Kill A Conifer Fer Christ Day!

[evildave]

Ahh yes!

Another year's syncretised pagan rituals to partake in!

How shall we celebrate?

Me, I'm just getting down off a week of influenza misery. I got the shot for the first time in years. It made me sick, and it didn't even cover the strain I caught. Lucky me! At least I have more appetite and energy to spend on the coughing, now.

I'm thinking family, food & booze, followed by my upcomming unemployment and job search for my Happy New Year!

[bjornart]

I'm going to kill a conifer that would have been killed anyway in the necessary thinning out of efficient lumber production. The rest of you are just murderers.

[The Don]

Originally posted by bjornart
I'm going to kill a conifer that would have been killed anyway in the necessary thinning out of efficient lumber production. The rest of you are just murderers.

You cruel b@$t@rd, that's the tree equivalent of veal you have there buddy.

:D

[bjornart]

Originally posted by The Don


You cruel b@$t@rd, that's the tree equivalent of veal you have there buddy.

:D

Sure, but at least it's not the kind where every calf is destined to die young. :)

[MRC_Hans]

I killed two. One for outdoors with lights on all December and a bit of January, one for indoors around Dec. 24 :D.

Tried for a potted one last year (outdoors), but it died anyway. Conifers make for crappy forests anyhow, the only good conifer is one with a cross nailed on the bottom and lights on :a2: .


Ho, ho, ho!

Hans

[TruthSeeker]

My conifer is made of metal and shiny silver foil. Very funky, very retro. My parents bought it when we were kids and I inherited it when they moved on to become actual conifer killers.

Maybe one day, I'll kill a conifer too....

[Keneke]

We had fake trees too when i was young, because Mom was allergic to conifer carcasses.

[roger]

It's illegal for me to have a tree this year. (I'm not kidding)

[evildave]

Hooved rats! Arrggh!

I never put up a tree or decorate. That way, I don't have to take it down or store it.

[phildonnia]

I've had a fake tree cadaver for a few years now.

One year I bought one of those cute little pre-decorated stone pines (Pinus pinea) they sell at the grocery store around christmas. After the new year I put out on the balcony of my apartment. The next year I re-potted it, and eventually I bought a house and planted it in the back yard. It had a hard time adjusting, but it's about 6 feet tall now, and seems to be doing well.

[roger]

Originally posted by evildave
I never put up a tree or decorate. That way, I don't have to take it down or store it. The alternative solution to that problem is to leave it up year round.

[jimmygun]

I only kill free range trees and I eat what I kill!:D

[jj]

We didn't murder a pagan holy symbol this year.

And thanks for a wonderful new word!

[Yahweh]

I use the blood/syrup of Conifers on my pancakes, I'm a coldblooded killer...

[_Q_]

Originally posted by Yahweh
I use the blood/syrup of Conifers on my pancakes, I'm a coldblooded killer... I'm dying to know what sort of conifer-based goodies you put on your pancakes. Pine tar? Turpentine? :)

_Q_

[evildave]

I usually put jam on my pancakes.

[Zep]

What is this "conifer" you guys are so into murdering recklessly? And does the word "conehead" enter into the conversation logically at any point?

[WildCat]

Hey! A good friend of mine has a Christmas Tree farm. It's not like these trees are yanked from a National Forest somewhere! The farmer isn't going to abandon his fields to the wild if nobody buys Christmas trees anymore, he'll just plant some other crop.

So buy several trees every Christmas!

[Iconoclast]

Originally posted by WildCat
Hey! A good friend of mine has a Christmas Tree farm. It's not like these trees are yanked from a National Forest somewhere!
Christmas Trees should be free range, not cooped up in some battery farm with no chance to run around like god intended.

[bjornart]

I went hunting today, and brought back this little fella:

http://home.online.no/~naita/juletre-lite.jpg

Come January 13th I'm gonna chop it up, move it three feet to the right, and burn it. I might take the decorations off first.

[Reginald]

They knew what was coming to them from the moment they were but wee seeds! Given that, they have the advantage over most of us. However I have tried standing there with tinsel and lights on me in an attempt to save the life of a tree, alas after about a day I get tired and start to sag. It's not a comforting thought to know that a plant is better at something than you are. Mind you I do have the advantage that my hair does not fall out all over the carpet.

:D

[evildave]

Originally posted by bjornart
I went hunting today, and brought back this little fella:

http://home.online.no/~naita/juletre-lite.jpg

Come January 13th I'm gonna chop it up, move it three feet to the right, and burn it. I might take the decorations off first.

They're not real good for burning. Fwoosh, and all the heat goes up the chimney. That said, if you lit a fire next to it, there's every possibility it would "fwoosh" and dump all that heat and smoke directly into the house.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by bjornart
I went hunting today, and brought back this little fella:

http://home.online.no/~naita/juletre-lite.jpg

Come January 13th I'm gonna chop it up, move it three feet to the right, and burn it. I might take the decorations off first.
Please tell me Steve Irwin narrated the hunt and capture of that tree-looking thing you got there... crikey...

[Yahweh]

http://www.upl.cs.wisc.edu/~kimuchi/pix/bear.gif

[bjornart]

Originally posted by evildave


They're not real good for burning. Fwoosh, and all the heat goes up the chimney. That said, if you lit a fire next to it, there's every possibility it would "fwoosh" and dump all that heat and smoke directly into the house.

You're not making any sense here. What you mean is. "They're not really good for heating." They burn very well, and the crackling of drying needles is fun.
I'll chop it into bits, light a fire with the trunk, which will be a bit difficult since it'll be green wood, and then I'll toss bits of branches into the fire to watch them pop and sizzle. Wheee.

[phildonnia]

Originally posted by bjornart


You're not making any sense here. What you mean is. "They're not really good for heating." They burn very well, and the crackling of drying needles is fun.

Cleaning creosote out of the chimney, by comparison, is "not fun".

[Starrman]

I killed my conifer to help the local Kiwanis chapter. Otherwise they might run out of those mints at all the local restaurants.

[evildave]

Build up is more of a problem with routinely burning 'em. That little stick won't build up much.

The problem is, they burn real hot, really fast. And the fire tends to spit burning bits out into the house. If you're willing to contend with all of that, then yeah, it's "fun", if you like setting off fireworks in the living room.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by _Q_
I'm dying to know what sort of conifer-based goodies you put on your pancakes. Pine tar? Turpentine? :)

_Q_
Turpentine, obviously. What, do you think I'm not the Heathen I claim to be?

(And I eat the cones, too!)

[bjornart]

Originally posted by phildonnia


Cleaning creosote out of the chimney, by comparison, is "not fun".

Which is why I'm not a chimney sweep. :)

And on evildave's comment on burning bits jumping around, I'm hoping the screen will stop most of those. If any manage to get over the screen and past the brick perimeter I ought to be able to stamp 'em out. And if they stay within they are fun, fun, fun. :D