The Chewbacca Defense

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

Hello everyone,

This is my first post on here. I like to help debunk the most common of 9/11 Conspiracy Theories that are out there. I figured I'd start out with something amusing for everyone to enjoy. I've confronted those 9/11 Truthers before and know how they act. I just want this thread to be civil, if the Truthers can handle it. Thanks!

My view on the 9/11 Truth Movement and their New Investigation into the event of 9/11. If the Truth Movement actually went to court! Remember the "Chewbacca Defense" as it was played out in the O.J. Simpson Trial by Johnny Cochran? RIP Johnny!

9/11 Truth Movement Defense Attorney:

"Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. (shows a picture of Chewbacca) Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending the truth that 9/11's an Inside Job, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin the Emancipation ,[approaches and softens] does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must aquit! The defense rests."

The above "Chewbacca Defense" comment is referenced by South Park.

[DavidJames]

I've got a bad feeling about this.

[Giggywig]

Shouldn't there be a reference to South Park somewhere in there?

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

South Park Reference coming up. Have to edit!

[Thunder]

I am not a committee!!!!

[JohnG]

LTWW!*





*Let The Wookie Win

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

I'm a big Star Wars fan and I love the quotes guys and gals!

[WildCat]

So Darth Vader brought down the towers with the Death Star?

[Thunder]

Is it possible to learn this power? Not from a Jedi.

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

So Darth Vader brought down the towers with the Death Star?

Where's Judy Wood and James (Jim) Fetzer when you need them? I'm pretty sure they'll get their telescopes and look up in the sky to see the "Death Star is operational".

[Cl1mh4224rd]

So Darth Vader brought down the towers with the Death Star?


Perhaps. There's certainly some suspicion about his role, and the Emperor's role, in the demise of the first Death Star.

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1920944

People are waking up!

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

The Death Star is just like the Conspiracy Theories are to the Truthers.

"Don't be too proud of this techniclogical terror you've constructed." - Darth Vader

[defaultdotxbe]

i never liked the chewbacca defense, because chewbacca never lived on endor

[Orphia Nay]

So Darth Vader brought down the towers with the Death Star?

The Pentagon had Death Star type defences... it all makes sense! :eek: :tinfoil :oldroll:

[Jontg]

But is a 767 really big enough for a turbolaser to hit? Remember, these are stormtrooper gunners we're talking about.

[fezzic]

I don't know. After all, they couldn't hit a freighter (stock light freighter super modded)...

[commandlinegamer]

I think I know where you're going with this: Han shot first, so obviously the CIA used the Death Star to take out the Twin Towers (I mean that's almost a perfect anagram of Tatooine), prior to Grand Moff Tarkin's assault on Iraq (which as every schoolboy knows is actually spelt Hoth in Aramaic).

[Mr.Herbert]

Sorry... have to put my 2 cents in here

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o233/CameronFox/family-guy-blue-harvest-20080123115.jpg

[Horatius]

i never liked the chewbacca defense, because chewbacca never lived on endor



My god! Are you saying the Chewbacca Defense doesn't make sense?!? What kind of Truther are you!??!!?11?!?

[JAStewart]

So Darth Vader brought down the towers with the Death Star?
Judy Wood would have you believe that...

[Horatius]

Judy Wood would have you believe that...



Look, just because she claims it was a "Star Wars Death Beam", it doesn't automatically follow that she believes Darth Vader pulled the trigger.


In fact, did we ever see Vader use the Death Star? No! It was Tarkin and the Emperor calling the shots!

[NoZed Avenger]

Oh, like a handful of rag-tag rebels living in caves in the jungle could have destroyed the most technologically advanced weapons station of the EMPIRE, the most powerful force in the galaxy.

Right.

The name of the "rebel" involved? Skywalker. Coincidence that the Emperor's right-hand man was called "Skywalker," but had tried to hide his name and past associations? And he just *happened* to have been on the death star, and just *happened* to be the person sent to stop this "Skywalker," and just *happened* to be the one man live through the destruction of the station?

Sure. You are like Sheeple from the planet Sheep.

[alexi_drago]

They installed Tractor Beams in the towers during the powerdown, there were never any hijackers and that's how they got the planes to hit the right floors.

[Macgyver1968]

Darth Sidious, aka Emperor Palpatine, used invisible force lightning to bring down the towers. Then he brought down building 7, just to be "extra" evil. THAT'S why you don't hear the sound of explosives before the collapse.

[Horatius]

Oh, like a handful of rag-tag rebels living in caves in the jungle could have destroyed the most technologically advanced weapons station of the EMPIRE, the most powerful force in the galaxy.

Right.

The name of the "rebel" involved? Skywalker. Coincidence that the Emperor's right-hand man was called "Skywalker," but had tried to hide his name and past associations? And he just *happened* to have been on the death star, and just *happened* to be the person sent to stop this "Skywalker," and just *happened* to be the one man live through the destruction of the station?

Sure. You are like Sheeple from the planet Sheep.


And not only that, this very same "Skywalker" guy was on the Death Star just the day before, when they "let" him "escape", so they could "follow" him to the "hidden" "rebel" "base" - which just happened to have the correct type of fighters needed to execute this "attack" - a type of attack never seen before in History!

As if!

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

Oh, like a handful of rag-tag rebels living in caves in the jungle could have destroyed the most technologically advanced weapons station of the EMPIRE, the most powerful force in the galaxy.

Right.

The name of the "rebel" involved? Skywalker. Coincidence that the Emperor's right-hand man was called "Skywalker," but had tried to hide his name and past associations? And he just *happened* to have been on the death star, and just *happened* to be the person sent to stop this "Skywalker," and just *happened* to be the one man live through the destruction of the station?

Sure. You are like Sheeple from the planet Sheep.

What kind of Truther doesn't have a sense of humor? Or do you lack the sense of humor?

Come on! Chewbacca would answer this question!

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

http://www.teamteabag.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/02/0330chewbacca.jpg

[Furcifer]

"Simpson's Did It!"

Welcome to Imagination Land Chewie.

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

"Simpson's Did It!"

Welcome to Imagination Land Chewie.

Simpsons sure did everything! LOL!

Thanks! Hehe! :)

[T.A.M.]

Sorry... have to put my 2 cents in here

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o233/CameronFox/family-guy-blue-harvest-20080123115.jpg

When I see that picture, first thing I think is,

"Didn't they have Viagra?"

TAM;)

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

It's been a long time since I've seen my very first post.

So does the Chewbacca Defense fit well with the Truthers Defense that 9/11 was a "Gov. Op."?

[AaronMHatch]

For as old as he was, I'm surprised Chewie was only worth 25,000.

[9/11 Chewy Defense]

For as old as he was, I'm surprised Chewie was only worth 25,000.

I'm worth more than that! Atleast I wasn't frozen in Carbonite. :D

[dafydd]

I'm lost here,I saw the very first Star Wars film back in '78.I thought it was rubbish and I never saw another one.

[AaronMHatch]

I'm lost here,I saw the very first Star Wars film back in '78.I thought it was rubbish and I never saw another one.

I encourage you to see The Empire Strikes Back before passing judgment.

[dafydd]

I encourage you to see The Empire Strikes Back before passing judgment.

Ok,I will try that.When I saw the first one I hadn't seen any publicity and I was expecting a semi-serious film, a sort of 2001-A Space Odyssey.I ended up sitting in a cinema full of stoned hippies at a midnight showing watching a ludicrous movie full of cross-eyed baddies who couldn't shoot straight.I didn't know that film was a moving comic book.

[AJM8125]

I've got a bad feeling about this.

http://forums.randi.org/showpost.php?p=3063824&postcount=1

[ElMondoHummus]

i'm lost here,i saw the very first star wars film back in '78.i thought it was rubbish and i never saw another one.

heretic!!!!!

;)

[Sam.I.Am]

Ok,I will try that.When I saw the first one I hadn't seen any publicity and I was expecting a semi-serious film, a sort of 2001-A Space Odyssey.I ended up sitting in a cinema full of stoned hippies at a midnight showing watching a ludicrous movie full of cross-eyed baddies who couldn't shoot straight.I didn't know that film was a moving comic book.

If you are going to watch them for the first time I'd probably suggest watching them in sequential order (not in the order they came out in theaters). The last three contain a lot of spoilers for the first three and it's kinda like reading the last chapters of a book first.

Keep in mind that the special effects quality going from #3 to #4 and beyond are going to plummet (although for the time that they were released they were cutting edge technology).

[dafydd]

If you are going to watch them for the first time I'd probably suggest watching them in sequential order (not in the order they came out in theaters). The last three contain a lot of spoilers for the first three and it's kinda like reading the last chapters of a book first.

Keep in mind that the special effects quality going from #3 to #4 and beyond are going to plummet (although for the time that they were released they were cutting edge technology).

I refuse to watch the first one again.I will investigate the Empire Strikes Back.

[djlunacee]

I refuse to watch the first one again.I will investigate the Empire Strikes Back.

Iagree with Sam.I.Am, if you are not going to watch episode four then go to episode 1 before going any further, that would be The Phantom Menace.

[Sword_Of_Truth]

) Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Why would a Wookiee, an eight-foot tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of two-foot tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case?

Chewbacca never lived on Endor on a long term basis. He traveled there as part of a commando raid on an Imperial facility and departed with the New Republic (previously Rebel Alliance) fleet following the battle and victory celebration.

[dafydd]

If you are going to watch them for the first time I'd probably suggest watching them in sequential order (not in the order they came out in theaters). The last three contain a lot of spoilers for the first three and it's kinda like reading the last chapters of a book first.

Keep in mind that the special effects quality going from #3 to #4 and beyond are going to plummet (although for the time that they were released they were cutting edge technology).

What is the sequential order? Bear it in mind that I don't know any of the tiltles of the films.

[Brainache]

What is the sequential order? Bear it in mind that I don't know any of the tiltles of the films.

If you thought the original Star Wars was rubbish, then there is no way you will enjoy The Phantom Menace. The Phantom Menace makes Star Wars look intelligent, subtle and thought provoking. The only thoughts TPM provoked in me were "What happened to story?" and "Why the hell doesn't anyone tell that Lucas bloke to hire an actual writer?"

Phantom Menace is film one.

Then there were another two totally crap movies even worse than Phantom Menace.

Then Star Wars. An OK kids SF action adventure story.

Then Empire Strikes Back- A little better than Star Wars if you can find the original version without all of the annoying extra added muppets which were slapped over the sexy Leia sequence.

Then Return Of The Jedi. OK resolution to the cliff-hangers at the end of Empire Strikes Back.

[dafydd]

If you thought the original Star Wars was rubbish, then there is no way you will enjoy The Phantom Menace. The Phantom Menace makes Star Wars look intelligent, subtle and thought provoking. The only thoughts TPM provoked in me were "What happened to story?" and "Why the hell doesn't anyone tell that Lucas bloke to hire an actual writer?"

Phantom Menace is film one.

Then there were another two totally crap movies even worse than Phantom Menace.

Then Star Wars. An OK kids SF action adventure story.

Then Empire Strikes Back- A little better than Star Wars if you can find the original version without all of the annoying extra added muppets which were slapped over the sexy Leia sequence.

Then Return Of The Jedi. OK resolution to the cliff-hangers at the end of Empire Strikes Back.

You are not exactly encouraging me here.

[Sam.I.Am]

You should see them if only so that people don't look at you funny when you say that you haven't seen them or when someone makes a cultural reference and you don't get it.:p

[Brainache]

You are not exactly encouraging me here.

You are correct.

Watch them for the reasons Sam.I.Am suggests, but don't say I didn't warn you.

[Scott Jurgenson]

I loved this episode of South Park.