How to Deal with Those Pesky Fundies

[Arkyrion]

While I'm sure that this isn't the only method of dealing with raving fundamentalists, it does involve using the only thing on the planet that can get through their mental barriers.

I Peter 4:15 "But let none of you suffer as a murderer, or as a thief, or as an evildoer, or as a busybody in other men's matters."

'nuff said.

[Pure Argent]

Or Pure_Argent 1:1.

"Thou shalt get the **** out my grill, foo, lest I smite the on the skull with a chair."

[jasonpatterson]

I usually ask them awkward questions like, "Do you have an unmarried, unengaged daughter?" "Um, yeah." "Hey, did you know that the Bible says I can rape her, as long as I do it away from town then pay you a few hundred dollars worth of silver and marry her, isn't that great!"

Quoting unpleasant verses works well too. Like Psalms 137:9 - "Happy and blessed is he who dashes the children against the rocks."

[Marquis de Carabas]

In Texas, we have guns.

[six7s]

In Texas, we have guns.Yeah? Erm.... So do they...

www.christiangunowner.com The Christian Gun Owner (http://www.christiangunowner.com/)
WELCOME to the Christian Gun Owner web site. There is a huge American community of Christians who know that this country was founded on the principles of the Bible and under the guiding hand of an almighty God. That community believes that the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights, including the second amendment, were a result of that guidance. <snip/> The Christian gun owner that believes he/she is to be a servant to humanity but not a doormat to those who refuse to live by the rules of reasonable human behavior.

<snip/>
A mass killing in Killeen Texas started a firestorm of gun owner resolve

[Hux]

This must be a peculiarly American thing again. We so rarely get anyone coming door to door. It just not the English way and I guess there probably isn't that many JW's here (but more, I imagine than the amount that will get into heaven)

Best way to deal with them when they do come? Just direct their attention to a mound of freshly dug earth in the garden. Say "That's what happened to the last one".

[Flo]

Not many door to door salesmen preachers over here, but they tend to come on Saturdays, when everybody is busy in the gardens using blunt or otherwise dangerous instruments. Last time a JW came, I was chainsawing and chopping wood and told them I didn't think it wise bothering me given what I had in hands. They never came back ...

[Pure Argent]

This must be a peculiarly American thing again. We so rarely get anyone coming door to door. It just not the English way and I guess there probably isn't that many JW's here (but more, I imagine than the amount that will get into heaven)

Best way to deal with them when they do come? Just direct their attention to a mound of freshly dug earth in the garden. Say "That's what happened to the last one".

I've only had one JW visitation. Door-to-door preaching is extremely rare. But every Thursday and Friday here, there are fundies outside my dorm screaming JEEESUUUS!

[Hux]

You sure its not some orgy?

[maddog]

I have a JW in my class, and she is exceptionally considerate. She said that she does go door-to-door, but always asks permission before launching into her talk. And she said she asks permission to return, and will not return without permission. Based on her behavior in class, I believe her.

I'd like to think that this is true for all proselytizers, but I know better. Also, while she may be respectful of "please don't come back" personally, that doesn't mean that her entire denomination is made aware of it. Other JWs may very likely go to those homes. I doubt they have a "do not call / visit" list.

[Fnord]

I keep a copy of the AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide (2nd ed.) where I can grab it before answering the door. At most, we get two visits a year -- tolerable -- but never the same people twice.

[The Shrike]

I grew up in upstate New York, and the only time we ever encountered black people in our town was when the JW came door to door. My mom always went ballistic when they came by, which led me to believe that she was horribly racist. The last time we ever saw them, she was telling them to leave us alone while straining to hold back our extremely menacing Doberman. This was in the late '70s.

I learned recently that my mom actually doesn't hate black people (she's about as bigoted as a typical white lady in her '70s), it was the JW she detested.

Backstory: My mom had a sister who died at 16 in the '50s (brain tumor). In her last days at a hospital in another city, the JWs had visited her and told her that she was about to die and suffer eternal hell fire unless she renounced her Catholicism and "converted" to be born again in Jehovah. This was exceedingly upsetting to the young girl, raised in a strict Italian Catholic tradition, and already terrified by her imminent demise.

The moral? Fundies are dangerous. Even when these people are acting with the best of intentions, they can be startlingly cruel. Their trail of wreckage is by no means confined to abortion clinics and biology textbooks.

[Hux]

the JWs had visited her and told her that she was about to die and suffer eternal hell fire unless she renounced her Catholicism and "converted" to be born again in Jehovah.

For me thats about as evil as someone could get, without getting physical.

[HansMustermann]

Aye, it seems _incredibly_ low to essentially prey on those who are already in a lot of pain and distress.

[Beanbag]

I was testing out a new project the other day when the Jehova's Witnesses dropped by, and they promptly ran away screaming. I mean, cripes, you'd think they'd never seen a flamethrower before.

Beanbag

[CelticRose]

I never have any trouble with Jehovah's Witnesses.

I don't open my door to strangers, so the door-to-door people don't bother me. Occasionally, I get approached at a bus stop, but as soon as see the copy of The Watchtower in their hands I simply say "not interested," they wish me a nice day, I wish them one in return, and they go away -- no problem.

Once, they approached me at the same bus stop a couple of days in a row. I pointed out to them that I had already told someone the day before that I wasn't interested, and asked them to leave me alone. I never saw them at that bus stop again.

The main gripe I have about JW's is that they're litterbugs. I'm always and forever finding their publications scattered about: at bus stops, in the laundry room at my apartment complex, etc. I pick them up and put them in the trash where they belong.

[GanipGnop]

This has worked wonders for me against Jehovah's Witnesses (JW). Back in the day I had a college roommate who was shunned by his JW parents because of his fall from the church. It was really sad but he seemed OK with it anyway he ended our door to door JW problem in one visit. JW's aren't allowed to associate with apostates so all you need to do is tell them you used to be a member of the church in a different location. Be pleasant and invite them in to explain why you left (Jesus and the Trinity) and why they should too and they'll take their leave.

Here are some common reason Jehovah's Witnesses disfellowship and shun members so take your pick as the reason you left the church.

No longer claiming to be called a brother/sister.

Independent study and discussion of the Bible that brings Watchtower doctrine into question.

Possession of literature written by former members.

Having lunch with a former member, even if the former member professes to be a Christian and was not disfellowshipped for fornication, greed, idolatry, reviling, drunkenness, or extortion.

Attending a service of any other church or religious organization.

Authorizing a blood transfusion, even to save the life of a child.

[Hux]

I once had the opportunity on three occasions to ride in a taxi with a man who was an ex JW and who had become a Muslim (he was an American living in this country). I was fascinated by him and we sat in the taxi, each time, long after I reached ny destination, and just talked about his life with the witnesses and joining Islam.

I found him both personally engaging and fascinating. He told me he never really felt (as a JW) like getting out there and spreading the word. He felt he was in a kind of slavery. And to think, I would not have learned anything about him because like others, I would have given him the bum's rush at my front door.

[Darth Rotor]

Authorizing a blood transfusion, even to save the life of a child.
FWIW: http://www.jw-media.org/aboutjw/article01.htm#accept

Not sure how effective the alternatives are.

[Fizzer]

Backstory: My mom had a sister who died at 16 in the '50s (brain tumor). In her last days at a hospital in another city, the JWs had visited her and told her that she was about to die and suffer eternal hell fire unless she renounced her Catholicism and "converted" to be born again in Jehovah. This was exceedingly upsetting to the young girl, raised in a strict Italian Catholic tradition, and already terrified by her imminent demise.

You sure it was JW's? JW's don't believe in hellfire and don't use the term "born again".



It just not the English way and I guess there probably isn't that many JW's here (but more, I imagine than the amount that will get into heaven)

The vast majority of JW's have no desire to go to heaven, but are instead looking forward to life on a paradise Earth, the Eden that was originally intended to cover the world.

[bethgsd]

The problem I have with the JWs is that they can't drive. or else can't read. Every Friday in July they have a convention in my fair city and mess up the traffic for blocks around my parking deck. Many of the lots and decks have signs up with "No JW parking" and they still try and enter. And then reverse their cars into the people waiting to park.
I make a point to get to work extra early on those Fridays.

[Think_Tank]

I keep a copy of the AD&D Dungeon Master's Guide (2nd ed.) where I can grab it before answering the door. At most, we get two visits a year -- tolerable -- but never the same people twice.

I don't know if this story is true, an exaggeration or entirely apocryphal. If it's not true, it should be :D

A friend of mine told me about his mate who was a live action role-player - the type who dress up and act the part, with foam swords etc. He and his group were having a dress rehersal for the weekend meeting, when there's a knock at the door. Rather than change his clothing into something more normal, the guy answers the door in full RP costume.

Standing on the doorstep are two Jehova's Witnesses. And the guy answering the door is wearing a blood-red cultist robe, a ram's skull on his head and has a curve-bladed sacrificial dagger tucked into his belt.

After a long, awkward silence, one of the JWs whispers, "We'll try next door".




Personally, if people identify themselves as Jehova's Witnesses, I like to ask them what he's charged with :p

[metzomagic]

Personally, if people identify themselves as Jehova's Witnesses, I like to ask them what he's charged with Good one.

The only time I ever got a visit from some JWs was in Ireland around 1990 one Saturday. My girlfriend bought me a CD player in the January sales (I'd only had a turntable up till then), and I had just hooked it up and had Bon Jovi's Slippery When Wet cranked all the way up when the doorbell rang. The two of them took one look at my face and one of them said: "We'll come back another time." Never saw them again...

[Flo]

I don't know if this story is true, an exaggeration or entirely apocryphal. If it's not true, it should be :D

A friend of mine told me about his mate who was a live action role-player - the type who dress up and act the part, with foam swords etc. He and his group were having a dress rehersal for the weekend meeting, when there's a knock at the door. Rather than change his clothing into something more normal, the guy answers the door in full RP costume.

Standing on the doorstep are two Jehova's Witnesses. And the guy answering the door is wearing a blood-red cultist robe, a ram's skull on his head and has a curve-bladed sacrificial dagger tucked into his belt.

After a long, awkward silence, one of the JWs whispers, "We'll try next door".

I have two similar anecdotes:

Years ago, my father was practicing Iaido (japanese shadow fencing, with a real but dull sword) in the living room, when those two bible-bearers came at the door ... I remember an awkward silence, then "well, we don't want to disturb you any further ..." and my mother yelling "you could have put your sword aside before answering the door !".

Years later, I was having a warming up party at my new appartment and I had invited a lot of African friends (women in bright boubou, noisy children, Congolese rumba on the hifi, ...). There's a ring at the door, one of the men helping at the kitchen open and a couple of preacher start with "Can we talk to you about god ?" then stop short at the sight of a huge black man holding a chicken, a large knife and a big grin, who answers, in a deep African accent "Sorry, we don't have the time, we're in the middle of a sacrifice to the idols". I've never been bothered by religious proselytism at that place again.

[The Shrike]

You sure it was JW's? JW's don't believe in hellfire and don't use the term "born again".

The vast majority of JW's have no desire to go to heaven, but are instead looking forward to life on a paradise Earth, the Eden that was originally intended to cover the world.

My paraphrasing was based on what my mom told me she remembered from 50+ years ago, so I wouldn't read too much into the specific details. She was quite sure, however, that these people were JWs.