What, in your opinion, is the most absurd conspiracy theory?

[Paradox74]

All I can think of is the Protocols of the Elders of Zion. The very idea that a group of Jewish bankers and Satanists working together to achieve world domination is like Christian Fundamentalists and Wiccans performing the same act. The two are incredibly different. Not to mention that you have to assume that all members of the Judaic faith, with varying political, philosophical and religious views, are going to get along as they take control of the Earth (Note the radical differences between Orthodox and Reform Judaism).

What do you think? I like to hear your opinions.

[Jontg]

David Icke Reptilianism. All of the above, plus shapeshifting lizards from the fourth dimension.

[twinstead]

David Icke Reptilianism. All of the above, plus shapeshifting lizards from the fourth dimension.

Yup. It doesn't get any crazier than Icke. Birthers, Truthers, JFKers, Apollo HBs, they're all amateurs by comparison.

[Sledge]

The Freeman of the Land stuff tickles me. It's an easily testable theory that fails in every application, and yet a hardcore of loons remain devoted to it.

[twinstead]

The Freeman of the Land stuff tickles me. It's an easily testable theory that fails in every application, and yet a hardcore of loons remain devoted to it.

Well, they don't believe the Queen of England is a reptile and can shape shift, but they do get honorable mention

[Sledge]

They do hang out on the Icke forums in the UK, so a fair number of them probably swallow that baloney as well. I just like the FOTL stuff because it means you get idiots being taken to court over minor offences and making matters much worse because they "refuse to contract with the court." It's like a small child thinking that the spells in Harry Potter really work, they just haven't got it exactly right yet.

[dudalb]

I have to go with Icke. The leaders of the world being shape shifting Reptialians from another planet takes the cake for crazy, even if he did swipe it from Science Fiction. Thing is "V" and the Skrull storylines in Marvel comics are just doing it for fun,whereas Icke actually believes this crap.

[Sunray Breaker]

I particularly liked the one about the guy who claimed to have been from the future and even had blueprints of his time machine. He posted a bunch of untraceable, anonymous stuff on forums and then just disappeared.

His believers still bring him up from time to time...

What was that guys name again?

[Agatha]

I particularly liked the one about the guy who claimed to have been from the future and even had blueprints of his time machine. He posted a bunch of untraceable, anonymous stuff on forums and then just disappeared.

His believers still bring him up from time to time...

What was that guys name again?
John Titor.

[Sunray Breaker]

That's right...what a whacko

[kookbreaker]

Icke is pretty good, but the recent spate of woos who think the A-bomb was faked is prtty high on the stupid list.

[Gord_in_Toronto]

Yup. It doesn't get any crazier than Icke. Birthers, Truthers, JFKers, Apollo HBs, they're all amateurs by comparison.

I vote for Icke. (If I am not allowed to vote for LRon's Marcab Confederacy.) :duck:

[CompusMentus]

Has to be Judy Wood and her DEW that destroyed the WTC (From orbit, powered by Hurricane Erin).

Story.End.Of.

Compus

[geni]

Anatoly Fomenko's New Chronology.

There's also no upper limit for absurdness amoung the more extream UFO mob.

[redlite]

'Hollow Earth Society' is cool. Gotta have a place for the Reps' to fly in and out of and have their annual BBQ's.

[jaydeehess]

Paul MacCartney is dead and was replaced by a look-alike who is actually a Canadian, Ontario Provincial Police officer. (US equivalent would be a state trooper)

[bookitty]

Excuse me, I'm new. Not really up on my CT's. You aren't actually saying that someone believes that Icke reptile stuff. It's an internet joke/hoax/whatever, right?

[CompusMentus]

Excuse me, I'm new. Not really up on my CT's. You aren't actually saying that someone believes that Icke reptile stuff. It's an internet joke/hoax/whatever, right?



LOOK HERE (http://www.davidicke.com/forum/index.php)


ETA ESPECIALLY HERE (http://www.davidicke.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=18) :-[

Compus

[Furcifer]

Icke.

Crazy is believing in reptile shape shifters. It becomes absurd when you get more than one person to believe. Case closed, hands down, bar none, turn the lights off on your way out winner.

[bookitty]

LOOK HERE (http://www.davidicke.com/forum/index.php)


ETA ESPECIALLY HERE (http://www.davidicke.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=18) :-[

Compus

Wow. Amazing.

It would be funny if it wasn't so...no, it's just funny.

[bob_cadaver]

Icke's reptiles is probably the most outwardly absurd CT, but I think the anti-vaccination people who have been determined to avoid using their common sense at every turn are a close second. There' s something strangely sad but funny about people who actually can find out how vaccines are made, what diseases they've helped eradicate (or nearly eradicate), what the contents of vaccines are, how the vaccine and its components behave in the body, etc, etc, yet still insist it's POISONING OUR CHILDREN or are possibly MICROCHIPPING OUR CHILDREN ala Alex Jones.

[dudalb]

Anatoly Fomenko's New Chronology.

There's also no upper limit for absurdness amoung the more extream UFO mob.

Yeah, the "New Chronology" is right up there with Icke on the wackjob scale.
It's scary that Fomenko has quite a following in Russia. Of course that his New Chronology makes Russia the Source of almost all Civilization has nothing to do with that...........

[CurtC]

After Icke, I'd vote for Chemtrails. You have to be seriously deluded to actually believe that.

[CompusMentus]

Icke.
Crazy is believing in reptile shape shifters. It becomes absurd when you get more than one person to believe. Case closed, hands down, bar none, turn the lights off on your way out winner.



The crazy bat**** is so deep over there it really is easy to start sinking when you wade through it. Here's a quote from a thread in answer to the question "Why We Can't See The Reps?"



I don't think people can see reptilians because reptilians have always been spirits, and the only people who have ever been able to see spirits are people who are practically spirits themselves - i.e. extremely spiritually advanced individuals who don't feel the need to go around telling everyone they see spirits.
It's the secret of alchemy.
A real alchemist would never explain the secret of alchemy, because it's inexplicable.



The thing is I think poor old Judy Wood really does believe in the 9/11 DEW. Icke, however, is just an opportunist carpetbagging shyster.


Compus

[bob_cadaver]

Paul MacCartney is dead and was replaced by a look-alike who is actually a Canadian, Ontario Provincial Police officer. (US equivalent would be a state trooper)

haha, I'd forgotten that one. I am intrigued to see that according to some poster on David Icke, Michael Jackson was murdered by the CIA. :eye-poppi

Masons/Illuminati/NWO are getting lazy, I guess.

[CompusMentus]

Icke's reptiles is probably the most outwardly absurd CT, but I think the anti-vaccination people who have been determined to avoid using their common sense at every turn are a close second. There' s something strangely sad but funny about people who actually can find out how vaccines are made, what diseases they've helped eradicate (or nearly eradicate), what the contents of vaccines are, how the vaccine and its components behave in the body, etc, etc, yet still insist it's POISONING OUR CHILDREN or are possibly MICROCHIPPING OUR CHILDREN ala Alex Jones.



Can't stomach too much of Alex Jones myself. But I would wager that he never discusses the global eradication of smallpox as a major killer or that polio rarley occurs worldwide. I wonder how he might explain how this was achieved?


Compus

[Furcifer]

The thing is I think poor old Judy Wood really does believe in the 9/11 DEW. Icke, however, is just an opportunist carpetbagging shyster.
Compus

You get that too? I've been over there (Icke) for a peak or two and I've got to think it's an elaborate hoax.

On another thread I made mention of DE (I won't elaborate on that user name, that gem is yours for your own personal discovery). He's what appears to be a relatively new user with moderator status. It took very little to find out the user is under some medical supervision at this time.

I don't want to imply anything so I won't. What I will say is that within 30 seconds of reading that forum I got a distinct impression that the lunatics are running the asylum.

That's my own personal impression. It's based on limited information and I don't want to influence anyone's opinion.

[DGM]

FLAT EARTH.

Time Cube a close second.:D

[jhunter1163]

No, no, no.

Time Cube is the hands-down winner.

[Furcifer]

Time Cube a close second.:D

Thanks for that gem. I don't even want to know how you became privy to that "stupid singularity".

When we were kids we used to go to the States to do shopping. It seemed like every K-Mart we went to there was a van in the parking lot covered in hand painted warnings about the upcoming end of days, or some other gibberish. I'm not sure who's van it was but I suspect it was registered to Dr. Gene Ray- Cubic and Wisest Human.

[DGM]

No, no, no.

Time Cube is the hands-down winner.
I had to give it to "flat earth" because I'm not sure if "time cube" is a conspiracy (I've never dared read through the whole thing).

[Jontg]

Then you are surely educated stupid.

[Hokulele]

I don't think flat earth really qualifies as a conspiracy either.

To the OP, L. Ron Hubbard and his Thetans.

[Edx]

Heres a fun senario.

Icke convinces his followers that TV artifacts are actually the person on screen shapeshifting, eventually this happens to him on TV and they turn on him and burn him Salem style for being a witch, I mean reptilian.

[DGM]

I don't think flat earth really qualifies as a conspiracy either.

To the OP, L. Ron Hubbard and his Thetans.
(Not wanting to read it again). Don't they claim that NASA and the worlds governments are covering up and promoting "round earth"? That sounds like a conspiracy to me.

[Edx]

I don't think flat earth really qualifies as a conspiracy either.

To the OP, L. Ron Hubbard and his Thetans.

Its funny because I assumed for ages that South Park hyped the whole dead alien story they did on Scientology, but then I heard a speech or something by Hubbard and he said exactly what they did! Amazing! lol

[Furcifer]

Its funny because I assumed for ages that South Park hyped the whole dead alien story they did on Scientology, but then I heard a speech or something by Hubbard and he said exactly what they did! Amazing! lol

Whoah Whoah Whoah, if scientology is on the table here then Icke and Hubbard are nothing compared to Joseph Smith.

[Jontg]

Scientology's really just a religion like any other; hilarious from the outside, until you realize that the believers are actually killing people over it. That's why it's so important that it be dismantled before it entrenches itself; the only difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Jesus Christ is two thousand years.

[Edx]

Whoah Whoah Whoah, if scientology is on the table here then Icke and Hubbard are nothing compared to Joseph Smith.

dunno man... South Park had a Joseph Smith episode too its pretty close :)

[DGM]

Creationism and Scientology get high marks for popularity but as far as "absurd", FLAT EARTH ("time cube" honorable mention).

[Furcifer]

dunno man... South Park had a Joseph Smith episode too its pretty close :)

"Smart smart smart smart smaaaaaart"

[gtc]

Does anyone actually believe the time cube theory or is it parody?

[Hokulele]

(Not wanting to read it again). Don't they claim that NASA and the worlds governments are covering up and promoting "round earth"? That sounds like a conspiracy to me.


If that is the case, then flat earth would qualify, but what possible benefit could be gained by promoting a round earth is beyond me. Hmph.

[DGM]

If that is the case, then flat earth would qualify, but what possible benefit could be gained by promoting a round earth is beyond me. Hmph.
To discredit the "Flat Earthers" silly. (like "truthers" they think they're significant). The thread is about absurd.

[Edx]

Does anyone actually believe the time cube theory or is it parody?

Hard to say, there are websites out there that claim to be believers in TimeCube... but there are subtle hints that they are joking. :)

(I tried finding it again and couldnt remember the url)

[Laton]

Icke is probably the looniest but I do love the Chemtrail one. My favorite variation, seen on a board many years ago, was that contrails aren't nasty mind-altering chemicals or biological agents but are in fact the heat trails left by angels entering the earths atmosphere.

:boggled:

[Furcifer]

Icke is probably the looniest but I do love the Chemtrail one. My favorite variation, seen on a board many years ago, was that contrails aren't nasty mind-altering chemicals or biological agents but are in fact the heat trails left by angels entering the earths atmosphere.

:boggled:

You'd think God would get pissed about having to replace all those heat tiles on the angels and just make them materialize on the ground instead of in outer space.

[Roboramma]

Icke is probably the looniest but I do love the Chemtrail one. My favorite variation, seen on a board many years ago, was that contrails aren't nasty mind-altering chemicals or biological agents but are in fact the heat trails left by angels entering the earths atmosphere.

:boggled:

I went hiking with a friend of mine in Colorado last year. He brought another friend along and as we were walking, a plane passed overhead. He started ranting about chem-trails. I told him that I think its just condensing water vapour from the jet engines. Something like that, though I'm not entirely sure how it works.

The guy started freaking out. Like, "how can you not believe what you see right in front of you." All the "I see a trail behind the plane, that doesn't mean it mind-altering chemicals." didn't seem to bother him, and somehow my refusal to say, "Oh, wow, you're right!" made me the *******.
My friend, by the way, buys this as well... but then he seems to believe in everything.

A very uncomfortable few minutes followed. The funny thing is that the whole time I was just saying, "Look, I think you're wrong, but let's just drop it and enjoy the walk."

[Brainache]

No mention of the Concrete Core of the WTC Towers installed by Evil Native American Hypnotist Psychiatrists?

Well technically, I suppose it is a delusional raving from a loony CTist former poster Christophera, but as CTs go it was pretty absurd.

[Edx]

My favorite variation, seen on a board many years ago, was that contrails aren't nasty mind-altering chemicals or biological agents but are in fact the heat trails left by angels entering the earths atmosphere.

:boggled:

hahahah. Sure are a lot of the buggers...

[Laton]

You'd think God would get pissed about having to replace all those heat tiles on the angels and just make them materialize on the ground instead of in outer space.

My suggestion that one should be easy to bring down with a heat-seaking missile wasn't appreciated. :)

[Jontg]

If that is the case, then flat earth would qualify, but what possible benefit could be gained by promoting a round earth is beyond me. Hmph.They're all controlled by the Jews, silly--everyone knows Jews make all their decisions based solely on how many opportunities it gives them to screw with upstanding Aryans like ourselves. They're like Anonymous with little hats.
And on a completely unrelated note, I now have an idea for the strangest science fiction story ever written.

[triforcharity]

Has to be Judy Wood and her DEW that destroyed the WTC (From orbit, powered by Hurricane Erin).

Story.End.Of.

Compus

Have you seen some of her pages?? Like the cars lined up on the other side of the island, all burned, and she is wondering how they got there?? I couldn't help but laugh. She is pretty dumb for aan engineer.

[linusrichard]

I have to go with Freeman on the Land. Even if you accept some of its postulates (please don't accept some of its postulates), it makes no sense. All the judges are so corrupt that they're going to deny you all of your constitutional rights, but if you recite the magic words to the judge, they are forced to stand aside, powerless against your superior knowledge of the law.

[Laton]

hahahah. Sure are a lot of the buggers...

I think they were portents of the Rapture....or something :boggled:

[Dave Rogers]

I think the stupidest conspiracy theory is the belief that nineteen Arabs hijacking airliners and crashing them into buildings, which then catch fire and collapse with enormous loss of life, is a stupid conspiracy theory.

Now, let's see what response I get from the people who can't parse that sentence correctly.

Dave

[Hypatia]

Icke's reptiles is probably the most outwardly absurd CT, but I think the anti-vaccination people who have been determined to avoid using their common sense at every turn are a close second. There' s something strangely sad but funny about people who actually can find out how vaccines are made, what diseases they've helped eradicate (or nearly eradicate), what the contents of vaccines are, how the vaccine and its components behave in the body, etc, etc, yet still insist it's POISONING OUR CHILDREN or are possibly MICROCHIPPING OUR CHILDREN ala Alex Jones.

Yup, the anti-vaxx stuff is particularly pernicious. There are many more people who are afraid of vaccines than who are afraid of "Luciferian Illuminati", reptoids or whatever, but they are just as much True Believers in their woo as reptoid believers are in their kind of woo, and woo believers of any stripe tend to shun the investigation of rational points of view. They only want to read woo that reinforces and exacerbates their current level of woo. And there's not a whit of common sense to be found in it.

[Hypatia]

The guy started freaking out. Like, "how can you not believe what you see right in front of you." All the "I see a trail behind the plane, that doesn't mean it mind-altering chemicals." didn't seem to bother him, and somehow my refusal to say, "Oh, wow, you're right!" made me the *******.
My friend, by the way, buys this as well... but then he seems to believe in everything.

A very uncomfortable few minutes followed. The funny thing is that the whole time I was just saying, "Look, I think you're wrong, but let's just drop it and enjoy the walk."

Yup. Irrational people get very upset when you disagree with their views, even when you do it as politely as possible. Some people, it seems, are just wired for woo. Reality is just too boring for them. A demon-haunted world is more exciting. :(

[Harpo]

Seeing as several of you have beaten me to the punch concerning Icke and his reptoid drivel, I'm going to have to raise the stakes by introducing this:

The 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock.

Here's the file description from Google video:

"2012: Tragedy, transcension or just another year? David Wilcock exposes many great secrets: DNA, consciousness science, wormholes, stargate travel, sacred geometry, three-dimensional time, the Mayan Calendar and much, much more! Part I: CONVERGENCE The Movie, consciousness energy field, Edgar Cayce reincarnation, Da Vinci Code, Inconvenient Truth, galactic alignment, dodecahedron, 2012 / DNA crop circles, sacred geometry as vibration, tetrahedron, 19.5 degrees Part II: Hans Jenny / Cymatics, space and time inverting, wave-particle duality, Buckyballs / fullerenes, DNA as a wave, Kaznacheyev, psychic healing, Dewey Larson, 3D time, space-time fabric, time-space Part III: Fairy circles, natural stargates, ESP, nested spheres, channeling, chakras, Pineal gland, Sumerian tablets, Osiris, kundalini, pine cone symbolism, Tammuz, Shiva, Third Eye, Bindi, Bacchus, Dionysus, Jesus, the Vatican Part IV: Pyramid sarcophagus, cathedral windows, the World Tree, melatonin, DMT, ayahuasca, Dreams, Out of Body Experience, the Silver Cord Part V: Mark of the Beast, microclusters, synchronicity, shamanism, holographic sound, reverse-engineering the pineal gland, Dan Burisch, Project Looking Glass, CONTACT Part VI: The Last Mimzy, the Roswell Crash, the Cube / Yellow Disc, Hellraiser, election tampering, pole shift, time-viewing technology, the Iraq War, DCTP / Doctrine of the Convergent Timeline Paradox, human-lineage ETs Part VII: Tree of Life, Illuminati, Rothschilds, Hitler, New World Order, Lucifer, Luciferian philosophy, Catholic church, Philadelphia Experiment / Rainbow Project Part VIII: Phoenix III, Montauk chair, time travel, Dec. 21, 2012, 20-year cycle, Stargate SG-1, Outer Band Individuated Teletracer / OBIT, The Outer Limits, Time Vector Generator / TVG, Mars pyramids, underground bases, jumproom, Total Recall, Minority Report, X-Men / Cerebro, Rifts in Time Part IX: Forbidden Planet, psychic conduit, LSD trips, zero-time, 2012 dimensional shift, Edgar Cayce readings, Chandler’s Wobble, pole shift, Library of Atlantis / Hall of Records, California earthquakes Part X: Create your own reality, 2012 not cataclysmic, Russian physics, Dr. Sergey Smelyakov / Auric Time Scale, Mayan Calendar, spiral imploding into 2012 changing consciousness, Ascended abilities, spiritual growth"

Weapons Grade horsesh*t!!!

I'd love to post a link to the lecture but until I reach the required post count you'll just have to unearth this gem for yourselves. I'd be surprised if it didn't bring tears of laughter and despair to your eyes while watching this blatant charlatan.

[Caustic Logic]

Seeing as several of you have beaten me to the punch concerning Icke and his reptoid drivel, I'm going to have to raise the stakes by introducing this:

The 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock.

Here's the file description from Google video:

"2012: Tragedy, transcension or just another year? David Wilcock exposes many great secrets: DNA, consciousness science, wormholes, stargate travel, sacred geometry, three-dimensional time, the Mayan Calendar and much, much more! Part I: CONVERGENCE The Movie, consciousness energy field, Edgar Cayce reincarnation, Da Vinci Code, Inconvenient Truth, galactic alignment, dodecahedron, 2012 / DNA crop circles, sacred geometry as vibration, tetrahedron, 19.5 degrees Part II: Hans Jenny / Cymatics, space and time inverting, wave-particle duality, Buckyballs / fullerenes, DNA as a wave, Kaznacheyev, psychic healing, Dewey Larson, 3D time, space-time fabric, time-space Part III: Fairy circles, natural stargates, ESP, nested spheres, channeling, chakras, Pineal gland, Sumerian tablets, Osiris, kundalini, pine cone symbolism, Tammuz, Shiva, Third Eye, Bindi, Bacchus, Dionysus, Jesus, the Vatican Part IV: Pyramid sarcophagus, cathedral windows, the World Tree, melatonin, DMT, ayahuasca, Dreams, Out of Body Experience, the Silver Cord Part V: Mark of the Beast, microclusters, synchronicity, shamanism, holographic sound, reverse-engineering the pineal gland, Dan Burisch, Project Looking Glass, CONTACT Part VI: The Last Mimzy, the Roswell Crash, the Cube / Yellow Disc, Hellraiser, election tampering, pole shift, time-viewing technology, the Iraq War, DCTP / Doctrine of the Convergent Timeline Paradox, human-lineage ETs Part VII: Tree of Life, Illuminati, Rothschilds, Hitler, New World Order, Lucifer, Luciferian philosophy, Catholic church, Philadelphia Experiment / Rainbow Project Part VIII: Phoenix III, Montauk chair, time travel, Dec. 21, 2012, 20-year cycle, Stargate SG-1, Outer Band Individuated Teletracer / OBIT, The Outer Limits, Time Vector Generator / TVG, Mars pyramids, underground bases, jumproom, Total Recall, Minority Report, X-Men / Cerebro, Rifts in Time Part IX: Forbidden Planet, psychic conduit, LSD trips, zero-time, 2012 dimensional shift, Edgar Cayce readings, Chandler’s Wobble, pole shift, Library of Atlantis / Hall of Records, California earthquakes Part X: Create your own reality, 2012 not cataclysmic, Russian physics, Dr. Sergey Smelyakov / Auric Time Scale, Mayan Calendar, spiral imploding into 2012 changing consciousness, Ascended abilities, spiritual growth"

Weapons Grade horsesh*t!!!

I'd love to post a link to the lecture but until I reach the required post count you'll just have to unearth this gem for yourselves. I'd be surprised if it didn't bring tears of laughter and despair to your eyes while watching this blatant charlatan.

Holy crap! I wrote that, years back, while on lots of liquid LSD. It was supposed to be the formula, to something, but I read it the next day and was like "what the hell?" and tossed it out. This must be the scruffy-haired wino that started digging in the trash as I walked off.

ETA: Watching the video (http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4951448613711060908#) now, for a second only. Looks like a different guy, must be a coincidence after all. :P

[SatanicSheep]

I thought John Titor was a hoax.

Does anyone actually believe the time cube theory or is it parody?


I remember reading something like an interview with the time cube guy and I think he does belive it. It's funny because it's not a particularly innovative "conspiracy," it's just presented in such a screamingly bat sh*t crazy format.

[Zorglub]

Seeing as several of you have beaten me to the punch concerning Icke and his reptoid drivel, I'm going to have to raise the stakes by introducing this:

The 2012 Enigma by David Wilcock.

Here's the file description from Google video:

"2012: Tragedy, transcension or just another year? David Wilcock exposes many great secrets: DNA, consciousness science, wormholes, stargate travel, sacred geometry, three-dimensional time, the Mayan Calendar and much, much more! Part I: CONVERGENCE The Movie, consciousness energy field, Edgar Cayce reincarnation, Da Vinci Code, Inconvenient Truth, galactic alignment, dodecahedron, 2012 / DNA crop circles, sacred geometry as vibration, tetrahedron, 19.5 degrees Part II: Hans Jenny / Cymatics, space and time inverting, wave-particle duality, Buckyballs / fullerenes, DNA as a wave, Kaznacheyev, psychic healing, Dewey Larson, 3D time, space-time fabric, time-space Part III: Fairy circles, natural stargates, ESP, nested spheres, channeling, chakras, Pineal gland, Sumerian tablets, Osiris, kundalini, pine cone symbolism, Tammuz, Shiva, Third Eye, Bindi, Bacchus, Dionysus, Jesus, the Vatican Part IV: Pyramid sarcophagus, cathedral windows, the World Tree, melatonin, DMT, ayahuasca, Dreams, Out of Body Experience, the Silver Cord Part V: Mark of the Beast, microclusters, synchronicity, shamanism, holographic sound, reverse-engineering the pineal gland, Dan Burisch, Project Looking Glass, CONTACT Part VI: The Last Mimzy, the Roswell Crash, the Cube / Yellow Disc, Hellraiser, election tampering, pole shift, time-viewing technology, the Iraq War, DCTP / Doctrine of the Convergent Timeline Paradox, human-lineage ETs Part VII: Tree of Life, Illuminati, Rothschilds, Hitler, New World Order, Lucifer, Luciferian philosophy, Catholic church, Philadelphia Experiment / Rainbow Project Part VIII: Phoenix III, Montauk chair, time travel, Dec. 21, 2012, 20-year cycle, Stargate SG-1, Outer Band Individuated Teletracer / OBIT, The Outer Limits, Time Vector Generator / TVG, Mars pyramids, underground bases, jumproom, Total Recall, Minority Report, X-Men / Cerebro, Rifts in Time Part IX: Forbidden Planet, psychic conduit, LSD trips, zero-time, 2012 dimensional shift, Edgar Cayce readings, Chandler’s Wobble, pole shift, Library of Atlantis / Hall of Records, California earthquakes Part X: Create your own reality, 2012 not cataclysmic, Russian physics, Dr. Sergey Smelyakov / Auric Time Scale, Mayan Calendar, spiral imploding into 2012 changing consciousness, Ascended abilities, spiritual growth"

Damn! That is a lot of stuff in just 96 minutes. Is it some sort of woo-infomercial?

Edit: it´s this video right?
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4951448613711060908#

Edit 2:I love all the CT:s. They´re like deranged fairytales that wooers are trying to force into existens. And I love a good fairytale.
Let me instead propose this nifty little piece of woo-engineeering.
Chemtrails are not real. But the chembuster (http://www.chembuster.us/chembuster.htm) is.

[joe911]

I am intrigued to see that according to some poster on David Icke, Michael Jackson was murdered by the CIA. :eye-poppi



Some people on there beleive he died in the 80s after the pepsi commerical accident,and they killed off the fake michael jackson this year because: 1. He was going to expose the nwo in his upcoming shows. Or 2.to distract everyone while they pass some climate bill or something.

[jadebox]

Icke's reptiles is probably the most outwardly absurd CT, but I think the anti-vaccination people who have been determined to avoid using their common sense at every turn are a close second.

Well, if they aren't the most absurd, the anti-vaccination people are probably the most dangerous of the CTers.

-- Roger

[dudalb]

Scientology's really just a religion like any other; hilarious from the outside, until you realize that the believers are actually killing people over it. That's why it's so important that it be dismantled before it entrenches itself; the only difference between L. Ron Hubbard and Jesus Christ is two thousand years.


Not really. It's sort of hard to disagree with a lot of what Jesus had to say about loving thy neighbor even if you reject his theology, and Jesus never charged thousands of drachmas for "The Next Level" of his teachings.

[coldcanuk]

The ghost of Lincoln haunts the White House.
http://tinyurl.com/yfmrnz6

[Myron Proudfoot]

Since the reptoids have been mentioned let me toss in the sylphs...

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/sylphs_chemtrails/sylphsandirvinesky11jul04.htm

They eat chemtrails!

And the Birthers have to get a nod as well for their ability to get media attention for such a new CT......

Oh, and the idea that Lee Harvey Oswald was two people. that's a winner...

[Arcade22]

David Icke Reptilianism. All of the above, plus shapeshifting lizards from the fourth dimension.

Yeah, Ike is really in need of some strong Anti-psychotic meds!

[Sunray Breaker]

I don't think people can see reptilians because reptilians have always been spirits, and the only people who have ever been able to see spirits are people who are practically spirits themselves - i.e. extremely spiritually advanced individuals who don't feel the need to go around telling everyone they see spirits.
It's the secret of alchemy.
A real alchemist would never explain the secret of alchemy, because it's inexplicable.

Stundilicious....Although, it's almost too easy

[Paradox74]

Creationism and Scientology get high marks for popularity but as far as "absurd", FLAT EARTH ("time cube" honorable mention).

How are you supposed to show these flat earthers that the earth is round?
*pounders for a moment*
*slaps himself on the forehead*
Oh right, they're flat-headed. (poor joke)

[bethgsd]

I knew there was a lot I didn't know about the CTers. And now, thanks to this thread I'm really going to have to go and educate myself on more nutbags. I hope I don't laugh too hard or end up banging my head against the keyboard.

[akama1]

Holocaust deniers, Reptilians, A-bomb deniers ?? , Space weapons taking out the twin towers, moon hoaxers all pale to the nuttery of Xenu.

When people have died, founding members been arrested and charged with spying/stealing from the FBI, and you sue anyone and everyone you can, nothing else can come close.

[dropzone]

I knew there was a lot I didn't know about the CTers. And now, thanks to this thread I'm really going to have to go and educate myself on more nutbags. I hope I don't laugh too hard or end up banging my head against the keyboard.(sniffle) Brings a tear to the eye, don't it? Bless you, my child. I'd say, "go and sin no more," but you knew better than to sin. :D

[dropzone]

After twenty years of driving two hours to my SIL's for holidays I have developed a taste, not for the CT, but for the pseudoscience of Lawsonomy, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lawsonomy) with which you can learn that Bart Simpson was right, the universe can suck and blow at the same time.

[Mr.D]

For absurdity (as opposed to weird, silly, foolish, paranoid, scary, delusional or just plain crazy), you can't beat the Moon hoaxers.

The luddite-ish undercurrents of the CT is just so absurd in the face of exponentially growing 21st century technology. So utterly absurd is it that they've had to wholesale move the goalposts from "it's technologically impossible" to "they couldn't have done it back then."

UFOs, JFK, 9/11, Protocols of Zion and others will probably be with us for generations, but Moon Hoaxers are going the way of Flat Earthers.




ETA: (dis)Honorable Mention: 'Rods' - There's a short scene in a TV show (Possibly an episode of NGC's "Is it Real?") where there's a guy 'lecturing' on "rods" at a tiny little UFO convention. Over on the side of the screen, you can see a bunch of "UFOlogists" snickering at him; very funny.

When UFOlogists think your video evidence is absurd ... that's absurd.

[zaphod2016]

Yup. It doesn't get any crazier than Icke. Birthers, Truthers, JFKers, Apollo HBs, they're all amateurs by comparison.

Perhaps not the most absurd theory, but the most damaging: it goes all the way to the top.

A friend recently came to me with some "no planes" nonsense; I explain even Alex Jones thinks that's crazy. Her response: Jones is in on it.

I ask: what happened to the people on the plane? She asks: how could you prove there were ever people on those planes to begin with?

I mention widows groups, who mourned for spouses and family members. Her reply: the widows are in on it.

I suggest we check the airline tickets against the "alleged" victim's credit cards or bank accounts. We will see a match- so-and-so bought a ticket for the 2nd flight which hit WTC. Her reply: the banks, credit cards and airlines are in on it.

I suggest we check camera footage from the airport, and interview security guards who were there, to confirm so-and-so got on such-and-such plane. Then, we can track the flight from Boston to NYC using an assortment of different radars, each controlled by different people.

Her response: (you guessed it) they're all in on it. All of them. Even the security guards.

"Lizard people" is so crazy that any semi-rational person knows its nonsense the moment they hear it; Icke ends up with mostly curious folk who don't last long, or the true believers.

But the more damaging theory: it's all connected, and can all be controlled by them. Of course, Icke uses this too (so does Jones, et all). It really is nothing more than a basic cult leader technique to divide their audiences into "us" and "them".

[zaphod2016]

[Jon Titor] That's right...what a whacko

I must respectfully disagree; that was damn-fine SciFi if you ask me.

Just plausible enough to make for excellent fiction.

[portlandatheist]

Icke/Reptilians
chemtrails
9/11
Light bulbs, defective by design

[Klimax]

Icke/Reptilians
chemtrails
9/11
Light bulbs, defective by design

What is that last line?

[Harpo]

I ran into this one this morning while trawling the interweb:

"The dust cloud created by the collapse of the Twin Towers was a pyroclastic flow."

Jawdroppingly ignorant on so many levels!!:jaw-dropp

Check this nonsense out:

h**p: //forum. concen. org/index.php?showtopic=30361&pid=178680&st=0&#entry178680

(Please replace the ** and take out the spaces)

Post #11 is the one. :rolleyes:

If anyone wants to join that site beware it a haven for intellectual dullards and people that should be on strong medication.

I think there are a couple of sceptics on there but it's a Rourkes Drift scenario and to paraphrase a classic movie "The Sentries have come in from the hill. They report Truthers to the southeast. Thousands of them".

[Dave Rogers]

I ran into this one this morning while trawling the interweb:

"The dust cloud created by the collapse of the Twin Towers was a pyroclastic flow."

Jawdroppingly ignorant on so many levels!!:jaw-dropp

That's a fine old chestnut among the 9/11 loons. I haven't seen so much of it lately, but it was extensively discussed by people who had no idea what a pyroclastic flow was, even less understanding of what it might have proven if the dust cloud had been similar in behaviour to one, and who honestly believed - because somebody a step or two removed from reality had told them - that pyroclastic flows were a characteristic of building demolitions using explosives. The very use of the word "pyroclastic", in a 9/11 context, can quite simply be taken to mean "I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I like to repeat BS from 9/11 conspiracy websites."

Dave

[Longfellow]

For me, it's a coin-flip between Flat-earthers and Young Earth Creationists. Neither position is tenable considering the evidence to the contrary yet both viewpoints persist.

[twinstead]

The very use of the word "pyroclastic", in a 9/11 context, can quite simply be taken to mean "I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I like to repeat BS from 9/11 conspiracy websites."


Does that mean that just about anything typed by many of our resident truthers could be considered a pyroclastic post?

[Debaser]

I think there are a couple of sceptics on there but it's a Rourkes Drift scenario and to paraphrase a classic movie "The Sentries have come in from the hill. They report Truthers to the southeast. Thousands of them".

Never mind. Just find a stirring rendition of 'Men of Harlech', stand up straight, and face 'em down like a man.



And do your top button up, you slovenly JREF'er!!

[dudalb]

For me, it's a coin-flip between Flat-earthers and Young Earth Creationists. Neither position is tenable considering the evidence to the contrary yet both viewpoints persist.


I agree both are absurd, but don't know if they qualify as conspiracy theories. This thread is about conspiracy theories, not crazy ideas in general.

[NWO Sentryman]

David Icke's Lizards,

Or Timecube

[dudalb]

I think the craziest Conspiracy Theory is that 19 Arabs with boxcutters could take over four airliners,,elude the whole US Defense and Intelligence Establishment, and crash the airliners into Skyscrapers without being stopped. End of 9/11 Truther mode.

I am actually surprised that no Conspiracy loon has tried that tactic in this thread.

[Peace]

I think the craziest Conspiracy Theory is that 19 Arabs with boxcutters could take over four airliners,,elude the whole US Defense and Intelligence Establishment, and crash the airliners into Skyscrapers without being stopped. End of 9/11

That would be mine, and the official JFk story.

[dudalb]

That would be mine, and the official JFk story.

Speak of the Devil.........

[theboxingRabbi]

You'd think with me being a Jew, I would automatically gravitate to Holocaust denial, the Protocols, Jews supposedly running world finance, etc. But I have to agree with Jontg above - it's definitely David Icke and his "shape-shifting-NWO-reptilians that have taken over the U.S. Government" lunacy.

[theboxingRabbi]

Can we have a "shape-shifting reptilian" smilie installed on the forum? LOL!

[BazBear]

Darn, a tough one to pick. It depends on how one defines what is absurd.

Personally I'll have to go with the Apollo Hoax theory, if only because it's the CT I know most about, and the reality of I knew fairly well before I ever encountered this woo (and know a great deal more about it now; the woo actually does serve an educational purpose in many of these CTs as it turns out...and I'm sure most of you know).

Scientology might be the best scam/CT (or at least many of it's premises are CTs ) of the last century. A mediocre SciFi writer concocts a tale of aliens, thetans; devises BS pseudoscience in so many areas, and suckers all sorts into it's fold, including those who have no excuse to be so freaking gullible...well I guess a pretty/handsome face and decent acting ability don't mean you can smell BS after all; especially after you've forked out several hundred thousands dollars and your ego forces you into denial lol (at least that's my take with the Hollywood crowd who've bought into this crap)

Just my 2 cents, all the others put up for nomination here also deserve an honorable mention from me:)

[Dave Rogers]

I think the craziest Conspiracy Theory is that 19 Arabs with boxcutters could take over four airliners,,elude the whole US Defense and Intelligence Establishment, and crash the airliners into Skyscrapers without being stopped. End of 9/11 Truther mode.

I am actually surprised that no Conspiracy loon has tried that tactic in this thread.

That's because I pre-mocked them in post #56.

Dave

[Peace]

That's because I pre-mocked them in post #56.

Dave

And I thought it was because a handful of CTers post here. You rock Dave.

[portlandatheist]

What is that last line?

Its along the same lines as free energy suppression, etc. Its the notion that incandescent bulbs could last much longer but are designed to fail early. If there was only one light bulb company, perhaps but not in the real world.

[Andrew Wiggin]

My vote: The one that starts out talking about how there was this young jewish activist who thought we should all be good to each other, but he pissed off the various authorities of the day, so they hunted him down, perpetrated various atrocities against him, nailed him to a post and left him to die, but somehow he didn't die and he came back, therefore you have to live your life in a certain restricted way, as set out by the authorities of the current day, who somehow stink of the original post-nailing crowd that our young activist rebelled against, so you can gain the favor of this young jew's father's spirit, or else go to a nasty place underground and be tortured forever.

That one gets me every time.

A.

[Klimax]

Its along the same lines as free energy suppression, etc. Its the notion that incandescent bulbs could last much longer but are designed to fail early. If there was only one light bulb company, perhaps but not in the real world.

This is here known as China/Poland crapmade. Not a conspiracy,but statement of quality...

[Mrs. Hmmphries]

Time Cube, Icke and Scientology in that order.
Maybe Scientology tied with the Paul is dead people and Flat Earthers.
Next would be moon hoaxers, troofers and antivaxx, but my head starts to hurt if I try to put that in any sort of order...

[DDWW]

To me it's the fellow who was claiming to have some type of super life extension formula. Was arrested for fraud.

Turns out he has been making that same claim for the past 500 years!

Geessh! Can’t they get charlatans like this ever to stop this nonsense!


DDWW

[patchbunny]

David Icke's reptillians are up at the top, followed by birthers. I can't throw 9/11 troofers in there as there is some engineering involved that can cause genuine confusion, but Icke and Orly require basic, determined stupidity.