengths, weaknesses, beliefs and needs just like us.
God: I am perfect. I am nothing like you. How dare you insult your creator in this way?
Humphreys: You are exactly like me, and I am exactly like you. You have nothing over me. We are no different.
God: I created you. I can make you vanish at the click of my fingers.
Humphreys: I can do likewise.
Humphreys: You exist only in my mind. You will be whatever I want you to be. I can make you nice, or evil. I can make you all-powerful, or all-useless. I can make you an elephant with several arms, or a snake, or even a pirate.
Humphreys: I am your god. You didn't create me, I created you.
Humphreys: I don't like what you are. I will destroy you and put you out of my mind forever.
You are gone.
You were a great comfort to me in a very difficult part of my life, but I am past that now.
Imaginary friends are security blankets for the emotionally weak.
Goodbye forever, my friend. I no longer need you.