A$$ Reading

[Johnny Pneumatic]

Ulf the Butt Reader

BERLIN, Germany - If you want to know your future, don't consult a palm reader, fortune teller, Miss Cleo, or tarot cards. Go straight to blind soothsayer Ulf Buck, 39, who claims to predict a person's future by reading the lines on their buttocks. According to Buck, the lines on one's backside are much more reliable than a palm. He explained, "The bottom is much more intense - it has a much stronger sense of expression than the hand in my experience." By rubbing his fingers along a number of lines on a client's butt, Buck is able to predict their future monetary success, family life, health, happiness and more. He is quick to dismiss any claims that the butt-touching is for any personal gain. "I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me."

[Zep]

References, please!

[Yahweh]

Seems leaving photocopies of yourself on your secret admirers desk is a good way to break the ice...

And who doesnt think @ss reading isnt a science, dogs have been doing it for years...

Ulf the Butt Reader is serviceman to humanity!!!

[CFLarsen]

Wasn't Joan Collins' sister doing something like this?

Some (wannabe)celebrity....hmmm....

[Ed]

Is that But Nekkid?:D

[Iconoclast]

Originally posted by Zep
References, please!
http://www.voiceone.com/html/strange9.html

http://www.geocities.com/brodavelister/scribble/buttgrab.htm

http://www.blinkenlichten.info/phobia/archives/000271.html (mit foto!)

http://www.kimficera.com/essays/readingisfun.html

[Hand Bent Spoon]

Anyone who would pay good money for this reading is an ass.

Hey, it works!;)

[Checkmite]

"I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me."

How does he know what his wife looks like? He's ****** blind. I don't buy it.

[Blondin]

Originally posted by CFLarsen
Wasn't Joan Collins' sister doing something like this?

Some (wannabe)celebrity....hmmm....

I was thinking the same thing only it was Sylvester Stallone's mother I think(?)

[mjv]

Originally posted by Blondin


I was thinking the same thing only it was Sylvester Stallone's mother I think(?)

She was one of them. I saw her on Howard Stern's E show, they messed with her by bringing in a guy who could fart on command to fart in her face.

[tdn]

Originally posted by Joshua Korosi


How does he know what his wife looks like? He's ****** blind. I don't buy it.

Me neither. "Let me read your ass", indeed.

Reminds me of something I saw years ago. I was at a local university (you've never heard of it, but the name rhymes with "Barvard") and saw a sign that said

CELEBRATION OF FEMININITY
Come celebrate your Isis nature Friday night
Get a plaster casting of your breasts
Admission: Free!

My first thought was that this was a great way for women to assert themselves. It took me about 30 seconds to work out that this was an idea cooked up by a couple of drunken frat boys as a good way to see some boobies.

[Abdul Alhazred]

A tushomancer! :p

Question: In case of an ambiguous reading, does whipping the tush bring out the truth?

[Tricky]

He's just scrying for attention.

[Witty Smitty]

Some people recieve their gifts in different ways. There is no reason to make fun of this guy because his gifts are a little different.

[tdn]

Originally posted by Witty Smitty
Some people recieve their gifts in different ways. There is no reason to make fun of this guy because his gifts are a little different.

He reads asses. I cannot honestly think of a better reason to make fun of him.