I wanted a taco last night.

[evildave]

Yet I'm still here. Near death experience? You decide.

What makes people think being nearly dead is special evidence of what being dead is like?

Is going to the airport and not getting on a plane going on vacation?

[c4ts]

The desiring of a taco is not a near death experience. What happens after the eating of a hundred tacos, is.

[Vorticity]

Foolish A-Tacoist!
We will all cry out for tacos at the instant of death (it is hardwired!), but this does not imply the converse. We can cry out for tacos without dying.
When will you A-Tacoists learn basic logic?!

[Mossy]

EvilDave,

Thank you for giving me this opportunity to proselytize a little. There are a great many confusions when it comes to tacos, and their importance when the time comes to check out of the big hotel.

First of all - simply wanting a taco does not indicate that one is near death. There is a great deal of confusion over this, and in the Dark Ages (pre-Taco Enlightenment), there were many Tacoist wars fought over issues such as this.

All Tacoist scholars will now acknowledge that the simple act of "desiring" a taco is comparable to the act of an infant's suckeling when placed near his mothers breast. This has been the philosophical position for the last couple centuries, however, with modern medical science we can now say - with scientific certainty - that we are all programmed for Tacos. From birth to the grave. As the old saying goes, "there are no a-taciosts in the foxhole".

The simple fact that we are hardwired for calling out for a taco as the reality of our impending death sets upon us, does not mean that one has experienced a near death experience simply because he wanted a taco.

I hope that this clears up the controversy!

Thanks,
-Ed

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Vorticity
Foolish A-Tacoist!
We will all cry out for tacos at the instant of death (it is hardwired!), but this does not imply the converse. We can cry out for tacos without dying.
When will you A-Tacoists learn basic logic?!

Somehow you manage to make more sense than F-word (my Franko title for him) ever did.

[Graham]

I want a taco now so I didn't vote.

Thank you to all of you though for a laugh on an otherwise grey morning.

A-tacoists! Hah!

As far as the serious point goes, if you got on a plane to go on holiday and the plane, for some reason had to turn around and come back, you would get to see what the beginning phases of a holiday are like (i.e. getting on a plane).

I think NDE are like that. When you die you probably do experience the various sensations and hallucinations that people report of NDEs. That doesn't make them supernatural or evidence of an afterlife though. It's just what goes on in your brain as it locks all the doors and turns out the lights.

I do want a taco now though and all I have for lunch is left-over cottage pie .:mad:

[kourama]

When I eat Tacos, the shell always cracks and scrapes the roof of my mouth. Then, beacuse of the akward angle of my head, the meat tumbles out and falls down the neck of my T-shirt.

Also, since the whole damn thing crumbles, you always have to eat more than you really wanted to unless you want a handfull of Taco guts.

Ever try to eat one while driving? Talk about NDE.

Tacos are evil...but they're so tasty!

[Upchurch]

Guys, listen.

I know I'm a "soft" tacoist and we're pretty laid back, but I'm uncomfortable with this line of discussion. I mean, these are tacos we're talking about here. If we piss off the Great Taco In The Sky (GTITS), it might start bring it's massive consciousness against us. And nobody wants that.

Upchurch

[AtheistArchon]

- GTITS. That's just awesome. I must use this.

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by kourama
When I eat Tacos, the shell always cracks and scrapes the roof of my mouth. Then, beacuse of the akward angle of my head, the meat tumbles out and falls down the neck of my T-shirt.

Also, since the whole damn thing crumbles, you always have to eat more than you really wanted to unless you want a handfull of Taco guts.

I think if you converted to soft taco-ism it would solve many of your difficulties.

Next thread: Soft Tacos vs. Burritos: really, what's the difference?

[Mossy]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin

Soft Tacos vs. Burritos: really, what's the difference?

You'll burn in hell for that.

-Ed

[Soubrette]

Originally posted by Mossy


You'll burn in hell for that.

-Ed

Ah but worth it for the soya substitute taco :p

Sou

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by AtheistArchon
- GTITS. That's just awesome. I must use this. It gets worse if you pronounce the "Great" and make an ackronym (sp?) out of the rest of it.

Upchurch

[Javalar]

Anybody ever read those those Chicken tracts? Man those are funny! According to this guy, any Taco not filled with poultry by-products are really a tool of the GBFH (Great burrito from hell) and that you go to hell if you eat them.

He says that when you die, you go heaven and meet the GAN (Great angelic nacho, who sits at the right hand of the GTITS). You must then give him your order and if it can't be found in the menu of life, you go to hell.

Hilarious! :D

[Franko]

TLOP makes HUMANS makes TACOS

And since (According to the Religion of A-Theism) TLOP is less conscious then Humans, it is only logically consistent to conclude that Humans must be equally less conscious then Tacos!

… And they say that the Christians are Crazy?!?!? :rolleyes:

Just out of curiosity A-Theists … If I owned a Taco Bell would that make me like the Pope or something? … or would I just be like a Bishop or Cardinal?

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by Javalar
you go to hell.
I've always heard it called "tex-mex".

Upchurch

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by Franko

[garbage removed]

Oh, look. It's that guy who claims he's more conscious than a taco. Too bad he has yet to show it....

Upchurch

[arcticpenguin]

Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's taco.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's taco.
Thou shant? uh-oh. I do that all the time....

Upchurch

[c4ts]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's taco.

Suddenly I am reminded that "taco" can be slang for "vagina."

[Tricky]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's taco.
That was an error in translation from the Dead Sea Tortillas. What it actually says is, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighobor's ass, even if it's very attractive".

GTITS wants you to covet tacos. All the time.

[tamiO]

Is going to the airport and not getting on a plane going on vacation?

No. Don't be stupid.
That would be a Near Vacation Experience.

I have those just by watching the travel channel.

[Franko]

Upchimp panted:
Oh, look. It's that guy who claims he's more conscious than a taco. Too bad he has yet to show it....

Oh, look. It's that guy who claims he's more conscious than TLOP. Too bad he has yet to show it....

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Tricky

That was an error in translation from the Dead Sea Tortillas. What it actually says is, "Thou shalt not covet thy neighobor's ass, even if it's very attractive".

GTITS wants you to covet tacos. All the time.

Yet scholarly evidence suggest that the closest ideological translation would be "thou shall not covet thy neighbor's chalupa," which works well except in the context of another line, "honor thy taco and thy burrito."

[Javalar]

Don't you A-tacoists forget:

- Tacos are made according to the ATR. (Ancient Taco Recipe)
- YOU are made out of Tacos (because you eat them)
- YOU obey the ATR.

Now excuse me while I spread shreaded letuce, cheese and diced tomatoes over my meat filling.

[BroodingSkill]

Hey Dave, do you even have so much as a Taco Bell up in the hills or do you have to make your own? or maybe you have to go up to Oakurst or drive down to the valley for it?

Just asking a geographical question, I'm curious?


I know this is sort of off topic but I haven't posted in a while, and I felt the sudden desire to do so. Thanx.


This whole tacoist thing is something I can believe in, or at least eat.

Maybe I'll put on a suit and wear a funny name badge with some ridiculus title on it, hop on my bike and go door to door and preach the purity of tacos to total strangers..(nah! that's too much like work).

Well at least I can go to the local church( Taco Bell), make a donation and eat of the body of our lord( the taco) and bask in it's everlasting love and farts( sorry my stomach doesn't like spicy food one bit, even Taco Bells, which isn't that spicy even), and belch my pleasure. Ah, what Bliss!

edited to add all the stupid stuff above.

[sir drinks-a-lot]

You know, an omnipotent, omnibenevolent, omniscient god would have given you that taco!

[Regnad Kcin]

[Gregorian chant mode]

Carne asada, in excelcis deo.

[/Gregorian chant mode]

[evildave]

Originally posted by BroodingSkill
Hey Dave, do you even have so much as a Taco Bell up in the hills or do you have to make your own? or maybe you have to go up to Oakurst or drive down to the valley for it?

Just asking a geographical question, I'm curious?


I know this is sort of off topic but I haven't posted in a while, and I felt the sudden desire to do so. Thanx.


This whole tacoist thing is something I can believe in, or at least eat.

Maybe I'll put on a suit and wear a funny name badge with some ridiculus title on it, hop on my bike and go door to door and preach the purity of tacos to total strangers..(nah! that's too much like work).

Well at least I can go to the local church( Taco Bell), make a donation and eat of the body of our lord( the taco) and bask in it's everlasting love and farts( sorry my stomach doesn't like spicy food one bit, even Taco Bells, which isn't that spicy even), and belch my pleasure. Ah, what Bliss!

edited to add all the stupid stuff above.

Actually, I desired (and ate) grilled fish tacos at the taco place in North Fresno, next to Lowe's and the the video game exchanging place.

But there is Tia Rita's right around the block from me. There's a mexican place in Coarsegold. There's several mexican places in Oakhurst, including the Taqueria, next to the Met cinema. There is also an extremely good mexican restaraunt in North Fork that looks like a burger dive, but their sit-down dinners are really, really fabulous.

And (of course) there's the Taco Hell in Oakhurst. Flavorless .59 cent tacos in bulk. From a caulk gun. The only flavor is from the little plastic packets.

Added:

What is the significance of horchata? I usually want this even more than tacos.

And what of chorizo con huevos?

[Mossy]

I've sent Taco Tim (http://www.306wd.com/tacotim/) an email, requesting his wisdom and insight into the inherent holiness of Tacos.

Unfortunately, Tim seems to be a little militant - but that is often the case with new converts. We need to spread the word that Tacoism is not about hate - it is about Love... and Tacos. Okay, mostly it is about Tacos - but there really is room for love too, and while it isn't about hate - it is important to hate those that willfully reject the logic, science and divinity that is Tacoism.

Spread the word, love thy neighbor, love thy neighbor's Taco, and covet - oh yes, don't forget to covet! Tricky's accurate comment regarding the Dead Sea Tortillas (a little salty, some would say) is something you should never forget: Covet Tacos, GTITS wouldn't have it any other way.

-Ed

[Regnad Kcin]

Originally posted by evildave
Actually, I desired (and ate) grilled fish tacos ...Mmm, pass the plate at the Church of Our Lady of the Immaculate Rubio's!

[kourama]

Originally posted by c4ts


Suddenly I am reminded that "taco" can be slang for "vagina."

Yeah, I admit my purile mind noticed that too. Actually, we usually referr to "Taco Shell" around here. Gee, I hope I don't have to explain that...

In any case you SOFT TACOISTS WILL BE THROWN INTO THE LAKE OF TOBASCO, by the ONE TRUE GTITS and his only son Cheesus of Nacho-reth!

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by kourama
In any case you SOFT TACOISTS WILL BE THROWN INTO THE LAKE OF TOBASCO, by the ONE TRUE GTITS and his only son Cheesus of Nacho-reth!
See what I mean when I say that Cruncy Tacoists are too hard edged?

The GTITS is all about love, kindness, and inexpensive spicy goodness regardless of the type of Tacoist you might be. You A-Tacoists can burn in Tex-Mex.

Upchurch

[c4ts]

You're all wrong. Not tacos, egg rolls! EGG ROLLS ARE THE ANSWER! EGG ROLLS WILL PROTECT YOU! EGG ROLLS WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE!

[zakur]

Originally posted by c4ts
You're all wrong. Not tacos, egg rolls! EGG ROLLS ARE THE ANSWER! EGG ROLLS WILL PROTECT YOU! EGG ROLLS WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE! Are you of the Orthodox Church of Egg Rolls or Reformed Church of Egg Rolls?

[Javalar]

Originally posted by c4ts
You're all wrong. Not tacos, egg rolls! EGG ROLLS ARE THE ANSWER! EGG ROLLS WILL PROTECT YOU! EGG ROLLS WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THE TERRIBLE SECRET OF SPACE! Heathen! Leave now he who has been tempted by the sweet sauce! Everybody knows that only wicked men eat egg rolls. We all know that even if he presented himself as a Tacoist, Hitler secretly ate egg rolls.

May your soul burn forever in the lake of tobasco in Tex-mex!

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by Javalar
We all know that even if he presented himself as a Tacoist,
Like Tex-Mex, he did! No sane person would believe Hitler was a Tacoist. He only used taco's to woo the masses. He never claimed to be a Tacoist, you revisionist!

[c4ts]

Originally posted by zakur
Are you of the Orthodox Church of Egg Rolls or Reformed Church of Egg Rolls?

Orthodox, of course. When will those Reformed heathens ever learn? One cannot eat tacos and egg rolls at the same time! Does it not say in the Chinese Talmud Menu, "Egg Roll ................ $2.00"?

[UserGoogol]

You fools. The one true faith is pie. As it happens, I have prepared an example of the glories of pieism in website form.

http://griffinfuhrer.tripod.com/eatpie.html

[c4ts]

Originally posted by UserGoogol
You fools. The one true faith is pie. As it happens, I have prepared an example of the glories of pieism in website form.

http://griffinfuhrer.tripod.com/eatpie.html

Of course I tolerate your pie-worshipping antics. After all, what is the pie but a westernized version of the egg roll? It seems I am not the only one who says that egg rolls are the answer, and therefore egg rolls are the answer!

[arcticpenguin]

Does anyone here speak Japanese? I think the Japanese word for 'octopus' is pronounced 'taco', so it might be possible to have a taco taco.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Does anyone here speak Japanese? I think the Japanese word for 'octopus' is pronounced 'taco', so it might be possible to have a taco taco.

Tell me, what does that really mean, other than that you will go to the other Chinese Restauraunt in the Great Beyond for not eating Egg Rolls on Earth, and committing double blasphemy with Japanese efficiency?!

Eat the Roll of Eggu or bukkoroshite yaru zo!!!

[neutrino_cannon]

Actualy the Japanese word for octopus is usualy transliterated as "tako". Thus a "tako taco", which is a common joke where I come from (for no good reason actualy).

And a taco tako would be terribly chewy, stick to sushi, or unagi tacos!

But serouisly folks, do you think that you could honestly escape the wrath of the gods simply by apealing to them with bean and meat filling wrapped in an easily shatted shell of corn? Pah, the chosen ones prefer to eat their food still twitching.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by neutrino_cannon
Pah, the chosen ones prefer to eat their food still twitching.

Still twitching INSIDE AN EGG ROLL!

[kourama]

I think I might just convert and become a $andwichologist. Read the Cookbook of Dietetics by L. Bran Cupboard, and free your mint!

By the way, I hear the Granolians have found a way to make a whole tray full of IDENTICAL cookies. Unfortunately, they aren't releasing any secrets, and no one is allowed to validate it.

[Diogenes]

Originally posted by c4ts


Still twitching INSIDE AN EGG ROLL!

You have had egg rolls that don't twitch?

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Diogenes


You have had egg rolls that don't twitch?

You have had tacos that weren't filled with Chihuahua droppings?

My grandmother always shops at a surplus-store, you know the kind. She's a stale-crusty-taco'an. It's scary. Never eat anything at her house if it doesn't have a date on it.


Personally, I'm a Reese's Cupian. Eat peanut butter and die!

[kourama]

Originally posted by smegalicious
My grandmother always shops at a surplus-store, you know the kind. She's a stale-crusty-taco'an. It's scary. Never eat anything at her house if it doesn't have a date on it.


Personally, I'm a Reese's Cupian. Eat peanut butter and die!

I remember the commercials for reese's peanut butter cups in the 70's that did cheap star-wars rip offs. I also remember the first time I had one. I opened the package and then thought "Oh, OK. This is the chocolate part." SO I went to the cupboard to get my own peanut butter.

Ahhh, memories.

I sorta prefer less sweet candy bars. My current fav is "Eat More". Yummy.

[Melissa Johnson]

Where does one go to take Tacoist instruction? All this proselytizing has made me ...er...hunger for the truth...and though Taco Hell makes flavorless, caulk-filled .59 tacos, is it a sin to consume them in mass quantities because they are cheap and better than the cult of McBurger? And, please tell me, where do the holy Margaritas fit in? There's a beverage I could possibly worship, as long as I didn't have to do...stuff.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by smegalicious
My grandmother always shops at a surplus-store, you know the kind. She's a stale-crusty-taco'an. It's scary. Never eat anything at her house if it doesn't have a date on it.


Personally, I'm a Reese's Cupian. Eat peanut butter and die!

There may be no wrong way to eat a Reese's, but you're already eating the wrong thing if you're not eating egg rolls! You will die. Die and go to Hell! HELL FOR THE FOOLISH TACOISTS I SAY! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAH!

[Melissa Johnson]

...which brings up the question, what if you worship both egg rolls and the holy taco? Does Chinese Hot Mustard not burn as bad as really good salsa?

[Franko]

WOW ... it's just like being over in the Banter section. :eek:

Do you think that the Back Street boys are a better band than N'Sync??? :confused:

[Melissa Johnson]

Actually, it's pretty much like being in Religion & Philosophy...oh, wait. We are.

[Soubrette]

Originally posted by Franko
WOW ... it's just like being over in the Banter section. :eek:

Do you think that the Back Street boys are a better band than N'Sync??? :confused:

I really wish people would stay on topic :mad:

Sou

[Franko]

I really wish people would stay on topic

Yeah!

... so weren't we talking about naked women or something ... ?

[Soubrette]

Originally posted by Franko


Yeah!

... so weren't we talking about naked women or something ... ?

Tacos ;)

Sou

[Franko]

naked taco's???

That sounds kinky Brette ... tell me more ...

[Roadtoad]

Wussies.

REAL TACOISTS put HABANERO sauce on their REAL TACOS, made with CORN tortillas. And the meat must be shredded, either beef, chicken or pork, but NEVER hamburger! Tomatoes are permissible if you're serving sissies or little kids, or (shudder!) Easterners.

Burritos: If you can get both your hands around it, it's not a burrito.

Sheesh! I'm stuck hanging with a bunch of anarchic, heathen, BLASPHEMERS!

[kourama]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
Wussies.

REAL TACOISTS put HABANERO sauce on their REAL TACOS, made with CORN tortillas. And the meat must be shredded, either beef, chicken or pork, but NEVER hamburger! Tomatoes are permissible if you're serving sissies or little kids, or (shudder!) Easterners.

Burritos: If you can get both your hands around it, it's not a burrito.

Sheesh! I'm stuck hanging with a bunch of anarchic, heathen, BLASPHEMERS!

Luxury!

When I was a lad we'd get up at 3:30 in the morning, half an hour before we went to bed. Drink a half-cup of HABINERO sauce, put a drop of tobasco in each eye, and chilli pepper up our bums. We'd walk 40 miles to the pepper mill (uphill both ways), work 25 hours for no pay, and when we got home, our father would drown us in pure capsaicin, and dance about on our graves!

You tell the kids of today that, and they won't believe ya!

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by kourama


Luxury!

When I was a lad we'd get up at 3:30 in the morning, half an hour before we went to bed. Drink a half-cup of HABINERO sauce, put a drop of tobasco in each eye, and chilli pepper up our bums. We'd walk 40 miles to the pepper mill (uphill both ways), work 25 hours for no pay, and when we got home, our father would drown us in pure capsaicin, and dance about on our graves!

You tell the kids of today that, and they won't believe ya!

Ah, yes, and here we are now, drinking Chateau de Chatilly wine...!

(Dinsdale....)

[kourama]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


Ah, yes, and here we are now, drinking Chateau de Chatilly wine...!

(Dinsdale....)

No dude, it's a paraphrased Monty Python sketch.

Wine makes me barf, actually. :(

[evildave]

I think he credited that with the 'Chateau de Chatilly wine' line, which was from the same skit.

So, are we going to decide who's a REAL tacoist and not?

Such as selecting people who have done things we disagree with and claiming that they're not ACTUAL tacoists because of that?

Or as Mojo Nixon says "Michael J. Fox has NO Elvis in him."

Bill Clinton ate a taco once....

And nobody has addressed my Horchata question. The very wine of the Taco sacrement.

[Melissa Johnson]

Originally posted by evildave
I think he credited that with the 'Chateau de Chatilly wine' line, which was from the same skit.

So, are we going to decide who's a REAL tacoist and not?

Such as selecting people who have done things we disagree with and claiming that they're not ACTUAL tacoists because of that?

Or as Mojo Nixon says "Michael J. Fox has NO Elvis in him."

Bill Clinton ate a taco once....

And nobody has addressed my Horchata question. The very wine of the Taco sacrement.

I guess I'm a heathen as far as Horchata is concerned. What is it?

[evildave]

A sweet cinnamon flavored drink, made of rice milk. Served over ice.

Two seconds of web searching provides a recipe for it, though you can get it in some mexican restaraunts, or pre-made from some stores.

http://www.tenspeedpress.com/features/page.php3?ftr=192

http://www.epicurious.com/db/dictionary/terms/h/horchata.html

Thai iced tea is another vise....

[arcticpenguin]

I guess I could put an egg roll inside a taco shell, and a couple of peanut butter cups. I could call it a Ba'hai taco.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
I guess I could put an egg roll inside a taco shell, and a couple of peanut butter cups. I could call it a Ba'hai taco.

NO, NO, NO! YOU can't call it that! I can call it that, or Evil Dave can call it that, BUT YOU CAN'T CALL IT THAT!

(Some people...!)

[c4ts]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
I guess I could put an egg roll inside a taco shell, and a couple of peanut butter cups. I could call it a Ba'hai taco.

That sort of thing would kill you instantly, and you would go to Hell because the entire thing was in a taco shell, and therefore a taco.

[evildave]

But isn't Hell eternal separation from tacos?

[c4ts]

Originally posted by evildave
But isn't Hell eternal separation from tacos?

Yes, because every taco you've eaten will be painfully extracted from your immortal soul.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by c4ts


Yes, because every taco you've eaten will be painfully extracted from your immortal soul.

All your Tostadas are belong to us...

[kourama]

Originally posted by evildave
I think he credited that with the 'Chateau de Chatilly wine' line, which was from the same skit.

*SNIP*


Really? Damn. My sketch memory is sketchy.

[Melissa Johnson]

Originally posted by evildave
A sweet cinnamon flavored drink, made of rice milk. Served over ice.

Two seconds of web searching provides a recipe for it, though you can get it in some mexican restaraunts, or pre-made from some stores.

http://www.tenspeedpress.com/features/page.php3?ftr=192

http://www.epicurious.com/db/dictionary/terms/h/horchata.html

Thai iced tea is another vise....

Thai iced tea....(insert Homer simpson drooling sound here)....

[Dragonrock]

You modern northern Tacoists don't know a thing about true tacos. Your liberal interpretation of the ATR (Ancient Taco Recipe) causes you to misinterpret simple recipe lines. When it says, "The tortilla may be covered with shreds" you don't understand that GTITS means it should be covered with SHREDS of beef. Some of you think that it means you can use shredded lettuce and ground beef. But even you know that that is not a true taco.

Also, Burritologists say that the BOB (Book of Burrito) is simple another page to be added onto the ATR. This belief is strengthened by the line in the ATR that reads, "A thin layer of beans holds it all together". They claim that the BOB was inspired by the GTITS to bring beans to the world and replace beef as the primary ingredient. What they fail to grasp is that a tortilla filled completely with beans is against the ATR and that it destroys the heart of a taco which is beef.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
You modern northern Tacoists don't know a thing about true tacos. Your liberal interpretation of the ATR (Ancient Taco Recipe) causes you to misinterpret simple recipe lines. When it says, "The tortilla may be covered with shreds" you don't understand that GTITS means it should be covered with SHREDS of beef. Some of you think that it means you can use shredded lettuce and ground beef. But even you know that that is not a true taco.

Also, Burritologists say that the BOB (Book of Burrito) is simple another page to be added onto the ATR. This belief is strengthened by the line in the ATR that reads, "A thin layer of beans holds it all together". They claim that the BOB was inspired by the GTITS to bring beans to the world and replace beef as the primary ingredient. What they fail to grasp is that a tortilla filled completely with beans is against the ATR and that it destroys the heart of a taco which is beef.

Damned elitists!

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


Damned elitists!

No, not elitists, we just understand the true nature of the Taco. I myself have gone back to the ATR and read it in it's original Mexican, before it was interpreted. It is truely a beautiful recipe describing ancient salsas and primeval guacamole. It's a thing that modern tacoists have forgotten. It is also something that the eggrollians never understand. One would think they would understand that a won-ton wrap is different from a tortilla, spicy mustard is not the same as salsa, and shrimp will never replace beef as the OTI (One True Ingredient). It is so sad that I understand and you do not, your a-tacoism will result in only your souls unending hunger.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


No, not elitists, we just understand the true nature of the Taco. I myself have gone back to the ATR and read it in it's original Mexican, before it was interpreted. It is truely a beautiful recipe describing ancient salsas and primeval guacamole. It's a thing that modern tacoists have forgotten. It is also something that the eggrollians never understand. One would think they would understand that a won-ton wrap is different from a tortilla, spicy mustard is not the same as salsa, and shrimp will never replace beef as the OTI (One True Ingredient). It is so sad that I understand and you do not, your a-tacoism will result in only your souls unending hunger.

Fie upon thee, for thy refusal to accept new revelation, chicken, and fish...

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


Fie upon thee, for thy refusal to accept new revelation, chicken, and fish...

You poor misguided fool. Only shredded beef is the OTI and without the OTI you do not have a taco. I suppose you think taking a piece of baloney covering it with catsup then wrapping it in a piece of Wonder-bread would become a taco if you put a jalapeno in it. You a-tacoists are all the same, you don't get it.

ATR describes the OTI
OTI fills the taco
You eat the taco
the ATR fills you

Can you explain this? Can you? You silly a-tacoist.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


You poor misguided fool. Only shredded beef is the OTI and without the OTI you do not have a taco. I suppose you think taking a piece of baloney covering it with catsup then wrapping it in a piece of Wonder-bread would become a taco if you put a jalapeno in it. You a-tacoists are all the same, you don't get it.

ATR describes the OTI
OTI fills the taco
You eat the taco
the ATR fills you

Can you explain this? Can you? You silly a-tacoist.

Nay, NEVER! Baloney is not even MEAT, Elitist Swine! Nor is ketchup even considered food, and do not even think of starting about "Wonder Bread." (Permit me to pause here for a moment whilst I violently evacuate my middens...)

OTI should not be limited to mean "ONE True Ingredient," but perhaps should be taken to mean "ORIGINAL True Ingredient." Where is your sense of adventure, which would make you a True Tacoist? HAH! (I thought so! You lack one!) Indeed, one sees it all now! You hide behind a faux-orthodoxy of Tacoism, while seeking to squelch the quest for True Tacoism, the Inexhaustible Quest for Taco Truth!

Indeed, we see it all now in your jingoistic responses! (And ixnay on the claim that we would defile ourselves with HAMBURGER! Clearly, and Ad Hom if there ever was one!)

I relieve myself in your general direction...!:D

[Tricky]

What about fajitas? (A lesser symbol of Tacoism). I have tried to explain that "fajita" literally means "flank steak", therefore there can be no such thing as "shrimp fajitas". Or at least they would have to be very small.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Tricky
What about fajitas? (A lesser symbol of Tacoism). I have tried to explain that "fajita" literally means "flank steak", therefore there can be no such thing as "shrimp fajitas". Or at least they would have to be very small.

Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, Tricky, but aren't they made with flour tortillas?

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


Uh, correct me if I'm wrong, Tricky, but aren't they made with flour tortillas?
This is one of those "gray areas" of tacoism. My sect believes that the fajitas are the meat, while others claim it only becomes a fajita when wrapped in a flour tortilla. Personally, when I eat fajitas, I eat the meat separately from the tortilla. I realize I could be burned at the steak for saying such a thing, but you don't know who I am. Ha ha ha ha...

[evildave]

GTITS 3:11 And he with the stinky pun shall perish in a sea of recycled beans.

[Graham]

This one was actually still on the first page but it was keeping some of those others from the bottom.

Can't have that.

btw now I want a taco again

Graham

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Tricky
What about fajitas? (A lesser symbol of Tacoism). I have tried to explain that "fajita" literally means "flank steak", therefore there can be no such thing as "shrimp fajitas". Or at least they would have to be very small.

Fajitas are a gray area, while not true tacos they have many of the symbols of tacoism (Tortilla, sliced beef and not ground, salsa, and the possible introduction of guacamole or sour cream) they are, as you said, a LESSER symbol of tacoism and can be used as an occasional replacment or augmentation to tacos similarly to beef enchiladas or a chimichanga. But, true tacoism requires that the taco is central to all.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


Fajitas are a gray area, while not true tacos they have many of the symbols of tacoism (Tortilla, sliced beef and not ground, salsa, and the possible introduction of guacamole or sour cream) they are, as you said, a LESSER symbol of tacoism and can be used as an occasional replacment or augmentation to tacos similarly to beef enchiladas or a chimichanga. But, true tacoism requires that the taco is central to all.

On one area we agree: GROUND meat is HERESY!

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


On one area we agree: GROUND meat is HERESY!

...as is SHREDDED.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Tricky


...as is SHREDDED.

Tricky,

I always knew you were an a-tacoist. You claim to know of the GTITS but it is obvious you've never even read the ATR. I am sorry that such simple concepts are beyond you.

Can you explain this simple concept?

the GTITS wrote the ATR
the ATR describes the OTI
the OTI fills the Taco
you eat the Taco
the Taco gets dumped in the toilet
you flush the toilet
the toilet.. um...I lost my place...

[arcticpenguin]

This week I've got a big pot of chili . I made it with cubed beef, not ground. And I'm eating it with garlic bread.

[c4ts]

Haven't you people heard of the food chain? It's so simple:

Plankton is eaten by microbe is eaten by bigger microbe is eaten by worm is eaten by fish is eaten by mongoose is eaten by small child is eaten by bloodthirsty monkey tribe is eaten by tiger is eaten by lion is eaten by elephant is eaten by British imperialist is eaten by mutant cannibal vine is eaten by A-Theist is eaten by really big atom is eaten by TLOP is eaten by taco is eaten by egg roll is eaten by man is eaten by woman is eaten by Cthulhu!!

[arcticpenguin]

Cthulhu? Is that an alternate spelling of Chalupa?
;)

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin
Cthulhu? Is that an alternate spelling of Chalupa?
;)

Sounds good to me...

[evildave]

I had a veggie rice bowl for lunch at the Taqueria.

No meat. No tortilla. No cheese.

[Tricky]

Originally posted by evildave
I had a veggie rice bowl for lunch at the Taqueria.

No meat. No tortilla. No cheese.
Just as other religions do not require you to go to church every day, Tacoism does not require you to eat tacos at every meal. It only requires that you hold in your heart that tacos are the greatest of foods. You must hold the taco supreme.

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by evildave
I had a veggie rice bowl for lunch at the Taqueria.

No meat. No tortilla. No cheese.
No cat. No cradle.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by arcticpenguin

No cat. No cradle.

...no tickee, no shirtee...

[evildave]

No Inventory! No Prices! No business!

How can we afford it?

Volume!

[Plutarck]

Originally posted by evildave
No Inventory! No Prices! No business!

How can we afford it?

Volume!

I'd love to attend THAT going out of business sale! The prices would be insane!

[WonderfulWorld]

I'm very confused....

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by WonderfulWorld
I'm very confused....

Ahh, my child, have you ever had a Taco?

[CSSMariner]

Originally posted by c4ts


Suddenly I am reminded that "taco" can be slang for "vagina."

Nope, that would be yet another phylum more properly referred to as a "Fuzzy Taco," and totally out of the ream of this line of discussion. On the other hand it is easy to cover thy neighbor's taco, be it crispy, soft, or fuzzy.

Did I really say "crispy" in this context?:p

[evildave]

Reminds me of the joke where the old prostitute had to scrape out the scabs...

[CSSMariner]

Originally posted by CSSMariner
On the other hand it is easy to cover thy neighbor's taco, be it crispy, soft, or fuzzy.

Did I make a Freudian slip here by saying "cover thy neighbor's taco" instead of '"covet thy neighbors taco?" Cover/covet, covet to cover, covet under the cover, under cover coveting, what does it all mean?????

Does Franko ever have inappropriate dreams of his heighbors taco?

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by CSSMariner


Did I make a Freudian slip here by saying "cover thy neighbor's taco" instead of '"covet thy neighbors taco?" Cover/covet, covet to cover, covet under the cover, under cover coveting, what does it all mean?????

Does Franko ever have inappropriate dreams of his heighbors taco?

I do.... :D

[arcticpenguin]

Last night for dinner I had chili and orange rolls. It just doesn't get much better than this.

[evildave]

Oh yeah? Well last night I was at the grocery store and the deli section announced their hot cooked chickens were $1.00 each. So I ate chicken sanwiches. It was vaguely taco shaped.

[Dragonrock]

I see everyone is discovering the true meaning of the taco. You finally see that all things are slighty taco and that the taco is part of us all.

[Franko]

hehehe!

If the A-Theists can't transform the R&P forum into Infidels.org Junior then they will try and convert it into the Banter section Junior. hehehe ... religious fanatics ... hehe ...

[Dragonrock]

Hey! Did anyone else smell that? I'm not sure where it came from...

[CSSMariner]

Is Santa Taco for real, or is he just a dream brought on by some bad picante sauce?

What do you get when you cross a fuzzy taco with a big all beef burrito?

Sweet frijoles of course.

[Plutarck]

We are all a part of the Taco, and the Taco is all a part of us.

*bows*

The Taco Nature in me bows to the Taco Nature in you.


Does a dog have Taco Nature?

Mu!

[arcticpenguin]

Originally posted by Plutarck
We are all a part of the Taco, and the Taco is all a part of us.

Who gets to be the guacomole?

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Plutarck
Does a dog have Taco Nature?

This is an interesting question, but I ask you, have you ever fed a dog a taco? It is obvious to me that the dog and the taco reject each other.

[CSSMariner]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


This is an interesting question, but I ask you, have you ever fed a dog a taco? It is obvious to me that the dog and the taco reject each other.

Not my dogs or my tacos for that matter. But of course my dogs also like Jose Quervo and salt on their paws with lemons on the side, and play mariachi music all the time. They are water Spaniels, so their parents must have swam the Rio Grande to get here.

[evildave]

And just now for lunch, I had leftover chicken (of which there was much) in a folded flour tortilla with cheese, tomatoes, onions and salsa.

This 4-10 weekly work schedule I'm on is growing on me.

[KillerX]

After reading this whole thread I thought that tacoism was just another cult in a long line of cults vying for my attention but then I had an epiphany. I was reading about the Chinese space program and they have named their space travelers "Taikonauts". From the land of the eggroll comes evidence for GTITS, for why else would the be named "Taikonauts" and why else would they be going into space? I believe that they are not on a quest for humanity or national pride but that they are in search of GTITS, and once they have found GTITS, they shall hold the world hostage. Are we going to let this happen? People wanted a goal for space, now we have one.

VIVA LA SPACE RACE!!!!!

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by KillerX
After reading this whole thread I thought that tacoism was just another cult in a long line of cults vying for my attention but then I had an epiphany. I was reading about the Chinese space program and they have named their space travelers "Taikonauts". From the land of the eggroll comes evidence for GTITS, for why else would the be named "Taikonauts" and why else would they be going into space? I believe that they are not on a quest for humanity or national pride but that they are in search of GTITS, and once they have found GTITS, they shall hold the world hostage. Are we going to let this happen? People wanted a goal for space, now we have one.

VIVA LA SPACE RACE!!!!!

Ahh, young one, welcome to the fold. May I ask, when was your last taco?

[KillerX]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


Ahh, young one, welcome to the fold. May I ask, when was your last taco? Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been many moons since my last taco. I am working to remedy this abomination presently.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by KillerX
Forgive me father for I have sinned, it has been many moons since my last taco. I am working to remedy this abomination presently.

Fear not, Tacoism does not require that you eat tacos everyday, only that you hold that the taco is the greatest of foods.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


Fear not, Tacoism does not require that you eat tacos everyday, only that you hold that the taco is the greatest of foods. Well, it's true, but where, oh where, does this leave Pizza?

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
Well, it's true, but where, oh where, does this leave Pizza?
It is the anti-food.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
Well, it's true, but where, oh where, does this leave Pizza?

Tacoism is not like burritology or eggrollo which require that their food be the only consumed. Pizza, and other italian dishes, may be revered but the taco is above all.

[arcticpenguin]

Pizza-ism is a bizarre offshoot descended from a line of stupid Taco-ites who forgot to curl their shells. It should not be discussed in polite company.

[Tricky]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
Tacoism is not like burritology or eggrollo which require that their food be the only consumed. Pizza, and other italian dishes, may be revered but the taco is above all.
That is a dangerous mistake to make. I have seen shell-less youths consume pizza to the exclusion of all other foods. Their dorm rooms are littered with the evidence of their apostasy. Many a soul was lost to pizzists who refused to hold the hold the taco supreme.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Tricky

That is a dangerous mistake to make. I have seen shell-less youths consume pizza to the exclusion of all other foods. Their dorm rooms are littered with the evidence of their apostasy. Many a soul was lost to pizzists who refused to hold the hold the taco supreme.

Ahh, but is this the fault of the pizza or of the bread? Youth will see the meat and cheese and tomato sauce and think "taco". but the crust, soft and warm can be so inviting. On their own, children will begin to miss the tortilla and return to see the taco for what it is. The problem is when charismatic pizzists like Mr. Gattis and Pizza the Hut lure them with half-truths and glistening baked cheese.

[Plutarck]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
Well, it's true, but where, oh where, does this leave Pizza?

You can fold a pizza and thus it shows itself to have Taco Nature. However, you cannot so turn the Taco into a pizza. It is proof of the Fundamental Taco Nature.

A calzone or stromboli similarly shows itself to have Taco Nature.

[Simon Bar Sinister]

Uh-oh, looks like you guys were right!!!!




http://images.southparkstudios.com/img/content/news/1289a.jpg

Episode 704 heads off seven new episodes of South Park!

Premiere Date: March 19th 2003
Episode Title: "Cancelled"

The boys discover Earth is nothing but one big intergalactic reality show and it’s about to be canceled when "South Park" returns for its seventh season on Wednesday, March 19 at 10:00 p.m. on Comedy Central

With a nod to the first episode of South Park, the satellite dish in Cartman’s ass has been reactivated. The question of "Visitors" in the small mountain town is finally answered when the aliens return to wrap up one of their longest running reality shows, "Earth". Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny, yes Kenny, are once again trapped in space and it’s up to them to save the planet from annihilation.

[evildave]

Are there any tacos involved?

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by evildave
Are there any tacos involved?

Tacos are involved in all things, it is how the taconess is revealed that is the key.

[Roadtoad]

One must indeed wonder what the GTITS must think of his followers this day, sitting about, waiting for South Park episodes, and all this amidst discussions of Chalupas, Fajitas, Pizzas... (Okay, that last one, I brought up. I'll own up to that one.)

One must remember, however, that the Taco is all, and all is Taco. (And served with Enchiladas, chile rellenos, rice and beans, it's a combo plate....)

BTW: Did you hear about what they're doing with liposuction now? They pull the fat off women's butts, and put it in a higher postion. (Now, if she eats frijoles, things could get a lot bigger. Of course, that could be both a blessing, and a curse...)

[Roadtoad]

Then again, if we all returned to the One True Food, perhaps this might not even be a question in the first place...

[evildave]

But like there must be EVIL for you to appreciate GOOD, there must be other foods for you to better appreciate Tacos.

[Dragonrock]

Foods only become evil when they are eaten for themselves and not for the taco they represent. All foods are filled with taco nature and the taco must be remembered at every meal. The only food that contains no taco-nature is sauerkraut and that's just cause it's icky.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock
Foods only become evil when they are eaten for themselves and not for the taco they represent. All foods are filled with taco nature and the taco must be remembered at every meal. The only food that contains no taco-nature is sauerkraut and that's just cause it's icky.

Clearly, you've never had it on a chili dog with onions, relish, and hot sauce...

[evildave]

And a hotdog bun does have a taco nature about it.

I like sauerkraut, and I like kimche, too.

Cabbage is a good taco topping, even when it isn't pickled.

I like fish tacos. These have cabbage when made properly.

[Roadtoad]

What, dear friends, do we make of the Choco Taco?

[evildave]

I don't know.

Describe this "Choco Taco".

[Roadtoad]

It's a chocolate sugar cone taco shell, with vanilla ice cream and chocolate topping with nuts. It looks like a taco, but it's actually a very decadent ice cream treat.

Think of it as a Drumstick as concieved by a tacoist.

[evildave]

Sounds yummy...

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Roadtoad
It's a chocolate sugar cone taco shell, with vanilla ice cream and chocolate topping with nuts. It looks like a taco, but it's actually a very decadent ice cream treat.

Think of it as a Drumstick as concieved by a tacoist.

Ahh, the Choco Taco, real proof that all foods have a Taco nature. Chocolate, ice cream, all deserts. The joys of Tacoism are a wonder to behold.

[BillyTK]

Originally posted by evildave
Are there any tacos involved?

YOU don't want tacos. The laws of physics (TLOP) wants tacos. YOU are made of TLOP therefore YOU ARE MADE OF TACOS.

:eek:

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by BillyTK


YOU don't want tacos. The laws of physics (TLOP) wants tacos. YOU are made of TLOP therefore YOU ARE MADE OF TACOS.

:eek:

You don't understand the nature of Tacoism. I will repeat the true Tacoism sillygism.

the GTITS wrote the ATR
the ATR describes the OTI
the OTI fills the Taco
you eat the Taco
the Taco gets dumped in the toilet
you flush the toilet
the toilet.. um...I lost my place...

[BillyTK]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


You don't understand the nature of Tacoism. I will repeat the true Tacoism sillygism.

the GTITS wrote the ATR
the ATR describes the OTI
the OTI fills the Taco
you eat the Taco
the Taco gets dumped in the toilet
you flush the toilet
the toilet.. um...I lost my place...

The taco which can be named is not the true taco...

:p

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by BillyTK


The taco which can be named is not the true taco...

:p

The Taco upon which all Tacos are based is the Great Taco In The Sky. His name is upspoken, but his ingredients are known.

[BillyTK]

Are you claiming that the taco causes eating, a-tacoist? Or do you accept that eating causes taco?

:eek:

:D

[Dragonrock]

I am say Tacos simply are. In eating the Taco, the Taco becomes us. All foods are Taco in some form. The Taco is the greatest of foods. This is the truth of the ATR and all other statements are silly babbling of a-tacoists.

[Kashyapa]

Don't try to eat the taco. That's impossible. You must realize that it is not the taco that gets eaten, it is only yourself.

Ha! That's one cheezy modified Matrix quote for the day.

[evildave]

A taco without cheese is not a true taco.

Be sure to put some cheese on your choco taco. Maybe some cheesecake...

[Kashyapa]

Ah yes, but is it cheddar or monterey jack? This is the true question.

[BillyTK]

No a-tacoist can eat a whole taco. You eat half the taco and you have half left. You eat half of that taco and there is still half left. You eat half of that and there will ALWAYS be half left.

Such is the way of the Taco!

Unless you stuff it all in your gob first...

[Kashyapa]

Is the taco half eaten or half uneaten? And does the world end if you just eat it in one go?

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Kashyapa
Is the taco half eaten or half uneaten? And does the world end if you just eat it in one go?

You pose an interesting question.

When you eat the Taco is it gone? Or does it become you?

Does the Taco become us? Or do we become the Taco?

The second Taco I see remaining on my plate, is it more or less Taco than the first? Or is it simply a different Taco, but still the same?

Soft or hard? Beef or chicken? Shredded or ground? These are all questions of the Taco.

[Kashyapa]

Grok the taco.

[Vorticity]

Originally posted by Kashyapa
Grok the taco.
Thou art Taco.

[Kashyapa]

Greetings, tacobrother. May you never go tacoless.

[c4ts]

Other foods give your gravitons a negative spin, causing you to gain weight until you are forced to go on the Die-T, while tacos give your gravitons a positive spin, which allows you to lose weight until you reach Tacocendence.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by c4ts
Other foods give your gravitons a negative spin, causing you to gain weight until you are forced to go on the Die-T, while tacos give your gravitons a positive spin, which allows you to lose weight until you reach Tacocendence.

Okay, I got the part about Tacocendence. Can you explain the rest of it, though?

God, I want a taco so bad right now. With guacamole...

[evildave]

With hot sauce a-plenty.

Habanero, Jalapeno, or both?

Maybe just purified 100% capsaicin suspended in a little bit of oil.


And what of the heathens who, given a soft taco, wrap it into a little burrito?

[Kashyapa]

Clearly they missed the First Commandment of Tacoism: thou shalt not wrap tacos into little burritos. Heathen scum, they must be posessed by Texas.

Let us pray: Our taco, who art on my plate, hallowed be thy filling. Thy spiciness be hot, in the meat as well as hot sauce. Give us this day our daily crispy shell, and forgive us our flaulence, as we forgive those who flatulate around us. And lead us not into tex-mex, but deliver us some carnitas. Amen.

[c4ts]

Originally posted by Roadtoad


Okay, I got the part about Tacocendence. Can you explain the rest of it, though?

God, I want a taco so bad right now. With guacamole...

You are made of atoms.
Atoms obey the taco.
Therefore you obey the taco!

[Dragonrock]

I've often wondered, Do you think Elvis liked tacos?

[evildave]

Well, as Mojo Nixon so elegantly put it...

"Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the king!

Man, oh Man what I want you to see
Is that the Big E's inside o' you and me!"

Clearly, Elvis must of Taco, and Taco must be of Elvis, for these words to be true.

Uhh-huh!

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by evildave
Well, as Mojo Nixon so elegantly put it...

"Elvis is everywhere,
Elvis is everything,
Elvis is everybody,
Elvis is still the king!

Man, oh Man what I want you to see
Is that the Big E's inside o' you and me!"

Clearly, Elvis must of Taco, and Taco must be of Elvis, for these words to be true.

Uhh-huh!

So you're saying that the Great Taco In The Sky is in the sky, and Elvis is here on Earth and that they are both the same. Elvis must have been sent to Earth by the GTITS to show us the way of the Taco. He even died on the toilet that we might better understand the true nature of the Taco. Man, this is so cool.

I need a new avatar! Where can I find a picture of Elvis holding a taco?

[Kashyapa]

There is no taco but Taco, and Elvis is its prophet. :D

Maybe you could photoshop elvis with a taco? Hmm.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by Kashyapa
There is no taco but Taco, and Elvis is its prophet. :D

Maybe you could photoshop elvis with a taco? Hmm.

You're right, I need to change my sig.

As for the avatar, I have the artistic skills of a half-blind baby seal so I'll have to stick with what I've got.

[Roadtoad]

Uh, HUH!!:cool:

[evildave]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


You're right, I need to change my sig.

As for the avatar, I have the artistic skills of a half-blind baby seal so I'll have to stick with what I've got.


Something like this?

[Kashyapa]

Proof that there is indeed good in the world. The great Taco has bestowed this holy image upon us.

[evildave]

I saw it on a tortilla.

[Kashyapa]

On a tortilla!!!! I wish to make a pilgrimage to this blessed tortilla.

[Dragonrock]

Originally posted by evildave


http://members.sti.net/evildave/Taco-Elvis.gif

Something like this?

Oh, my heart is racing and my eyes are tearing. You have truly found the most holy of images! As I gaze apon it's visage I understand what the GTITS has meant by all he has said. My life is complete and a great hunger is upon me. I'm off to listen to my Elvis CDs and gorge myself on Tacos!!

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by Dragonrock


Oh, my heart is racing and my eyes are tearing. You have truly found the most holy of images! As I gaze apon it's visage I understand what the GTITS has meant by all he has said. My life is complete and a great hunger is upon me. I'm off to listen to my Elvis CDs and gorge myself on Tacos!!

Hey, don't bogart all the hot sauce!!!

(Having tacos tonight for dinner! Is life good or what!?!?!?!:D

[evildave]

You're welcome!

As for the pilgrimage, it's convenient to Yosemite, but it'll cost you a dollar to see it.

[Kashyapa]

No amount of money would be too much to see the Blessed Tortilla. Hell, I coughed up twenty bucks to see Buddy Holly in a quesadilla a few years back.

[evildave]

O darn. I ate it.

[Roadtoad]

Originally posted by evildave
O darn. I ate it.

SACRILEGE! How could you have done that, EvilDave! To have actually eaten a quesadilla with the benign and sacred image of Buddy upon it?

Now, if it had been an image of maybe Natalie Merchant...

[Upchurch]

:bump2

Bumping a classic piece of JREF/R&P history which I had totally forgotten about.

[Tricky]

In Las Vegas, they're getting all upset because of a new restaurant that has opened. It's called, The Pink Taco (http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory?id=1965811).

[Mercutio]

The Scottsdale City Council is scheduled to decide Monday whether to recommend the restaurant get a liquor license. If granted, the restaurant's application would then be sent to the state liquor board for review.
"Calling Bette Midler to the witness stand..."

[Tricky]

The Scottsdale City Council is scheduled to decide Monday whether to recommend the restaurant get a liquor license. If granted, the restaurant's application would then be sent to the state liquor board for review.
Hmm.... Liquor Taco. I see possibilities...

[Roadtoad]

Man, I miss Evil Dave.

As to the city of Scottsdale: Geez, people, GET A LIFE!!!

[Kopji]

Nearly half a dozen people in the upscale city recently expressed their objection to the name, claiming it's a derogatory slang term for a portion of the female anatomy.

In late April, the city received four e-mails, three of which bore no names, objecting to the restaurant's name.

So being gracious and not counting the four e-mails as part of the other 'half dozen', we have 10 or so really upset people. Must be a slow news day.

[Kopji]

I had a fried tortilla with an angel shape burned on it, but my son got hungry and ate it.

[Roadtoad]

I want a taco.

[Tricky]

Bumped because of the Peanut Butter Apostasy.

[Roadtoad]

Not the dreaded PEANUT BUTTER APOSTASY!

[Tricky]

Not the dreaded PEANUT BUTTER APOSTASY!
The same! Nobody expects the Peanut Butter Apostasy.

[Roadtoad]

The same! Nobody expects the Peanut Butter Apostasy.

The horror of it all! Next thing you know, we'll be up to our peanuts in grape jelly heretics!

[Tricky]

The horror of it all! Next thing you know, we'll be up to our peanuts in grape jelly heretics!
Grape!!!!:mad:

Infidel! Everyone knows that Strawberry is the true companion of Peanut Butter!

...um... not that I am denying the holiness of GTITS. (Great Taco In The Sky.)

[Roadtoad]

Yes, but let us remember: Even the Great Taco In The Sky appreciates variety.

Just not grape jelly. (Ew.)

Honey is good on occasion, though. Especially if you let it sit for a couple of minutes before you eat it. It gets crusty, and tastes great. It's not a taco, but it'll do in a pinch.

[Aardvark]

You tacoists should repent and turn to the true devinity of.......


The Kebab

Honour to the charcoal grilled sikh kebab lain bare with onion lettuce and yoghurt raita upon the freshly thrown and tandooried nan bread


It's a British thing!!!!!

oops, do I mean Indian?? ( no not native American)

[David Swidler]

Ah, but to be properly consumed, the kebab is encased by the nan, and thus is merely a manifestation of Taco, albeit in non-Western form. The same can be said of shwarma.

[Upchurch]

What is the gyro but a greek taco?

[Roadtoad]

Tacos are tacos. And only tacos will now and forever be tacos. (Sheesh! I have to explain this!?!?)

(Not bad for a mere bump.)

[Tricky]

Tacos are tacos. And only tacos will now and forever be tacos. (Sheesh! I have to explain this!?!?)

(Not bad for a mere bump.)
You are saying they are taceternal?

[Roadtoad]

Precisely, Bearer of the Chipotle.

[Tricky]

Precisely, Bearer of the Chipotle.
I am learning so much Master.

But today I had a taco... nay... three tacos from a small oil-encrusted temple by the roadside. And yea, when I returned from my meditation, I was an abomination in the eyes of my co-workers, for indeed I was posessed of a mephitic demon who cried loudly and odorously from my nether end. And lo, in the fullness of time I have come to sit upon the throne of wisdom for long passages of time, cleansing my burning soul hole with the ritual of Charm-enn.

Is this a message from GTITS, or have I strayed across a false priest of Tacoism? I wish to find enlightenment, because the tacos of the Temple of Grease were damn tasty.

[Roadtoad]

I am learning so much Master.

But today I had a taco... nay... three tacos from a small oil-encrusted temple by the roadside. And yea, when I returned from my meditation, I was an abomination in the eyes of my co-workers, for indeed I was posessed of a mephitic demon who cried loudly and odorously from my nether end. And lo, in the fullness of time I have come to sit upon the throne of wisdom for long passages of time, cleansing my burning soul hole with the ritual of Charm-enn.

Is this a message from GTITS, or have I strayed across a false priest of Tacoism? I wish to find enlightenment, because the tacos of the Temple of Grease were damn tasty.

Nay, my fellow Tacoist. The tacos were truly the real deal, but one must ask if thou hast strayed in the day before, for if thou hast strayed and bent one's knee before the falsehood of Pizza, (worse yet if said deviation was of a vegetarian kind), that, indeed, would result in the arrival of the Flatulent One, bane of all that is Taco.

[Tricky]

Nay, my fellow Tacoist. The tacos were truly the real deal, but one must ask if thou hast strayed in the day before, for if thou hast strayed and bent one's knee before the falsehood of Pizza, (worse yet if said deviation was of a vegetarian kind), that, indeed, would result in the arrival of the Flatulent One, bane of all that is Taco.
I admit I have strayed occasionally into the den/parlor of Pizza, yet I have never committed the ultimate sin of veggieism. Yea, a mushroom, an onion, even an olive, but without pepperoni or ham or at least some of the flesh of a shamanic guide? Never!

(Of late, I avoide the red flakes, lest I do Charm-ennic pennance again.)

[fuelair]

All hail Chipotle, Goddess of smoke and fire!

[empeake]

Hear me, oh blasphemers, heathens, and misguided souls, for the true mysteries of the Taco shall be revealed unto you.

I come from the Holy Land, where Tlaxcalli1 is queen, with words of wisdom to mend your erred ways.

Destroy the false Temple of the Bell. Renounce the hard-shell impostor and embrace the true Taco and Its path to sacrosanct pleasure. The road is long, but the rewards are plentiful.

Let it be known that the Taco's earthly manifestations vary greatly in form and substance. The Taco may be everywhere, but Its home and place of worship is the taquería2. There, It will be delivered unto you by the taquero3, and Its flesh will be become your flesh. This communion, the holiest of ceremonies, may be consecrated with many of the sacred sauces, and garnished with select herbs and spices.

To properly adore the Taco, you must remember that the taquería is a sacred place. Although modern conventions allow for the ritual of becoming One with the Taco to be performed while seated, tradition states that it should be performed standing up, as a sign of respect.

The ancient codexes of the Náhuatl reveal some of the secrets of the ritual:

You must know how to make or receive the Taco. Take It in lovingly in your hand, with the thumb and pinky on the bottom, and the index and ring finger on top, to ensure the Taco retains Its form and essence.
In sign of reverence, bend your upper body forward to perform a 45-degree bow. This action will also protect your clothes. If wearing a tie, you shall tuck in your shirt, as any contact of the tie with the Taco is heresy.
You shall learn to balance your body perfectly, so you may hold your plate and drink in your other hand and complete the communion.
You shall know the proper names and liturgical nuances of each of the Taco's forms and styles, so the taquero may understand your prayers.
You must master the timing of your prayers, so the Taco may be delivered unto you without waste or hesitation.
You shall correctly tally the number and type of communions. At the end of the ceremony, you shall confess your sin of gluttony to the taquero, and he will impose penance. Those unprepared to repent, and those with the intent to deceive the Almighty, shall suffer the consequences.

I am the Prophet of Nixtamal, and I shall be your guide to enlightenment.

1 The name for tortilla in the codexes of the Náhuatl.
2 Traditionally, a small shrine where the Taco was revered. Nowadays, it also includes different types of places of worship, from the humble street stand to magnificent restaurants.
3 The supreme priest, knower of the Rites of the Taco, and Its divine server on Earth.

[Dragonrock]

The only papers that truely tell of the Taco are the Ancient Taco Recipe and the Dead Sea Tortillias. You Latter Day Tacoists have invented scripture that's based on the incoherent ramblings of a man who woke up with a hangover and a three day pizza and Miller Light binge.

Do not turn your back on the GTITS. Elvis is the ONLY prophet of the Taco.

[FireGarden]

I wanted a taco last night.

Yet I'm still here. Near death experience? You decide.

But he's dead to this board now.
Proof, if any be needed, that before checking out of the Great Hotel we shall cry out for a Taco.





(Yes, he did cry out. Not just want one!)

[Roadtoad]

I HAD a taco last night. And it was Good!

[Dragonrock]

As are they all, brother, as are they all...

[Darth Rotor]

Wussies.

REAL TACOISTS put HABANERO sauce on their REAL TACOS, made with CORN tortillas. And the meat must be shredded, either beef, chicken or pork, but NEVER hamburger! Tomatoes are permissible if you're serving sissies or little kids, or (shudder!) Easterners.

Burritos: If you can get both your hands around it, it's not a burrito.

Sheesh! I'm stuck hanging with a bunch of anarchic, heathen, BLASPHEMERS!
Preach it brother, and wash the Taco down with Tequila, for it is written, in El Libro della Tortilla, The Last Munchy Session took place thusly:

And holding up her pottery shotglass, Margarita Magdemhot said to the twelve Asadas:

"Take this, my Tequila, and drink it, for it is my precious bodily fluid."

And the Asadas all drank of the Tequila.

And then she presented her most holy Taco and said:
"Then take this, my Taco, and dine upon it, for it is my flesh."

And so they did, with great vigor.

As the Tequila was ingested, the Asadas began to grow weary and fall into a stupor, but one Asada snuck out, having run out of patience in having to wait for his serving of the taco. In his wrath he alerted the leader of the Flannabees, who sent forth their agents to abscond with Margarita Magdemhot. The Asadas, having passed out, missed the abduction.

She was never seen again, though rumor has it that she was hawking burritos some years later in Cadiz, but was persecuted and ended up fleeing to Marseilles. No matter, the Asadas all knew the truth when they heard it, so they went foth and spread the word of the most holy Taco, which has been passed along via the sacred oral tradition.

ETA:

Fixed, Dr. :p

DR

[Dragonrock]

Excuse me, there is only one "DR" who writes of Taco scripture, and his first name ain't Darth.

It is easy to see the sacrilege in your post due to the simple fact that you failed to capitalize "Taco".

Begone foolish a-Tacoist, your mindless babblings are not needed here.

[Darth Rotor]

There is no taco but Taco, and Elvis is its prophet. :D
Damned radical Isyummists!

DR

[Darth Rotor]

Excuse me, there is only one "DR" who writes of Taco scripture, and his first name ain't Darth.

It is easy to see the sacrilege in your post due to the simple fact that you failed to capitalize "Taco".

Begone foolish a-Tacoist, your mindless babblings are not needed here.
Hah, so you say, you chauvinist pawn of Elvista Orthodoxy! As you are no doubt aware, the Naught Habanero scrolls were found in the 1950's. They contained profound revelations of so called "non canonical" scriptures, which of course had been suppressed by the Councel of Nopizza in the early 4th century. El Libro della Tortilla is every bit as valid a scribbling on a dried out old Taco shell as your alleged Libro Del Taco. Note that even the name of the book containing your ATR is heretical!

A pox upon your so called Orthodoxy, your animal worship of a small Chihuahua, and your cult of the Bell. Your iconagraphy will serve you no better than a blind, one handed taquero. If you fail to be reborn in Taco and Tequila goodness, then you shall be tormented for eternity with plate after plate of soft, flour tortillas filled with ground turkey, avacado, sour cream, and tomatoes (cubed) but no spices.

Repent, confess you idol worshipping, and make the New Covenant with the Tequila, before it is too late!

DR

[Dragonrock]

How Dare you accusing me of consorting with the Bellians! Those who combine the holy name of Taco with the horror that is "bell" shall burn in the fires of Tabasco for all eternity! The only recognized Taco scripture is the Ancient Taco Recipe, which was scrawled on a cocktail napkin by the Great Taco In The Sky himself.

Elvis is proof the the GTITS love for food. After consuming enough he felt the spirit move within him and he left he body to feast upon the never-ending goodness of the Great Taco In The sky.

[Freethinker]

All of you Tacoists will surely burn in hell for denying the one, TRUE god, The Flying Spaghetti Monster. May His noodly goodness be upon you Tacoist heathens.

[Dragonrock]

Why would anyone want a slimy noodle when there are choices like crunchy or soft Tacos?

FSM sucks the big one.

[Freethinker]

Why would anyone want a slimy noodle when there are choices like crunchy or soft Tacos?

FSM sucks the big one.

Blasphemer! If you would just open your eyes to the truth, you could be touched by His noodly appendage.

[Dinsdale Piranha]

Tacoists rejoice!

Guitarist Scott Henderson spreads the taco gospel for all to hear.

See disc 1, track #7. It's an instrumental, but you can hear the crispy, spicy goodness in his shredding.


Details and MP3 clip here: http://www.guitar9.com/livesh.html

[Upchurch]

I'd ask why this ancient thread got bumped, but I think I know. :o

[Darth Rotor]

I'd ask why this ancient thread got bumped, but I think I know. :o
MUAHAHAHAHAHA!

A little linkage is a dangerous thing. ;)

How Dare you accusing me of consorting with the Bellians! Those who combine the holy name of Taco with the horror that is "bell" shall burn in the fires of Tabasco for all eternity!
Splitter!

May the GTITS have mercy on your mole.

DR

[Kopji]

If I had a taco swell
It would save me from the fires of Bell
And as I ate my tasty treat
A fast food clown I did meet

He looked at me with drooling glee
chilantro, onions, lettuce, cheese
Hard, soft, nine inches wide
A taco is always by my side

And so the clown he went away
(I'll bet you thought this rhymed with gay)
satisfied, and my taco shared
the pasta dudes could only stare

[Roadtoad]

Bumped, to save your heathen souls.

[Kopji]

I miss evildave.

[Roadtoad]

Ditto, however, we must keep the faith.

Yea, we shall forever venerate his memory, consuming our tacos with true abandon, remembering the sacred mantra, Chipotle, for all our days upon this hallowed orb, seeking the truth that is the One, the Only, Great Taco In The Sky, for all is Taco, and the Taco is all.

[Hokulele]

This thread explains quite a bit about this forum.

[Hamsterfan]

Oh my goodness. I am so glad you guys bumped this so I could read it. My abs will ache for days from the laughter that this inane yet highly serious discussion has wrought upon me.

[Roadtoad]

This thread explains quite a bit about this forum.

Of course it does! It reveals the sanctity and reverence with which those in the know regard the GTITS! It truly is part and parcel of the JREF experience, (not to be confused with the Jimi Hendrix Experience), and shows how the Flying Spaghetti Monster is nothing more than a figment of the fevered imaginations of heathen devils who have yet to experience the True Love of the GTITS.

I say we burn them at the stake.

[Hokulele]

I say we burn them at the stake.


Nah, drown 'em in cheap mezcal. Pass the guacamole, amigo!

[Freethinker]

Obviously the mods and admins are all Tacoists since they let the Tacoists get away with things that would result in instant banning for a follower of the Noodly One. Burning at the stake? Drowning in cheap Mezcal? (I tried that once, only the Mezcal was on the inside. Bad idea.) We FSMers only want everyone to experience the joy of our Noodly Master. Heathen devil indeed!

[Kopji]

Hymn 89 (From the taco hymnal)
To the tune of "I hate Bosco"

I love tacos
tacos good for me
mommy fills me up with them
until I have to pee

feed me tacos
riding in my car
taco taco everywhere
a traveling taco bar

Taco Bell, Taco Dell, lift them high
go to heaven

Amen

[Dragonrock]

Hymn 89 (From the taco hymnal)
To the tune of "I hate Bosco"

I love tacos
tacos good for me
mommy fills me up with them
until I have to pee

feed me tacos
riding in my car
taco taco everywhere
a traveling taco bar

Taco Bell, Taco Dell, lift them high
go to heaven

Amen

I think you missed some important parts of this thread. It is only the heathen that would mix the horrible word "bell" with the divine that is Taco.

[linusrichard]

What a strange strange thread. If anyone is confused, I hope this helps:

Link (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-XuMvxi-vc)

Not the mediocre video, but the excellent song.

Edit:

Well, I guess I screwed up the embedment. It's here (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-XuMvxi-vc), anyway.

Second Edit:

I fixed the embedment, but it still doesn't work: "Embedding disabled by request." Okay.

[fishkr]

[QUOTE=empeake;1783128]Hear me, oh blasphemers, heathens, and misguided souls, for the true mysteries of the Taco shall be revealed unto you.

[/LIST]
I am the Prophet of Nixtamal, and I shall be your guide to enlightenment.



I think I hear the voice of Truth in your post. I will submit, and shall become your Taco Apostle, as long as you share a recipe or two . . .

M

[Kopji]

I think you missed some important parts of this thread. It is only the heathen that would mix the horrible word "bell" with the divine that is Taco.

It would save me from the fires of Bell

That is an attempt to compare the 'Bell that must not be named' to, well, Hell. Hey, even Christians sing about Satan. :)

[Dragonrock]

It would save me from the fires of Bell

That is an attempt to compare the 'Bell that must not be named' to, well, Hell. Hey, even Christians sing about Satan. :)

I spoke to the GTITS, he said that you should eat 2 Tacos and 1 chalupa and that all would be forgiven.

[Darth Rotor]

I just had a difficult theological discussion with a member of the pernicious Fajita Heresey.

Like an oversized flour tortilla, he folded when I laid down the lard on him, and followed up with the mezcal.

DR