Zinger Needed

[SkepticalScience]

When someone says, "I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered". . . I usually just want to smack them.

But they are usually so sincere about it, that I wish I had a coment back that would really make them question their sureness of that statement. A gentle touch, rather than a sarcastic response.

Anyone ever had that question put to them? How do you respond?

I usually get it when I say something like:

ME: "well, if god knows everything, he knows what you are going to do before you are born. so he knows if you are going to heaven or hell right?"

RESPONSE: "well, when I die, I will get that question answered by god. that's what i believe"

ME: 'staring in disbelief'

[Zep]

How about, "Then you don't have to worry about being good or bad in THIS world, OK? So go ahead, rob that bank."

[hgc]

"I think it's an excellent idea to defer the metaphysical questions to the afterlife. But please do be civilized and deal with the practical questions in the here and now."

[Igopogo]

Hope this is somewhat on topic. In recent discussions with religious family members, (our favouite pastime), these are the points I made that I think made them pause & reflect for a moment:


Religious Family Member: Don’t you like to think there’s something better after this life? Where you can be with God and get all your questions answered?

Me: When the 9/11 terrorists did what they did, it appears their motivation was that they believed they would be receiving eternal bliss with 72 virgins. When you think about that’s extremely selfish of them. Their concept of heaven is only a variation on the standard biblical concept of heaven. It leads me to reason that maybe all concepts of heaven are selfish in nature.

RFM: ….

RFM: What do you think happens to you after you die?

Me: What happens to a dog when it dies?

RFM: …It goes to dog heaven.

Me: First I’ve heard of that. Okay, change that. What happens to a worm when it dies

RFM: …

[DVFinn]

When someone says, "I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered". . . I usually just want to smack them.

I believe while we live we should have all answers questioned.

[WildCat]

Oh, here ya go. A whole box!

[ReasonableDoubt]

Originally posted by SkepticalScience
... they are usually so sincere about it, that I wish I had a coment back that would really make them question their sureness of that statement. Perhaps: I find your belief to be wholly unfounded, but I appreciate your sincerity and wish you the best.

[Wyvern]

Originally posted by SkepticalScience
When someone says, "I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered". . . I usually just want to smack them.



You: Well, now, that depends on which God you happen to believe in and which religion and how you practice it, doesn't it??

or You: What makes you think you aren't going straight to hell??

or You: And then what??

[Keneke]

Originally posted by Igopogo
Religious Family Member: Don’t you like to think there’s something better after this life? Where you can be with God and get all your questions answered?





Yes, and while I'm at it, I'd like a pony!



































And peace on earth, and a really fast car, vroom vroom! Can I have that Santa?

[Fun2BFree]

"Well I generally require actual evidence before I believe something, but we are all free to choose what is most important to us."

[Beleth]

There are no zingers in skepticism. Truth is not contained in zingers.

[Silicon]

How about:

If your right, or I'm right, either way you won't have any more questions.


Now myself, I choose to ask those questions while I'm alive, rather than wait, just in case I don't get the chance when I'm dead.

What is the meaning of life? How did the universe come to exist? How can a person with a finite existence fulfill his best potential? What is the nature of love? How can I do my best to make the world a better place?

All of those questions are ones I seek to find the answers to EVERY SINGLE moment of my living life. I seek the answers constantly. I do not give them up as unknowable.

The thirst for the ultimate answers is what fuels every curious mind. It is the reason why Gallileo discovered the laws of physics. It is how Darwin unlocked the order of all life on Earth. It is the fulcrum upon which was placed the lever that brought the Moon within our reach.

The answers didn't bring us any of this. It was the QUESTIONING.

You may choose to leave your questioning to when you expect easy answers gifted to you without effort, without the application of reason or logic or experiment, without any risk of failure -- spoken to you by the mind of God.

If God is indeed everywhere, I will not wait to question him until I am nowhere. I will question him every moment of my living life. I will probe and search and query every atom of His Creation for the answers to the questions that He Himself planted in my very being. The questioning itself is the very essence of life.


If you are wrong, and you have given up questioning until death, then you are dead already.

[Silicon]

Reply to change/clarify that I said Gallileo when I was really thinking Newton. Yes I know the difference.

[Martin]

"So, you don't have a clue, then"

[Martin]

Originally posted by Beleth
There are no zingers in skepticism. Truth is not contained in zingers.

[Zero]

Just knuckle punch them in the kidneys...and say 'how do you like dem apples?'

[evildave]

"I hope you like your answers."

"Choose your questions carefully."

[epepke]

Originally posted by SkepticalScience
When someone says, "I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered". . . I usually just want to smack them.

But they are usually so sincere about it, that I wish I had a coment back that would really make them question their sureness of that statement. A gentle touch, rather than a sarcastic response.

Gentle touch? That's hard.

How about "I'd like to have some answers while I'm alive, while there's still time to do something about them in this world."

[jimmygun]

I would point out the danger in putting faith in a god who has demonstrated time and time again in the bible that he is a schitzoid and can and does turn on people at the drop of a hat.

[Monketey Ghost]

you: "I just can't put the weight of my belief towards something for which there's no evidence. Is there any difference between what you believe about an "afterlife" and wishful thinking? Doesn't it seem like a very convenient mental construct to you, one that enables people to avoid dealing with death?"

[Hazelip]

You can't do a damned thing with answers when you're dead.

[Zero]

No one went for the knuckle-punch...



...what about a dropkick to the throat, and a quick "thank me, because I'm sending you to find out the answer!"?

Sorry, I get violent when people start talking about questions that have no answers.

[Yahweh]

ME: "well, if god knows everything, he knows what you are going to do before you are born. so he knows if you are going to heaven or hell right?"

RESPONSE: "well, when I die, I will get that question answered by god. that's what i believe"
Yahweh: So you have no interest in the answer, do you?

[Ladewig]

RESPONSE: "well, when I die, I will get that question answered by god. that's what i believe"

"What makes you think that Zeus will answer questions from dead people?"

[zultr]

"I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered

Good. Tell me where I left my car keys.

[c4ts]

If God is going to answer all your questions after you die, then there's no point to living.

[phildonnia]

"Zingers", and other short statements that might fit well on bumper stickers, are much better suited to religious arguments than to reasoned debate.

If you adopt that method of argument, I think you'd eventually get your butt kicked.

[neutrino_cannon]

"Does that mean all the questions are asked during life?"
"Does that mean oneshould not seek answers in life?"
"Where are the bloody virgin then?"

[whitefork]

"Do you think Goldbach knows the truth of his conjecture now?"

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by SkepticalScience
I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered"And that's useful, how?"

[Keneke]

"I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered"

But there is no God or afterlife. Prove it.

(Stick to it. Ask for proof. That brings them in the realm of skepticism, of which we are well versed. Don't get into what God will or will not do, just don't budge on that first point!)

[Gregor]

"When I die, all my questions will be answered"

* * *

That's fine, as long as your only question is, "What's it like to lie in a box and have dirt thrown on you?"

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by SkepticalScience
"I believe when I die, I will have all questions answered"I wouldn't recommend going on any game shows, then. :eek: