Where is RSL? - Part 2

[RSLancastr]

In the earlier thread "Where is RSL?", I listed several abilities and character traits which I had always considered integral parts of "who I am", but which the stroke had either destroyed or severely reduced. Well, add another loss to the list:

My Ability to Read

I've always been a Reader. Here are some highlights of my journey as such:

AT HOME

When I was still a toddler, my two older sisters (Beeg Seestor and Not-So-Beeg Seestor) loved to play School. they were the teachers, I was the lowly student. They taught me to read, and I ate it up.

PRESCHOOL

When I went to pre-school, one of the teachers was very interested in the new/revival of the concept of teaching reading via phonics (this was the early 1960s), and, finding that I had already started reading, chose me as her "guinea pig" to try teaching this way. this led to my reading skills improving, whereas most of the other kids in the class could not read at all.

KINDERGARTEN

On my first day of kindergarten, as each child was introduced to the teacher by their parent, one of the questions asked as part of assessing the child's abilities was "what book(s) is he/she reading?" most of the other children were either not reading at all, or were reading "Dick and Jane"-type books. When the teacher asked my mom what I liked to read, she replied "The Reader's Digest." The teacher was, well, quite skeptical of this, and my mother demanded that the teacher go get a copy of the Digest from the teacher's lounge. The teacher did so, and upon returning to the class, handed me the magazine, opened to the article she wanted me to attempt to read.

Although I did not know the meaning of all of the words, I was still able to sound them out pretty well, which totally surprised the teacher. My mother is still proud and rather smug about this incident, almost 50 years later.

2ND GRADE

After kindergarten, I was tested (in all subjects) to see if I was ready for first grade. After the test, my parents were advised to place me directly into the third grade, as I already knew much of what would be taught in first and second grade. My father was all for this, but my mother thought it would not be good for me to suddenly be with kids so far ahead of me physically. my parents compromised, and I skipped only the first grade. This is not something I would recommend to parents. there is a big difference, physically, between kids of these ages, and, for me, suddenly being mixed in with these "big kids" was the beginning of years of being the last kid picked to play any sport, and a lifetime of hating just about all sports. I think that skipping a grade at this age can only work well if the parents (and teachers) work carefully to compensate for this. Back to reading: the school had no library, but, a couple of times each month, our class got to visit the bookmobile. I was enthralled to see so many books in one place. On my first such visit, the driver tried to keep me in the area where books for second graders were kept, so I had to bring a note from home giving me permission to check out books from the sections for older kids. I also got special permission to check out more than one book at a time, starting me on a life of voratious reading. I remember reading Treasure Island, Kidnapped!, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea and many other such books during this time.

The next milestone I recall was in

4TH GRADE

One day I was instructed to go to the school office, where I was given an extended IQ and reading test. After grading the test, the person administering the test told me that I was reading at second-year college level! I still remember being surprised (and disappointed) that people some ten years older than me were not expected to read any better than I was! And, over the next ten years, I was never challenged to read at a level any higher than that which I had acheived by the fourth grade.

HIGH SCHOOL

In English class my sophomore year of high school, we had an assignment to read the novel Silas Marner, and to read a second book of our own choosing, then write a report comparing and contrasting the two. The "book" I chose was Tolkien's Lord of the Rings trilogy. I had wanted to read it for some time, so being able to do so as part of a class assignment was an opportunity not to be missed. Others in the class thought that I was crazy to voluntarily read three large books. One of them had chosen a comic book. Another, the script to an episode of a sitcom.

After reading both Marner and Rings, I was initially at a loss to find parallels between the works, and so started my report with the following sentence:

"At first glance, Silas Marner and The Lord of the Rings appear to have about as much in common as a bull moose and a relief map of North America."

That sentence sat alone atop a sheet of paper in my typewriter (remember those?) until the parallel finally struck me: the titular character in Silas Marner was a miser whose life had been corrupted by his desire for gold. Frodo, the central character in Rings, had been corrupted by The Ring, also made of gold.
Both characters found redemption through selfless acts: Marner through his caring for an orphaned child, Frodo through his key role in the quest to destroy The Ring.

I received an "A" for the report, which the teacher read aloud to the class as an example of what he was looking for in the assignment.

LATER

Books have continued to be a cornerstone of my life. I got involved with both of the women I've married partly because they shared my love of books and reading. Some of my most treasured memories with my children (and treasured by them as well, I hope) are the bedtimes when I would read to them from what they called "chapter books". sometimes these were books written for children, such as Roald Dahl's "The BFG", "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" and others. Other times we would read more adult fare, such as Ender's Game, The Hobbit, Tailchaser's Song and Jurassic Park. There were times when I had to edit out certain passages "on the fly", such as a point in Jurassic Park where some small dinosaurs sneak into a home and eat a baby in its crib, but for the most part, I wisely chose books where this was not needed. Recently I bought copies of some of these books and sent them as gifts to my oldest daughter, who is expecting a baby any day now. In a note enclosed in one of the books, I asked her to please pass on the Lancaster love of reading.

RECENTLY

I include all of the above, which I realize contains an inordinate amount of bragging, to give you a feel for just how large a role reading has played in my life, so you can better appreciate how devestating it is to me that the stroke has made reading difficult, at times impossible for me.

A few months after the stroke, a speech therapist asked me to read aloud from a magazine while she followed along using another copy of the magazine. There were times where there was obviously a word or two missing from a sentence, and other times when a word or two would be unreadable, as they appeared to be way out of focus. After I read several paragraphs, the therapist informed me that I was suffering from "left side neglect." this is something which often happens to people who, like me, suffer a right-brain stroke. With left-side neglect, a person sometimes ignores, or can't see, objects to their left. After hearing this, I looked at the magazine again, and it became clear to me that all of the words I thought were out-of-focus (or missing entirely) were close to the left side of the page.

There were also times after the stroke where, for example, I would be brought a breakfast tray in bed. partway through the meal, I would look for something (a salt shaker, my orange juice, etc) which I had noticed on the tray earlier, but now could not find it. Once I learned about "left-side neglect", whenever something mysteriously vanished from my tray, I would search for it more intently on the left side of the tray, and, sure enough, there it would be.

NOW

Now, a year or so after learning about left-side neglect, it no lnger seems to happen. either that section of the brain has healed, or I have learned to automatically compensate for it.

Left-side neglect aside (so to speak), whenever I tried to read something in the hospital, I could only concentrate on it for a page or so, then my mind wuld wander, and I would find myself having to read a paragraph several times before I would get the gist of it. I would end up tossing the book aside after reading a page at most. This from a person who, pre-stroke, would often read an entire book in one or two sittings.

After coming home, I've tried reading a few times, but it quickly became obvious that I needed a new prescription for my glasses. I finally got new glasses a few days ago, and, just yesrerday, I sat down with a new book and gave it a go. There are now no "missing" words, but there are still ones way out of focus, and they are not limited to the left side of the page. These occur every two or three sentences. I cannot read an entire page without getting so frustrated (and disgusted with myself) that I have to put the book down.

Part of this is from the stroke, and part is just because I am 51 years old, and my eyes need more light and larger print than before.

So, this has been a rather long-winded (even for me) way of saying that yet another important part of my self-image has taken a hit. Susan tells me that, given time and practice, this will improve, as will many of my new deficits.

I hope so because, in the meantime, it hurts.

[Dunstan]

Have you tried books on tape? (Or, I guess they're called CD or "audiobooks" these days.) Obviously a lot of books still aren't available in that format, but even with a limited selection you might be able to get back that book "reading" aspect.

I recall that L.A. libraries make some of their audio collection downloadable, so you can avoid some of the expense of CDs.

[RSLancastr]

Now that you mention it Dunstan, I have some on tape and CD which I have yet to "read", if only I can find them...

[ExMinister]

As a passionate fellow reader I can only imagine how frustrating that would be.

First of all, a better lamp seems to be in order! I would get the brightest lighting possible and see how much difference that makes. I imagine you already have reading glasses.

That done, it might be worthwhile to ask someone in the medical field if the blurriness you're experiencing is something that is likely to resolve more effectively with practice, or if it's just a matter of time.

If practice, then the more you sit down with the books, the faster you will get through this and the sooner back to your old self, which you will love.

If time, then I would say, once again, be patient with yourself, maybe even try books on tapes for awhile to lessen your frustration while you wait it out.

P.S. I have a sneaking suspicion that "patience" is probably fast becoming one of your LEAST favorite words!

[Dunstan]

[tongue in cheek]
You could just read nothing but Twitter -- then you'll never have to read more than 140 characters at a time!

[Amapola]

Please understand I am not saying what I've experienced is the same by any stretch of the imagination, but your struggle with reading reminds of something I've been going through.

I used to play the guitar quite well but had to give it up due to carpal tunnel. It's been 15 years, but the other day I got the guitar out again. At first I could remember nothing. I could barely remember how to tune it. I've had to teach myself (again) note by note. I can only take it for about 5 minutes... but I have been keeping at it, and trying to practice several times a day, even if it's just for a few minutes. Now there are times when I can play 6 notes of the song in a row! *grimaces* This is NOTHING compared to what I once could do. It drives me crazy, I can so clearly remember what it was like to play a song all the way through. For now they'll just have to play in my head, because I simply can no longer play like I once could. I'll just have to keep at it, and see if my 6 notes in a row can get to 10 etc.

Anyway it's a long way of saying, I know it can be hard, and you have my sympathies.

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

I feel your pain. I too was addicted to books as a child and a prepubescent (as a teenager, I grew out of being a bookworm). Boy, did I read.

The school system I grew up with had a lot of literacy programs and some idiotic requirement that children read 25 books a year and write a short report on all of them. I easily did four or five times that on my own and not in the least because anyone asked. And I never did the reports. :D Never.

I hated writing them so much and it was so pointless for me (they were designed pretty much only to force a kid to read a book and make sure he/she had read it) and I only did the 25 of them the week they were due for the year (and only when teachers literally nonstop nagged me.) I was infamous for this in my school. I was notorious for never doing any book reports despite always having my nose in a novel.

It's funny about parents reading to their children. My father used to always read to me and my sister and we adored it (and I'm sure he loved it) even though, looking back, he chose age inappropriate books, gender inappropriate books, wasn't a great storyteller, wasn't great at explaining things we didn't understand or didn't really get, was a pretty bad reader and wasn't good at reading to children specifically and it shouldn't have been much fun.

He basically read us all the second rate books of his youth that he had loved when he was a boy, like Karl May's novels and all the even more inferior imitations. He also edited things out, skipped parts he didn't like, sometimes didn't get the jokes in the books or completely failed to recognize that something was even intended to be one, often didn't get references, read something in a completely inappropriate tone to the material and sometimes inserted things that weren't in there for a laugh.

I remember my mother being amazed that my sister and I liked our father reading to us. "You like that? That awful book? And that hoarse monotone he always reads in?". And yet we did and, if I were a parent, I'd make sure to read to my children based on his example. That's the magic of reading.

[JoeTheJuggler]

I've always been resistant to listening to audio books, but I listened to a couple when I had some long driving to do a couple years ago. It was a surprisingly pleasant experience. (It was a few Terry Pratchett books I hadn't yet read, and the reader was very skilled.)

<derail>
I mentioned I'd be wearing my Stop Sylvia cap for joggling in the half-marathon that was last week (Sunday the 1st). I did, but I didn't get any good still photos.

However, a local TV show did a short feature on me, and I was wearing my Stop Sylvia cap--at least part of the time--for that:

http://www.ksdk.com/life/programming/local/showme/story.aspx?storyid=189485&catid=78

</derail>

ETA: I understand you can really learn to keep checking things to the left to compensate for left neglect. It really has to become habit to remind yourself to keep checking to the left.

[ExMinister]

I've always been resistant to listening to audio books, but I listened to a couple when I had some long driving to do a couple years ago. It was a surprisingly pleasant experience. (It was a few Terry Pratchett books I hadn't yet read, and the reader was very skilled.)

<derail>
I mentioned I'd be wearing my Stop Sylvia cap for joggling in the half-marathon that was last week (Sunday the 1st). I did, but I didn't get any good still photos.

However, a local TV show did a short feature on me, and I was wearing my Stop Sylvia cap--at least part of the time--for that:

http://www.ksdk.com/life/programming/local/showme/story.aspx?storyid=189485&catid=78

</derail>

ETA: I understand you can really learn to keep checking things to the left to compensate for left neglect. It really has to become habit to remind yourself to keep checking to the left.


Cool video, Joe. That looks like a lot of fun. I can't juggle to save my life and now my running seems so... well, ordinary. :) Next time we'll have to have you wearing the Stop Sylvia T-shirt too!

[RSLancastr]

Please understand I am not saying what I've experienced is the same by any stretch of the imagination, but your struggle with reading reminds of something I've been going through.

I used to play the guitar quite well but had to give it up due to carpal tunnel.yes Amapola, this is very like what I am going through with my mandolin. Imagine trying to play your guitar with your fretting hand frozen in a tight fist, :(

thanks,

rsl

[RSLancastr]

First of all, a better lamp seems to be in order! I would get the brightest lighting possible and see how much difference that makes. I imagine you already have reading glasses.

That done, it might be worthwhile to ask someone in the medical field if the blurriness you're experiencing is something that is likely to resolve more effectively with practice, or if it's just a matter of time.thanks for the ideas, exM! it is very much what i had planned.

P.S. I have a sneaking suspicion that "patience" is probably fast becoming one of your LEAST favorite words!Well, it is definitely fast becoming one of my weakest suits, that's for certain.

[borealys]

My sympathies, Robert ... that's got to be awful. I'm an avid reader too, and I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't read.

My dad read to me every night from well before I could talk, and I was barely three when I started demanding to be shown which word was where on the page. My kindergarten teacher remembered me years later as her "little friend who was always reading." Not that I read much above my age level -- in fact, my fifth grade teacher told my mother at a parent-teacher conference that she should take away my Babysitters Club books, because I was "too smart" to be reading them. My mother asked her how many of her students actually liked to read anything at all, which effectively shut her up. I got to the advanced stuff by the time I hit high school. My book collection still includes a rather eccentric mix of genres, styles, and levels of quality, and it's well over 600 titles.

My boyfriend's grandmother is 89 years old, and has lost nothing in her old age except for hearing and eyesight. She's as avid a reader as I am, but now relies on a device she got from the local institute for the blind, which projects the text onto her television screen. She's been known to call her grandson in tears when the thing breaks down.

Not sure where I'm going with this set of anecdotes, except to say that your reading difficulty sucks. Not sure what your reading taste is, but maybe for the time being, stick to the simpler stuff, magazines, short fiction, that sort of thing, and build your skills back up? Or reread an old favourite that you already know fairly well? It sounds like you've been compensating and recovering well so far, so you've got a good shot at getting it back. Nothing rewires those brain circuits like putting them to work!

With that said, it's worth asking your doc about the blurriness to see what, if anything he can recommend to help you out. (Or to see if he recommends the exact opposite of what I just did! ;) )

[Niggle]

Hi, Robert,

I've always been a voracious reader, too, so I can understand your frustration. I'd suggest sticking to short reading material for awhile so you CAN finish it without getting too frustrated (Reader's Digest is great for that). Like having been laid up and then having to get back in shape, you have to start VERY slow, then work your way up to it.

I had knee surgery for an injury that was twelve years old. By then, my quad muscles had atrophied away virtually completely (no kidding; shocked the hell out of my PTs that the one on the left (outside) of my leg was completely flat, even when my thigh muscles were tightly clenched). It took me a whole year to get any tone back in it. Even now, it's barely noticeable and sits higher than it should. I've never been able to rehab it completely (two additional surgeries didn't help).

The surgery itself required me to be completely non-load-bearing for nine weeks on that leg and to use crutches with very little weight for another four before I could graduate to a single crutch, then a cane. My first session on an exercise bike, when I finally got there, was two minutes. It took a month to get up to ten. Same with everything else I had to do. It took a full year to rehab an arthroscopic knee surgery.

So even if it seems like you're doing nothing, it really will take that kind of slow progress to get back to where you were (or even anywhere near it). Start with short pieces of text (like the joke sections in the RD). Move on to one-page articles. Try some short stories in other books. Hell, even children's books would be good practice, even if not very interesting.

The point is to find a level of reading you CAN finish. Then find a slightly longer piece you can finish. Once you can start finishing some reading, you'll start feeling a little better about it, and your anxiety level will drop. That will help you make more progress.

Hang in there. Heck, if you make it through this post, you'll be making real progress!

:D

[RSLancastr]

Hang in there. Heck, if you make it through this post, you'll be making real progress!:D
thanks for the advice, Niggle. And continued success on your rehab.

Actually, making it through posts is no problem. I seem to have no problem reading on the computer.

[Amapola]

thanks for the advice, Niggle. And continued success on your rehab.

Actually, making it through posts is no problem. I seem to have no problem reading on the computer.

I wonder why that would be so? Body posture, perhaps? Some of the posts seem to be quite lengthy, so it does not seem it would be because they are short. That's pretty interesting.

Sorry to hear about your hand. :( I had my right hand broken, and had a tendon torn off the end of my finger. I could not do much while it was in a cast (for 6 months!) but afterward my hand was basically frozen in position and I spent hours bending it back and forth to try and get the motion back. I'd put my hand in hot water and bend it back and forth, forcing the fingers open and closed etc. Through shear pig-headedness I finally got it back to close to full motion, despite the doctor's gloomy prediction that it would always give me trouble.

[RSLancastr]

I read a book! Susan remembered that KittyNH had sent me some large-print books some time ago, and brought out Rald Dahl's "Esio Trot" It is a 60-page children's book. I was able to read it in one sitting, with nary a disappearing word! Thanks Kitty, for freseeing this need a year in advance!

[rjh01]

If you go to your library there should be large print books. You can try reading those.

[RSLancastr]

Hey, I put on a pair of socks for the first time since the stroke! To be more clear: I have worn socks many times since the stroke, but this was the first time that I was the one to place them on my feet. This ability was not something I used to define myself by, but it is a little victory, and is very welcome.

[borealys]

I'm trying to imagine how one would put on socks without the full use of both arms and legs. Amazing how complicated all of the seemingly simple things in life turn out to be.

Way to go, Robert!

[rjh01]

I just took off and put back on one sock myself with one hand. I got a little frustrated because it does take longer to start. Once the sock is on the foot the rest is easy. Please note I am right handed and I used my right hand. Should I try again with my left hand? I forget which side Robert had his stroke. Also I had full use of both legs.

Robert. Something that might be useful. Write down what parts of the body you can use and to what extent. Also what you can and cannot do, but want to (like put on your socks without help). Be great if that was a post here. Then every month or two review it and note any changes. Because otherwise in 12 months time you will say you have not made any improvement when the improvement is vast. You just forgot about it. The moderated thread might be best for that.


borealys - The best way to answer your implied question is to try it yourself.

[borealys]

*shrug* ... it wasn't really a question about socks. More a statement about how much we folks with more-or-less intact brains take for granted. I work in a rehab field, so I see that sort of thing every day -- something most of us don't think twice about turns out to be quite complex.

[TjW]

Hey, I put on a pair of socks for the first time since the stroke! To be more clear: I have worn socks many times since the stroke, but this was the first time that I was the one to place them on my feet. This ability was not something I used to define myself by, but it is a little victory, and is very welcome.

Well, be careful, and only practice safe socks.

[RSLancastr]

I'm trying to imagine how one would put on socks without the full use of both arms and legs.Yes, it's not easy, that's for certain. It would be difficult and tedious to explain the procedure here, but if folks are interested, I will do so.


Amazing how complicated all of the seemingly simple things in life turn out to be.Isn't it? Even the simplest of tasks now take planning, compensating, and, more often than not, Susan's help.

Way to go, Robert!
Thanks, borealys!

[RSLancastr]

I just took off and put back on one sock myself with one hand. I got a little frustrated because it does take longer to start. Once the sock is on the foot the rest is easy. Please note I am right handed and I used my right hand. Should I try again with my left hand? I forget which side Robert had his stroke. Also I had full use of both legs.

Robert. Something that might be useful. Write down what parts of the body you can use and to what extent.It would be far easier to list those parts which are not working properly (due to the stroke):

the stroke waas in my right-brain, so it is the left side of my body which was damaged. The main results of this:


My left arm:
- the shoulder is nearly out of its socket (subluxation), making it difficult/painful to lift the arm by bending it at the shoulder. Simply lifting my left hand to my mouth is somewhat akin to your doing so with a heavy weight (50 lbs. or so) strapped to your wrist. I must be careful noot to let the arm dangle, lest the weight of it pull the shoulder totally out of its socket.
My left hand:
- the hand is clenched in an approximation of a fist. I cannot open the hand, though I can use my right hand to slowly uncurl the left hand's fingers one by one. Once they are opened, they will immediately curl back up into a fist if i do not use my right hand to hold them in place. If i am not careful, the left hand's fingernails will cut into the palm of my left hand.

My left leg:
- often feels as though the hip is coming out of its socket, though this may be due to simple fatigue. The leg lacks the strength to bear up under my weight, and the knee tries to bend in ways in which it was never meant to bend. the simple exercise of lifting my left leg up (in a kicking motion) while I am seated becomes a Herculean task.

My left foot
- I cannot move the toes on this foot, nor can I control the bending of the ankle. left to it's own devices, the foot bends underneath me in such a way that would have me walking on the outer edge of the foot rather than the bottom/sole. When Susan is putting on my shoes, this foot is totally uncooperative, bending/pointing inthe wrong direction. I suppose I should mention that i wear an AFO (Ankle/Foot Orthotic) on my left leg/foot. This is a plastic device that looks something like a boot. It is worn between the sock and shoe, and helps to keep my foot/ankle straight.

My right arm and leg
- are still very strong (one of my therapists used to say that my right side was "strong as a bull"), though they are frequently tired from overuse (when I stand to transfer (from wheelchair to bed, etc.), it is the right leg which lifts ands supports my weight, and my right arm/hand which holds onto something for balance.

My eyes
- don't focus as well as they once did, and require more light. Thhey also tire easily.
My brain
- has its problems. I find myself confused at times by simple things, and my attention span isn't worth squat.

The rest of me is pretty much as it was pre-stroke.

So, here is what I do to put on a pair of socks:

- I put on the right sock pretty much as i always have, though I must do it totally with my right hand. A bit awkward, but very doable.
- the left sock is another story. All of the following is done without using my left hand, seated on the right-side edge of my bed.
- I cannot cross my left leg over my right knee (as I would have pre-stroke), so, to get the left foot within reach, I struggle into a position where I am facing to my left, with the left leg up on the matress with the left foot extended past the mattress. I can now reach it, but i must be careful not too lean too far towards it, as this causes the hip a lot of pain, and can easily cause me to fall over (and out of the bed).
- holding the sock in my right hand, I place the opening around my toes and carefully (so as not to drop it) pull it up and onto the foot. This is difficult, as I cannot help by turning the foot or bending its toes.

There it is. Typing it in, it seems simpler than it actually is. I have heard that there are clever devices which can be used to hold the sock open and to pull it onto the foot. we will be looking obtaining one.

Also what you can and cannot do, but want to (like put on your socks without help).

This would be a rather long and tedious list, most of which I could not think of offhand, but would need to write down and add to it throughout the day as things occured to me.

But at the top of the list would be:

1. standing up (from my wheelchair, my bed, other chairs) unassisted.
2. remaining standing unassisted.
3. walking unassisted.
4. Getting dressed/undressed unassisted (I do this largely unassisted now, except for my shoes and AFO, but I do it awkwardly, and with more time and effort than I'd like.
5. Use the toilet unassisted.
6. strap myself into position in the van.
7. unstrap myself from the van.

With those abilities, my life (and, more importantly, Susan's life) would be much, much easier.

There are dozns, if not hundreds of smaller tasks which belong on the list, but they pale in importance to thse listed above, especially the first three.


Be great if that was a post here. Then every month or two review it and note any changes. Because otherwise in 12 months time you will say you have not made any improvement when the improvement is vast. You just forgot about it. The moderated thread might be best for that.

[/QUOTE]

[RSLancastr]

Well, be careful, and only practice safe socks.:)

[Eejit]

Greetings Mr Lancaster,

I've admired your work for some time now, or rather, the way you go about doing it. Don't get me wrong, I've no time for the likes of Ms Sylvia Browne or anyone like her. It's just that I respect more, your ability and practice of what is essentially direct confrontation, in such a way, that both your intelligence and your very considerate persona, set aside a massive amount of potentially meaningless conflict and facilitate an examination of your arguments sans bickering and needless emotions, clouding the facts.

It's a rare gift. And it's comforting indeed, to see that the stroke didn't take it too.

The similarities of our histories with regard to reading is quite interesting. There was a time, when I'd polish off 5 or 6 books in a week. In the last couple of years, I've read maybe two books. And I've not had a stroke. I just got out of the habit of it - and I cannot, for the life of me, get it back, or rather I'm not as of yet, motivated enough to try.

It seems to me, and I'm not a doctor, that the stroke may not be as big a player in this, as one might suspect. The fact that you can read what's on your computer screen without words disappearing or blurring, would suggest, to me at least, that it's not your actual reading ability, that's the main problem here. Your computer is an independent light source, a book isn't (unless one wants to talk sub-atomic particles).

Again, I'm not a doctor, or anything close to one.

Why not ask that incredible and excellent lady you were lucky enough to find and marry, to help you scan whatever books and other reading material you desire to read, onto a laptop for you?

Use your computer to put you back into the saddle. Build up your ability to take in and retain large amounts of data again, and then, slowly and patiently (you're very patient and understanding with others - you deserve at the very least, the same levels of both, for yourself, from yourself). I'd suggest that you tweak ambient lighting conditions too, so that you might, via experimentation, find the optimal conditions to facilitate your comfort for reading.

I suppose another factor that might have a part to play in this is the fact that your computer is a lifeline, whereby you can communicate with the world at large. A book is a lifeline to your self and your imagination. Which lifeline would others judge to be your priority? Which is the more important medium from your own point of view?

You needed to reconnect I believe and I believe this need took the priority.

Okay, enough amateur quackery from me (or I'll be accusing myself of having turned to woo).

I'll end with a request:

Would ya ever get up off yer ass and write your story. I'll be first in the queue to buy a copy (in Ireland that is).

Keep up the great work. And keep the faith. Faith is not woo, and faith in yourself is the reward for your own hard work, and you should be availing of it. I'm not alone (I'm fairly sure) in letting you know that I have faith in you. And there's no supernatural claim implied in that.

Many regards,
Seán.

[RSLancastr]

Greetings Mr Lancaster,
Eejit, thanks for the long and thoughtful post. I think that the reason why I can read from the monitor is due to it being a light source. i bet that, were I to play with the font size, color, etc., that I would indeed start missing some words.

Rather than putting Susan through scanning my books, I hope to try a Kindle, or better yet, Kindle For the PC.

It's a rare gift. And it's comforting indeed, to see that the stroke didn't take it too.

The similarities of our histories with regard to reading is quite interesting. There was a time, when I'd polish off 5 or 6 books in a week. In the last couple of years, I've read maybe two books. And I've not had a stroke. I just got out of the habit of it - and I cannot, for the life of me, get it back, or rather I'm not as of yet, motivated enough to try.

It seems to me, and I'm not a doctor, that the stroke may not be as big a player in this, as one might suspect. The fact that you can read what's on your computer screen without words disappearing or blurring, would suggest, to me at least, that it's not your actual reading ability, that's the main problem here. Your computer is an independent light source, a book isn't (unless one wants to talk sub-atomic particles).

Again, I'm not a doctor, or anything close to one.

Why not ask that incredible and excellent lady you were lucky enough to find and marry, to help you scan whatever books and other reading material you desire to read, onto a laptop for you?

Use your computer to put you back into the saddle. Build up your ability to take in and retain large amounts of data again, and then, slowly and patiently (you're very patient and understanding with others - you deserve at the very least, the same levels of both, for yourself, from yourself). I'd suggest that you tweak ambient lighting conditions too, so that you might, via experimentation, find the optimal conditions to facilitate your comfort for reading.

I suppose another factor that might have a part to play in this is the fact that your computer is a lifeline, whereby you can communicate with the world at large. A book is a lifeline to your self and your imagination. Which lifeline would others judge to be your priority? Which is the more important medium from your own point of view?

You needed to reconnect I believe and I believe this need took the priority.

Okay, enough amateur quackery from me (or I'll be accusing myself of having turned to woo).

I'll end with a request:

Would ya ever get up off yer ass and write your story. I'll be first in the queue to buy a copy (in Ireland that is).

Keep up the great work. And keep the faith. Faith is not woo, and faith in yourself is the reward for your own hard work, and you should be availing of it. I'm not alone (I'm fairly sure) in letting you know that I have faith in you. And there's no supernatural claim implied in that.

Many regards,
Seán.

[RSLancastr]

Has anyone here tried a Kindle, or the new "Kindle For the PC?" If so, I would be interested in opinions.

[Dunstan]

Has anyone here tried a Kindle, or the new "Kindle For the PC?" If so, I would be interested in opinions.

I briefly tried a Kindle; someone sitting next to me showed it to me. It was surprisingly readable, more than I had expected. I don't think I'm all that interested in getting one for myself, as I like the feel of a physical book, and I tend to read during meals and would be worried about spilling something on an expensive piece of hardware. But it might suit your purposes quite well.

[ExMinister]

I haven't tried one, but looking into them, I don't know if the screen lighting would be much brighter than an ordinary book. I did find this, though, through Amazon - kindle for a PC. It looks like you can download kindle books right onto your computer. That might be more what you need?

http://www.amazon.com/gp/feature.html/ref=ms_sbrspot_0?ie=UTF8&docId=1000426311&pf_rd_p=498990411&pf_rd_s=center-22&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0015T963C&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1Q795FFA1H355CMR86PP

[RSLancastr]

My booful Susan bought me a Sony e-reader for Christmas! (She showed it to me whilst reporting on her Black Friday shopping spree) Dunno when I will get to try it out, but when I do, I will report back here on the experience.

[VisionFromFeeling]

I do not know you very well, and I have not been here while you were at your best as a Forum Skeptic, but I wish you all the best and may you recover anything that was lost!

And, in case any of the mean woos' curses had anything to do with this, as some of them claim, here's one other woo who happens to be a nice one and hereby cancels any of their ill intent!

Hugs and blessings, Mr. Lancaster, whether your skepticism permits belief in those things or not.

:grouphug5

Since Locknar is the one in the middle, you can be the one on the far right. Always room for more of my favorite Skeptics.

[desertgal]

My booful Susan bought me a Sony e-reader for Christmas! (She showed it to me whilst reporting on her Black Friday shopping spree) Dunno when I will get to try it out, but when I do, I will report back here on the experience.

I have an e-reader, and I've been fairly satisfied with it. I'm a voracious reader, so it's definitely been convenient, especially since I travel a lot, and easier on my budget. I do still prefer the feel of a physical book, though.

[Caz]

I don't have an electronic book thing, but they look good...(wonders if any of my family read this... a pink one would be such a great xmas gift don't you think? wherewasI?) but if reading is a problem, get podcasts, so may good ones on itunes, it can become an addiction though.
:)

[RSLancastr]

I do not know you very well, and I have not been here while you were at your best as a Forum Skeptic, but I wish you all the best and may you recover anything that was lost!
Thanks, VFF!

And, in case any of the mean woos' curses had anything to do with this, as some of them claim, here's one other woo who happens to be a nice one and hereby cancels any of their ill intent! I appreciate that, but there is a pro-woo forum where lots of the regulars put together a prayer chain for me. So there are already good woos working to counteract the bad ones on my behalf.

Hugs and blessings, Mr. Lancaster, whether your skepticism permits belief in those things or not. I most heartily believe in hugs. As for blessings, as I said in my thread about "prayers for a skeptic", I appreciate all prayers, well-wishes, hpes and blessings for my recovery. I don't think that theyhad any effect, but they were done with the best of intentions, and I appreciate them very much. so thanks!

[CENTER]:grouphug5
Since Locknar is the one in the middle, you can be the one on the far right. Always room for more of my favorite Skeptics.[/QUOTE]

I have an e-reader, and I've been fairly satisfied with it. I'm a voracious reader, so it's definitely been convenient, especially since I travel a lot, and easier on my budget. I do still prefer the feel of a physical book, though.
thanks for the review!

[Uncayimmy]

My wife has a Kindle. She likes it so much she started a blog about it! I'm a "read it in the tub" kinda guy, so I don't have one. However, they seem very well built, and she uses it all the time. Apparently you can get free books as well.

She calls her blog Kindle Mom (http://kindlemom.blogspot.com/).

[Austin Yun]

I'll second the motion that audio books and podcasts are the (or a) way to go. I got into them out of necessity when I had a two hour bus ride twice a day to look forward to, and I get motion sick trying to read in a vehicle.

However, I no longer have that commute, but still haven't returned to reading printed text for at least 70% of my reading. Having someone read it to you is just so convenient that it blows me away, and the quality of narration in general surprised me.

Anyway, my best wishes to you regarding your recovery.