Sending the Jehovah's Witnesses packing [Archive]

CSSMariner

5th January 2003, 07:33 PM

I went through Salt Lake City three times in December. On the way from Fort Lauderdale to Alaska for a project, once again on the way from Alaska to San Diego for another project, and again on the way back from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale. In Salt Lake City I was waiting for the flight and noticed a drop dead gorgeous sweet young thing of about college age reading a book.

There were two open seats, one on each side of her, so I grabbed one before some other lecherous old bastard like me took it. Then a clean looking young lad about her age sat down and they were obviously friends. I struck up a conversation with the two of them while admiring the lady as unobtrusively as possible.

I discovered that both of them were headed home to Dallas, which was the next stop on the way to Florida, and both of them were on the way from Idaho. It turned out that both were LDS and were in school at a LDS operation in Idaho. I said I thought only zonked-out retreatists lived in the woods of Idaho and they pretty much agreed. I asked about the pedaling prophet bit, and they said both of them also did their duty at the pedals early in their novice years, and I was floored. Now if she had shown up at my front door, I would have had to listen just to be allowed to look at her for as long as she wanted to stay.

c4ts

5th January 2003, 07:40 PM

Originally posted by CSSMariner
I went through Salt Lake City three times in December. On the way from Fort Lauderdale to Alaska for a project, once again on the way from Alaska to San Diego for another project, and again on the way back from San Diego to Fort Lauderdale. In Salt Lake City I was waiting for the flight and noticed a drop dead gorgeous sweet young thing of about college age reading a book.

There were two open seats, one on each side of her, so I grabbed one before some other lecherous old bastard like me took it. Then a clean looking young lad about her age sat down and they were obviously friends. I struck up a conversation with the two of them while admiring the lady as unobtrusively as possible.

I discovered that both of them were headed home to Dallas, which was the next stop on the way to Florida, and both of them were on the way from Idaho. It turned out that both were LDS and were in school at a LDS operation in Idaho. I said I thought only zonked-out retreatists lived in the woods of Idaho and they pretty much agreed. I asked about the pedaling prophet bit, and they said both of them also did their duty at the pedals early in their novice years, and I was floored. Now if she had shown up at my front door, I would have had to listen just to be allowed to look at her for as long as she wanted to stay.

But that never acutally happens, does it? It's always the blonde guy with the crue cut and the funny upturned nose.

CSSMariner

5th January 2003, 07:48 PM

I have never had one, or for that matter two, of the LDS whatever they are called stop by, but the ones I do see on the streets in South Florida are always dudes. I wonder where they send the cuties????? Not here, I suppose they are afraid some recruiter for a South American drug lord or a Middle East sheik will snatch them off the street and export them.

All the lads are always trim, which I suppose is normal enough from pedaling that nefarious volume (bible) around all the time. I was trim too when I was pedaling a hundred miles a week, then I was hit by a woman driver in a rush to get to work, and the rest is history.

BroodingSkill

5th January 2003, 07:50 PM

I just don't answer the door. That seems to work fine for me, after a while they take the hint and just stop coming.

CSSMariner

5th January 2003, 07:56 PM

I see it as a challenge and good sport. Baiting those folks is just plain fun.

shemp

5th January 2003, 08:25 PM

Of course, there's another tactic. Try to convert them to some other religion. Keep a copy of the Koran or the Torah around, or if you're adventurous, Anton LaVey's "The Satanic Bible." Study just enough so that you sound legit when you try to convert them.

Nova Land

6th January 2003, 12:04 AM

Originally posted by CSSMariner
I had two of that "Kingdon Hall" witnessing crowd show up uninvited at my front door again Saturday. I pretended to have been rousted from a deep sleep and opened my door nude while rubbing my eyes and yawning. That seemed to work. Does anyone have any more creative ideas if another pair returns?

...I am tired of being evangelized at my front door. I actually enjoy talking with JWs, although they are largely interested in sticking to certain rehearsed scripts and the conversations are more interesting to me if I can get them past those.

I also enjoy conversations with Mormons. My neighbors a couple years back were Mormons, and I enjoyed talking with them and learning more about their beliefs. They had some cartoon videos (screenplays by Orson Scott Card!) which had animated versions of stories from the Book of Mormon, and I enjoyed borrowing and watching some of these, as well as a cartoon about the life of Joseph Smith.

I could probably be more helpful to you if your question were how to have an enjoyable conversation with such people. However, to the question of how to get rid of them, on the (frequent) occasions when I have not had time for talking to such people I have found the following technique useful. What I do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk with you about this now."

That method may not work well for you, since it implies you are willing to talk another time. JWs that you say that to may then ask when a good time to return would be, or simply return at a later date to see if you are able to talk then. So, for the missionary types I have no interest in talking with, I use a different method: I say to them, "No, I have no interest in talking about this with you."

JWs make a list of places to return to. For example, if the person has taken literature and expressed a willingness to talk again, or if the person was not home when they came by, they will make a note of this to remind them to make a follow-up call. If you politely but clearly express that you are not interested in being visited again, most that I have encountered will put you on their "don't return to" list.

Lord Kenneth

6th January 2003, 12:19 AM

Originally posted by Nova Land
I actually enjoy talking with JWs, although they are largely interested in sticking to certain rehearsed scripts and the conversations are more interesting to me if I can get them past those.

I also enjoy conversations with Mormons. My neighbors a couple years back were Mormons, and I enjoyed talking with them and learning more about their beliefs. They had some cartoon videos (screenplays by Orson Scott Card!) which had animated versions of stories from the Book of Mormon, and I enjoyed borrowing and watching some of these, as well as a cartoon about the life of Joseph Smith.

I could probably be more helpful to you if your question were how to have an enjoyable conversation with such people. However, to the question of how to get rid of them, on the (frequent) occasions when I have not had time for talking to such people I have found the following technique useful. What I do is say, "I'm sorry, I don't have time to talk with you about this now."

That method may not work well for you, since it implies you are willing to talk another time. JWs that you say that to may then ask when a good time to return would be, or simply return at a later date to see if you are able to talk then. So, for the missionary types I have no interest in talking with, I use a different method: I say to them, "No, I have no interest in talking about this with you."

JWs make a list of places to return to. For example, if the person has taken literature and expressed a willingness to talk again, or if the person was not home when they came by, they will make a note of this to remind them to make a follow-up call. If you politely but clearly express that you are not interested in being visited again, most that I have encountered will put you on their "don't return to" list.

That's no fun! :cool:

MRC_Hans

6th January 2003, 12:26 AM

I dont think we have Mormons here in Denmark, but we do have a (dwindling) supply of JW. I never say anything to them, except "no thanks". That soon sends them away (they are not very aggressive here; years ago, somebody sent the police at them, so they watch their actions).

I once had the following conversation with a couple of young and actually rather good-loking ladies:

JW YL: "Good afternoon, would you like to hear about peace on Eath and among humans?"

Me: "No, thanks"

JW YL: "Well, how would you like an eternal life in paradisic surroundings?"

Me: "No, thanks"

JW YL: "Ehhh -- mmmm OK, have a nice day"

Me: "Thanks"(Closes door)

Thing is, those answers are designed to open a discussion, the second one is designed as a sure-fire bait, so when it fails, they have nowhere to go, except away.

Hans

Fade

6th January 2003, 12:38 AM

Ask them in for coffee and some casual sex.

Ms.Tirius

6th January 2003, 06:18 AM

The JWs around here tend to show up in the late spring or early summer, always well dressed, always boys in their late teens. I usually tell them I'm a Satanist, and that if they do not promptly remove themselves from my property, I will call upon the powers of Satan to have them destroyed. This usually sends them on their way, occassionally I will encounter a more persistent JW, in which case I start mumbling prayers backwards. That does the trick.

jimlintott

6th January 2003, 09:59 AM

I usually try to talk them into giving me their pamphlets for free. Sometimes they want to charge for them. I hope to cause them economic ruin, twelve cents at a time.

I have this fantasy of printing some atheist pamphlets and knocking on the door of the Kingdom Hall during services and asking if they would like to talk about the non-existence of the lord.

ShottleBop

6th January 2003, 11:53 AM

We live a half-mile from a JW Kingdom Hall. On the few occasions that someone has come to our door, a simple: "No thanks, I am happy with my current beliefs," has been enough to have them excuse themselves.

Many years ago, in a different house, we had several very pleasant meetings with a couple of JW missionaries. They ended abruptly when I told the "closer" they had brought in that I thought that Mary had lied about the cause of her pregnancy.

Ignatius

6th January 2003, 02:48 PM

A few weeks ago I received an email at work from my wife telling me that there were some people at our door asking if we would like to talk about Jesus. My wife said "no" and they left.

I was absolutely crushed. "Did you ask them to come back later?!" I asked (she knows I live for this kind of thing).

"No, I didn't even think of it until they left", she replied.

I really wonder how they would react when someone leaps to their feet excitedly and says "By all means! Come in, come in! Can I get you anything to drink? Make yourself at home!" while rushing around, beside myself, grinning from ear to ear and rubbing my hands together.

justsaygnosis

6th January 2003, 06:42 PM

I had a couple of mormon's come by one sunday somewhere around 1996. When I opened the front door my dogs went outside to see who was there. One's a chocolate lab and the other a yellow lab, both curiously friendly.
They went about 90 pounds apiece so the younger, (I learned the mormon's travel with an elder and a learner, much like the jedi),started backing off the front porch.
I assured him the dogs had been trained on jehovah witnesses so he had nothing to worry about so long as he didn't pull any pamphlets out of his knapsack.
They never came back.
As for JW's I find that if I invite them to come to catholic church with me on sunday and in exchange I'll go with them to kingdom hall later works like a charm.

Nova Land

8th January 2003, 09:38 AM

A friend of mine, who is very interested in Swedenborg, Cayce, near death experiences, the question of consciousness (where it comes from, how mind relates to body, etc.) enjoys arguing philosophy and religion with almost anyone. He lives in rural Pennsylvania. Today he heats his house mostly with wood, and keeps the living area fairly warm, but some years back he used coal and was more sparing in its use. Since he did a good amount of work outside, and dressed warmly, the indoor temperature felt quite comfortable to him even if not so comfortable to some visitors.

A pair of affluent JWs drove up one day (in this neighborhood, going door to door by foot would have been impractical) and asked if he'd like to discuss religion with them. He gave them a warm reception -- well, friendly might be a better word, as the room evidently was not as warm as they were used to. He was delighted to engage them in a discussion on different religious beliefs, and the discussion went on for quite some time -- longer, evidently, than they were comfortable, as one was noticeably shivering.

A month or so later, the missionaries were again making their rounds and came to call. This time, however, one of them stayed in their car, with the heater on, until the other was finished.

I forget whether he said they returned several more times (with the one always staying in the car) or if that was the last time he saw them.

It would seem that with missionaries, as with many things in life, the more eager and comfortable you are to discuss something controversial with others, the less eager and comfortable they may feel about talking with you.

Skeptical Greg

8th January 2003, 10:22 AM

The important thing to remember about JW's (if they are properly indoctrinated, and they are not likely to
be knocking on doors, if they are not ), is that, they are not so interested in converting you, as they are
about carrying out their supposed mission ( spreading the word).

They take very seriously, a verse from the bible, about ' shaking the dust from their feet, and not returning
to a house where they are not well received '..

If you tell them ' you are not interested ', they will leave you alone.

Ian Osborne

8th January 2003, 10:36 AM

The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life.

What a great religion...

Doorknob

8th January 2003, 10:49 AM

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life.

What a great religion...

This post indicates you don't really know what JW's believe. For one, they don't believe in Hell, at least not in the "mainstream" way. For a JW, Hell/Sheol/Hades/etc is simply the grave where you are asleep in death awaiting resurrection, there is no conscieousness, not a place of eternal punishment.

And there is no "ultimate sin". Saying you've had a blood transfusion will in no way scare them off. It DOES matter what you do later in life, you can always repent.

scribble

8th January 2003, 10:52 AM

"I couldn't be a Jehovah's Witness. I didn't see the accident."

Skeptical Greg

8th January 2003, 10:54 AM

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more, as you're already bound for Hell, no matter what you do in later life.

What a great religion...

JW's do have a Bible based aversion to blood transfusions, and do not willingly submit to them, or allow
family members to receive them. But having had one, as a non-JW, would not be a basis for them not
wanting to witness to you.

They also do not believe that there is a hell, where the souls of non believers, spend eternity.

I think you may have them confused with some other group.

Ian Osborne

8th January 2003, 11:04 AM

Originally posted by Diogenes
They also do not believe that there is a hell, where the souls of non believers, spend eternity.

No, the lost are destroyed, not punished for all eternity. Many Christians believe that too, arguing Hell is the final destruction of the soul.

But is the exact defenition of what they mean by Hell really that important? JWs have been known to let their children die rather than have a blood transfusion.

Skeptical Greg

8th January 2003, 12:41 PM

Originally posted by Ian Osborne

No, the lost are destroyed, not punished for all eternity. Many Christians believe that too, arguing Hell is the final destruction of the soul.

But is the exact defenition of what they mean by Hell really that important?

It is, if you are a JW.

JWs have been known to let their children die rather than have a blood transfusion.

This is true.
But what does that have to do with.....?
The ultimate sin for a Jehovah's Witless is having a blood transfusion. If you say you've had one, they'll leave you alone for ever more.....

Which is your statement, that I questioned....

Pyrts

8th January 2003, 12:53 PM

Tell them you're Jewish.

For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert.

Doorknob

8th January 2003, 01:16 PM

Originally posted by Pyrts
Tell them you're Jewish.

For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert.

That's not true either.

CSSMariner

8th January 2003, 01:21 PM

I always thought conversion was the very nature of the spooks going door to door in the first place. In my NC hometown they said for many years they were raising money to build a church, then never did as far as I know. I always thought they were fruitcakes in any case.

whitefork

8th January 2003, 01:34 PM

You can always rant about gravitons and free-willy.

pupdog

8th January 2003, 04:31 PM

I asked them what mosquitoes in heaven feed on, & tell them about my studies in geology & evolution.

But I haven't had any visits since I got a dog.

ShottleBop

8th January 2003, 04:39 PM

Tell them you're Jewish.

For whatever reason, the Mormons, JWs, and others don't try to convince the Jews to convert

We're Jewish, and the JWs I referred to above were extremely interested in converting us. I know that their "how to" documentation includes instructions specifically relating to the conversion of Jews; they are (or were, some 30 years ago) under the impression that the typical Jew cannot take a piss without getting his/her rabbi's permission.

I have also had many talks with Mormons. They also appeared interested in converting Jews.

8th January 2003, 04:56 PM

I let my kids answer the door, and just stand there to make sure they don't invade the premises.

My kids are really, REALLY fast with the question "why". They are also good at 'how can I test that claim", "but what is your evidence", "other than what some guy wrote in a book, how can I find out", and "but how can I have faith if there is nothing to have faith about".

It's interesting. The LDS folks mostly are polite, somewhat astonished, say "thank you" and go on their way without looking terribly distressed. Some of the older missionaries from other denominations get remarkably angry, some of them at me.

I nod to the elder offspring, then, and she closes the door. She may be 12, but she's also 5'5" and about 120 skinny, muscular pounds. The door closes :D

8th January 2003, 05:05 PM

----
Does anyone have a clever method of tossing a stick into the bicycle spokes of the pedaling profits out of Utah when they come by? I am tired of being evangelized at my front door.
----

Yeah, althought it isn't too clever- put up a sign that says no soliciting.

subgenius

8th January 2003, 05:17 PM

Originally posted by Fade
Ask them in for coffee and some casual sex.
I thought of this excellent approach (add being in the nude) only minutes after I sent a couple of JW foxes away. Damn, next time!

thaiboxerken

8th January 2003, 05:39 PM

My wife uses a tactic that works very well for both religious sales and retail sales people. She yell's "NOT INTERESTED" and then slams the door.

CSSMariner

8th January 2003, 06:08 PM

Originally posted by Whodini
[BYeah, althought it isn't too clever- put up a sign that says no soliciting. [/B]

I had one in contrasting colors on the front door of our home, didn't work with a lot of folks, especially the JW creeps.

On the front of my business I put a little sign that went, "NO SOLICITING, we feed every third salesman to the 'gators out back and the second one just left." Didn't work either.

Since we are not a walk-in business, we just locked the door. Then they would knock, so I would just look out of the door to the lab area, then close it. That worked.

Now I'm moving out into a rural area of Texas northwest a little from Fort Worth. I plan to fence in the eight acres and let the dogs roam as they will. Bet that works for everybody by damn.

The Whether Man

9th January 2003, 12:31 AM

I tell them a Skoda joke.

"What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Skoda?
You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness."

Then suit action to words.

subgenius

9th January 2003, 06:09 AM

Originally posted by The Whether Man
I tell them a Skoda joke.

"What's the difference between a Jehovah's Witness and a Skoda?
You can close the door on a Jehovah's Witness."

Then suit action to words.
May I be the first: WTF is a Skoda?

CSSMariner

9th January 2003, 06:43 AM

Originally posted by subgenius

May I be the first: WTF is a Skoda?

A car, very famous European Automobile. Racing for most of its history. Wow, its interesting hw many twists and turns a string will take.

Have a look at www.skoda-auto.com

MRC_Hans

9th January 2003, 06:48 AM

Heheh, I was a little surprised too, I thought they were a strictly Danish phenomenon. Skoda is a Chech car brand. They started back in the thirties and made excellent and very durable cars. During the seventies and eighties, they made cars with typical East European charactersitcs; their three main advantages were: 1) Low price. 2) Low price. 3) Low price.

Especially in the eighties and early nineties, Skoda jokes flourished here.

Another example:

A Skoda and a donkey meet on a country road.
"Hello car!" Says the donkey.
"Hello donkey!" Replies the Skoda.
"Ewww!" Says the donkey "Now I called you a car, at least you could have called me Horse"

Lately, Skoda has been on close cooperation (and ownership) with Volkswagen, and the later models have a quality fully comparable with other good brands of cars. Of course, now the prices are also comparable with other good brands .....

Hans

Ian Osborne

9th January 2003, 06:53 AM

What do you call an open-topped Skoda? A skip.

Why does a Skoda have a heated rear windscreen? To keep your hands warm while you're pushing it.

A man walks into a garage and says, 'I want a petrol cap for my Skoda'. The attendant replies, 'sounds like a fair swap to me'...

The defenition of a whistle - a Skoda with a beach ball on the seat.

subgenius

9th January 2003, 07:02 AM

I never pass up the chance to show off my little baby.

subgenius

9th January 2003, 07:04 AM

Originally posted by Ian Osborne
What do you call an open-topped Skoda? A skip.

Why does a Skoda have a heated rear windscreen? To keep your hands warm while you're pushing it.

A man walks into a garage and says, 'I want a petrol cap for my Skoda'. The attendant replies, 'sounds like a fair swap to me'...

The defenition of a whistle - a Skoda with a beach ball on the seat.
You damn furiners;) , now WTF is a skip?
Skreek english dammit. :p

thaiboxerken

9th January 2003, 08:01 AM

Originally posted by subgenius
I never pass up the chance to show off my little baby.

I had a honda 600 when I was in High School. I drove the heck out of that thing... and wrecked it.

Ian Osborne

9th January 2003, 08:32 AM

Originally posted by subgenius
You damn furiners;) , now WTF is a skip?
Skreek english dammit. :p

BIIIIIG rented refuse container that's delivered and retrieved by a specially-designed truck. Check out this skip hire site. (http://www.aswhittakerhireaskip.co.uk/)

davefoc

9th January 2003, 10:04 AM

I am always polite. It seems like they are trying to save my soul and I don't see any reason to dump on them for that.

In the past I used the "My wife is a catholic" dodge. This was, of course, a weasily response, but I was trying to be considerate of their feelings.

Once, I engaged in a discussion. The guy's beliefs seemed to be based on the infallibility of the bible and he wanted to argue everything based on a biblical interpretation. When I asked why such faith in the bible, he didn't have any answer that I understood.

The last time, I just thanked them for their concern but explained that I was an atheist. Less sensitive perhaps, but I felt a little better about being honest.

Enjoyed the Skoda jokes.

Doctor X

9th January 2003, 01:22 PM

Be nice to 'em if they don't get on your nerves... represent atheism well. You probably won't counteract the brainwashing but it's worth a try, right?

Where is the fun in that?!!

Anyways, my favorite comes from a few years ago [Cue Sounds of Winter Winds Blowing through the Bare Branches.--Ed.]

A friend was about to graduate from high school. His house was set back a bit, so people had a walk to get to the front door. His brother--who looked like Ozzie on a particularly bad day--ran into his room:

"Do you have your graduation gown?!!"

"Yeah . . . why---"

"GIMME YOUR GRADUATION GOWN!!!"

By the time the JWs reached the door and knocked, his brother opened dressed in black, holding a cross upside down with "666" painted on it with White Out [Tm.--Ed.]

"Mmmmmmmmyyyyeeeeesssssss?"

As they stared in silent horror, he turned his head over his shoulder and yelled, "Honey?! I think the sacrifices are here!"

As his brother tells the story now, "I did not think you could run that fast with those briefcases."

--J.D.

subgenius

9th January 2003, 01:27 PM

Now that's representin' atheism.

Frostbite

9th January 2003, 01:36 PM

I usually slash my wrists and spray them with my blood. It scares them.

mindless

10th January 2003, 08:45 AM

Originally posted by Frostbite
I usually slash my wrists and spray them with my blood. It scares them.

I usualy slash their wrists and spray myself with their blood. It scares them more.

Nova Land

10th January 2003, 09:43 AM

Originally posted by Dark Cobra

That's no fun! :cool: A couple of people have indicated that having a polite conversation with JWs and other missionaries is not fun, so I'd like to point out ways it can be.

Depending on one's mood, and the nature of the missionaries, one can have a number of enjoyable conversations.

I enjoy learning about other people's beliefs, so my preference would generally be to say little and let them expound. However, their goal, generally, is to get the person they are talking with to express agreement with their beliefs (not simply to listen passively). So already you have the makings for an interesting challenge!

Many missionaries will, for instance, introduce some concept or term and then ask their listener to explain what it means. The exercise they seem to have in mind is sort of like a catechism: they ask a leading question, and the listener is supposed to provide the indicated answer.

Consider it a game, if you like. If they can get you to read out loud from their materials, or to "fill in the blank" they leave with the answer they have in mind, they win. If you can answer their questions politely and responsively without giving the appearance of agreeing with the answers they are seeking, you win.

One simple form of answer I use, for example, is "I think what you are looking for is... ", which allows me to provide the answer they are seeking without saying I agree with it. (If they invite you to explain your odd wording or to explain what you believe, that's good too. Now they've invited you to proselytize them, and it's their challenge to find a polite way to get back to their script.)

What's challenging, fun, and helpful in understanding more about their beliefs than their prepared script gives, is to get them off script. For example, JWs often begin by asking if one would like "to live forever in paradise on earth"? I usually respond, "No," and explain that I rather like the idea of a finite life-span, that the idea of living forever sounds nice as a fantasy but that there are too many practical problems with it. One response I got from a pair of JWs was that this is probably because I hadn't thought about the idea enough. I in turn responded that, on the contrary, I had thought about it a great deal, that it comes up often in science fiction, and while people often assume it must be wonderful there are actually many drawbacks...

Now the missionaries have the choice of entering into a discussion of various science fiction stories about negative aspects of immortality, or of glossing over this opening bit about immortality and moving on to their next bit on the script. Their problem is that each bit of their script usually builds from your answer to the previous bit, so it's hard for them to just move to the second bit when you've just said you don't want to live forever in paradise.

Many of them are quite skillful at spotting conversational terrain that will be awkward for them, and getting back to their familiar grounds, and it can be a pleasure to watch their techniques. Others, especially novices, are less skilled, and more easily lured into discussions of science fiction or other topics before they realize they have lost sight of their purpose in talking with you. What they say during these moments is often very interesting, and helps me understand and appreciate them as people rather than as stereotypes.

So you can enjoy the exercise on several levels, depending on your mood and personality. You can enjoy learning more about other people's beliefs; you can enjoy testing how well you can resist being manipulated in a conversation; or you can enjoy observing a skilled performance in the art of attempted persuasion.

I think that people with unusual religious beliefs may have a slight advantage over other people, including atheists, in doing these exercises. The scripts and training that missionaries are given generally assume that the people they are arguing with will be resistant to the points they are making. They are less prepared to respond to people who instead argue they are not carrying the point far enough.

The same creativity people in this thread are using to come up with imaginative ways to chase JWs away can be used in polite conversation to come up with imaginative arguments the missionaries' training did not prepare them for.

Assuming you have enough time to spend on these conversations, you may find that by the time the missionaries excuse themselves in order to continue on their rounds you are actually looking forward to picking up the discussion with them another time.

Skeptical Greg

10th January 2003, 09:55 AM

Originally posted by Nova Land
A couple of people have indicated that having a polite conversation with JWs and other missionaries is not fun, so I'd like to point out ways it can be.

Snipity doo dah .....

The same creativity people in this thread are using to come up with imaginative ways to chase JWs away can be used in polite conversation to come up with imaginative arguments the missionaries' training did not prepare them for.

Assuming you have enough time to spend on these conversations, you may find that by the time the missionaries excuse themselves in order to continue on their rounds you are actually looking forward to picking up the discussion with them another time.

Wow!! Really enjoyed your post!

We really need to be reminded sometimes, that much could be done to give Atheists a good name,
instead of being stereotyped as fundie bashers.

neutrino_cannon

10th January 2003, 11:13 PM

All the ideas for various ways to avert JW's simply by apealing to their ingrained sense of disgust are :

a: imature

b: (if you are, as I am, an atheist/agnostic/thingie) a poor repesentation in a situation that would be a time for peaceful deplomacy rather than peurile pranks.

c: A cheap source of high quality entertainment.

hmmm

Ever watched "Harold and Maude"? All inspiration on this subject can be tapped from there.

Nova Land

13th July 2003, 02:04 AM

This is a little out of date. A few months ago I picked up a copy of the February 8, 2003 issue of Awake, a Jehovah's Witness publication. For those who do not want to converse with JWs who come to the door, here is something which may be useful.

According to an article in that issue of Awake, there is a sin that god does not ever forgive: blasphemy against the spirit.

If there is a sin that god never forgives, then a person who commits that sin cannot be "saved.". If you commit this sin -- or claim that you have committed it -- then there is no point in anyone trying to convert you to their religion in order to "save your soul", because according to the bible (as Jehovah's Witnesses are currently supposed to read it) your soul is hopelessly lost.

To try to save an "unforgivable sinner" would be pointless. To tell such a person they can be saved would be a lie. Even to attempt to save such a person would be an act in clear defiance of god's explicitly stated intentions -- quite possibly an act of blasphemy of the spirit on the evangelist's part, meaning that they, too, might be irrevocably damned to hell if they tried to preach salvation to an unforgivable sinner...

That would seem to mean that unforgivable sinners are exempt from being preached at. NOTE: the following dialogue is a dramatization, not an actual encounter, and is provided for entertainment purposes only. All roles were played by professional actors; no actual home-owners or missionaries were involved. Please read all warnings and disclaimers before attempting this stunt at home.

DING-DONG! (person opens door, is confronted by missionaries)

"Excuse me, sister, are you saved?"

"No, I'm an unforgivable sinner. But you're welcome to try to save me; I'm told god looks down on that, and that means you could keep me company in hell for all eternity."

"Oh, no, that's all right. If god wants you to go to hell who am I to question the wisdom of that? I'll just see continue down the block and see if any of your neighbors are more salvageable. Sorry to have bothered you, and have a nice day."The obvious question you may be asking is: What do I need to do to qualify for this special exemption from being saved? According to the article, it is not enough simply to blaspheme. Merely denying god's existence, or making sacreligious remarks, won't cut it. (Merely claiming to be an atheist, or making off-color jokes about Jesus, wouldn't shoo dedicated missionaries away, and would likely have just the reverse effect of making them all the more eager to win over an errant soul.)

The key, according to the article, is that you need not only to commit blasphemy, but to do it deliberately and with malicious intent.

I'm not sure how one would go about proving one had been adequately malicious, but deliberateness seems easy enough, especially if one were to memorize appropriate biblical citations and could quote them, chapter and verse, as evidence of one's seriousness. The 2 key ones cited in this article are Matthew 12:31 and Hebrews 10:26.

If this tactic does work, I could imagine there being a profitable sideline for someone in producing buttons, bumper stickers, door stickers, welcome mats, etc. with slogans such as "Unforgivable sinner -- I'm beyond hope, please go next door and save my neighbor".

DISCLAIMER: My understanding is that the concept of an "unforgivable sin" is controversial, and many christians including many fundamentalists would reject such a notion. While the use of the tactic described above may be effective against some missionaries from religions that subscribe to this doctrine, I make no guarantee for its effectiveness when it is applied poorly or inappropriately (such as on a missionary who does not subscribe to the notion of unforgivable sin), and I do not accept any liability for time lost or aggravation suffered as a result of such misuse.

On the other hand, if it does work, please feel free to send me money or comic books as expressions of your gratitude.

Drifterman

13th July 2003, 04:54 AM

Whwn I first arrived in Taiwan as a teacher, my school sent a guy to the airport to pick me up. This guy turned out to be an LDS. His job was to get the new teachers settled in quickly so that the school could begin its bloodsucking as soon as possible.

Anyway, after dropping my stuff off at the hotel, the first thing he did was to take me out for a beer. If all LDSs did that, I'd bet they get more converts.

Back on topic, I don't think there are any JWs here in TW (I may be mistaken) but there are tons of LDSs. So far the best way to discourage them has been to pretend to be French.

Chanileslie

13th July 2003, 10:14 PM

Originally posted by CSSMariner
I have never had one, or for that matter two, of the LDS whatever they are called stop by, but the ones I do see on the streets in South Florida are always dudes. I wonder where they send the cuties????? Not here, I suppose they are afraid some recruiter for a South American drug lord or a Middle East sheik will snatch them off the street and export them.

All the lads are always trim, which I suppose is normal enough from pedaling that nefarious volume (bible) around all the time. I was trim too when I was pedaling a hundred miles a week, then I was hit by a woman driver in a rush to get to work, and the rest is history.

They are called Missionaries and their official title is Elder (why, I don't know because Missionaries tend to be fresh out of high school).

As to why they are invariably men, well, it is simply because women are discouraged from going on missions. They aren't told they can't, but it isn't the norm. There are a few who do do missions, but they are few and far between. My Seminary teacher, who was one of the best people I have ever met despite his religion, encouraged us "against church standards" to all do missions.

I have found that girls (for a good part) who are raised in the Mormon religion graduate high school, maybe go to college until they find a husband and then get married, drop out of school and start breeding.

I actually think the Mormon church 'picks' the good looking ones to spread their message, and I think they also choose young people for missions because they are trying to get those young and impressionable teens out there. I sincerely doubt anyone in the LDS church will agree with that, but then again, I don't think it is officially published either.

Tormac

14th July 2003, 09:21 AM

Just a little game I always like to play with anyone who calls my house or knocks on the door is "kitten salesman".

I'm the well-fare state in Blackswamp OH when it comes to stray cats. For a while it was always a good bet that I would have an extra cat living in the barn. Very few things in life provide me with more inner joy than sit down with an unsolicited salesman of any type (be it religions or vacuum cleaners) and politely, but with firm resolution and strong conviction try to get them to agree to adopt one of my stray cats.

It took me a while, honing my salesmanship skills with telemarketers, to get to the point where I could answer any question with "yes, but regardless, I'm sure you see the need for the salvation of those less fortunate than ourselves. As a matter of good stewardship I'm sure you would not neglect the chance to provide a warm loving home to one of God's creatures, and adopt a homeless cat." without bursting out with evil mirth, but once one masters this ability, one can have fun with any unsolicited conversation. (if you do not actually have a stray cat in need of adoption, just send them to the local animal shelter, they always have a surplus.) I am always amazed at the amount of insanity people will put up with to make money. ;)

edite-somehow I got the wrong smile :wink:

Chupacabras

14th July 2003, 09:55 AM

Sandy M

14th July 2003, 03:00 PM

Well, maybe I've encountered wimpy Jehovah's Witnesses and Latter Day Saints at my door - but merely saying , "I'm Catholic," usually sends 'em away with no fuss. Of course, I don't elaborate and tell them that 13 years of parochial school turned me into an atheist/agnostic, but.... they didn't ask, did they?

crocodile deathroll

17th July 2003, 11:57 PM

"Piss off"

Short and simple and works every time.

Chris Haynes

18th July 2003, 02:03 AM

I am so out of practice of repelling solicitors... though the last the JW's came by I was getting out of the powder room (and for once glad of its usually unfortunate location in full view of the front door window).

The absolutely only time I have been witty was in the past.... like when I was 13 and in the 7th grade. I was home sick when the local elderly lady JW came by. She asked me if I was the woman of the house... I just told her I was the "sick kid".

Then (and it must have been over 20 years ago)... I had a $cientlogist come by my college apartment selling some trinkets. He said he was selling these toys for his "church of $cientology"... I said "no"... and then added that there is much better science fiction than what was written by Hubburd. The look on his face was a combination of crest-fallen, shocked and angry. It was just priceless.

I am getting some good ideas here. Though for charitable solicitations I usually use the fact that I really only donate to the charity that provided therapy for one of my kids' disability (which is true). That usually makes them go "hmmm, oh, okay, thanks".

Missy

20th July 2003, 01:53 AM

Try having a brother as a Jo-ho.. ain't no door knocking there.. just waltz right in and preach.. chessh!

calladus

22nd July 2003, 02:53 PM

Originally posted by Magnifico

Be nice to 'em if they don't get on your nerves... represent atheism well. You probably won't counteract the brainwashing but it's worth a try, right?

Yes! Why be a jerk about it? Be pleasant instead.

Wouldn't it be great if the JW or Mormon would leave your house and say, "Geeze, the Baptist and the Jewish families yelled and slammed the door on us, but that atheist family was so NICE! Maybe we have them all wrong?"

If pleasant doesn't work, you always have other options to fall back on!

Personally I just tell them that I'm Atheist, and I'm not interested in converting. A couple of times I had the time to talk, and enjoyed talking with these people, the people I met were all intelligent, nice people.

Now if Fred Phelps appeared at my door, I'm sure my response would be much more aggressive!

3-toed-sloth

23rd July 2003, 11:25 PM

I had three Jehovah's Witnesses stop by about a month ago. There was an older lady and two younger guys the lady did the talking. I guess she was training the new salesman. She starts her speech by asking me if I think world peace is a good thing. I said that is was. Then she asked if ending hunger worldwide was a good goal to work towards, again I said that sounded great.

I guess she figured her two questions were enough, so she then made some statements about how the power of god could achieve these goals and how the Jehovah Witness has some special connection with god (she didn’t use those exact words, but you get the idea).

At that point, I politely told her that all of the god stuff as just a fictional story and that I wasn’t interested in her story. She then tried to make me feel guilty by saying that I was the only person in the neighborhood that felt that way. I told her that I wasn’t interested in my neighbors’ beliefs.

She looked confused for a bit and I just sat there smiling like a fool. A couple of minutes later she started to leave. She asked if I want her free magazine and I told her to save the paper since I wouldn’t read it.

It was kind of fun.

icantlogoff

27th August 2006, 07:46 PM

I know this is a age old post, but came across it while reading some posts on this great forum.

As an ex-JW and from someone who has heard every excuse and had some pretty funny experiences on people wanting you to leave, You can get them never to call on you again very simply.

Tell them I want to be listed as a "DO NOT CALL" ensure they write your address down, this is then handed to the elders and when your area comes up again your address is given out as a do not call. You will find about once a year an "elder" will cal just in case you have moved, just repeat the statement again.
ALL JW work from what is called territory maps, will they will also note "not at home' number and try them again at a different time.

Believe me the JW's will not call on a "do not call' house.

And as for all the comments mentions on this post so far, i reckon i heard them all, and a lot more. I believe being chased out of a garden with a guy swinging ( I kid you not) a chain saw at me, probably topped it for me.

Anyway Please to out of all religions now, Has given me the chance to think straight for once.

Steve

clarsct

27th August 2006, 08:58 PM

Well, this is a story I have repeated often here, and I assure you it is true.

WE had a plague of Jehovah's Witnesses at the house when I was a kid. Mom always took the literature, trying to be nice.

Now, Dad had a different take. You see, he used to BE a 'Jo Ho'(great term!!!). He had a falling out with the Kingdom Hall that culminated in him standing up in front of the Hall and telling the...whatever the hell they call their head dude...Grand Poo-bah, whatever that he was a hypocrite, that the Hall was full of lying jackasses and that God Himself would never grace such a bunch of....well ...[Content censored by Rule 8]

Fast foward about 10 years and he starts seeing these pamphlets in his house....Mind you, dad never gave up a good grudge.

So, to the meat of the story, one day Me and my father are sitting there and a car pulls up the driveway. JH's. I recognized them and told my dad, who promptly takes off his shorts, the only clothing he was wearing, and grabs the 12 gauge out of the closet. They knock, and he proceeds open the door and say "C'mon in, I wanmt to talk to YOU!!"

Now, I dunno why, but these folks had the whole family with them.....and I fear the 7-8 year old girl was never the same after that...

Oddly enough, they RAN to their cars, and never again returned.

Dunno why.:confused:

icantlogoff

27th August 2006, 09:18 PM

well , there is 18 months of therapy down the drain trying to forget that incident..... :shocked: ;)

clarsct

27th August 2006, 11:25 PM

Well, at the age of 10, it wasn't what I wanted to see, either.

However, the effectiveness of the method is beyond reproach...

RenaissanceBiker

28th August 2006, 08:17 AM

I used to get them all the time in KY. One saturday morning a middle-aged woman and a teenage girl showed up and the young lady began her speech. I listened politely then explained that I was an atheist. I said that faith is not a sufficient foundation for a system of beliefs. I could see her thinking about this. The older woman took over and began telling me about Jesus. I stopped her cold by saying, "I'm familiar with the legend." She raised her voice and said, "It is NOT a legend!" She was very defensive and accused me of trying to convert her. I pointed out that she came to my door to discuss religion. I did not come to hers. She politely accepted that that was the case and left to continue her mission.

2 weeks later she returned with her husband. He was a deacon in their church. She had obviously been discussing our encounter with him and needed some closure. He asked me if I would read a book about how science confirmed a literal interpretation of the Book of Genesis. I agreed to take it and read it on the condition that they read A Brief History of Time by Hawking. He asked if it was available at the public library and I told it should be. We agreed that they could return to discuss the origin of the universe after they finished their reading.

The book they gave me was typical young-earth creationist misrepresentations. It was easy to go point-by-point and refute it with a little research. I prepared a body of notes and waited for their return. About a month later, they did. He said that ABHOT was difficult to follow at times but he did understand what was written and could not find fault in it. I politely showed them what I found, and went on to discuss some things about probability. They agreed to simply disagree with me about our views and I thought that was the end of it.

2 weeks later, the man returned with the pastor of their church. That conversation was short, but polite. The pastor smiled the entire time but said little. He nodded everytime I spoke as if to say to the man, "I told you he would say that." or, "The devil is a good liar."

After that, I never had another visit from the JWs. They would actually skip my house when they walked down the street. Now I live in SC. They have come by a few times when I was not home and the Mrs. has sent them away by them to return later. I keep hoping they catch me sometime.

StewartP

28th August 2006, 09:32 AM

IAnyway Please to out of all religions now, Has given me the chance to think straight for once.
Steve - welcome to the forums. Its always great to have an "ex con" on board because we can benefit from your experience and your insights now that the shackels are off. ;)

elaine

28th August 2006, 10:03 AM

Foster Zygote

28th August 2006, 10:52 AM

Oddly enough, they RAN to their cars, and never again returned.

Dunno why.:confused:

That was like reading a Gene Sheppard story. =0)

"My old man had totally lost it. I loved when that happened."

Steven

Fizzer

28th August 2006, 10:54 AM

I used to get them all the time in KY.
...
2 weeks later she returned with her husband. He was a deacon in their church.
...
The book they gave me was typical young-earth creationist misrepresentations.
...
2 weeks later, the man returned with the pastor of their church.
...
After that, I never had another visit from the JWs.

You sure those were JW's? JW's are not young earth creationists. Also there are no titles "deacons" or "pastors" used. It would be Ministerial Servants and Elders, however those are not used as titles in their names (i.e. They would never say something like "I'm Elder Smith", etc.)

RenaissanceBiker

28th August 2006, 11:17 AM

The titles I gave were ones I assigned them. I don't remember the titles they actually used in conversation. They were Jehovah's Witnesses. They gave me a Watchtower on their first visit. The book they gave me later was a small hardback that said, amoung other things, that the Genesis flood carved the Grand Canyon.

Edit: I remember the "Deacon" mentioning that God could have created the light from distant stars already en route to us.

ponderingturtle

28th August 2006, 11:19 AM

Hmm I think haveing a deep conversation with them and someone who is not there might work. Insist that they stop interupting him would also be quite good.

icantlogoff

28th August 2006, 11:58 AM

It sounds like a book they have called something along the lines of .....
Mankind by evolution or by creation. It is certainly something that would be discussed by them on the 'doors'

My father used to be an elder, so he tended to get any of the doors which were deemed as difficult, the local vickerage being one of them. So i hate to say it but once i got into my late teen age, i was more than happy to argue it out with any atheist, or issue on blood etc.

I think the main thing with the JW is the confidence and blinkered elitist views they have. They do really believe they have the light and EVERYONE else is in the dark. The comment made about the elder just smiling while listening to you is a prime example.

It is true if you just flat out argue with them , they will stop calling, but you will still get the Shiite JW calling just for the practice..lol as I used to love a good challenge. Its funny cause the arguments i used to put forward, when i think about them now, just seem to ridiculous, funny how faith seems to cloud any judgement.

Steve

Walk The Line

28th August 2006, 02:19 PM

I had a bit of a difference experience with the JW's.

As I was driving to work one morning about a year ago, I quickly realized I had a flat tire. I was still in my driveway when this happened, and because I live close to a Kingdom Hall (within a stone's throw), I pulled into their parking lot. I began to work on changing my tired when a whole group of JW's rolled up. They walked into their church like I wasn't there, not offering to help me out with my tire.

Yes, there isn't really anything they could have done, but I'm still annoyed they didn't bother to ask. But, I suppose they had better things to do with their time than help out a stranger.

BTW, I notice they spend a whole lot of time at church. As in, they are there almost every day. Is this normal?

Fizzer

28th August 2006, 03:02 PM

BTW, I notice they spend a whole lot of time at church. As in, they are there almost every day. Is this normal?

Kingdom Halls are typically home to 1 to 4 different local congregations. All will meet individually at different times on Sundays and then each will meet again during the week in the evening, each on a different day. Also sometimes groups will meet there briefly before heading out to do door to door work. So it's not uncommon for there to be activity there nearly every day but not always the same group of people each day.

Gord_in_Toronto

28th August 2006, 03:56 PM

That was like reading a Gene Sheppard story. =0)
Steven

That's JEAN Sheppard. It's also, Jean SHEPHERD -- but we'll forgive you for that.

Gord
---
META SIG: "I had been an eyewitness to a truly historic moment in American pop culture."

Ryan O'Dine

28th August 2006, 04:03 PM

Seems like a JW solicitation would be a good time to develop your cold reading chops. You could interrupt their spiel with your own. “Excuse me, is there someone in your family... I’m getting an R -- Ron or Robert? Someone who’s passed?...” I wonder how much they’d put up with.

Alternatively, you could just try to get as much personal info as possible. Surely, they’d give their first name, but would they give their last? Could you get the names of family members, pets? You could probably get their neighborhood, but could you get their street address? Mother’s maiden name? Write it all down -- make them nervous.

Better yet, there should be a website. Whoever gets the most personal info wins. It’s the JW game!

icantlogoff

28th August 2006, 04:12 PM

The basic meeting/hall attendance is 5 meetings a week.
In the UK it worked out like this

Sunday: (2Hrs)
10am Public talk , normally on themes that would be understood by anyone including outside that of Jw's'
11am Watchtower study. A study article in the Watchtower, which is normally read paragraphs then ask then questions listed in the watchtower

Tuesday (1Hrs) normally in someones home in a smaller groups
7pm Book study, using one the JW's books that are published, these are read and questions asked from the book to ensure you have understood what you have learnt

Thursday (2Hrs)
7pm Theocratic Ministry school. A series of Talk given by various member of the congregation on outline subjects.
8pm Service meeting; geared more to the ministry work of door knocking, examples training and articles discussed, and also used for any talks on dangers of something that might be a problem in the congregations ( like me, when i was getting kicked out)

That's pretty much it, they have a 15 mins mini meeting before going out and knocking on your door, normally just discusses the them of what they will talk about.

Then you have the Larger circuit and district assemblies.

Steve

icantlogoff

28th August 2006, 04:13 PM

elaine

28th August 2006, 04:45 PM

How about nailing a Watchtower or Awake to the door, stained with the blood of the last JW's that came by?

Huh-What?

28th August 2006, 11:53 PM

Answer the door in a black robe and say, "One of you wouldn't happen to be a virgin?"

RenaissanceBiker

29th August 2006, 06:53 AM

elaine

29th August 2006, 06:57 AM

ponderingturtle

29th August 2006, 07:15 AM

elaine

29th August 2006, 07:20 AM

Wow they are not allowed to think up their own questions?

That would only lead to thinking for oneself. Can't have that.

I remember when I was 12, not understanding various interpretations of scripture, when the scripture was clearly saying something else. JW's like all other bible based organizations are good at torturing the scripture. I remember being told to just accept what I was being told and that I would understand some day.

I'm so glad I'm contrary by nature. Otherwise I'd still be there.

Freethinker

29th August 2006, 08:53 AM

I imagine that JW's are used to people trying to shock them. At the end of a hard day's mission, the group leader probably says, "Thanks for all your hard work. Who has a funny story from today? How many naked people answered the door?" That's why I wouldn't bother doing that.

I told two ladies who woke me up one morning after a 24 hour shift that I didn't have time for their bulls__t, and that I'd been at work since 6am yesterday and had been in bed for three f____ing hours. All they said was "Oh" before I closed the door.
I believe they were surprised.:)

Stitch

29th August 2006, 09:01 AM

I usually find they call when I have the least time to enter in to any type of conversation. I had a call from them this Saturday morning while I had a barrow full of mortar going off in the back garden, they got a terse response I'm afraid.

icantlogoff

29th August 2006, 01:16 PM

Questioning was something that was frown apon, when i say questioning, if you are asking pro-scripture questions then fine, But I clearly remember asking one of the elders a question about the organization and its roots, and then question would have come over a little negative, and I was told to be careful as That kind of questioning leads to apostacy, and a road to disfellowshiping.
So they do dumb you down , I guess like any other religion when it comes to thinging for yourself

regards

steve

bruto

29th August 2006, 10:20 PM

For a while, I had a little sign on my door that just said "Jehovah's Witnesses and other evangelists, don't waste your time." If they came anyway I made impolite inferences regarding their literacy before slamming the door.

In recent years, the JW's have become a little less aggressive, so nowadays I just say politely, "not interested," and close the door rather than slamming it. My wife tells them she's a devout Catholic (not that she is), which works pretty well.

One of my cherished childhood memories comes from when I was about 10, and a JW came to the door. My mother answered. She'd studied this stuff, and knew the material much better than he did. The guy started up his spiel, and she knocked him down every time with chapter and verse. She wouldn't let him get away with anything. After about 10 minutes, he stormed down the garden path, quite literally in tears, yelling as he went that she was going to go to hell. They left us alone for quite a while after that.

Fizzer

30th August 2006, 10:10 AM

After about 10 minutes, he stormed down the garden path, quite literally in tears, yelling as he went that she was going to go to hell. They left us alone for quite a while after that.

JW's don't believe in Hell, that's not something they would say.

gdtbiker

30th August 2006, 10:37 AM

Here's my story of JW's and LDS's.

We live in the country of Western New York. Many years ago when folks out here never bothered to lock their doors, we got back from shopping and found that JWs had been there, had opened our door and left their pamphlets on our telephone stand just inside the door. They had also apparently let our prized inside-only Siamese cat out. The next time they stopped when we were home, my mother really gave 'em hell and threatened to sue them. They never stopped back. :)

Many years later I had a visit from two LDS elders. I actually had fun debating with them. Then they said they'd have to study up on getting answers for me. They showed up again. And again I politely asked very difficult questions. I ended up agreeing to a visit from their Western New York President. He actually showed up! I couldn't believe my good fortune. I out-debated him handily. But what really made him nervous is when I pulled out my own very old copy of the Book of Mormon to follow along with his quotations. You see, the Book of Mormon is supposed to be the actual word of god as written down by Joseph Smith, But,.... since the orginal edition, the text has undergone several thousand edits to correct grammer and conflicting references. At this point, he summarized very quickly and left. I never saw him again, but I did arrange to see the other two elders again at their own church. They left by thanking me for the serious food for thought I had given them since they still could find nothing wrong with my previous arguments to their own President. I can only hope that I made some small difference, but I've noticed that no LDS'ers have ever shown up again at our house since their original visits several years ago.

gdtbiker

30th August 2006, 10:40 AM

ponderingturtle

30th August 2006, 10:48 AM

gdtbiker

30th August 2006, 11:12 AM

Wait a minute aren't they monotheists? How on earth does someone become a god in a monotheistic religion?
That's what I originally thought too. At the time, I was so flabbergasted that I didn't pursue that specifically. But, ... One god to rule them all? ;)

ImaginalDisc

30th August 2006, 11:21 AM

I really wonder how they would react when someone leaps to their feet excitedly and says "By all means! Come in, come in! Can I get you anything to drink? Make yourself at home!" while rushing around, beside myself, grinning from ear to ear and rubbing my hands together.

I do that. The last time JW's came over, I invited them in, and gave them piles of litterature (printouts from PositiveAtheism.com) then I proceeded to explain to them why their religion is a sham. I had them at my place for four hours. Their buddies came looking for them and soon I had four JW's at my place, trying to defend their nonsense beliefs.

I was thrilled. The more time they wasted with me, the less time they had to inflict their disease on everyone else.

FramerDave

30th August 2006, 11:35 AM

Only experience I have had was with the LDS. Two of them showed up at my door one evening, both clean-cut about 18-19 as mentioned by others. Their opening line was "Have you ever seen missionaries like us?" I'm not sure what they were getting at but my response was "No, you're much cuter than most of them." I then invited them in for a rigorous bout of 3-way man-on-man-on man sex.

They politely declined and never darkened my door again. Shame, because I'm pretty sure one of them would have gone for it if his buddy hadn't been there. Guess that's why they're always in pairs.

RenaissanceBiker

30th August 2006, 11:39 AM

P.S.: The "president' also told me that they believe that we all can become gods, and as if that wasn't enough, he said he believes that humans were seeded here on Earth by people from another planet! :wide-eyed

The "humans can become gods" thing is a Mormon belief. The "seeding by aliens" is a scientology belief. I'm not surprised. Religions have been borrowing successful concepts from each other for years. It is an "Origin of the Cults" type of religious evolution.

kittykatkarma

30th August 2006, 11:50 AM

How to send the J.W. door knockers packing, you ask?

My father had a big loveable black labrador. She was the most loveable dog I think I had ever encountered. She greeted visitors with a happy bark and a whole body wag... unless they were J.W. door knockers. The only time I ever heard her growl with fur standing on end, was when they got out of their car and tried to approach the front walk. She would not let them pass.

Get a dog! Dogs can smell the nonsense a mile away!

footnote:
I seem to be an ex-J.W. magnet. Best friend is an ex-J.W., and very close friend of many years is also and ex-J.W.. Younger gal at work, who I would certainly call friend and who gravitates toward me, just happens to be J.W., I wonder how long before she is an ex-J.w.?

bruto

30th August 2006, 12:14 PM

JW's don't believe in Hell, that's not something they would say.I don't doubt I misremember the details of what he said. He was weeping and ranting. The content was secondary.

elaine

30th August 2006, 12:17 PM

footnote:
I seem to be an ex-J.W. magnet. Best friend is an ex-J.W., and very close friend of many years is also and ex-J.W.. Younger gal at work, who I would certainly call friend and who gravitates toward me, just happens to be J.W., I wonder how long before she is an ex-J.w.?

Funny, I don't remember being told kittykatkarma was the anti-christ.

kittykatkarma

30th August 2006, 12:21 PM

Funny, I don't remember being told kittykatkarma was the anti-christ.:eek:
I'm not, I'm not...

elaine

30th August 2006, 12:22 PM

:eek:
I'm not, I'm not...

methinks she doth protest to much

Actually, I think they teach there are many anti-christs.

kittykatkarma

30th August 2006, 12:26 PM

methinks she doth protest to much
Actually, I think they teach there are many anti-christs.

Many is what they teach / brain wash. Both converted friends are very intelligent and saw the error of the teachings early on. What's sad is because of their separation from the kingdom hall, they are also separated from their families who remain on the inside.

elaine

30th August 2006, 12:32 PM

Many is what they teach / brain wash. Both converted friends are very intelligent and saw the error of the teachings early on. What's sad is because of their separation from the kingdom hall, they are also separated from their families who remain on the inside.

My Mom hasn't spoken to me in years. I'm actually ok with it. Because JW's is her life, there isn't much to talk about aside from the weather. She's nuts.

It's just so sad to me that people will give up their control to someone else. I guess it's easier than taking responsibility for your own life.

Freethinker

31st August 2006, 02:24 PM

A topic appropriate joke:

One day, a woman's doorbell rang. The weather was very bad. The woman opened the door, and there stood a young girl, a Jehovah's Witness, soaking wet. The woman felt sorry for her, so she asked the young woman into the house for a cup of coffee and to dry off. The woman wanted to make conversation as the two drank their hot chocolate, so she asked the Jehovah's Witness, "So, what's the message you're passing along?'" The girl stuttered and said, "I'm not sure. I never got this far."

grayman

31st August 2006, 03:39 PM

A topic appropriate joke:

Another one:

JW: "Would you be interested in becoming a Jehovah Witness?"

Me: "No, because I didn't see the accident".

adler

19th December 2006, 12:33 PM

icantlogoff

19th December 2006, 01:22 PM

I was a dubber for thirty five years, One thing people do not understand about them is that if you argue with them they will keep coming back. There are only two ways to keep them away and this will only work for six months at a time. If you live in a hot spot for dubb activity when they visit you can request to go on the "Do not call list" This will put your home on the do not call list for the territory you are in for six months, then they will call at the end of that time to see if you still live at that address or if you changed your mind about a study. The other thing is you can learn about some of the big problems with the teachings and invite them in and hammer them with questions, this involves getting studied up on their belief that the temple of Jerusalem was destroyed by king nebaknezzer the second in 607 bce when all other secular facts show it was destroyed in 586 or 587 bce, they use this date of 607 to count forward to arrive at 1914, a date set by C.T. Russell for the end of the world. Unless you were a dubber you probably do not want to bore yourself with this method. Just tell them to put you on the do not call list and **** off.

I'll second that, the do not call list is the best way to keep them from calling, I was a JW up until i was 30. And 'Adler' is right arguing with them will not stop them coming back.
Just as a point, until I left them i didn't realise that 607BCE date was wrong. I confronted this recently with one, their response... Well we believe biblical dates over any historical claims!
So i guess they just take historical evidence when its suits them!

I did have a good session with 2 recently on evolution, which they used the adaptation of the Paley watchmaker argument but used a house in the desert instead. After putting my reasoning across, i have seen them again that was nearly 4 months ago.

adler

20th December 2006, 04:07 AM

I was one till the watchtower of 95 when they changed the meaning of "Generation" I had been waiting for years to see what they would do as so many were dieing of the generation of 1914.
I have had the argument of "we believe bible chronology more than secular chronology" argument also, this is very easy to debunk, You see they arrive at the date of 607 by counting back from the date 537 70 years, you know the 70 years of servitude under Babylon control. So once you bring this to their attention, just tell them that they are using the date 537 which was arrived at by secular science using the same lines of dating as was used to come to the date for the destruction of the temple of 586-87, This effectively destroys their false argument, and by a domino effect shows that in 1914 then was not the date that "Christ did not come on that date, and he did not put the band of "bible students in charge of gods earthly organization" But never have any hope this will change their thinking, When you are determined to drink the kool-aid, There aint much you can do to stop people.

Juustin

2nd February 2007, 10:05 AM

I realize this is an old thread, but I was going through older posts and thought I'd add my perspective on this one.

When I was 16 I started dating the girl who is now my wife. Her parents/family were all JW's, and for the first couple years we had to keep it a secret from her family (except her cousin, who was a JW but open minded and welcoming).

Eventually her parents found out. Her mother secretly met me behind her father's back, since he basically told his daughter she wasn't allowed to date me. After long enough, I met him as well.

My wife was never baptised, but she had grown up in it, and like most witnesses, was never allowed to associate with people from outside the religion. She was basically a "witness by default", because she was sheltered from anyone who had a different opinion. She had a hard time NOT beliving it because it's all she ever knew; and because her whole family/circle of friends were involved in it, and none would be allowed to associate with her if she denounced it.

I never forced any beliefs on her, and for a few years she remained in a sort of middle ground where she wasn't sure if she still believed it or not (though I'm pretty proud to say she didn't just say "Since my husband doesn't believe it, I guess I don't either). Without my "preaching" about it, she seemed to be swayed simply by spending enough time with someone who had a different perspective than what she was used to. They are also taught (to a certain extent anyway) that anyone who was "worldly" (their term for a non-JW) will probably fit a certain stereotype (the ones who slam doors in their faces). I think when you treat them like intelligent human beings who happen to believe differently than you, they respond fairly well. It may not exactly convert them away from it, but it doesn't reinforce the stereotypes they're taught to expect from Atheists/Agnostics, and that in itself will give them a healthier, more realistic view of the outside world. In my wife's case, seeing objectively what other religions thought (and noticing they all had the same "We're the only religion that's right" stance while completely contradicting each other) was enough to make her think she hadn't questioned it enough as a kid.

Now, 10 years after we first met, I get along very well with her entire family. Some are more accepting than others (the toughest being in her extended family), but in general we all get along. We have a sort of unspoken agreement that none of us will try to convert the others, and we just don't talk about it. My contractor and mechanic are both friends of my in-laws, both witnesses, and both have commented to my in-laws how friendly and easy to get along with they find me to be. In a small way, at least I feel like it's made some difference in their perception of non-Christians.

When you talk about trying to "scare them away", keep some things in mind. A lot of them aren't bad people, just simply people who were raised to think a certain way, by someone who had been raised to think the same way, etc. Many of the younger ones are at your doorstep because their parents expect them to be, and they'd potentially be in a very difficult situation if they refused. Every time they tell an elder they had a door slammed in their face, it's more fuel for the people who want them to view the world as black and white/good vs. evil. Pretending you're in the middle of a sacrifice at best makes them think you're completely immature, and at worst it will put more fear of the outside world in them, and push them even deeper into the arms of doing whatever their told. I doubt that's what any of us want to accomplish.

adler

2nd February 2007, 11:40 AM

I respect your view, but you have not got the whole picture. as an unbaptized witness, your wife is an associate, and as such her family had the option to associate with her as long as there is no opposition to the society [jw movement].
If she were baptized [which they push to do at a young age appx 13 yo] then she left the org. she would be visited by elders who ask for her to go back to the 5 meetings a week or write a letter of disassociation, which would make her in a disfellowshiped state and as such she would not be allowed to talk to or visit with any "JW" in good standing.
If she was baptized she would be disfellowshiped by default if she was caught celebrating her or any ones birthday,Christmas or any other holiday. displaying a us flag, or voting, or any number of other things deemed to be "of the world"
The chain they keep you on is very short.
The Jw's are so controlled that it is very difficult to talk any logic to them, they are from the believe what the society [12 old farts from Brooklyn ny] before you believe your eyes.
The JWs try to put forth that they are a bunch of harmless good people, nothing if farther from the truth, they break up families, destroy relationships, and make their own people feel inadequate about themselves. not to mention they teach the biggest bunch of crap about the end of the world that is supposed to be here soon, and has been for 135 years., They thought that the end of the world was coming in 1874,1914,1916,1918,1924,1945,1951,1975, and the latest date was before 2000. now they just say soon.
They are a cult and nothing more than this. and it is dangerous to let any one you care about associate with them, in the end you are taking a chance of loosing a loved one.

Juustin

2nd February 2007, 12:03 PM

My point with my backstory was just to show where my viewpoint was. I'm not saying I agree with what they do, and you're 100% correct in all the things you listed. I'm not suggesting the organization itself is a harmless entity.

What I'm saying is, a huge percentage of the people who are part of it were born into it, and have not had any opportunity to think otherwise. I'm suggesting that the most impact you can have on the young ones who come to your door, is to treat them with respect, engage them in conversation, etc. If you slam the door in their face, no one learns anything. If you yell at them, you reinforce what they've been told about non-witnesses, which is a tool their organization uses to scare them into not leaving. In their average day, they don't encounter anyone with a different viewpoint; you're given the opportunity to show them at everyone who isn't a witness isn't "evil", and the biggest thing you can do against the entire organization is to treat the follower like a person and hope you leave some impact on them, so the next time their elder stereotypes everyone in the outside world, they may (although they probably will not) think to themselves "but Mr. Smith didn't act like that..."

Patsy

2nd February 2007, 12:44 PM

I guess I must be on their "do not call" list. I proposed a deal to the first ones that showed up after I moved into my current home. They could stand in my back yard and pray while I let my dogs loose. If their prayer and their god protected them from my dogs, I'd hear them out. They declined my offer, and I haven't seen any more in over two years.

The thing is, if they had actually had confidence in what they were peddling, and taken me up on the offer, they would have been able to speak with me. While my dogs make enough racket that you would think there was a pack of slavering wolves behind my door, the only way you'd be in any real danger from them is if you are allergic to doggie slobbers :dogt: .

The Darkest One

2nd February 2007, 03:04 PM

They are a cult and nothing more than this. and it is dangerous to let any one you care about associate with them, in the end you are taking a chance of loosing a loved one.

It is a fine line one has to walk when married to a JW. Too much opposition pushes him/her further into the cult, not enough opposition gives the impression that everything is fine. I have been living this nightmare for 20 years since the woman I love was indoctrinated after a fatefull knock on the door. Her eyes no longer sparkle and we haven't had a meaningfull conversation in years, but I refuse to give up on her!

Make no mistake, this is a dangerous and very nasty little cult. Their lack of media attention is all that saves them from public scrutiny ala Scientology.

Cactus Wren

4th February 2007, 02:01 PM

Around here, someone got very creative and printed a sign with a Virgen María (the mexican, of course) that reads (more or less):

This home is Christian and we do not accept propaganda from sects.

This guy must have sold millions...

I wanted to try one of the first posts, going out nude, but my wife worried that they might try to actually get in... :)

I know that those have been around for at least thirty years: "Welcome to this house where Our Lady of Guadalupe is Queen. This is a Catholic house. Propaganda of other religions will not be admitted", is how I remember it.

I had the chance to deal with a JW on another forum. I asked him how he'd react if he came to my door and I offered him the "I'll read your material, if you'll read mine" deal. He said flatly that he would refuse to read anything I offered him, because my offer would be rude and confrontational. Okaaay, I said, let's see if I've got this straight: You are coming to my door, interrupting what I'm doing, taking up my time, but by offering you something to read I'm being "confrontational"?

Yes, he said, because his material is right and mine is wrong.

As to ways of getting rid of religion salespeople: Someone on alt.atheism suggested bringing out a plate of sandwiches, not mentioning that they're made of canned catfood.

One user said that he got a phone call from a neighbor, warning him: The JWs are on their way, they should reach your house soon. Be ready. He was: he arranged to meet them at the door dressed in nothing but salad oil and live snakes.

There's always the sign: I can't link to it yet, but go to www . northernsun . com and type "No Preaching" in the search box.

Cactus Wren

4th February 2007, 02:43 PM

It is a fine line one has to walk when married to a JW. Too much opposition pushes him/her further into the cult, not enough opposition gives the impression that everything is fine. I have been living this nightmare for 20 years since the woman I love was indoctrinated after a fatefull knock on the door. Her eyes no longer sparkle and we haven't had a meaningfull conversation in years, but I refuse to give up on her!

Make no mistake, this is a dangerous and very nasty little cult. Their lack of media attention is all that saves them from public scrutiny ala Scientology.

Sorry for the double post, but your posting reminded me intensely of a column from Judith Hayes's sadly defunct "Happy Heretic" series. She mentions an acquaintance of hers, who converted to the WTBTS and took her small children with her: there was a painful description of a six-year-old child, just out of school for the day, and eager to tell her mother how the other children had been making holiday decorations. "But not me, Mommy!" she said in innocent pride at having avoided the Satan-inspired lure of white felt snowmen with glue and glitter. "Everybody else, but not me -- I was strong for Jehovah!"

adler

4th February 2007, 02:55 PM

I have a neice that got up in front of her 3rd grade class and said you are all going to die at armagedon because you do not do as jehovah wants. Her mother got red and said I dont know where she got it from, *****, you teach it to her 5 meetings a week and 2 home bible studies a week. garbage in garbage out.

Darth Rotor

16th February 2010, 12:34 PM

The Jehovah's Witnesses who live next door surely didn't set me up.

A week ago Saturday, as I was digging through tax files in my annual fun time, the doorbell rang.

I expected nobody. I went to the door. Two well dressed ladies, I guess mid 40's, stood there expectantly.

"Good morning ladies," says I as I stepped out of the house and closed the door (I often do this, as my taking a step outside changes the dynamic between the two parties) "what may I do for you today?"

In a nutshell, they wanted to pass on some JW literature to me.

"No thanks," I said, "I'm already baptized, and don't feel a need to change my habits."

"May I quote you some scripture?" says the older one, and I see the eagerness in here eyes.

"No, thank you, I am working on rendering unto Caesar (witty me!**) with my taxes, and will not be spending further time with you this morning."

I turned toward the door, presenting my back, then turned back to them. (Another reason I do that "step outside thing" sometimes. It allows me to engage in that standard Hollywood gimmick: make like leaving, then make a closing "out the door" remark over the shoulder).

"But I wish you well this morning, and hope that God will bless you today."

I smiled. I hope it did not come across as a grimace. They smiled back, so I went back into the house.

Worked well enough. I was aching to tell them what I had told a couple of JW's a few years ago: my next door neighbor is a JW. If I have any questions, I will ask him. (I have done just that, asked my neighbor, on numerous occasions).

Something made me not do that. I got the idea, not sure why, that maybe he'd get zinged at their next meeting for not recruiting me, so I didn't play that card.

I'll keep that line for next time.

This transaction doesn't have to be a confrontation. Sometimes, kill 'em with kindness works.

** I freely admit that I was overly pleased with that ad lib at the time. I walked about the house patting myself on the back for my wit.

I am still grinning about it, over a week later. Laughter, the best medicine for things like pain, and taxes.

DR

Hokulele

16th February 2010, 12:41 PM

Heh. I recently had a pair of young women (early 20's, tops) offer me a copy of Watchtower. The cover article? "What God has to say about alcohol". I am still annoyed with my husband for throwing it away on me.

Staropeace

16th February 2010, 12:47 PM

I use to date a cop who would answer the door in his boxers with a beer in his hand...if he saw them working their way to his door.

Aepervius

16th February 2010, 02:27 PM

Thread necromanty :P. I love it.

I used to argue for fun with Jeovah witness. Well with ONE of them. There was this hottie with large breasts, and a good decoltee. She lived not far away distributing stuff and going from home to home. I loved to argue with her for hours onto god's existence. I was a minor (15-16) at the time so I did not even bother trying "a move" on her, but you can bet that as filled with hormones as I was I wasn't exactly looking her into hhhhmmm, the eyes.

I had a collection of free book (pamphlet and hard cover in french) given by various witness at home. A pity when I went out on my own home from the family nest at 18, I left them. My mother threw "that trash" away when they moved later.

stup_id

16th February 2010, 03:24 PM

I had two of that "Kingdon Hall" witnessing crowd show up uninvited at my front door again Saturday. I pretended to have been rousted from a deep sleep and opened my door nude while rubbing my eyes and yawning. That seemed to work. Does anyone have any more creative ideas if another pair returns?

Does anyone have a clever method of tossing a stick into the bicycle spokes of the pedaling profits out of Utah when they come by? I am tired of being evangelized at my front door.

Well, well, well, I was certainly hoping a thread like this would open... haha since I've got a great anecdote to tell :P

Dealing with Jehova Witnesses, at the beggining when I was starting in scepticism, I tried to disprove every claim they made (also as I took some classes on teology and catholicism, I was certainly well prepared to deal with their rushed conclusions about the Bible). This was effective, and they got tired after only 2 discussions, for like a couple of years, they just skipped my place :D.

But then , they must have changed administration or something, and they begun to appear every other saturday, now I hadn't the required patience to deal with them so I regularly dismissed them by frankly admiting I'm an atheist (and I guess also a very well painted expression of hang-over I usually had when they knocked at the door)

Until one day, two girls appeared knocking on the door, there was one young, and sort of pretty (of course she was dressed in the least favorable way possible with those awful skirts and blouses they feel are "safe" to wear). Anyway, I just smiled at them when they asked me about if I pray to god and that.. and this is how it went:

-I don't pray to God, because I don't believe there is a God, I'm in Atheist in fact
( you should know that in Mexico this is more or less the equivalent to "I'm a disciple of Satan and I'm eating raped babies in my basement")

stunningly to me the young girl replied:

- Well, we are sorry to bother you, but you should know that God exists, otherwise He wouldn't have made you so handsome...

Now, that's a good answer!!! :P hahaha, she left me speechless, and they went to the next house very fast

Well, well, I thought I might have had a chance with her.. but then I remembered she's a Jehova Witness...

Pinkymcfatfat

16th February 2010, 10:45 PM

I've had a few thought on this....mind you, my thoughts are generally warped.

I live in a classy Victorian house on a nice street...one of those places that any 'door to door' types would feel comfy knocking on the door of.

I'd like to have two very large posters made and have them mounted in frames. The first poster would we a full-color print of Rene Magritte's "Young Girl Eating A Bird", google it if you have never seen the painting. The other would be a blow up of the official portrait of a distant relative of my husbands who was a very high ranking officer in the Luftwaffe (his family is NOT proud of this) during WWII.

I would then put two nails on the wall facing my sofa, above my Queen Ann chair.

When the knock I had been waiting for finally arrived, I would tell the JW's (or Mormons) that I would LOVE to speak with them...but could they please wait a moment. I would then pull the two framed posters out of my hall closet and quickly hang them above my chair.

I would invite them in and have them sit on the sofa. I would be in the Queen Ann chair, under the posters. They would be forced to stare at these the entire time against their will.

If asked any questions, I would explain that the gentleman in the Nazi uniform was my very much loved Grandpa (I'd be snickering inside because 'Pappy' would be rolling in his grave, considering I'm a quarter Jewish). And that the other artwork was a watercolor done by my mother (something tells me they wouldn't be well versed in Surrealist painting).

The idea just has so much appeal.

Springfork

17th February 2010, 05:05 AM

Ask them if they celebrate Halloween. When they say "no", you say "Oh, you must not like strangers knocking on your door without being invited. "

dafydd

17th February 2010, 12:02 PM

I could tell you a story about my Mum and Jehova's Witnesses but you would think that I made it up.

Safe-Keeper

17th February 2010, 12:32 PM

I wonder if anyone ever actually has opened the door naked to Jehova's Witnesses, not to mention what they told the judge in the ensuing Indecent Exposure trial.

Mark6

17th February 2010, 12:50 PM

Actual line a friend of mine used in college (she lived off-campus):

"We have a jew, a pagan, and a Chinese communist. WHICH ONE DO YOU WANT?"

They fled.

Mark6

17th February 2010, 12:55 PM

As to ways of getting rid of religion salespeople: Someone on alt.atheism suggested bringing out a plate of sandwiches, not mentioning that they're made of canned catfood.

Not a very smart idea. It could give you something to laugh about, but would hardly get rid of them. Now, if you TELL them these are catfood sandwiches...

One user said that he got a phone call from a neighbor, warning him: The JWs are on their way, they should reach your house soon. Be ready. He was: he arranged to meet them at the door dressed in nothing but salad oil and live snakes.

How many snakes did he own?

Mashuna

17th February 2010, 01:02 PM

It's a bit of a radical method this, but I told them that I wasn't interested, they left and haven't come back.

jiggeryqua

17th February 2010, 01:29 PM

I try not to send them packing. I have enough familiarity with the bible to keep them confused and floundering for a while, which both amuses me and, more importantly, keeps them from knocking on the door of someone vulnerable, at least for a while.

Other options include a polite smile and something along the lines of 'Thank you for your concern, but please don't call again' as you shut the door. I use something similar with door-to-door salespeople, though I see that they are at least offering real dishcloths. If they were peddling imaginary dishcloths that they claimed had miraculous powers, I hope I'd still be polite but firm.

Cainkane1

23rd August 2010, 10:05 AM

One of the most interesting chats I've ever had in chat involved Jehovah Witnesses arguing with a Jewish Rabbi who was a retired physician. He was arguing against the JW's ban on blood transfusions.

I had gone in there myself out of curioustiy and I was going to discuss the same thing but this Articulate, educated physician was doing a better job than I could ever do. He really got on them becuase he had had JW kids die because their parents refused to allow a transfusion.

Some years ago I used to have a JW pamphlet showing a girl and two boys. Both were pre teen kids. The pamphlet read "They chose God". In other words all three children had chosen death rather than have a transfusion. Here in georgia and in many other places a JW is forced to have a transfusion if their lives depend on it.

bokonon

23rd August 2010, 10:14 AM

Wow, this zombie has LEGS.

I either don't answer the door, or take their literature, thank them, and close the door.

When I was younger, and living in the Bible Belt, it was fun to engage the shopping mall evangelists and keep them from harassing those who might be more impressionable. Now, I don't really have time for such sport, outside of the internet.

Skwinty

23rd August 2010, 10:29 AM

What do you get when you cross a JW with a Hells Angel?

Someone who knocks on your door and tells you to eff off...:D

Vortigern99

23rd August 2010, 10:48 AM

I enjoy talking to Witnesses because they tend to be incredibly nice. Of the two pairs that have come to my door at this address, with the first I had a conversation about gardening, and the second about pregnancy and childbirth!

We barely even touched on religious beliefs, but when we did I mentioned I had once studied at a Kingdom Hall with friends who were Witnesses, but that I objected to the ban on blood transfusion and so could not be a Witness. I didn't even say that I was an agnostic, or atheist; all the Witnesses needed to know was that I could not follow their tenets since I objected to them on moral grounds.

The Witnesses left feeling like they had done their duty -- they had talked to me about being a Witness -- and I got fun, easy conversations about gardening and pregnancy.

They're really regular people who have some corny beliefs about magical sky-daddies because it comforts them and gives them peace. I treat them with respect and friendliness, and they do the same for me.

Freethinker

23rd August 2010, 10:50 AM

Screaming at them after they awakened me at 10am after I was up working until 8:30am and telling them that I was trying to sleep and wasn't interested in their BS didn't work.

Asking them to please stop coming to my house didn't work.

Telling them I was a Satanist didn't work.

Last time I asked them "Are you saying I look stupid?" When they said no, I said "Well you must think I'm stupid, because you'd have to be an idiot to buy into your load of BS, now get out of here and stay the hell away!". They haven't been back since last fall. Almost a year.

Tanstaafl

23rd August 2010, 10:54 AM

I just tell them I'm not interested. They usually hand out their literature anyway, which I gladly take, as it's fun to laugh at it later.

But around here, JWs are rather rare. Usually we get Mormon mind vultures.

Marduk

23rd August 2010, 11:32 AM

They don't call on me anymore,
I found out the local temple has me listed as a Babylonian pantheist and have instructed their members not to risk it,
This started because a neighbour who is a JW gave me a book of theirs and I sent it back with corrections in red marker
Since that happened they have never come back, they still do the neighbours but they walk quickly past my door whispering Isaiah 41:10 under their breaths
:D

We don't have any mormons round here, I wish we did, I would love to discuss whats wrong about their history with them

I think the problem with their tactics is that they used to come round with a view to recruiting me and I have the same approach,
:degrin:

TragicMonkey

23rd August 2010, 12:05 PM

JW get annoyed if you persistently mistake them for Girl Scouts and attempt to purchase Thin Mints and Samoas from them, and chide them for being out of uniform. Very few JW seem to carry Girl Scout cookies on them, which is a pity because I'm much more likely to convert for cookies.

Drewbot

24th August 2010, 07:15 AM

I simply look at my watch, and say "you've got 2 minutes to convince me, GO!", then I shake my head throughout their speil, with a John Cleese 'Thank you!' at the end of two minutes.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQFKtI6gn9Y
2:33 for the John Cleese 'thank you'

Craig4

28th August 2010, 08:53 AM

I tell them I have jello in the oven and I have to get to it.

bokonon

28th August 2010, 10:01 AM

I was thrilled. The more time they wasted with me, the less time they had to inflict their disease on everyone else.
This assumes that "everyone else" is not simply politely excusing themselves.

catsmate1

28th August 2010, 05:15 PM

Very few JW seem to carry Girl Scout cookies on them, which is a pity because I'm much more likely to convert for cookies.
What about bacon? Or chocolate coated bacon?

The Man

28th August 2010, 05:31 PM

Had couple stop by last week, saying they were having a seminar in the area soon, with the topic being the question “How does one get closer to god?”. “Not a question I’m interested in…” was my reply and I bid them “good day”.

leon_heller

28th August 2010, 06:16 PM

A cousin of mine once mentioned that they didn't like uniformed organizations, and they would leave if they saw something like an army hat on the hallstand. I say I'm an atheist and shut the door.

fuelair

28th August 2010, 07:21 PM

Barsdamian

28th August 2010, 09:27 PM

I grew up as a JW and let me tell you...going door to door was the worst! I loathed it and had several tricks up my sleeve to avoid it. I left about twelve years ago but I don't think much has changed.

The best way to get rid of them is to simply and clearly declare that you and your family have made your decision do not want them to call anymore. They have a system that tracks these 'do not call' (DNC) homes and in theory they are not supposed to be bothered. Of course the system isn't perfect and I have seen more fervent individuals ignore the DNC list and knock anyway, but its more likely your wishes will be respected.

Things I wouldn't recommend...

-Not answering the door. When a witness has an assigned territory they will work it until they have hit every door answered or as close as they can get. Not answering will make it very likely that you get a few more knocks in the coming weeks. How many depends on how obsessive the individual is about completing their territory. A chronic 'Not Home' can get called on a few times a week in some instances. More enterprising witnesses take these as a challenge and start knocking at all different times like the supper hour or even earlier than usual on a Saturday. You may not run into anyone this dogged, but why risk it?

-Opening the door nude. Doing this will almost certainly get you reported to the police. Witnesses often travel in pairs so its both of their words against yours and they can say anything they want. Maybe you were just nude...maybe the police hear you were aroused and fondling yourself. It likely wouldn't result in anything serious but why put yourself in that position?

-Taking literature or engaging them. Some witnesses are very nice and you can engage them politely without any harm. But there are others, the more righteous, who take any sign of friendliness as a reason to return. I worked with a few brothers who would call back on anyone who didn't yell or slam the door in our faces. And they would call back...and call back...and call back until the door was slammed in their face.

I hate thinking about those days.

Longfellow

28th August 2010, 09:50 PM

We get Jehovah Witnesses through here several times a year. I treat them the same way I treat all the other religious types that knock on my door. I open the door enough to look them in the eye and say in a firm voice: "I'm an atheist. I'm not interested in what you have to say. Please get off my property. Have a nice day and be careful out there. Stay warm/cool" and then I shut the door.

Most of the time they continue on down the block without a backwards glance. I don't think there's any reason to be rude in order to send them packing no matter what they may have interrupted but perhaps that's just me.

kedo1981

31st August 2010, 09:58 AM

Here is something may have been brought up already, but it’s the JW belief that is if they lead you to be saved, you’ll be their servant in heaven.

John Jones

31st August 2010, 10:11 AM

I've heard that impaling one or two of them on your front lawn is an effective deterrant, but it sounds like an old wives' tale to me.

Skeptical Greg

31st August 2010, 03:38 PM

Here is something may have been brought up already, but it’s the JW belief that is if they lead you to be saved, you’ll be their servant in heaven.Source ?

JW's do not believe that most of them are going to heaven ..

Except for the chosen 144,000 they will all live here, on a new earth, that has sort of been remodeled...

bruto

31st August 2010, 03:52 PM

Source ?

JW's do not believe that most of them are going to heaven ..

Except for the chosen 144,000 they will all live here, on a new earth, that has sort of been remodeled...How many of the ones you meet actually believe that they won't be among the 144 thousand, though?

RobRoy

31st August 2010, 03:59 PM

I usually just nod and smile, take their literature, but refuse any other offers. If the kids are sleeping I don't answer the door.

I once accidentally dated a JW. Didn't know she was at the time as she didn't self-identify, and I didn't ever think to ask. Later, I put all the pieces together when I became more familiar with their beliefs and found my ignorance rather amusing.

Skeptical Greg

31st August 2010, 04:03 PM

How many of the ones you meet actually believe that they won't be among the 144 thousand, though?
Most ...

My understanding is that the 144,00, is mostly people who have already died.

I could be wrong..

Barsdamian

31st August 2010, 04:11 PM

Most ...

My understanding is that the 144,00, is mostly people who have already died.

I could be wrong..

This is correct. The 144k had to be alive in 1914 and the vast majority of witnesses today are not of that class and they know it.

Interestingly, when I was young (early eighties) I remember that the remaining number of the 144,000 was generally known and may have even been announced from time to time. It was believed that once they were gone, the end was right around the corner. As the years wore on, they grew fewer and fewer and the world didn't end so the WTBTS stopped talking about the number.

I was just talking to my JW mom this morning and she is still convinced that the end is coming within a few years. The sad part is I can remember my father discussing this with other witnesses and agreeing that there couldn't be more than 5 years left. That was some 25 years ago.

The Man

31st August 2010, 08:39 PM

Oh, how time flies when you’re having fun.

bruto

31st August 2010, 09:30 PM

StrangeLoop

31st August 2010, 11:30 PM

That point was expanded to engulf any contemporaries of the 144,000 in a Watchtower early in the year and announced pointedly at the district convention. One would be hard-pressed to find a parallel of their credulity; it was like no one noticed.

Vortigern99

1st September 2010, 12:02 AM

Well, I guess I was quite wrong about that, not surprisingly since I have not paid much attention to the finer points of JW drivel or their ongoing redaction of unfulfilled prophecy.

I remember a friend who once said that JW was the religion for depressives, and somehow this notion of a second-tier salvation seems fitting. A pseudo-heaven where the faithful will, no doubt, still have to wear a necktie.

Not according to the illustrations in their literature! The paradise-on-earth afterlife the Witnesses have embraced looks for all the world like just the sort of place I wouldn't mind spending eternity. An abundance of natural beauty, friendship with animals (lions and lambs!), plenty to eat and drink, the company of smiling friends of all ethnicities (mainly wearing summer casual wear, like you might wear to an American cook-out/barbecue), everyone working together in peace and harmony... it all looks too good to be true!

Oh, wait.... :eek:

:D

The Man

1st September 2010, 02:29 AM

From a long time ago.

I was once handed one of those ‘purty’ pictured literatures by some JW’s coming to my door some decades ago. I remarked (something like) “You got a Panda and deer together?” “The Panda, living in tropical and subtropical regions, while the deer populate more temperate zones?” The response I got was along the line of “Well, it’s just an idealized image”. My reply was, basically, “Exactly”. They walked away. Though my climatic conditional claims were not precise (though I didn’t know it at the time) the response I got (and the subsequent departure) was exactly what I had intended.

welshdean

1st September 2010, 06:44 AM

Interestingly, when I was young (early eighties)...

bloody hell! Do you really call being in your early eighties young? How long ago was this and how old are you now?
Kudos to you for embracing technology at your age.
I said kudos to you for embracing technology at your age.
I said kudos to you for embracing technology at your age.
Oh never mind!

Cainkane1

1st September 2010, 06:52 AM

jehovah Witnesses have no business comming to a persons house. My aged mother hides in the house until they leave which makes me mad because I feel like shes a prisoner in her own house when this happens. If you want to be polite to them and you answer the door and you tell them you aren't interested they try to argue with you. They don't like rejection. As bad as all religion is their brand of Christianity is nonsense in the midst of nonsence.

Skeptical Greg

1st September 2010, 09:24 AM

bruto

1st September 2010, 10:01 AM

I was under the impression that JW policies had changed some time ago, and they're less aggressive than they used to be. But they're still intrusive.

Perhaps my perspective is a bit skewed, because I have some acquaintances and relatives who are JW. I know a number of people of many religions, including devout biblical Baptists, never-miss-a-mass Catholics, etc., and they're all good people whose company a person can enjoy. But the JW religion seems to turn all its adherents into (sorry, can't say the word here, but it's an orifice not the mouth).

Dr. Keith

1st September 2010, 10:19 AM

You must have a different flavor of JW's where you live. I have always found them to be the most polite, well-mannered people I have ever met.
They never argue when you tell them you are not interested.

Yeah, we don't get them at all in our neighborhood. Not once in 8 years.

In my old neighborhood we used to get JW and LDS and even a few other roaming evangelicals and sales people on a regular basis. It was a more comfortable neighborhood to walk in and we had 1920's bungalows with inviting front porches. It was a door-to-door paradise of shaded sidewalks and neighbors that all knew each other and were comfortable talking over the front fence all the time. I know, I used to sell door-to-door and I would have love to have had this in my territory.

In that house I would spend a lot of time in the front yard, driveway, and on the porch, so I often was approached by these folks. I usually enjoyed the break from whatever I was doing and would talk to whoever wanted to talk to me as long as they were polite. I never bought anything from a door-to-door and most of the religious peddlers left soon after finding out that we went to the Catholic church.

But, I remembered that a friendly person chatting on the front porch was often the brightest part of my day when I was selling, so I tried to provide a bit of respite when I could.

Tanstaafl

1st September 2010, 10:27 AM

I've heard that impaling one or two of them on your front lawn is an effective deterrant, but it sounds like an old wives' tale to me.

You know, I think this would actually work.

Seriously, you probably won't be much bothered by JWs in prison. Though there might be one or two other characters you'll have to look out for...

Barsdamian

6th September 2010, 10:44 PM

I remember a friend who once said that JW was the religion for depressives, and somehow this notion of a second-tier salvation seems fitting. A pseudo-heaven where the faithful will, no doubt, still have to wear a necktie.

I'd have to agree. Its surprising how much mental illness is hidden behind the veil of piety. I think many strict religions tend to attract people that have some pretty serious problems. The rather dark JW message that the world is about to end save for a small group of enlightened individuals must appeal to anyone who feels wronged by the world.

Its sad to think that if these people ranted about anything else, they might be encouraged to get help, but rant and rave about Jesus and Satan and they are just 'really faithful'.

CriticalSock

7th September 2010, 05:02 AM

I'd feel pretty upset if I was walking down the road and saw my sister and my mother impaled on someone's front lawn.

On the other hand I'm sure there are some JW's out there who deserve a good dose of impaling.

I think maybe you should treat them on a case by case basis and not automatically reach for the hammer and nails?

RobRoy

7th September 2010, 11:19 AM

Aoidoi

7th September 2010, 12:05 PM

I'd feel pretty upset if I was walking down the road and saw my sister and my mother impaled on someone's front lawn.

On the other hand I'm sure there are some JW's out there who deserve a good dose of impaling.I'm really having trouble not reading "impaling" as something else here and laughing. ;)

Vortigern99

7th September 2010, 01:23 PM

You must have a different flavor of JW's where you live. I have always found them to be the most polite, well-mannered people I have ever met.
They never argue when you tell them you are not interested.

This. Anyone encountering petulant, aggressive Witnesses may wish to examine their own demeanor first and foremost. Having myself knocked on doors professionally for several years, I can aver that rude or disparaging language from an angry resident is likely to inspire a rude or disparaging response. It may not be right, but it's a normal human reaction to meet unkindness with unkindness.

I seriously doubt that any Witness would come to a person's door already surly and contentious.

RobRoy

7th September 2010, 02:28 PM

I seriously doubt that any Witness would come to a person's door already surly and contentious.

Seriously? You mean JWs never have a bad day, or a bad experience with the neighbor whose dinner they just interrupted, or are upset with the dog that just chased them off the lawn, or walked three miles in the snow, uphill to get to your door, then slipped on the steps because you didn’t salt like you were supposed to, and now they want to sue you, but instead they’re going to bring the goddam word of Jesus Christ to your sorry ass even though they know you’re more likely to slam the door in their face than take the stupid copy of the Watchtower that is all slushy because they’ve been trekking through the cold all day?!

Seriously?

Skeptical Greg

7th September 2010, 02:51 PM

Seriously..

It doesn't sound like any JW's I have ever encountered ..

RobRoy

7th September 2010, 02:53 PM

Seriously..

It doesn't sound like any JW's I have ever encountered ..

Seriously . . . in general, probably not.

But that doesn't mean that every JW everywhere in the world at every time had a cheery smile on their face and was having the best day of their pre-immortal existence. Painting with a broad brush usually leaves streaks.

Barsdamian

7th September 2010, 10:02 PM

I general most JWs you meet at the door will be smiling, polite and friendly. That's not to say you won't find an angry witness or two, its just that those types don't end up doing much door to door work. A couple of incidents at the door and you won't be doing any more preaching work.

I witnessed a few ugly doorstep confrontations but those are rare.

Vortigern99

7th September 2010, 10:43 PM

Seriously? You mean JWs never have a bad day, or a bad experience with the neighbor whose dinner they just interrupted, or are upset with the dog that just chased them off the lawn, or walked three miles in the snow, uphill to get to your door, then slipped on the steps because you didn’t salt like you were supposed to, and now they want to sue you, but instead they’re going to bring the goddam word of Jesus Christ to your sorry ass even though they know you’re more likely to slam the door in their face than take the stupid copy of the Watchtower that is all slushy because they’ve been trekking through the cold all day?!

Seriously?

Yeah, I bet that one guy is a total ass -- except that here in Texas, instead of snow and ice he'd be covered in sweat, and acting all cranky from the heat, and the last door wouldn't have given him so much as a drink of water, and does he really have to wear a TIE in 106-degree weather...?

Of course people are individuals, and most of us are prone to the same foibles of irritation, annoyance, temper loss, etc. Allow me, then, to amend my earlier assertions about the behavior of Witnesses with the phrases "in the main" or "in most circumstances".

Also, it bears noting that Witnesses travel in pairs, usually relatives. This pairing no doubt provides a stabilizing element against emotionally difficult situations like the one you've described above. I have firsthand knowledge that the ethos of this religion dictates kindness and mildness in dealing with others; anger and harsh words are not condoned by those in authority.

Surely unpleasant encounters happen, and surely Witnesses like anyone else sometimes lose their cool. But the pairing of door-knocking teams provides a buffer against the likelihood of it happening -- as does each Witness' ethos of kind and gentle behavior, and good manners.

CriticalSock

8th September 2010, 09:11 AM

Let's not get too lovey dovey here. The individuals include some lovely, generous, kind-hearted people, but the organisation wreaks havoc and misery on countless people either through the breaking up families through disfellowshipping or the misery and death caused by not accepting medical treatment. The JW religion claims to be the only religion which causes no harm because of its pacifist stand on war and it's non participance in politics, but this is not the case.

Vortigern99

8th September 2010, 09:30 AM

Yes, the "no blood transfusions" thing was what ultimately caused my first wife and I to stop studying with the Witnesses. (That and, for me, the lack of belief in the resurrection, prophecy and other supernatural elements of Christian theology.) At the time, my first wife (now deceased) needed blood transfusions to live. We enjoyed attending Kingdom Hall with our two friends, but in the end it was a pretty simple decision to break off our involvement.

When I explained to our friend (the wife of the couple with whom we studied) that we would no longer be studying with them, the woman (who was very nice but I could always sense a bit of a temper underneath her calm exterior) tried to talk me out of it by stating that for us to accept a blood transfusion was a personal choice. I countered that it was anathema to their teachings and that we would be chastised for it, even "disfellowshipped" if we continued to do it after we became members. She had to admit that was correct, and wished us well.

Skeptical Greg

8th September 2010, 09:46 AM

Let's not get too lovey dovey here....

Well, the subject is about their demeanor when " witnessing " door to door ..

The details of what makes a JW a JW, is a whole 'nother discussion and a half ..

RobRoy

8th September 2010, 09:59 AM

Of course people are individuals, and most of us are prone to the same foibles of irritation, annoyance, temper loss, etc. Allow me, then, to amend my earlier assertions about the behavior of Witnesses with the phrases "in the main" or "in most circumstances".

Very good. Exactly my point.

BoGardiner

8th September 2010, 06:09 PM

I had two make a return call last week after they'd been here a couple weeks before that. They had notes on me, and said something like "we understand you're not religious, so we not here to talk about religion. We just wanted to give you a scientific publication." I glanced down and it was an anti-evolution tract.

Creepily clever. And profoundly dishonest.

In the "There Are None So Blind Department"
... this month's JW Awake magazine's scary cover story "Is Atheism on the March?" opens with "..."new atheists are not content to keep their views to themselves."

Burning Beard

8th September 2010, 06:19 PM

Years ago a friend of mine got a Saturday wake-up from the Jehova's Witnesses. He was in his pyjamas and his "package" fell out - they certainly "witnessed" something that day.

An hour later the police show up because they complained that he deliberately exposed himself to them. When he explained what happened the cops laughed and left hiim alone.

Delvo

8th September 2010, 09:40 PM

"Fell out"? My Low Plausibility warning light is blinking.

* * *

I once had a couple of them show up just when I was about to go outside to get something from my car and bring it in. One of them apologized for catching me when I was busy or just about to leave, and the other laughed and told her not to worry, because she could tell I wasn't about to go anywhere, because my feet were bare. (It was winter.)

Then they started on their religious pitch. So I gave a quick, simple answer about how if there was a God then it couldn't be both all-powerful and benevolent because a world run by such a God wouldn't have problems in it and a world with problems in it couldn't be the work of such a God. As I finished the sentence, I started walking out right past them to get down to my car, not pausing to listen for an answer, to show that what I'd just said was the absolute final word on the subject as far as I was concerned.

They seemed mildly shocked, and they verbally stumbled for a moment before saying something like "Well... OK then" and leaving, saying "Have a nice day" or such. I never knew whether they were reacting more to what I'd said and how I'd said it, or to the fact that I was walking barefoot on cold concrete and then in snow. Either way, it was amusing, though.

Myriad

9th September 2010, 08:37 AM

...or to the fact that I was walking barefoot on cold concrete and then in snow.

Just as an aside -- I've always marveled at how many people think stepping on snow or ice for a few seconds with bare feet must be some kind of unbearable torture. I ask them whether they've ever picked up ice cubes with their bare hands.

My wife tells doorstep JW's, "Oh good, come on in and tell me about your god and I'll tell you about mine." She has a way of saying it in a completely normal speaking voice, and yet clearly conveying that her god lives in our basement and uses its innumerable dimension-spanning tentacles to consume the souls of Jehovah's Witnesses. (Which is not even true, my wife is actually an atheist and the tentacled abomination in the basement eats Kashi crackers and isn't even really a god.)

Respectfully,
Myriad

Vortigern99

9th September 2010, 09:22 AM

Your wife is fun!

I'm saying that to avoid the tentacles, of course. :eek:

Eddie Dane

9th September 2010, 09:43 AM

Open the door wearing an ice-hockey mask.
Don't speak. Just stand there, breathing heavily.

Ryan O'Dine

9th September 2010, 09:56 AM

I once had a couple of them show up just when I was about to go outside to get something from my car and bring it in. One of them apologized for catching me when I was busy or just about to leave, and the other laughed and told her not to worry, because she could tell I wasn't about to go anywhere, because my feet were bare. (It was winter.)

Then they started on their religious pitch. So I gave a quick, simple answer about how if there was a God then it couldn't be both all-powerful and benevolent because a world run by such a God wouldn't have problems in it and a world with problems in it couldn't be the work of such a God. As I finished the sentence, I started walking out right past them to get down to my car, not pausing to listen for an answer, to show that what I'd just said was the absolute final word on the subject as far as I was concerned.

They seemed mildly shocked, and they verbally stumbled for a moment before saying something like "Well... OK then" and leaving, saying "Have a nice day" or such. I never knew whether they were reacting more to what I'd said and how I'd said it, or to the fact that I was walking barefoot on cold concrete and then in snow. Either way, it was amusing, though.
I entertained an older JW for several visits last summer, and the 'Why does God allow evil?' question was one of the first I asked. His answer: "I don't know."

It was kind of refreshing, actually. I'm not sure you'd get such an honest confession of ignorance from your typical fundamentalist, say.

Which is not even true, my wife is actually an atheist and the tentacled abomination in the basement eats Kashi crackers and isn't even really a god.)

Respectfully,
Myriad
At least we know what makes it an abomination.

Shalamar

9th September 2010, 10:09 AM

Open the door wearing an ice-hockey mask.
Don't speak. Just stand there, breathing heavily.

I want to do that while wearing
<-------

That. Alas, it takes a while to put the outfit on, and it isn't practical unless I know in advance that they're coming down the street.

RobRoy

9th September 2010, 10:14 AM

I want to do that while wearing
<-------

That. Alas, it takes a while to put the outfit on, and it isn't practical unless I know in advance that they're coming down the street.

I'm confused. If you own the outfit, why would you ever take it off? :confused:

Shalamar

9th September 2010, 10:18 AM

I'm confused. If you own the outfit, why would you ever take it off? :confused:

Go outside on a hot day, while wearing 3 payers of wool, plus leather, Satin, fiberglass, and be completely encased.

I can generally wear it for 2 hours before it HAS to come off. I need a new bodysuit.. one that breathes a little better...

It IS awesome though.

RobRoy

9th September 2010, 10:20 AM

Go outside on a hot day, while wearing 3 payers of wool, plus leather, Satin, fiberglass, and be completely encased.

I can generally wear it for 2 hours before it HAS to come off. I need a new bodysuit.. one that breathes a little better...

It IS awesome though.

You should have gotten the suit with internal climate control.

Shalamar

9th September 2010, 10:23 AM

You should have gotten the suit with internal climate control.

For warm days, I do wear Icepacks under it, but full climate control... A little difficult to find, and still be portable.

RobRoy

9th September 2010, 10:46 AM

For warm days, I do wear Icepacks under it, but full climate control... A little difficult to find, and still be portable.

Hmmm . . . I'm guessing you haven't learned how to Force-choke someone either.

Shalamar

9th September 2010, 10:58 AM

Hmmm . . . I'm guessing you haven't learned how to Force-choke someone either.

Only if they are VERY close to me, and I can wrap my hand around their throat. :)

RobRoy

9th September 2010, 11:01 AM

Only if they are VERY close to me, and I can wrap my hand around their throat. :)

You keep working on it. Perhaps the Society will consider allowing you into the Sanctum Store for an upgraded suit.

Don't ask more. I've already said too much.

Burning Beard

9th September 2010, 04:22 PM

"Fell out"? My Low Plausibility warning light is blinking.

Why's that? Pyjamas with no buttons on the fly make this entirely plausable.

rwerdja

10th September 2010, 03:25 AM

We had two Mormons come to the door this last Saturday ... My husband and I asked them if they'd come back the next morning for a controlled dialog ... they returned at 10am Sunday and we invited them in for cookies and tea (herbal, of course) The rules that we all agreed to were: The Mormons would talk for two minutes on any topic of their choice, followed by a two minute rebuttal from us (atheists) Then two minutes on any topic by us, followed by a two minute rebuttal from them, and then two minutes of a new topic by them, back and forth. We did this for an hour ... and although no one converted, it was, I believe, an eye opener for them. I doubt they had ever met, let alone talked with any atheists before, and I think it allowed them an opportunity to hear thoughts and ideas they had never encountered before. We talked about divine hiddenness, the effectiveness of prayer, and proof (or lack) of God's existence. They talked about the "feeling" that God existed, and described that feeling to be as sure to them as they were sure that the table we were sitting at was there. It was interesting and fun and I'm pretty sure I'd want to do that again.

RobRoy

10th September 2010, 10:01 AM