Atheists how do you respond when someone says "I feel sorry for you"?

[Cainkane1]

I was enjoying my beer in a bar when a young girl sat beside me and asked what my religion was. I said I have no religion. She said "Oh you mean you have no sect"? I said I have no religion because no God exists. She appeared shocked and at last she told me she felt sorry for me. She told that without Jesus I was lost. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I said "I feel sorry for you because you believe in woo woo nonsense. She got mad and left.

Could this situation have been handled any better?

[Ron_Tomkins]

You could have just lied, gotten her phone number and nailed her. So yes, I guess it could have been handled better ;)

[Ducky]

My general response to "I feel sorry for you" is something along the lines of "Well isn't that condescending and ethnocentric. Thank you."

[Blackadder]

That scenario has never happened in my life.

I conclude that I must now go

a) hang out in bars drinking beer more often and
b) meet young girls

[Aepervius]

I usually laugh at them heartily, swipe tears from my eye, and ask them, "no really ?". Unless they are a very hot girl, in which case I outright lie, and tell I am christian but non practicing.

[Pure Argent]

I generally say "I feel sorry for you. Also, if you try and convert me I will punch you in the face."

[Marquis de Carabas]

The correct response is, "And I feel Sorry for you. I named my penis 'Sorry', by the way."

[Kel]

"Don't."

[Fiona]

Thank them and change the subject?

[Hokulele]

Give her a hopeful look and say, "If you really felt sorry for me, you would pay for my beer."

[Ron_Tomkins]

Now that's mastering the art of oratory!

[Beerina]

Never happened to me, yet. And god help them if it does*, because I'll have them in tears at the idea of worshipping and praising a god who lets babies be raped to death.



* Unless she's cute.

[KingMerv00]

I would probably ask "Why?" and try to get her talking. I enjoy philosophical conversation. Maybe she would learn something about atheists.

[Eyeron]

One time I actually said to a cute girl "If you really wanted to convert me you'd have sex with me." I then got into a fist fight with her boyfriend over it a couple of days later. I was 17 at the time. She was 18. But I get this kind of condescending to outright being insulted by these retards for not believing in God regardless of how much tact I use. And I've gotten it all my life.

And it's funny, because I believe that Jesus would never act this way if I told him that I was an atheist. considering that he would often be friends with the lowest common denominators of society, the rejects and social pariahs, just to be their friends, this kind of behavior says a lot about his own followers.

[Cainkane1]

I would probably ask "Why?" and try to get her talking. I enjoy philosophical conversation. Maybe she would learn something about atheists.
Actually there was more to the conversation than I posted. Her philosophy was that without Jesus I was nothing. Jews, muslims, hindues were lost for the same reason and that she felt sorry for them as well. It was aggravating and I told her to quit being such a religious biggot. Thats actually when she got mad and left.

She was pretty but I was glad to be rid of her. I was too old for her anyway.

[TimCallahan]

You could ask such a person how God, if he exists and has the power to intervene, doesn't prevent such things as the killer tsunami that killed hundreds of thousands of people or the recent earthquake in Haiti. Such people might have a set of glib answers, but you can pursue those those and tear them apart. In any case, they would be on the defensive.

This whole thing sort of reminds me of Daniel Dennet's concept of "the belief in the belief in God," where people don't really believe but feel that society will fall apart if the masses don't believe. Thus, they are shocked and disturbed by anyone saying openly that they're atheist. The first time I came across this situation personally was when I shared some of my skepticism with one of my brothers. He asked me, "Well, you're a Christian aren't you?" He was rather shocked when I said no, I wasn't. Now the odd thing about this is that neither he nor I go to and church. He doesn't say a blessing before dining and he doesn't celebrate such holidays as Christmas and Easter in any religious fashion. He is, in a word, totally secular.

Odds are that most people who are shocked that you're an atheist or who feel sorry for you are likewise secular believers in something vaguely Christian, that being the default religion in Western Civilization.

On a similar note, I have an idea for situations in which someone comes up and asks you if you're saved, though I haven't had the chutzpah to use it yet: You heartily slap them on the back - possibly knocking the wind out of them - and genially bellow, "Brother, I have not only been saved, I have been INVESTED!" Then you quickly walk away from them before they can recover and ask what you mean.

[steve s]

She told that without Jesus I was lost.

And so is she until she gives away all her possessions. Jesus said so.

Luke 14:33
So then, none of you can be My disciple who does not give up all his own possessions.

Steve S.

[whatthebutlersaw]

"Sooo, will there be a pity-f<pausemusic: The Carpenters - We've only just begun>"

[GreyICE]

I was enjoying my beer in a bar when a young girl sat beside me and asked what my religion was. I said I have no religion. She said "Oh you mean you have no sect"? I said I have no religion because no God exists. She appeared shocked and at last she told me she felt sorry for me. She told that without Jesus I was lost. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I said "I feel sorry for you because you believe in woo woo nonsense. She got mad and left.

Could this situation have been handled any better?

Yes, it could have.

You really need to find better bars.

[Lanzy]

I've been told they would pray for me but never they felt sorry for me, probably just jealous because my Sunday's are my own.:D

[coldcanuk]

You could have just lied, gotten her phone number and nailed her. So yes, I guess it could have been handled better ;)

Agreed! If she sat beside you and opened the conversation, you should have transformed into non-sect, non-affiliated, lover and true believer of <insert whatever god here>

After all, the creature that is most adaptable is going to survive.

In this case, you can morph into whatever in order to accomplish your end goals. Yes, there is a moral argument, lying is bad and Marcu Aurelius might shake his finger at you, but then again, Nietchze would say something to effect of "blah blah blah, social control, blah blah blah, beyond good and evil, blah blah blah".

I prefer diplomacy in a conversation, rather then rooted in one idea. I may have handled the situation differently, and attempted to open a debate between organized religion and one true creator... lets say religion vs spirituality.:cool:

[KingMerv00]

Agreed! If she sat beside you and opened the conversation, you should have transformed into non-sect, non-affiliated, lover and true believer of <insert whatever god here>

After all, the creature that is most adaptable is going to survive.

In this case, you can morph into whatever in order to accomplish your end goals. Yes, there is a moral argument, lying is bad and Marcu Aurelius might shake his finger at you, but then again, Nietchze would say something to effect of "blah blah blah, social control, blah blah blah, beyond good and evil, blah blah blah".

I prefer diplomacy in a conversation, rather then rooted in one idea. I may have handled the situation differently, and attempted to open a debate between organized religion and one true creator... lets say religion vs spirituality.:cool:

I would have told the truth because it is too much of a bother to fake it and odds are I'd find her more interesting in a debate than in a Christian sing-a-long.

Oh yes, and I would feel bad to lie.

[uruk]

~snip~ She told that without Jesus I was lost. ~snip~

That's why I always keep a Tom Tom handy.

[RenaissanceBiker]

When someone asks me about religion I reply, "I'm not superstitious." When asked for clarification I tell them that religions are just cultural superstitions. I tell them I respect their right to believe what they want, as long as they afford me the right. You should have finished with, "I think a little understanding and tolerance is good for people of diverse backgrounds and beliefs, especially those who want to get laid."

[Cainkane1]

Give her a hopeful look and say, "If you really felt sorry for me, you would pay for my beer."
I like this the best.

[fls]

"Really? What an odd thing to say."

Linda

[Tormac]

Give her a hopeful look and say, "If you really felt sorry for me, you would pay for my beer."

The thread should have stopped here.

[vIQleS]

You could have just lied, gotten her phone number and nailed her. So yes, I guess it could have been handled better ;)

QFT

She was pretty but I was glad to be rid of her. I was too old for her anyway.

??

I have no idea what this means... Was she of legal age?

How old could you possibly be?

:confused:

[roger]

"Don't. Being atheist means guiltless masturbation!"

(hi yrreg)

[Tricky]

"I feel the same way about my GPS"

[CurtC]

Actually there was more to the conversation than I posted. Her philosophy was that without Jesus I was nothing. Jews, muslims, hindues were lost for the same reason and that she felt sorry for them as well. It was aggravating and I told her to quit being such a religious biggot. Thats actually when she got mad and left.

It did sound like you have a chip on your shoulder. Assuming you wanted to chat her up some more (hey, even us old guys like attention from sweet young things), ask her whether she would tell a Jew that she felt sorry for him, or a Hindu. Does she really go around saying that to everyone she meets who isn't a Christian?

And I'm a pretty happy guy, and so are most atheists that I know. In fact, it's pretty much universal that when someone finally admits to himself that he no longer believes, we all get a feeling of freedom and relief.

If she's sad because you're going to hell, ask her whether God acts morally, and when she says yes, ask her if it's the morally right thing to do to send you to hell, to punish you forever, for looking at the evidence and not being convinced. Would she choose to send you to hell if it were up to her? If not, she's more moral than God!

Etc. etc. etc.

[mist]

Thank them and change the subject?

That's probably what I'd do too.

However, if your goal is to try to make her an Atheist, I'd try to say something like "I currently don't believe in any god, but I'm following my own path" and try to list the positive aspects of Atheism that Christianity doesn't have. Tell her that it's really really hard to ask questions, doubt your leaders, and follow your own path, so if she can't do that you understand. But there is an awesome opportunity for her to grow. :)

[Eyeron]

Just tell her atheism is better than sex.

[Maia]

This comes up CONSTANTLY in the South. I just say I'm a Unitarian. Most people don't know what it means, but it sounds official. (Mostly, it seems to mean "vague random things you sort of believe in, gathered together in a Frank Lloyd Wright-ish building, but the hymns really, really suck.)

ETA: Eyeron... I don't even want to know. ;)

[coldcanuk]

I would have told the truth because it is too much of a bother to fake it and odds are I'd find her more interesting in a debate than in a Christian sing-a-long.

Oh yes, and I would feel bad to lie.

I guess it boils down to, what was/is Cainkane1's goal?
Was he at the bar to
a) get laid after enjoying his beer
or
b) to simply enjoy his beer in peace

If the answer is b, then his to be truthful and maintain the high morale ground was the best one. He got rid of the annoying mosquito and enjoyed his beverage.
if the answer is a, then I say, don't feel bad, drink more :D :D (Ayn Rand, virtue of selfishness)

The fun part about social critique and/or philosophy is that there are plenty of dead authors who have written something to support your theory :cool: :)

[joobz]

"Maybe you could help me find Jesus? I could find Jesus all night long...."

"Really? Wow. thank you! You've convinced me. Jesus is Lord. Now I too can be a self-righteous twit."

[linusrichard]

I guess my response would depend on my mood. Some days I might get pretty angry, but most of the time I think I'd be okay with someone feeling sorry for me. Their choice, no skin off my nose.

I've never gotten that, but I used to get a lot of "Aren't you scared?" No, I'm not.

[Achán hiNidráne]

Not as sorry as you're going to feel if you don't shut the :rule10 up.

[Gate2501]

I love getting into conversations of this kind with complete strangers, it is always good for a laugh(after the fact) at the very least. Sometimes you can even show the more nutty religious folk that atheists actually aren't the fire breathing hellspawn they'd like them to be. They always seem shocked that I am polite, and well-spoken. I normally just answer their questions, point out the errors in their logic, and thank them for the conversation when they are finished with me.

Better than drinking alone eh?

[Huh-What?]

That scenario has never happened in my life.

I conclude that I must now go

a) hang out in bars drinking beer more often and
b) meet young girls

I highly recommend it. Of course my wife highly discourages it.

[MattusMaximus]

I've gotten this before, and I usually tailor my response to the person and situation. I've done everything from very respectful argumentation (as KingMerv has said) to downright nasty comments (such as: "I'm sorry you have to believe in imaginary friends to make it through the day.") A lot depends on how they started the conversation with me.

[CORed]

On a similar note, I have an idea for situations in which someone comes up and asks you if you're saved, though I haven't had the chutzpah to use it yet: You heartily slap them on the back - possibly knocking the wind out of them - and genially bellow, "Brother, I have not only been saved, I have been INVESTED!" Then you quickly walk away from them before they can recover and ask what you mean.

A Jewish friend of mine used to say "Jesus saves, but Moses invests."

[Kopji]

I don't ever hear this. Maybe I scare people. :)

A bar seems like an unusual choice for some proselytizing though. I mean, I could see her going in with a handful of those tracts that look exactly like a $20 bill on one side and have some lame guilt inducing scripture on the other like - "where your treasure is there will your heart be also". Probably leave them around as tips.

Hard for me to take a Christian too seriously while she's sipping on her Mojito in the next stool. Jes sayin.

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

Well, I can't speak for other Christian religions but Roman Catholicism doesn't ban alcohol (at least according to the priest who taught me in CCD). As long as it is not to the point of serious intoxication, Catholics are allowed to drink (according to Father Christopher, anyway).

So as long as she didn't fall off the bar stool after more than a Mojito, she wasn't being a hypocrite (if she was Catholic.)

[The Fallen Serpent]

Many, maybe even most Christian sects are fine with alcohol. Some specific churches are heavily against it though.

[willhaven]

Wow, you get approached by religious folk at the bars a lot don't you?

Ever hear any more about the guy that offed himself?

[thatguywhojuggles]

Many, maybe even most Christian sects are fine with alcohol. Some specific churches are heavily against it though.

My family is very religious. Once I was talking to my family about an experience I had at a bar while I was having a beer with my friends. My young niece came up to me, a little shocked, and said, "You drank beer?" I then told her, "There's nothing wrong with drinking beer. Jesus drank too. He drank wine." Perplexed, she thought about it for a couple of seconds and then with a smile shot back, "Maybe he was drinking non-alcoholic wine.

[The Fallen Serpent]

My family is very religious. Once I was talking to my family about an experience I had at a bar while I was having a beer with my friends. My young niece came up to me, a little shocked, and said, "You drank beer?" I then told her, "There's nothing wrong with drinking beer. Jesus drank too. He drank wine." Perplexed, she thought about it for a couple of seconds and then with a smile shot back, "Maybe he was drinking non-alcoholic wine.

Ah, from a child this is cute. This would be an annoying answer from an adult. Some of the churches I belonged to growing up served beer at family events like picnics and potlucks. I have also seen ministers in bars. It is Islam that forbids alcohol, to varying degrees of success and loop holes, but otherwise alcohol tends to be an important part of many faiths. Ones that teach ascetic principles of course go the other way either for the clergy or the entire flock.

[Smiledriver]

I might say something like "oh please don't, I'm a very happy guy." Then I'd do my best to convert her and by convert I mean...well you get where I'm going with this.

[learner]

I visit my freind in Turkey regularly. He has a restaurant and employs about ten staff. During breakfast with him and his staff one morning I was asked by one of them how often did I go to church? (He assumed that me being English I was therefore a Christian) When I explained to him (all the other staff listening intently, much translation going on) that I was still an atheist, and that I had never gone through any kind of indoctrination so didnt go to church and was quite happy with that, everything went quiet. After a few moments deliberation amongst them it was decided that there was something wrong with me and England had somehow let me down.
None of this however changed how friendly and helpful they are to me. Lovely people.

[slingblade]

My response would probably be something along the lines of, "Well, now we're even."

[Cainkane1]

I don't ever hear this. Maybe I scare people. :)

A bar seems like an unusual choice for some proselytizing though. I mean, I could see her going in with a handful of those tracts that look exactly like a $20 bill on one side and have some lame guilt inducing scripture on the other like - "where your treasure is there will your heart be also". Probably leave them around as tips.

Hard for me to take a Christian too seriously while she's sipping on her Mojito in the next stool. Jes sayin.
Baptists do it all the time. They go into a bar and try to save as many souls as they can. Thats what the young girl was doing.

[John Jones]

"Likewise, I'm sure."

[John Jones]

Many, maybe even most Christian sects are fine with alcohol. Some specific churches are heavily against it though.

Southern Baptists. The largest protestant denomination in the US, IIRC.

[Towlie]

I was enjoying my beer in a bar when a young girl sat beside me and asked what my religion was.The correct way to handle this is to say "I'm sorry, we're not allowed to discuss our religious beliefs with outsiders, else we condemn our souls to eternal damnation." Then adopt a wide-eyed look of terror and slap your hand over your mouth.

[MattusMaximus]

Many, maybe even most Christian sects are fine with alcohol. Some specific churches are heavily against it though.

Reminds me of a joke from my days living in south-central KY...

Jews don't recognize the divinity of Christ.
Protestants don't recognize the authority of the Pope.
And Southern Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store, titty bar, or porno shop.

Thank you! I'm here all night :D

[Ron_Tomkins]

You know who I feel sorry for? Fred Phelps.

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

Reminds me of a joke from my days living in south-central KY...

Jews don't recognize the divinity of Christ.
Protestants don't recognize the authority of the Pope.
And Southern Baptists don't recognize each other in the liquor store, titty bar, or porno shop.

Thank you! I'm here all night :D

How do you recognize Baptists from Methodists?

Methodists wave to each other in the liquor store.


Why should you take two Baptists on a fishing trip?

You take one, he'll drink all your beer. You take two, neither of them will even touch it in front of each other.

[GanipGnop]

You should have told her the last time a man listened to a woman Gaud cast them out of Eden. I'd let her know that her sorrow as a woman under Christ means less than nothing to Gaud since it is coming from a woman. Then I'd tell her that she's a vile sinner for thinking she has the right to lecture a man on religion.

Timothy 2:11-12
"Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence."

Then I'd give her a little Malachi curse for good measure just because it sounds cool and it's the word of GAUD.

Mal 2:3
"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces, even the dung of your solemn feasts; and one shall take you away with it. (I like holding this passage up at football games)

If she's a real Xtian agreeing with her isn't going to get you laid regardless of your age unless you want to agree with her until you're married.

[Towlie]

"Gaud"? :confused:

[Aepervius]

If she's a real Xtian agreeing with her isn't going to get you laid regardless of your age unless you want to agree with her until you're married.

My life experience is limited to a few sample, but anecdotally I never met a catholic girl which would *pretend* to wait until marriage. Does that even exists except as a caricature ? I can't talk about the other Christian sect.

And a bit less anecdotal, here is a statistic I found on Brazil (which unless I am mistaken is predominately catholic):

"In practice, 78% of Brazilian men and 57% of women had sex before marriage"

Considering wiki seem to indicate around 75% catholic people(ETA : in Brazil !)...

[Hux]

Ive never had anyone say they felt sorry for me, at least not in the sense because i was an atheist. if they did, I'd laugh in their face. its not likely to be a reasonable person that would say it anyway.

[MetalPig]

at last she told me she felt sorry for me.
A couple of years ago a coworker told me and another atheist coworker that he felt sorry for us, because we didn't experience the joy of knowing God. (Paraphrasing; don't remember the exact words.)
We rolled eyes and told him we were quite happy as we were, thankyouverymuch.

A few months later he killed himself, and we're still here.

[Lanzy]

"Gaud"? :confused:

That's the way I heard it growing up.

[TimCallahan]

Many, maybe even most Christian sects are fine with alcohol. Some specific churches are heavily against it though.

This reminds me of a joke a Mormon friend once told me. He said, "If you go fishing and have Mormons along, always take at least two. Because if you only have one Momon with you he'll drink all your beer."

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

This reminds me of a joke a Mormon friend once told me. He said, "If you go fishing and have Mormons along, always take at least two. Because if you only have one Momon with you he'll drink all your beer."

Joke thief!

[Skeptic]

My general response to "I feel sorry for you" is something along the lines of "Well isn't that condescending and ethnocentric. Thank you."

Condescending - yes, ethnocentric?

[Skeptic]

As usual, the Onion has its own views (http://www.theonion.com/content/node/27594)...

[Soapy Sam]

Anyone who wishes to feel sorry for me is welcome to try.
If it's a pretty young girl, she's apt to feel sorrier in a minute, when I start crying down her neckline and feeling her bottom while begging her to save me. God, I LOVE being a dirty old man, it's the only thing worth getting old for.
If it's a bloke, he can take his sympathy and shove it.

[bobcarp]

Of course you feel sorry for me. Religious belief is based on emotion, and feeling sorry for me is your emotional substitute for providing actual, logical and intelligent proof that the invisible, magical god that you believe is true.

[Hux]

I don't care if anyone says they 'feel sorry for me' but I would prefer the money.

[TimCallahan]

My family is very religious. Once I was talking to my family about an experience I had at a bar while I was having a beer with my friends. My young niece came up to me, a little shocked, and said, "You drank beer?" I then told her, "There's nothing wrong with drinking beer. Jesus drank too. He drank wine." Perplexed, she thought about it for a couple of seconds and then with a smile shot back, "Maybe he was drinking non-alcoholic wine.

Well, no, Jesus and company were drinking the hard stuff. After Jesus has turned water into wine at the wedding feast in Cana, John 2:9, 10 (Revised Standard Version) say:

When the steward of the feast tasted the water now become wine, and did not know where it came from (though the servants who had drawn the water knew), the steward of the feast called the bridegroom and said to him, "Every mn serves the good wine first; and when men have drunk freely, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."

The highlighted phrase "drunk freely" is translated in the King James Version (KJV) as "well drunk." The Greek word so variously translated is methuo, which means to get drunk. So a less bowdlerized translation of what the steward of the feast said would be, "Every mn serves the good wine first; and when men have gotten drunk, then the poor wine; but you have kept the good wine until now."

So they were drinking wine and getting drunk. It was, according to the gospel of John, the hard stuff.

[godless dave]

I would have told the truth because it is too much of a bother to fake it and odds are I'd find her more interesting in a debate than in a Christian sing-a-long.

Oh yes, and I would feel bad to lie.

This. Plus there are lots of attractive women. Be at least a little picky.

But I'm pretty sure the other posters were joking.

[sgtbaker]

Ive never had anyone say they felt sorry for me, at least not in the sense because i was an atheist. if they did, I'd laugh in their face. its not likely to be a reasonable person that would say it anyway.

I've never had anyone say they were sorry for me, either. I did have a Christian friend tell me that he was scared for my immortal soul and that he would pray for me, to which I replied, "Thank you, that is really sweet." No confrontation, no arguments, he respected my view and I respected his.

[Towlie]

I did have a Christian friend tell me that he was scared for my immortal soul and that he would pray for me, to which I replied, "Thank you, that is really sweet." No confrontation, no arguments, he respected my view and I respected his.Long ago a friend of mine said something so elegantly simple that it stayed with me for decades: "If there's a God, and he can't make me aware of his existence, how can he punish me for his own shortcomings?"

[MetalSeagull]

This comes up CONSTANTLY in the South. I just say I'm a Unitarian. Most people don't know what it means, but it sounds official. (Mostly, it seems to mean "vague random things you sort of believe in, gathered together in a Frank Lloyd Wright-ish building, but the hymns really, really suck.)



We attended a UU church for a while. My husband would tell anyone who asked that we were Unitarian. More than one person told him we had to switch, because that was the devil's church.

I love the assumption that we had somehow been fooled into attending.

[blobru]

I'm lucky.


Most people feel sorry for me long before the subject gets 'round to my atheism.

[Mark6]

You know who I feel sorry for? Fred Phelps.
I don't. In fact, I would not feel sorry for him if he got AIDS.

I do not believe all cultures are valuable, nor all individuals.

[Verklagekasper]

She told that without Jesus I was lost. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I said "I feel sorry for you because you believe in woo woo nonsense. She got mad and left.

Could this situation have been handled any better?
You should have said that you don't need Jesus' help cause you're already praying to Satan.

[Towlie]

You should have said that you don't need Jesus' help cause you're already praying to Satan.Sometimes I wish we could downvote posts like you can on Digg and Reddit.

[Verklagekasper]

Sometimes I wish we could downvote posts like you can on Digg and Reddit.
Why? It's an insult when people express their "pity" for others not believing in their god. So I'd pay back, saying you'd already pray to Quetzalcoatl, Satan or whatever.

[Towlie]

Why? It's an insult when people express their "pity" for others not believing in their god. So I'd pay back, saying you'd already pray to Quetzalcoatl, Satan or whatever.How about the Flying Spaghetti Monster instead? That's what he was invented for. At least then your sarcasm would be evident.

If you're arguing as an atheist, you won't accomplish anything positive by spreading the notion that atheists worship the Devil.

[Hokulele]

If you're arguing as an atheist, you won't accomplish anything positive by spreading the notion that atheists worship the Devil.


We don't? Crap, I knew I was doing something wrong...

[Towlie]

... and stop eating those babies too.

[kedo1981]

I hope I would say:
Really, what a coincidence, because that’s the way I feel about Christians.
(Christian gives look of “shock, puzzlement, anger”)
Because your belief system tells you that almost every person who has ever lived will be tormented in hell for a billion billion billion years. And you will know that they are being tormented not for some crime they have committed but for the fact that they did not have a thought (faith), that you had.
(Christian starts to mutter)
I ask them.
How will you feel when you’re Grandpa, the one that was so funny and taught you hunt and took you to ball games and let you drive his tractor when your mom said no, has been in Hell for a hundred billion years? And the reason he is in hell isn’t because he was bad, it’s because he didn’t have the right kind of faith, he went to church, he knew his bible, but “Not all that speak my name will be with me in the kingdom of heaven: Jesus”; but just not faith in Gods eyes .
How will you feel if you get your heavenly mansion and it’s next door to a guy that was a child rapist but in the last moments of his life accepted Christ, and there’s old Grandpa cooking in the barbeque of hell.
(Christian says, but,but,but)
I say
Will you be so cold as to not feel sad, in a billion years, will you start to wonder if maybe the damned should not be given a second chance? And will this be in defiance of God’s will, getting you cast out of heaven?

[Verklagekasper]

How about the Flying Spaghetti Monster instead? That's what he was invented for. At least then your sarcasm would be evident.

If you're arguing as an atheist, you won't accomplish anything positive by spreading the notion that atheists worship the Devil.
Well, I stopped arguing as an atheist about 20 years ago. Now I simply don't care. But I will consider praising the Spaghetti Monster more, though I think it doesn't quite have the shock value.

[Tamarillicent]

I hope I would say:
Really, what a coincidence, because that’s the way I feel about Christians.
(Christian gives look of “shock, puzzlement, anger”)
Because your belief system tells you that almost every person who has ever lived will be tormented in hell for a billion billion billion years. And you will know that they are being tormented not for some crime they have committed but for the fact that they did not have a thought (faith), that you had.
(Christian starts to mutter)
I ask them.
How will you feel when you’re Grandpa, the one that was so funny and taught you hunt and took you to ball games and let you drive his tractor when your mom said no, has been in Hell for a hundred billion years? And the reason he is in hell isn’t because he was bad, it’s because he didn’t have the right kind of faith, he went to church, he knew his bible, but “Not all that speak my name will be with me in the kingdom of heaven: Jesus”; but just not faith in Gods eyes.

I would love to see this whole post done up in the style of a chick tract. I would spend an afternoon passing them out at the ferry station. I'd stand right next to the Jehova Witnesses.

[kedo1981]

You know “Tama” it’s funny you should mention that.
I’ve toyed with the concept of a graphic novel that chronicles the lives of beings in heaven.
And I see them as kind “Chick Track-ish”
Rage in Heaven
About an average Joe blow fundy who begins to contemplate being in paradise while his wife and children and everybody he ever knew is in hell and how it becomes a hell of it’s own.

[RayG]

She told that without Jesus I was lost.

Tell her your cell phone has GPS... even better, tell her you use Google Earth/Maps, so you always know where you are.

RayG

[Magyar]

“Not all that speak my name will be with me in the kingdom of heaven: Jesus”; but just not faith in Gods eyes .
I don't know this one, what verrs is it, but it seems like an easily explainable
one with the false prophet bit.

[Puppycow]

That scenario has never happened in my life.

I conclude that I must now go

a) hang out in bars drinking beer more often and
b) meet young girls

Well if the first thing out of her mouth is to ask you about your religion, I wonder if it isn't just an attempt at proselytization. I suppose anything that's going to be a dealbreaker is good to get out of the way early though.

[Puppycow]

I suppose if a clever, witty atheist (which is not me) were in that situation they might be able to use it as an opportunity to plant a seed of doubt in the person's mind in a friendly way. If you get defensive and snap back, however, it won't work.

[vIQleS]

I would love to see this whole post done up in the style of a chick tract. I would spend an afternoon passing them out at the ferry station. I'd stand right next to the Jehova Witnesses.

Seems to be my day for pimping Normal Bob smith...

http://www.normalbobsmith.com/free/flyers/hia.html

[barrymore]

I suppose if a clever, witty atheist (which is not me) were in that situation they might be able to use it as an opportunity to plant a seed of doubt in the person's mind in a friendly way. If you get defensive and snap back, however, it won't work.

Exactly. Here is their thought process behind even saying such a thing:
"I will tell him I am sorry, to spark an adverse reaction."
"If he has an adverse reaction, its because he knows he is wrong!"
"If he is wrong: a.) it means I am right!, and b.) he will come over to my side."

Of course, calling them a blubbering idiot is the farthest thing from admitting the validity of their claim (not that it matters anyways), but they do not care. I think the best thing to do is just say nothing, otherwise you are likely doing them a favor.

[MontagK505]

A couple of years ago a coworker told me and another atheist coworker that he felt sorry for us, because we didn't experience the joy of knowing God. (Paraphrasing; don't remember the exact words.)
We rolled eyes and told him we were quite happy as we were, thankyouverymuch.

A few months later he killed himself, and we're still here.

Sad.

Perhaps he was tired of waiting.

Catholics regard killing yourself as a deadly sin because you can't go to confession afterward.

[Towlie]

Catholics regard killing yourself as a deadly sin because you can't go to confession afterward.That's interesting. I wonder if there's a market for a time-release poison pill for suicidal Catholics. :D

[shandyjan]

This may sound really odd, but of all the people I know, I could not tell you of more than a quarter of them believed in any religion! It just does not enter into conversation most of the time! I cannot even tell yu if some of my closest friends believe, because the subject has never come up!
Is that a good thing?

[barrymore]

This may sound really odd, but of all the people I know, I could not tell you of more than a quarter of them believed in any religion! It just does not enter into conversation most of the time! I cannot even tell yu if some of my closest friends believe, because the subject has never come up!
Is that a good thing?

Yes. I think a healthy debate among friends is one of the best things there is! But when it comes to religion (and sometimes politics) healthy debates are hard to come by. Probably just better off not discussing it unless it comes up naturally.

[MetalPig]

Sad.

Perhaps he was tired of waiting.

Catholics regard killing yourself as a deadly sin because you can't go to confession afterward.
He wasn't catholic*, but they read a bit from his suicide note at the funeral. We got the impression that he believed he wouldn't get into heaven because of the suicide, because he was begging God to let him in anyway. "You know I always tried my best."
We don't know what he tried and failed at, but we think it's about being a good husband and father.

* The translation of the Dutch "gereformeerd" would be "reformed". Does that make sense?

[devnull]

I can't really post my typical response here, but it would end with something like "....with a rusty railroad spike!"

[Skeptic]

I feel sorry for Fred Phelps.

I dunno. He probably is the man with the largest hidden stash of gay porn in the universe, which means he has some achievements, at least.

[skeptiform5]

Well I have been told that many times in my life so I have a perfect response.'I feel sorry for you too, with all that fear of hell'. That's when they either punch me in the face or look at me as if I said something in gibberish.

[ynot]

Theist - “I feel sorry for you”

Atheist - “No you don‘t. You feel pleased for yourself because you have a deluded belief that you are superior"

[Madalch]

He wasn't catholic*, but they read a bit from his suicide note at the funeral. We got the impression that he believed he wouldn't get into heaven because of the suicide, because he was begging God to let him in anyway. "You know I always tried my best."
We don't know what he tried and failed at, but we think it's about being a good husband and father.

* The translation of the Dutch "gereformeerd" would be "reformed". Does that make sense?

The Reformed Church is a Protestant branch. Most of my maternal relatives go to the Dutch Reformed church. (I was once in a small town in Alberta called Neerlandia. There were two churches in the town- one Dutch Reformed and one Canadian Reformed. Apparently, the two congregations hated each other with a passion.)

[Achán hiNidráne]

I can't really post my typical response here, but it would end with something like "....with a rusty railroad spike!"

That's funny. Mine ends with "...a used set of surgical instruments."

[Hux]

Has anyone actually had that said to them? Did anyone give a toss?

[Travis]

Man, the only thing girls ever ask me in bars* is for tips on how to get into the pants of some other guy in the bar. Why they choose to ask me this is beyond my understanding. But the thing about "feeling sorry for you" could be the opener for some good discussion. I would have asked her if she always feels sorry for people who have nothing wrong with them. You see, she's probably working off the old "bitter atheist" stereotype in assuming you have rejected the existence of God as the result of some tragedy. Assuring her you made the decision to not believe while in full possession of your emotional faculties might have opened her eyes about what atheists are really like.

*They also occasionally ask where the restroom is.

[Flo]

In the rare occasions this has happened to me, I answer "Your problem, not mine".

[Towlie]

You see, she's probably working off the old "bitter atheist" stereotype in assuming you have rejected the existence of God as the result of some tragedy.That's an important point, and why it's better to say "I don't believe that God exists" instead of "I don't believe in God."

[readme.txt]

I had fun reading this thread. No one ever told me they felt sorry for me, but I wished it happened.

Here's what I'd say :

1)"I feel sorry that you feel sorry"
2)"Lost without Jesus? No no, I'm right here."
3)"Baaa Baaa says the sheep who is not lost"
4)"Cool story bro/sis"
5)"I feel sorry for myself too, can't work it out tho!"

[sgtbaker]

Long ago a friend of mine said something so elegantly simple that it stayed with me for decades: "If there's a God, and he can't make me aware of his existence, how can he punish me for his own shortcomings?"

We had a very similar exchange with the friend I had mentioned, regarding signs of god's existence. I said that I am still waiting for a sign and he said I had three (my children), I said "god shouldn't be so subtle," and he replied, "maybe he's not, maybe you just didn't see the signs for what they were." I replied, "If he knows my mind, and knows how I see the world; why would he give me a sign that he (the all knowing) knows I would not interpret as a sign?"

[I Ratant]

I suppose if a clever, witty atheist (which is not me) were in that situation they might be able to use it as an opportunity to plant a seed of doubt in the person's mind in a friendly way. If you get defensive and snap back, however, it won't work.
.
A good humored response that raises the doubts (there's a book full of those ) is the best approach.
An offensive demeanor merely closes the mind of the seeker of truth.

[Wittyname]

I've read all posts, very funny, thank you all.

My opinion is that Kel's best.


"Don't."

[Pedro De Mello]

I guess I must be some sort of sociopath because if she was a religious biggot AND hot I would immediately on the spot say I'm a hardcore christian. Then I would disagree on some not-so-essential questions like staying virgin until marriage or so just to keep the conversation going. Chances are she wasn't a virgin and then I could just say something like "Oh, but the Bible clearly states that bla bla bla..." but always with the attitude of someone who just says what God said and so on.

Really, why does she need to know you're an atheist? Or why is it that you feel the need to tell her that?

I understand you want to be a honest person... but come on, when you're in a bar and a girl comes talking to you truth becomes as relevant as knowing the name of the team who won the English Cricket Championship in 1996.

[Cainkane1]

I guess I must be some sort of sociopath because if she was a religious biggot AND hot I would immediately on the spot say I'm a hardcore christian. Then I would disagree on some not-so-essential questions like staying virgin until marriage or so just to keep the conversation going. Chances are she wasn't a virgin and then I could just say something like "Oh, but the Bible clearly states that bla bla bla..." but always with the attitude of someone who just says what God said and so on.

Really, why does she need to know you're an atheist? Or why is it that you feel the need to tell her that?

I understand you want to be a honest person... but come on, when you're in a bar and a girl comes talking to you truth becomes as relevant as knowing the name of the team who won the English Cricket Championship in 1996.
I did say this to her after she lit a cigarette. Well since smoking defiles the temple of your body you might want to give the bible a reread. Smoking is as bad as fornicating.

A bit tipsy I was.

[Schrodinger's Cat]

Well my answer would depend on my personal experiences. I would say that I used to be Christian and now am not, and I'm happier and better adjusted for it. I would also say that I have lived and spent extensive time in secular countries in benelux and Scandanavia, and I find their societies far more tolerant and pleasant than religious ones.

OR

recently I was referred to as "lost" by a Christian. I told them that I am very happily married, I work for a non profit, I volunteer extensively, I have a very close relationship with my family and have strong family values, I am active in my community, I don't abuse drugs or alcohol, I am financially stable, and I do not have a difficult time making moral decisions just because I don't believe there's someone watching me make them. So what does religion have to offer.

I was told in response that I am missing the love of Jesus Christ. I responded I was once Catholic and I don't feel any hole in my soul where Jesus used to be. At that point they didn't say outright but basically implied that I was probably being influenced by Satan to BELIEVE I don't miss Jesus. And at that point there's really no arguing with someone who won't accept your thoughts as genuine but as Satanically influenced.

That's the problem with a non believer speaking to a fundamentalist. Though not all religious people think this way, to the fundamentals, there is no convincing them that you are a happy, well adjusted person, because, since that falls out of their pre conseived notions for how the non religious are supposed to feel, they just assume that Satan is just making you THINK you are happy and well adjusted so you won't think you need God.

[vIQleS]

That's the problem with a non believer speaking to a fundamentalist. Though not all religious people think this way, to the fundamentals, there is no convincing them that you are a happy, well adjusted person, because, since that falls out of their pre conseived notions for how the non religious are supposed to feel, they just assume that Satan is just making you THINK you are happy and well adjusted so you won't think you need God.

The obvious answer to taht is, of course, "So what's the difference then?" If you think you feel happy then you feel happy - I'd be happy with that.

In fact - "Thanks Satan - that's jolly decent of you..."

[Pedro De Mello]

Well my answer would depend on my personal experiences. I would say that I used to be Christian and now am not, and I'm happier and better adjusted for it. I would also say that I have lived and spent extensive time in secular countries in benelux and Scandanavia, and I find their societies far more tolerant and pleasant than religious ones.

OR

recently I was referred to as "lost" by a Christian. I told them that I am very happily married, I work for a non profit, I volunteer extensively, I have a very close relationship with my family and have strong family values, I am active in my community, I don't abuse drugs or alcohol, I am financially stable, and I do not have a difficult time making moral decisions just because I don't believe there's someone watching me make them. So what does religion have to offer.

I was told in response that I am missing the love of Jesus Christ. I responded I was once Catholic and I don't feel any hole in my soul where Jesus used to be. At that point they didn't say outright but basically implied that I was probably being influenced by Satan to BELIEVE I don't miss Jesus. And at that point there's really no arguing with someone who won't accept your thoughts as genuine but as Satanically influenced.

That's the problem with a non believer speaking to a fundamentalist. Though not all religious people think this way, to the fundamentals, there is no convincing them that you are a happy, well adjusted person, because, since that falls out of their pre conseived notions for how the non religious are supposed to feel, they just assume that Satan is just making you THINK you are happy and well adjusted so you won't think you need God.

When people say I'm "lost" I just look at them really bothered and say "You're right, I'm lost...", then I grab my arm and say "Oh, never mind. I just found me."

Then, they leave. They know they are dealing with another kind of intelligence.

Gotta use psychology with these people :cool:

[Towlie]

Here's a personal anecdote where Florida Governor and U.S. Senate candidate Charlie Crist tells an atheist that he feels sorry for him. (http://free2think.org/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=966)

P. Z. Myers asks "Hey, Floridans (sic), you aren't really going to vote for this jerk, are you? (http://scienceblogs.com/pharyngula/2010/03/hey_floridans_you_arent_really.php)"

As it happens, no, I'm not.

[Schrodinger's Cat]

Viqies,
The difference, of course, is that they'll say you're happy now, sure, but then you'll burn in hell later.

[vIQleS]

Viqies,
The difference, of course, is that they'll say you're happy now, sure, but then you'll burn in hell later.

Sure (and I knew you were going to say that), but that's a whole different argument isn't it...

There's "happy now" (which we've just established that it doesn't make any difference)

Then there's "burn in hell" - now you've [they've] got to provide evidence of the existence of hell, and evidence of knowledge of what must be done to avoid it (and/or be sentenced there).

[wellwhatif]

Do whatever you want.
I cant pray for myself ;P

[Cainkane1]

I didn't think I'd ever see this thread again. believers say things like this when they don't want to argue or discuss religion.