Original Philosophical Witticisms

[Kahalachan]

I wonder if we can post some witticisms, rules of thumb, etc. that summarize one's position on a subject without drawing a long detailed debate. Quotes that are already existing are cool and I like them, but if I've heard them already I don't get enriched by it.

So that's why I wanna hear if the JREF has any good ones that make us think.


One is in my signature, which I put to pretty much state "I'm atheist and a skeptic but not at war with anyone"


One I thought of just now was cause I was just watching Religulous (the movie by Bill Maer) and it prompted me to think of what the biggest problem in religion is.


When someone knows and says they know, you have a teacher.
When someone doesn't know and says they don't know, you have a student.
When someone knows and says they don't know, you have a politician.
When someone doesn't know and says they know, you have religion.


In short, so many problems in the world could be solved when people are intellectually honest with themselves.

[JoeTheJuggler]

This isn't original, but I like it. It's from the world of poker but is easily generalized:

If you can't identify the weakest player at the table, it's you.

[mikeyx]

This isn't original, but I like it. It's from the world of poker but is easily generalized:

If you can't identify the weakest player at the table, it's you.

the plunger; it is better to have one than to need one....

[Wally]

"You can safely assume you have created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates the same people you do." --Annie Lamott

[Elizabeth I]

One of my favorites is also in my signature:

Never wrestle with a pig - you just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.

[gentlehorse]

Here's something unoriginal:

If you meet more than one asshat a day, take a look in the mirror.

[JoeTheJuggler]

Here's something unoriginal:

If you meet more than one asshat a day, take a look in the mirror.

Sounds about like the same sentiment as the poker one I contributed above, and similar to the barstool notion of, "Everyone in the world is crazy except you and me, and I'm not so sure about you."

[Cactus Wren]

“The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.” – George Bernard Shaw

“I would defend the liberty of consenting adult creationists to practice whatever intellectual perversions they like in the privacy of their own homes; but it is also necessary to protect the young and innocent.” – Arthur C. Clarke

[Dr Adequate]

Quotations.

[Pure Argent]

Against a single willful ignorant, all the knowledge of the universe contends in vain.

[Kahalachan]

This isn't original, but I like it. It's from the world of poker but is easily generalized:

If you can't identify the weakest player at the table, it's you.

Really?

Someone said something very similar?

Cool, but also makes me look like I'm stealing ideas. :boggled:

[billw]

“For the skeptic there remains only one consolation: if there should be such a thing as superhuman law it is administered with subhuman inefficiency.”

- Eric Ambler

[six7s]

"I am not young enough to know everything."
Oscar Wilde

[shandyjan]

Losing an illusion makes you wiser than finding a truth. ~Ludwig Börne

I just spotted this one

It requires a great deal of faith for a man to be cured by his own placebos. ~John L. McClenahan

[Wally]

"Against stupidity, the [very] Gods themselves contend in vain"

Friedrich von Schiller

[Soapy Sam]

There's more truth in any bus timetable than in all the religious dogma ever written.

(Me)

[Blue Mountain]

Were everyone a doctor, who would dig the graves?

(Mine, as far as I know.)

[Island Skeptic]

"If you believe that exposing your children to violence is a problem, by all means keep them away from the Bible." - Rev. Charles Henderson

“A casual stroll through a Lunatic Asylum shows
that faith does not prove anything.” – Fredrich Nietzche

"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time." – Friedrich Nietsche

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because they are generally the same people." – G.K. Chesterton

"Beware of the thinkers whose minds only function when fueled by a quotation” – E.M. Cioran

Ooops. Sorry, not originals -but some of my favorite quotes & could not resist posting them. :)

[Delvo]

There's more truth in any bus timetable than in all the religious dogma ever written.

(Me)...even when the buses are running late. :D

“A casual stroll through a Lunatic Asylum shows
that faith does not prove anything.” – Fredrich Nietzche

"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time." – Friedrich NietscheAnything that dude said which was insightful, or even made sense, is an example of a stopped clock being right twice per day.

"Beware of the thinkers whose minds only function when fueled by a quotation” – E.M. CioranI generally don't memorize quotes and don't like their use to make points, so I've come up with a few anti-quote quotes myself. One that I actually used once in a group meeting where a part of how we were to introduce ourselves was by giving a favorite quote, was simply "quotes are for people who don't think for themselves". It got a lot of laughs. But it wasn't entirely intended the way I think people heard it. I had simply been dismissing the idea of giving a quote at all and giving a jocular explanation of why. The reaction told me that they thought I was actually repeating the words of some famous person who had originally said it.

[bluesjnr]

My dear old Irish grandmother had a few deep moments, here are a couple of hers.

On politics - It doesn't matter who you vote for 'cos the government always get in.

On asshats in general - As you go through life, from time to time you'll meet them. You won't know you're going to meet them for if you did you'd avoid them. Once met you'll know you've met one. You will say to yourself "boy I just met one"

[Ausmerican]

The problem with monotheism is the same as the problem with polytheism; too many gods.
Me AFAIK.

[Aitch]

“A casual stroll through a Lunatic Asylum shows
that faith does not prove anything.” – Fredrich Nietzche

"I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time." – Friedrich Nietsche

Anything that dude said which was insightful, or even made sense, is an example of a stopped clock being right twice per day.

I opened a copy of the Portable Nietsche (http://www.amazon.co.uk/Portable-Nietzsche-Viking-Library/dp/0140150625/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1255850748&sr=8-1) in a couple of places at random whilst in a bookshop. In both places he was wittering on about frogs. It rather put me off reading further.

[Hux]

"Man is the only animal that blushes. Or needs to."

Mark Twain.

[arthwollipot]

I think this is original, but it's inspired by Hofstadter:

Rule Zero: All rules have exceptions, including this one.

[sonofgloin]

Line to Woody Allen.....do you think sex is dirty
Woody Allen.......It is if your doing it right.

[Hux]

"We know you work hard to maintain a belief in a loving, personal god in the absence of evidence and the existence of facts that contradict you. We agree with you that it is remarkably unlikely and difficult to understand. We also agree that the existence of god is something you can’t sense — we can’t sense it either. Whenever we engage you seriously this is the same stuff we get, over and over again: we’re just supposed to believe in the absence of your ability to explain why we should."
PZ Myers. I still love that one.

[JoeTheJuggler]

Cool, but also makes me look like I'm stealing ideas. :boggled:

And that reminds me of a quote from a folk song that I heard sung by a guy named Lee Ruth (though I'm pretty sure the song wasn't his and was, as it's titled, "Public Domain"). I say all that because I think it's important to get the credit right.

"Only a secret is not public domain."

;)

Or better yet, the author of Ecclesiastes who said, "There is nothing new under the sun."

[JoeTheJuggler]

The problem with monotheism is the same as the problem with polytheism; too many gods.
Me AFAIK.

Nicely worded!

[JoeTheJuggler]

I generally don't memorize quotes and don't like their use to make points, so I've come up with a few anti-quote quotes myself. One that I actually used once in a group meeting where a part of how we were to introduce ourselves was by giving a favorite quote, was simply "quotes are for people who don't think for themselves". It got a lot of laughs. But it wasn't entirely intended the way I think people heard it. I had simply been dismissing the idea of giving a quote at all and giving a jocular explanation of why. The reaction told me that they thought I was actually repeating the words of some famous person who had originally said it.

Reminds me of one of my favorite Shakespeare lines:

"How well he's read to reason against reading."
Act I sc.i Loves Labours Lost

[Third Eye Open]

"Against stupidity, the [very] Gods themselves contend in vain"

Friedrich von Schiller

I also like that one! ;)

I like this one, i think it applies to religion as well as governments.

"The only power any government has is the power to crack down on criminals. Well, when there aren't enough criminals, one makes them. One declares so many things to be a crime that it becomes impossible for men to live without breaking laws. " -Ayn Rand

[Lensman]

"If every cloud has a silver lining, doesn't that mean that every silver lining has a cloud?" I don't remember where I first came across that.

similarly:-

"If the early bird catches the worm, doesn't that mean that the worm should've stayed in bed?" AFAIR, original to me - but may not be.

[Third Eye Open]

Just noticed that these are supposed to be original quotes:o

Here's one that i say whenever people start arguing about what god wants or is.

'If there is only one god then only one person is going to heaven.'

[JoeTheJuggler]

"If every cloud has a silver lining, doesn't that mean that every silver lining has a cloud?" I don't remember where I first came across that.
I don't know who said that, but I can answer the question.

No it doesn't logically follow. That would be an example of affirming the consequent (http://www.fallacyfiles.org/afthecon.html).

[Darth Rotor]

It is usually best to mull over this one and let its veracity slowly rise upon you:

Remember, it's not the face you fulk, it's the fulk you face.

[arthwollipot]

Ayn Rand irritates me to the point of throwing stuff.

[CriticalSock]

This isn't original, but I like it. It's from the world of poker but is easily generalized:

If you can't identify the weakest player at the table, it's you.

Really?

Someone said something very similar?

Cool, but also makes me look like I'm stealing ideas. :boggled:

I think the quote is from the movie "Grinders" and is actually something like "If you can't identify the fish at the table. it's you."


"If wishes were fishes, and fishes could fly. How empty our dishes, and dark our skies." - CriticalSock

[Mister Agenda]

I'm not sure of the source, but:

You should be kind to your enemies. After all, you made them.

[Beerina]

One of my favorites is also in my signature:

Never wrestle with a pig - you just get dirty and the pig enjoys it.



Better: Never teach a pig to sing. It sounds terrible and it annoys the pig.

[Beerina]

Ayn Rand irritates me to the point of throwing stuff.

I was unaware the quote of hers above had problems with it.



Here''s another one to make you throw more things: There should be separation of economics and state, just as there is church and state, and for exactly the same reasons.


And still more, roughly: The question isn't whether to give a beggar a dime. It's whether you should be forced to buy your freedom, dime by dime.



These irritate you because the eviscerate deeply-held (i.e. emotionally held) beliefs. It's like confronting a religious person who resorts to "faith" or "but the Bible says" when pushed.

[Jontg]

There should be separation of economics and state, just as there is church and state, and for exactly the same reasons.
Dear god, my hypotheses were correct; there exists in the world a small handful of people that are so dense, they wind up being right by accident.

[JoeTheJuggler]

I think the quote is from the movie "Grinders" and is actually something like "If you can't identify the fish at the table. it's you."

Thanks!

[jhunter1163]

From my father, who I believe stole it from John McKay:

"Be enthusiastic about your work, because if you're not fired with enthusiasm, you'll be fired with enthusiasm."

[Beerina]

the plunger; it is better to have one than to need one....


Here's one, from me:

"Never look inside the bottom of a plunger. Especially a public one."

[arthwollipot]

These irritate you because the eviscerate deeply-held (i.e. emotionally held) beliefs. It's like confronting a religious person who resorts to "faith" or "but the Bible says" when pushed.You have no clue why they irritate me. Don't assume.

Dear god, my hypotheses were correct; there exists in the world a small handful of people that are so dense, they wind up being right by accident.:D I won't turn this thread into a political discussion.

[Snixtor]

"You're unique, just like everybody else".

[ORUgrad]

It's easier to point the finger than to lend a hand.

Me.

[Hux]

George Carlin. Man I miss him.

“Just think of how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are even stupider!”

“If God had intended us not to masturbate he would've made our arms shorter”

“One can never know for sure what a deserted area looks like”

“I have as much authority as the Pope, I just don't have as many people who believe it.”