Hokey-pokey Faith Healing [Archive]

hgc

23rd April 2010, 03:30 PM

Manopolus

23rd April 2010, 03:38 PM

Well, at least hokey-pokey sounds similar to hocus pocus... which from my point of view is another word for quackery. You'd have to be exceptionally stupid to buy into it, in this case. Did they do this at a convention for people with brain damage or what?

Trent Wray

23rd April 2010, 05:56 PM

Is this like Barney the Dinosaur for grown-ups?

I can understand why some fundies who take their religion so seriously they would blow themselves up for it or kill others over a pile of rocks would see people who participate in something like that and get hot and furious over the infidels.

But at the same time, I'd rather have a group of adults spending their Sunday's participating in group Jesus magic-sing along activities than knifing me in the streets because my beard is too short. If I had to choose one or the other :)

hgc

23rd April 2010, 07:03 PM

Is this like Barney the Dinosaur for grown-ups?

Ha! That's a bullseye.

But at the same time, I'd rather have a group of adults spending their Sunday's participating in group Jesus magic-sing along activities than knifing me in the streets because my beard is too short. If I had to choose one or the other :)

Amen, brother.

dio

23rd April 2010, 08:58 PM

I did have a mild erection during that "you push your whole head in, you take your whole head out" passage. Is that normal? Was that the holy spirit acting on me?

Hey! Could that main preacher guy Hockey-porkey:) himself into losing those extra 50 pounds? I bet he could! Alleluia!!

Trent Wray

23rd April 2010, 11:17 PM

I did have a mild erection during that "you push your whole head in, you take your whole head out" passage. Is that normal? Was that the holy spirit acting on me? Were you giving the right hand of fellowship?

tsig

25th April 2010, 03:01 PM

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First, hold on to your stomach contents as the torturous rendition is run through, and you'll get to a guy who got new knees from the magic Hokey-pokey, and a bunch of people with cured ... you guessed it ... back pain.

Amazing ain't it. All some fool has to do is say "Thus saith the lord" and he has instant credibility.

Monketey Ghost

25th April 2010, 03:06 PM

That's what it's all about??

steve s

25th April 2010, 03:31 PM

At least all the comments at Youtube are mocking them. There may still be hope for the world.

Steve S.

hgc

25th April 2010, 05:40 PM

Amazing ain't it. All some fool has to do is say "Thus saith the lord" and he has instant credibility.

This undeserved credibility is conferred both upon the hokey-pokey bamboozler and the loftiest of theologians. It's the same thus saith and so thereforeth.

Trent Wray

25th April 2010, 05:45 PM

Robo Sapien

25th April 2010, 06:14 PM

Notice how when they called out for testimonials, the people most eager pushed their way up to the front and got chosen.

"You do the open-wallet and you fork over your cash, THAT's what its all about"

Ignatowski

25th April 2010, 06:16 PM

Hey! Could that main preacher guy Hockey-porkey:) himself into losing those extra 50 pounds? I bet he could! Alleluia!!

awesome :D

tsig

25th April 2010, 06:39 PM

Has nobody realized the "healings" are the result of stretching for ten minutes? I'm pretty sure that will take care of some "back aches" on occasion.

Even Billy Blanks is more tolerable than this version of "Jeebus 90-X"

My favorite is the one that kicked them in the face. I thought it really showed the preacher attitude.

(I think he was charged with assault)

Trent Wray

25th April 2010, 07:28 PM

My favorite is the one that kicked them in the face. I thought it really showed the preacher attitude.

(I think he was charged with assault) Hallelujah.

steve s

25th April 2010, 09:39 PM

My favorite is the one that kicked them in the face. I thought it really showed the preacher attitude.

(I think he was charged with assault)

Todd Bentley (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Bentley). He claimed he got all his tattoos when he was a rough and tumble biker dude before he found Jeezus. But there's video of him preaching without any tats on his arms.

Steve S

steve s

25th April 2010, 09:41 PM

Has nobody realized the "healings" are the result of stretching for ten minutes? I'm pretty sure that will take care of some "back aches" on occasion.

If they were astute enough to realize that, they wouldn't be fundies.

Steve S

tsig

25th April 2010, 10:32 PM

Todd Bentley (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Todd_Bentley). He claimed he got all his tattoos when he was a rough and tumble biker dude before he found Jeezus. But there's video of him preaching without any tats on his arms.

Steve S

Thanks for the link.

ORUgrad

26th April 2010, 07:22 PM

Robo Sapien

26th April 2010, 07:36 PM

It has been over ten years ago since graduating from Oral Roberts University and deconverting. I thought I had seen some pathetic **** in my day. This is just a whole new level. Un-freaking-BELIEVEable! I'm really at a loss for words. What's next? The Jesus Macarena?

The Macarena is too recent to come back into style just yet. We're more likely to see the Jesus Safety Dance.

hgc

26th April 2010, 08:20 PM

It has been over ten years ago since graduating from Oral Roberts University and deconverting. I thought I had seen some pathetic **** in my day. This is just a whole new level. Un-freaking-BELIEVEable! I'm really at a loss for words. What's next? The Jesus Macarena?

Wow, to hear that coming from an ORU grad is quite a statement. What're some memories of fun times in your school days?

Zep

26th April 2010, 08:54 PM

No! Don't drag that all back for him! Give the guy a break!

ORUgrad

26th April 2010, 09:06 PM

No! Don't drag that all back for him! Give the guy a break!

Haha! Rodney Howard Brown, Benny Hinn, Copeland, Hagin, Creflo Dollar, Richard Roberts, Marilyn Hickey, and on and on and on. Crazy, delusional people doing massive amounts of harm to mostly sincere people (in my experience only) who are longing for the cavalry to rescue them from their problems.

BUT, NO ONE has had the balls to do the Hokey Pokey and seriously claim God was going to heal people. If they had tried that in ORU chapel (gullible bunch that we were), we would have left in MASS and protested heavily. HOW DO YOU WRITE A PARODY ABOUT SUCH A THING?!? How do you get more absurd?

Robo Sapien

26th April 2010, 09:19 PM

BUT, NO ONE has had the balls to do the Hokey Pokey and seriously claim God was going to heal people. If they had tried that in ORU chapel (gullible bunch that we were), we would have left in MASS and protested heavily. HOW DO YOU WRITE A PARODY ABOUT SUCH A THING?!? How do you get more absurd?

I take offense to tainting the sacred Hokey Pokey with all this Jesus stuff.

hgc

27th April 2010, 05:52 AM

Haha! Rodney Howard Brown, Benny Hinn, Copeland, Hagin, Creflo Dollar, Richard Roberts, Marilyn Hickey, and on and on and on. Crazy, delusional people doing massive amounts of harm to mostly sincere people (in my experience only) who are longing for the cavalry to rescue them from their problems. ...

Ah, Copeland. I actually have that on the tube some mornings as I'm getting dressed for work. This week features Gloria yammering around the table with a withered old bat by name of Billye Brim. The Old Bat has been telling all about how Sky Captain ("God") whispered in her ear about a great "shifting in heaven" when Oral Roberts and Billy Graham die. One down, one to go. I just hope that when heaven shifts, we don't all get sat on.