Church Signs get more aggressive

[Some Friggin Guy]

Well, I wish I had my camera handy, because I passed the most aggressive church sign I've ever seen:

Tithe!


-Any idiot can honk.

[c4ts]

Oh please. In the middle ages church signs said things like "ye be damned and tortured if ye not pay thy tythe!!"

Anyway you can't get ye FLASK.

[Some Friggin Guy]

Okay, so it's not more aggressive then signs during the inquisition, but it's more aggressive than things like "CHRCH - The only thing missing is U".

[Madalch]

Saw a good one today- "Respect cannot be earned by demanding it." Methinks they have a beam in their own eye....


(Where is that thread necromancy smily?)

[Marduk]

http://c4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images02/7/l_307f5d530cef42fabc379800d73219d7.jpg
http://www.buzzfeed.com/tweetmeme/l307f5d530cef42fabc379800d73219d7jpg
:D

[CurtC]

The sign could add the words of Rev Lovejoy from The Simpsons:

"And, once again, tithing is ten percent off the top. That's gross income, not net. Please people, don't force us to audit."

[Sledge]

"We throw all the money in the air, and what God wants, he keeps."

[epix]

"We throw all the money in the air, and what God wants, he keeps."
Some of it goes the opposite way. (http://faculty.fullerton.edu/cmcconnell/304/Images/LHC.JPG)

First comes His Particle and then the entire scientific enchilada proving the Whole of Divine. It has been worked on . . . (http://www.toonpool.com/user/1044/files/dark_matter_halo_697925.jpg)

[joobz]

Anyway you can't get ye FLASK.
Go to Dennis.

[Sledge]

Some of it goes the opposite way. (http://faculty.fullerton.edu/cmcconnell/304/Images/LHC.JPG)

First comes His Particle and then the entire scientific enchilada proving the Whole of Divine. It has been worked on . . . (http://www.toonpool.com/user/1044/files/dark_matter_halo_697925.jpg)

Take more water with it.

[NobbyNobbs]

"Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in." -- Mark Twain

[Fnord]

One of my favorites:

"Remember that 'Love Thy Neighbor' thing? I meant it. -- God"

[epix]

Take more water with it.
Why are you generalizing all the time? What works for you, (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/d/d0/Holy_water_St_Teresa%27s_church_Clarendon_Street_D ublin_2006_Kaihsu_Tai.jpg) may not work for others. Besides, I don't have any reason to change my preferences. (http://www.motifake.com/image/demotivational-poster/small/0903/st-patricks-blessing-life-time-irish-celebration-holy-beer-m-demotivational-poster-1237395552.jpg)

[Sledge]

A lot more water with it.

[epix]

Well, I wish I had my camera handy, because I passed the most aggressive church sign I've ever seen:
But surely not the most opulent. (http://www.thatswhatyourmumsaid.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/atheism_motivation.jpg)

[epix]

A lot more water with it.
This is the grossest misquotation I've ever come across -- a misquotation that reaches the level of plain fraudulence due to the sheer lack of common ethics.

Let me present the original text, my Esteemed Forum:

Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt.
Genesis 13:10

[slingblade]

This is the grossest misquotation I've ever come across -- a misquotation that reaches the level of plain fraudulence due to the sheer lack of common ethics.

Let me present the original text, my Esteemed Forum:

Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt.
Genesis 13:10

Totally lost me. What's any of what you've posted got to do with church signs?

[epix]

Totally lost me. What's any of what you've posted got to do with church signs?
You didn't notice the "a lot of more water with it" post I was replying to. It was already off the silly topic.

[slingblade]

You didn't notice the "a lot of more water with it" post I was replying to.

Of course I did. I noticed that YOU posted first:

Some of it goes the opposite way. (http://faculty.fullerton.edu/cmcconnell/304/Images/LHC.JPG)

First comes His Particle and then the entire scientific enchilada proving the Whole of Divine. It has been worked on . . . (http://www.toonpool.com/user/1044/files/dark_matter_halo_697925.jpg)

What's that got to do with church signs?

In reply to that, Sledge said "take more water with it." No clue what that means, either.

But then you come back with the bloody brilliant:

This is the grossest misquotation I've ever come across -- a misquotation that reaches the level of plain fraudulence due to the sheer lack of common ethics.

Let me present the original text, my Esteemed Forum:

Lot looked around and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan toward Zoar was well watered, like the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt.
Genesis 13:10

Neither of your posts seem to have anything to do with church signs. But if you can tie it in somehow, I'm all eyes. Can you?



It I was already off the silly topic.

FTFY.

[epix]

Neither of your posts seem to have anything to do with church signs. But if you can tie it in somehow, I'm all eyes. Can you?

I don't think so -- I can only manage church_signs_holy_water. But ask Sledge. Maybe he didn't forget. (http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_Mtlt1iZm8_0/TKXiQFNIsYI/AAAAAAAABCw/a-Hxe0bYEYY/s320/TieOneOn01.jpg)

[slingblade]

Oh, okay, I can just ignore your failed argument, then. Works for me.

[Fnord]

Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church.

If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again.

Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon.

[Soapy Sam]

It would be a very dull heaven that had no dogs or rocks.:(

[Sledge]

In reply to that, Sledge said "take more water with it." No clue what that means, either.

It is a humourous implication that epix is posting whilst under the influence of alcohol, and should in future dilute his drink of choice with more water to mitigate its effects.

Interestingly, this thread is now the fourth result on Google for "take more water with it."

[Beerina]

There're some huge billboards along a highway near here, "Only liars go to <some local megachurch>!" and "Only hypocrites go to <it>!"

These include a URL that points out something to the effect of "Yes, we accept liars and hypocrites and sinners of all kinds!" Clever, if it weren't doing evil.

[Buckaroo]

My favorite sign has sat beside the road on I-65 North between Montgomery and Birmingham since I was kid:

"Go to church or the devil will get you!" (complete with a red horned Lucifer straight off the Underwood Deviled Ham package)

It doesn't get more direct than that...

[Manopolus]

There's a sign near where I used to live on I-35 in Kansas that says "Accept Jesus Christ -- or regret it later."

Seriously, a threat? I'd actually like to know who put it up so I could knock them upside the head for misrepresenting our fair, meth infested city in such a way.

I don't know whether it was a church or an individual responsible.

[Sledge]

One of my favorite letters to the Viz letters page was "Why is it that it's ok for the vicar to threaten me with eternal damnation every Sunday, but when I threaten him with a Stanley knife, the police are called?"

[Zanders]

"There's no stop, drop and roll in Hell"

[Cactus Wren]

One near my old house read:

FOR ALL YOU DO
HIS BLOOD'S FOR YOU

[Accidental Martyr]

My favorite sign has sat beside the road on I-65 North between Montgomery and Birmingham since I was kid:

"Go to church or the devil will get you!" (complete with a red horned Lucifer straight off the Underwood Deviled Ham package)

It doesn't get more direct than that...

Yep, I've seen that one.

[Crossbow]

I saw a great one several years ago that was posted shortly before Mother's Day (and unfortunately I did not have a camera), it said:

EVE WAS A WOMAN

The fellow who wrote that sermon sure had some issues.

[Sonny2]

There's a great sign near Kalispell, Montana:

Is This The Sign You've Been Waiting For?
—God

It's really big, I thought it was hilarious, but I don't think the sign makers meant it like I took it, there's another down the road from the same people of the repent variety.

Flippin' hilarious.

[catsmate1]

It would be a very dull heaven that had no dogs or rocks.:(
But what about cats? And Bearded Dragons?:confused:

[Scott Haley]

One time in church, a man said that he found a bible verse that mentioned a heavenly cavalry with vast numbers of horsemen. He said that if all of those horses can be in heaven, so could his dog.