If a psychic had predicted this, I'd be a believer.

[Hexxenhammer]

Whale explodes on city street. (http://news.excite.com/odd/article/id/382108|oddlyenough|01-29-2004::11:06|reuters.html)

A picture's worth a thousand words...or in this case, a thousand pounds of intestine on your scooter.

[Larspeart]

Cool!

[Hexxenhammer]

What? No puns? You people will pun anything and you can't think up anything for an exploded whale?

How 'bout...

Arrr...thar she blows!

[MartinGibbs]

For some reason, I'm reminded of the Blackadder, in Series III when Prince George says. "I may be as thick as a whale omlette..."

I think you could make one of those there.

[Lord Muck oGentry]

Another accident with the Infinite Improbability Drive?

[shanek]

No concern, however, for the nearby shattered bowl of petunias.

[jj]

Originally posted by shanek
No concern, however, for the nearby shattered bowl of petunias.

There was a damp, shattered teacup adjacent. I wonder why?

[Hutch]

Reminds of an old Dave Barry (syndicated columnist and humorist here in the USA) column about a dead whale on a beach somewhere in the US. The authorities figured the best way to dispose of it was to blow it up. :hit:


Of course, all this did was scatter chunks of whale all over the spectators and news people, some of whom got it on camera (I used to have the link, I'll see if I can find it again). Never underestimate the human ability to find the wrong answer.:clap:

[Segnosaur]

Originally posted by Hutch
Reminds of an old Dave Barry (syndicated columnist and humorist here in the USA) column about a dead whale on a beach somewhere in the US. The authorities figured the best way to dispose of it was to blow it up. :hit:



Try looking here: http://perp.com/whale/

[shanek]

Originally posted by jj


There was a damp, shattered teacup adjacent. I wonder why?

Someone should analyze it chemically to see if it's Advanced Tea Substitute^TM.

[Regnad Kcin]

Originally posted by Hexxenhammer
What? No puns? You people will pun anything and you can't think up anything for an exploded whale?

How 'bout...

Arrr...thar she blows! This story is so sad it's making me blubber.

[Skeptoid]

I'll bet that whale hasn't got the guts to try that stunt again.

[Ashles]

For some reason, I'm reminded of the Blackadder, in Series III when Prince George says. "I may be as thick as a whale omlette..."

Well Martin Gibbs, you sound like you're feeling full of yourself.

Which is more than can be said of the poor whale.

[charley_bigtime]

From the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy - the whale said:

"Oh no, not again".

Apparently, if we worked out the whale actually meant by that, we would have a greater understanding of the workings of the universe.

If anyone can work out whether that's got anything to do with a flatulent cousin of his exploding or not - please send me a postcard to the address quoted.

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Regnad Kcin
This story is so sad it's making me blubber.
Me too. I'm baleen out of this thread.

[Regnad Kcin]

Originally posted by Skeptoid
I'll bet that whale hasn't got the guts to try that stunt again. Don't you be harpoon on that poor whale!

[Dorian Gray]

(the following may take you a few minutes)

Ron Jeremy, eat your heart out.

[davidhorman]

From the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy - the whale said:

"Oh no, not again".

What a ridiculous thing for a whale to think - it was clearly the bowl of petunias.

David

[karl]

Originally posted by Hexxenhammer
Arrr...thar she blows!

And a second later everything is covered in sperm ... whale.

Sounds like a case of premature ejaculation.

[richardm]

What was the porpoise of starting this thread?

[richardm]

True Story.

In my spare time last year, I worked at a local natural history centre. We get lots of questions from people there about the various types of beasties that live hereabouts.

On one occasion, a woman came in and after a hard stare at a poster of whales and dolphins, asked about the identification of a creature she'd seen floating off the Point. She wasn't sure if it was a whale, a dolphin, a seal, or what.

I went through the obvious identification points - did it have a dorsal fin, how was it moving, what shape was its face, and all that. After a lot of uncertainty we were no further forward. I thought it was probably a seal, because it was alive but just floating like a log. Seals are idle buggers and like to do this, whereas whales and dolphins tend to keep on the move. But she thought it might be a dolphin, and I was happy to let her go away with that in the absence of anything better.

"Oh well", she said. "I suppose I'll never know what it really was. But I'll never forget that whiskery face looking up at me".

Ah! I think we might have solved the mystery :D

[mummymonkey]

Originally posted by richardm
"Oh well", she said. "I suppose I'll never know what it really was. But I'll never forget that whiskery face looking up at me".

Ah! I think we might have solved the mystery :D Clearly an otter.

[mummymonkey]

Nobody mentioned Vera Lynn yet? Would they have a whale of a time clearing that up?

[Regnad Kcin]

Ahab a headache from reading this thread!

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Regnad Kcin
Ahab a headache from reading this thread!
I'm sure that's coincidental. This thread didn't cause your headache. That's just a fluke.

[zakur]

These puns are so bad I don't know whether to laugh orca cry.

[chulbert]

That's a whale of tale.

[Hexxenhammer]

That picture gives a whole new meaning to the term "blowhole".

[Dorian Gray]

Dorian Gray wrote:
(the following may take you a few minutes)

Ron Jeremy, eat your heart out.
And a second later everything is covered in sperm ... whale.
Yup, that's what I meant.

[Dorian Gray]

I don't actually believe this story. It sounds like a shamu.

[Tricky]

I wonder if the next day all the bar-b-que shops were advertising "Free Willy".

[CapelDodger]

Finally: evidence of a Whale of Max Distention.

[Hexxenhammer]

I'm whaling in agony from these terrible puns. That's it. I'm baleen out of this thread.

[Blondin]

Originally posted by Hexxenhammer
I'm whaling in agony from these terrible puns. That's it. I'm baleen out of this thread.
Head for the escape pods.

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Tricky 1-29-04

Me too. I'm baleen out of this thread.
Unoriginally posted by Hexxenhammer 2-2-04

That's it. I'm baleen out of this thread.
I'm afraid I have to claim copyright infringment here.

[Hexxenhammer]

Originally posted by Tricky


I'm afraid I have to claim copyright infringment here. That's what I get for not reading all of my own thread. Guess I blew it.

[Yahweh]

Icky!

[Regnad Kcin]

Originally posted by Hexxenhammer
That's what I get for not reading all of my own thread. Guess I blew it. Yes, quite a breach.

[Skeptic]

From a different news report about the incident:

"Certified by authorities as the largest beached whale on record in Taiwan, the 17-meter 50-ton carcass was being transported by a flat-bed trailer-truck to a special research location after National Cheng Kung University officials and security guards refused to allow the whale on campus."

Must have been an interesting conversation between those bringing the whale in and the security guards, don't you think?

I mean, "Dead whale sketch"...

--"I'm sorry, but you can't put this whale here! It's dead!"
--"No, it's just pining for the fjords..."

Or perhaps:

--"Look, I SWEAR, somebody in room 453 of the freshmen's dorms ordered the extra-large pizza with dead whale and anchovies... yes, we give generous portions..."

How about:

--"What have you got there?"
--"Oh, nothing..."
--"Don't lie to me, it's a dead whale!"
--"No it isn't!"

Or just the simple:

--"Hey, buddy, do you mind watching this dead whale for me for a second? I'll be right back, I promise..."

Damn, this just writes itself, doesn't it?