Why did I get such lousy Xmas presents when I behaved myself this year?

[a_unique_person]

It's just not fair. This year, I'll just be as bad as I feel like.

[Scoobmaster]

Silly Rabbit!

Don't you know that good works/deeds are not enough. You are a dirty rotten tainted human that can NEVER attain the perfection of Santa through your own works.

You need UNQUESTIONING BLIND FAITH in Santa to have his full blessings and gifts!

:D :bgrin:

[Crossbow]

Did you grease the wheels by leaving some milk and cookies out for Santa on Christmas Eve?

:p

[Samus]

a_unique_person: Why did I get such lousy Xmas presents when I behaved myself this year? It's just not fair. Because you're so anti-Bush, and he has god's blessing to do whatever the hell we wants. God and Santa are tight.

[roger]

Actually, you got some fabulous presents this year. New skis, an ATV, a 50" flat panel TV, a title to a new Jag, just to name a few. It's just that I broke into your house after Santa visited.

I find it so much easier than being good all year myself.

sorry.

[The Fool]

Originally posted by a_unique_person
It's just not fair. This year, I'll just be as bad as I feel like.
A_U_P did you actually talk to Santa? You can't complain if you didn't. I know you look silly lining up with the children at the mall but sometimes you just have to cut out the middleman and go straight to the guy in charge.
My bet is you just told your partner what you wanted and probably just assumed it would be passed on....silly boy.

[El Greco]

[a_unique_person]

I can do better than that, Mr Greco. Here is a genuine Aussie slant on it, (And I suspect Little Johnny got some of his inspiration from it). ( with appropriate edits).

Hey Santa claus you c**t!

Where's me f**king bike?

I've unwrapped all this other junk and there's nothing that I like.

I wrote you a f**king letter and I come to see you twice

Ya worn out geriatric fart, you forgot me f**king bike.

If I wanted a pair of bl**dy thongs, I'd have bl**dy asked.

And this cowboy suit and ping pong set you can shove right up your a**e!

You've st**fed me bloody order up

It's enough to make you spew

And I'm not the only one who's snakey

Me sisters dirty too!

(female voice)
Hey santa clause you c**t!

Where's me f**king pram?

You promised me you'd bring me one, you remember who I am.

'Cause I'm the little girl who you made sit right on your hand

I'll give you f**king ho ho ho

You forgot me f**king pram

(male voice)
Next time I come to see ya, I'm gonna punch you in the guts

And I'll let your f**king reihndeer go and kick Rudolf in the n**s!

You just wait 'till next year, when you go to that store

And me and me little sister, come stomping through the door

And we'll say, yeah you wait for it

Hey mums and dads you smell his breath and check his bloodshot eyes

And don't listen to him boys and girls 'cause he tells f**king lies

He's just a piss tank and a pervert, and he's not even very bright

'Cause the old f**king wanker Forgot me f**king bike.

You wait you old c**t, I'm gonna dob you in

Tell me old man on you, he's gonna punch your f**king lights out

"I saw mummy s**king santa clause"

[elliotfc]

Not totally related but.......

Do you have a child that believes in Santa Claus? Maybe he/she is a bit too old for that, and you're worried that he/she needs to know the real scoop but are afraid how to break the news?

There is a CD by a man named Joseph Spence called Living on the Hallelujah Side. One of the songs is his particular take on Santa Claus is Coming to Town. Play that song for your child and the child will not only refuse to believe in Santa Claus, but fear the idea of Santa Claus. The child might even constuct a personal taboo regarding Christmas. The song is that frightening.

-Elliot