The REAL Reason behind Bush's Moon Announcement

[shemp]

Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!! (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/bizarre/bizarre.cfm?subobjectid=42&instanceid=58987)

JUST months after liberating Iraq, President George W. Bush plans to bring freedom to another far-flung region, the moon.

High-level Pentagon sources confirm that U.S. Marines and Air Force personnel are receiving special training from NASA in preparation for a massive 1,200-man invasion of Earth's satellite set for May 2004.

"The President's position is that when we planted a flag on the lunar surface in 1969, we in effect staked a claim to the moon under every principle of international law," reveals a Defense Department insider.

"Putting a large expeditionary force on the ground will back up that claim with muscle and allow us to make the moon America's 51st state." The far-sighted move could be a brilliant coup for the commander-in-chief.

"He believes that securing the moon for the United States will cement his legacy as one of our greatest presidents, just as the Louisiana Purchase did for Thomas Jefferson," explains the source.

This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!

;)

[no one in particular]

Now wheeeere have I seen something similar to this today…? Oh, wait, here (http://host.randi.org/vbulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=33591) it is!Originally posted by Always Free

But in todays 'climate' do you think that if US is first to Mars and also returning to the moon, that they should claim them for their own territory?

Of course they would have to set up permanent military bases on them to keep other countries out. Who knows, there may be extremely valuable resources to come out of these planets. Why not lay claim to them? After all they are only land.

[Zero]

Originally posted by shemp
Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!! (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/bizarre/bizarre.cfm?subobjectid=42&instanceid=58987)



This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!

;) Hey, for all we know Saddam Hussein put all his WMDs up there!!:D

[Mr Manifesto]

Originally posted by Zero
Hey, for all we know Saddam Hussein put all his WMDs up there!!:D

He hasn't proven they aren't there. And if they're not there, where are they?

[Crossbow]

Come on Shemp and do a 'bro a favor and stop posting dull excerpts from the Weekly World News
and start posting pictures of there 'Page 5 Girls'!

Or as the French would say, "Par le vous`, Humma! Humma!".

:p

[Zero]

Originally posted by Mr Manifesto


He hasn't proven they aren't there. And if they're not there, where are they? Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence...the WMD could be on Mars, you know?

[shemp]

Originally posted by Crossbow
Come on Shemp and do a 'bro a favor and stop posting dull excerpts from the Weekly World News
and start posting pictures of there 'Page 5 Girls'!

Or as the French would say, "Par le vous`, Humma! Humma!".

:p

Sorry, that's GP's shtick.

[Mr Manifesto]

Originally posted by Zero
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence...the WMD could be on Mars, you know?

Exactly... How do we know he didn't put them on Mars? He hasn't proven that, either.

If you ask me, Saddam has a lot of explaining to do.

[subgenius]

Must be oil on the moon.

[Doubt]

Originally posted by subgenius
Must be oil on the moon.

No. Just a no bid contract to build the moon base for Halburton.

[kittynh]

Would Bush be willing to go himself?

How about Mars, is he going to go visit the astronauts there (and maybe stay?)

Please oh please oh please

[Mr Manifesto]

Originally posted by kittynh
Would Bush be willing to go himself?

How about Mars, is he going to go visit the astronauts there (and maybe stay?)

Please oh please oh please

He'll make an unannounced two-hour visit with some photo ops with a plastic turkey, but that's it I'm afraid. We could hope that his space suit springs a leak, but it seems pretty clear not much oxygen gets to his brain anyway.

[subgenius]

Don't recall him being a big fan of space exploration until the recent successes.
If I didn't know better I'd suspect some political motive.

[Evolver]

Actually,
Bush has evidence that Marty the Martian is in possession of weapons of mass destruction. The Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, to be precise. He has plans to use it to blow up the Earth, which obstructs his view of Venus. W has seen this on one of those "documentaries" he watches all day.
Marty the Martian is a tyrant and must be brought to justice whatever the cost.

[aerocontrols]

Originally posted by subgenius
Must be oil on the moon.


You guys are all way-off base.

It's not about oil, militarization, or WMD.

The simple fact is that our current Enemy #1 (http://images.google.com/images?q=french+cheese&ie=UTF-8&oe=UTF-8&hl=en) is centuries ahead of us in cheesemaking technology. Our alliance with the Italians helps somewhat, but the only way we can secure US global cheesemaking leadership is to establish a permanent base on the moon, which is, of course, made of cheese.

It is of vital strategic importance to close the Cheese Gap.

duh.

[Doubt]

Originally posted by aerocontrols


It is of vital strategic importance to close the Cheese Gap.

duh.

The "Moon first" people will protest the strip mining of cheese from the lunar surfance.

[aerocontrols]

I've laid out what I've been able to piece together from recent news events and political realignments.

Let's face it, this (http://controls.ae.gatech.edu/people/mjohnson/Fun_Stuff/why_the_moon.htm) was obviously inevitable to anyone who has read the PNAC space documents.

aerocontrols

[aerocontrols]

Originally posted by subgenius
Don't recall him being a big fan of space exploration until the recent successes.
If I didn't know better I'd suspect some political motive.

Behold the Power of Skepticism.

Trust your instincts, subby.

[phildonnia]

Ok, before we all start dissing the WWN, ask yourself, last time you were stranded in the checkout line, what bastion of journalistic integrity did you pass the time with? Cosmo? Star? The Enquirer??!

[Evolver]

Originally posted by phildonnia
Ok, before we all start dissing the WWN, ask yourself, last time you were stranded in the checkout line, what bastion of journalistic integrity did you pass the time with? Cosmo? Star? The Enquirer??!

And it's really not that much different from Fox "News".

[Ladewig]

Bush has evidence that Marty the Martian is in possession of weapons of mass destruction. The Illudium Q-38 Explosive Space Modulator, to be precise. He has plans to use it to blow up the Earth, which obstructs his view of Venus. W has seen this on one of those "documentaries" he watches all day.
Marty the Martian is a tyrant and must be brought to justice whatever the cost.

Darn you to heck. Now I have an image in my mind of GWB addressing the nation about Marty (Marvin?) and his WMD. How can I take him seriously from now on?

[Evolver]

Sorry, it IS Marvin. I'll have to watch more cartoons.

Your mistake was taking GWB seriously at all.

[Monketey Ghost]

What I don't quite get is how W thinks we're going to pay for such a thing. We're pretty well booked up, paying for his war.

The guy must think everyone else in the country is as priveleged as he is.

[rikzilla]

Originally posted by shemp
Bush's Plan to Invade the Moon!!! (http://www.weeklyworldnews.com/bizarre/bizarre.cfm?subobjectid=42&instanceid=58987)



This evil plan must be stopped at once! The moon belongs to the whole world, not just Dubya!

;)

You Earthist bastard!! The moon doesn't belong to the "world"....I belongs to the Moonies. :D

[Dorian Gray]

The moon is Bush's Kuwait to Mars' Iraq. Mars is the real target. There's already a no-fly zone there, and even western European craft can't fly there.

[Tesserat]

Bush's reasoning

Hmmmm... 300 million people, if we all give $1000, that's, uh

(pulls out calculator, stares at it in confusion, calls secretary)

"what's 300 million times 1000?"

"three hundred billion, sir"

Dubya:

That's gotta be enough. $1000 apiece? Heck, I can afford that.