Jehovah's Witnesses urban legends

[Abdul Alhazred]

JW little old lady with little girl in tow knocks on door. Irritated skeptic man answers door naked. Little old lady covers girl's eyes with her hands and delivers her JW shpiel. Man is so impressed he buys a magazine and later becomes a JW.

JW middle aged man knocks on door. Irritated skeptic man answers door and coldly informs JW that he is a Satanist. JW says "I was a Satanist, I know Satanists, and buddy you're no Satanist!". Man is so impressed he buys a magazine and later becomes a JW.

Any others? :p

[jimmygun]

JW little old lady with grandaughter in tow knocks on door. Irritated man in his underwear opens door and lets the old lady have it right between the eyes. Old lady fades back almost losing conciousness but recovers enough to send a boot up into the man's groin. Man grabs private parts and falls to his knees where seven year old girl delivers a devastating spinning kick to the man's adam's apple. Man is so impressed he buys a magazine and becomes JW.

[Peter Jenkins]

JW little old lady with grandaughter in tow knocks on door. No one home, but dog somehow manages to jump up at door and knock latch open. Suprised JW carries on regardless and delivers her JW shpiel. Dog is so impressed he grabs a magazine with his teeth and later becomes a JW.

[Chupacabras]

JW old lady and beautiful daughter knock on door. Chupacabras' wife opens and they leave without a word. Chupacabras' wife drives off to the market. JW's beautiful daughter comes back, opens door and enters by herself and nobody can see what goes on inside, but Chupacabras is somehow converted.

[Ignatius]

JW twins knock at the door. Irritated skeptic man answers door naked. Twins blush and look at each other, "Boy, it sure is warm out here."

Irritated man apologizes and invites them in for some lemonaid...


Womp, chicka-chicka, WOMP, WOMP
Womp, chicka-chicka, WOMP, WOMP

[Filippo Lippi]

JW pair come to door, atheist apologises, but says he is on the point of leaving the house. JWs ask, "what about the evil in the world today," atheist joins them on the step, locking the door behind him. JWs say, "surely you have some time to save your soul?" Atheist says, "sorry again, I'm late and my girlfriend is waiting." JWs walk off, aetheist gets on racing bike, descends steep driveway, poorly inflated front tyre meets gravel and front of bike slips, atheist cuts palms of both hands, not badly, but there is blood everywhere. JW remembering the word of the lord and the teachings of the bible, er, stare for a bit and then walk off.

B*****ds.

(I was that atheist, if you haven't already guessed)