Prayer Before Sex

[RandFan]

I'm not making this up.

British prayer book for spouses includes 'Prayer Before Making Love' (http://www.catholicnews.com/data/stories/cns/0903950.htm)


LONDON (CNS) -- A prayer for couples to recite "before making love" has been included in a new British book of prayers for married couples.

The 64-page "Prayer Book for Spouses" contains prayers for every station of family and married life, including engagement, planning a family, raising children and caring for sick and dying relatives.

The booklet, published by the Catholic Truth Society, a London-based publisher and charity, also includes a "Prayer Before Making Love."

The prayer reads: "Father, send your Holy Spirit into our hearts. Place within us love that truly gives, tenderness that truly unites, self-offering that tells the truth and does not deceive, forgiveness that truly receives, loving physical union that welcomes.

"Open our hearts to you, to each other and to the goodness of your will," it says. "Cover our poverty in the richness of your mercy and forgiveness. Clothe us in true dignity and take to yourself our shared aspirations, for your glory, forever and ever. Mary, our mother, intercede for us. Amen."

Oh god, oh god, ooooohhhhhh..... GOD!

[Gmonster2]

Before going out I too offer up a prayer to the FSM. I hope I get some tonight:)

[RandFan]

Before going out I too offer up a prayer to the FSM. I hope I get some tonight:)Best of luck my friend. Clearly you are a man. The difference between men and women is that men wonder if they will get lucky. Women know.

[Ausmerican]

RandFan I have 2 questions.
1) Is during sex good enough?
2) Does "Oh god, please, not yet!" count?

[Madalch]

Why am I suddenly picturing a priest praying, "Please God don't let her wake up yet?"

[Andrew Wiggin]

Why am I suddenly picturing a priest praying, "Please God don't let herhim wake up yet?"

Fixed it for ya.

In an only slightly more serious note, does 'please god, don't let her get pregnant' count? How about 'Oh god oh god oh god'. I've been told, though had no confirmation (read 'I personally don't, and no one I've had the fortune to see has either), that even athiests call on god during orgasm.

A.

[The Atheist]

Suffering to come unto Jesus.

[skeptifem]

Weird. An IRL Book of Very Common Prayer.

[Hux]

As in "Jesus Christ, not on the curtains again"? Sorry.

[devnull]

As in "Jesus Christ, not on the curtains again"? Sorry.

lololololol

[Bobby078]

A prayer for couples to recite "before making love" has been included in a new British book of prayers for married couples.

So they fall to their knees and pray before he inserts it?

[JihadJane]

Prayer Before Sex

Why not?

Sex is often improved by a little meditation beforehand.

[arthwollipot]

We covered this on the Nonsense Podcast, episode 10 (http://www.nonsensepodcast.com/index.php?post_id=526833).

The thing everyone is missing about this is that the prayer book contains prayers to be used at all points in a relationship - dating, marriage, buying a house, preparing for children, and yes, having sex. The sex prayer is only a small part of it though. What it is is an example of the church trying to control all aspects of a person's life - in and out of the bedroom.

[welshdean]

".....for your glory,"
Is that 'Morning Glory'?


".... forever and ever."
For ever and ever?:eek: My inadequacies exposed again.


".......mother, intercede for us. Amen"
What, we're supposed to think of our mum before we have sex, :blush:.

[Mojo]

We covered this on the Nonsense Podcast, episode 10 (http://www.nonsensepodcast.com/index.php?post_id=526833).


And here:

http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=152801

[Sledge]

So they fall to their knees and pray before he inserts it?

"While you're down there..."

[HansMustermann]

Well, while they're at making prayers for such common day-to-day situations, here are a few more prayers or psalms I'd like to see included:

"Oh Lord, don't let her get pregnant"

"Deliver us from AIDS, oh Jesus"

"Oh heavenly Father, make him last at least 10 seconds longer this time"

[RandFan]

Well, while they're at making prayers for such common day-to-day situations, here are a few more prayers or psalms I'd like to see included:

"Oh Lord, don't let her get pregnant"

"Deliver us from AIDS, oh Jesus"

"Oh heavenly Father, make him last at least 10 seconds longer this time""Jesus Christ, where's the lube?"

[Hux]

"Jesus Christ, will you be careful with my Kidneys"

Or is that just me? :p

[Aitch]

As I pointed out in the other thread, there already was a prayer:

"For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful."

[Hux]

Yes but what about the givers?

[Ron_Tomkins]

As I pointed out in the other thread, there already was a prayer:

"For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us truly thankful."

Yes but what about the givers?

They are already free of sin.

[Hux]

Cool, so it doesn't matter where they put it?

Why then the the Christian furore about how some people aim?

[Ron_Tomkins]

Cool, so it doesn't matter where they put it?

Why then the the Christian furore about how some people aim?

Are you sure you're talking about the Bible and not the Kama Sutra? ;)

[Hux]

Strangely I have not read the Kama Sutra. The pages of my copy were all stuck together.

However, if givers are not sinners, why do Christians care what homosexuals get up to? Or, why do they care if hetero's use the exit rather than the entrance? I mean of course apart from the fact its none of their Goddamn business?

[Z]

So is this what you'd call forepray?

[Z]

Fixed it for ya.

In an only slightly more serious note, does 'please god, don't let her get pregnant' count? How about 'Oh god oh god oh god'. I've been told, though had no confirmation (read 'I personally don't, and no one I've had the fortune to see has either), that even athiests call on god during orgasm.

A.

They say there are no atheists in foxes' holes.

[Hux]

So is this what you'd call forepray?

Turning Japanese? :D

[Z]

Turning Japanese? :D

Not this weekend - I'm with the wife... ;)

[tasteless joke]They say a Japanese maiden's favorite holiday is Election Day...[/tasteless joke]

If you don't get it, pronounce the joke in Engrish...

[Hux]

Yes I think we get it.

Tasteless joke #2:

My friend shagged a girl with Eczema. He said she had cracking tits. :D

[Ralph]

I give credit to any guy who can keep it up....after his wife/gf starts praying to jesus before
doing it.

[Quinn]

I'm quite surprised, and even a little disappointed, that the prayer didn't include anything about "letting a child be conceived if it be your divine will," or some such. Those folks usually don't miss an opportunity to drive home one of their all-time favorite themes.

[laca]

Mary, our mother, intercede for us

Hmmm... Incest, threesome, double incest... Yep, sounds like Christianity to me. :)

[Polaris]

".......mother, intercede for us. Amen"
What, we're supposed to think of our mum before we have sex, :blush:.

That would be that controversial hot Mexican virgin Mary from the very recent past. She helps things if your partner looks like Elizabeth Dole, and you're out of Viagra.

I wonder, is that prayer strictly for missionary position vanilla sex? What about the better positions (which is all of them). What about oral or anal? What about bondage, auto-erotic asphyxiation, rimming, snowballing, or orgies? I'd be willing to set aside my atheism for a little while if a prayer would help me engage in most of those! (Just not AEA or snowballing - ew.)

[Ron_Tomkins]

What about sex before prayer? Is that one alright?

[JihadJane]

Sex god?

[Ron_Tomkins]

Sex god?

I'm sorry, did you call me?

[Skeptical Greg]

Never mind ..