Copper bracelets for my computer?

[jimmygun]

I just had a computer geek come to my home to charge me $35 and explain to me that I was pretty stupid about computers. Mine had been down for the past two weeks.

To save myself from further embarassment I wonder if anyone out there can direct me to a site where I might find some super-natural-computer-amulet that will keep virus and worm dangers at bay?

If nothing of this sort exists then why can't we invent (I mean discover) such a godsend?

[RCNelson]

jimmygun:
If nothing of this sort exists then why can't we invent (I mean discover) such a godsend? Because the placebo effect doesn't work for computers.

[zakur]

Originally posted by jimmygun
To save myself from further embarassment I wonder if anyone out there can direct me to a site where I might find some super-natural-computer-amulet that will keep virus and worm dangers at bay? Here are some tips for the cybersavvy coven, as published in the spring 2003 edition of New Witch magazine: http://www.popsci.com/popsci/computers/article/0,12543,464015,00.html

[Demigorgon]

I'm speechless at that link Zakur.

[NoZed Avenger]

Get a standard copper bracelet and just toss it in the case and power 'er up!

What's the worst that could happen?!

[jimmygun]

RCNelson...Of course the computer can't experience the placebo effect but the user can.

"I attached this magnetic/copper/crystal/resonator to the infeed line of my computer and now I have less spam, fewer pop-ups and less problems with viruses. And it only costs 4 easy payments of $39.95!"

I hate to say these things out loud but it will only be a matter of time before someone does offer their amazing discovery for sale on the net.

[Wudang]

Actually. I've followed some of the advice of that website in the past. I've talked to my computer and called it names. I've clapped my hands right on the computer, never mind close to to it.

[wayrad]

Try waving a credit card while reciting the twin mantras "Antivirus" and "Firewall". :D

[RCNelson]

jimmygun:
RCNelson...Of course the computer can't experience the placebo effect but the user can.
. . . .
I hate to say these things out loud but it will only be a matter of time before someone does offer their amazing discovery for sale on the net.
Unfortunately, you're probably right. Especially for aspects of the computer most susceptible to subjective evaluation like the computer's monitor or sound.

I can just see it now:
Buy this magic magnetic quantum vibrational gizmo to put around the computer's video cable, and all the colors will be more vibrant and images will download and display faster in Internet Explorer. Only $59.95

[Soapy Sam]

It's true, actually. I replaced my RJ45 plug with a quartz crystal last month. I've had no spam since.

Or mail, oddly enough.

[Ed]

Originally posted by NoZed Avenger
Get a standard copper bracelet and just toss it in the case and power 'er up!

What's the worst that could happen?! http://www.hash.com/users/weevil/images/mushroom.jpg

[Dragonrock]

Nice Ed, did you have microwave burritos for lunch again?

[patnray]

jimmygun and RCNelson, you beat me to it! Of course to work correctly these copper/crystal gizmos must be placed around every cable that conects to the PC. Mine has 9 connections (keyboard, monitor, power, speakers, microphone, network, TV cable, USB printer, serial printer). At $35 each I could protect my PC for only $315....

[Powa]

From my experience the tool below is THE best spam eliminator and firewall there is. Just apply it to your internet cable and you're safe from all the internet annoyances (viruses, trojans, hijackers, spam...).

[Powa]

Where's my attachment?

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Powa
Where's my attachment?

Sorry, I ate it, I missed lunch.

[Powa]

Well, ok. But now my post isn't funny.
:hb:

[NoZed Avenger]

Originally posted by Powa
Well, ok. But now my post isn't funny.


You get used to it -- trust me.

[Ed]

Originally posted by Powa
Well, ok. But now my post isn't funny.
:hb:

Refer back to my mushroom cloud.

No thanks necessary.:D

[tracer]

Originally posted by jimmygun
"I attached this magnetic/copper/crystal/resonator to the infeed line of my computer and now I have less spam, fewer pop-ups and less problems with viruses. And it only costs 4 easy payments of $39.95!"
If you attach a magnetic anything that close to your computer, you may very well end up spam-free just like Soapy Sam.

[Soapy Sam]

I have some magnetic bracelets for sale as it happens. Only $99.99 each. Guarantees to stop spam, increase hard drive lifetime, cure arthritis and format floppies.

E-mail for my catalog.

Oh.Drat.

[jimmygun]

Soapy Sam...but will they rewind my CD's for me?

[Bottle or the Gun]

What would you need a copper braclet on a computer for? Mine has never crashed. But that is only because I had the foresight to buy one with a Liquid CRYSTAL Display. Not only does my laptop self-repair, it also sharpens razor blades and retards bacterial growth in milk and swimming pools!

[!Xx+-Rational-+xX!]

The deeper a skeptic gets into materialism the further that skeptic proceeds along the righteous path of factual truth!

Believers let us skeptics free you from the bondages of irrationality stemming from fallacious deceitful beliefs!

[Darwin'sGoat]

Originally posted by Powa
Where's my attachment?

You forgot to clap your hands and say nice things to your 'vaettir'.

Tsk tsk.

[Powa]

Originally posted by Darwin'sGoat
You forgot to clap your hands and say nice things to your 'vaettir'.

DOH! I always forget that.

[bjornart]

This ought to do the trick:

Exorcise your demons of stupidity (http://www.dilbert.com/comics/dilbert/desktop_diversions/html/wallpaper.html)