Order your Easter Candy now!

[shemp]

Does anyone else see the irony in this?

CROSS-SHAPED SUCKERS (http://www.orientaltrading.com/otcweb/application?namespace=browse&origin=categoryDisplay.jsp&event=link.itemDetails&sku=5/683&mode=Browsing&catDestinationJSP=/browse/categoryForward.jsp?categoryId=342726)

http://a248.e.akamai.net/7/248/5592/v61/image.orientaltrading.com/images/5_683a.jpg

[rachaella]

This reminds me of a "non-denominational" Christian that my mother dated. His family would only eat chocolate crosses at easter. I found this quite ironic, almost to the point of sacreligious. Not long after I found out about this, I noticed that one store I was at around Easter had chocolate crosses with christ on them! This took the cake.

[espritch]

Well, if you can eat the body of Christ and drink his blood at communion, why not lick the cross while you're at it? That way you get a full meal plus dessert.

[rachaella]

Good point. I suppose eating a likeness of christ doesn't really compare to eating him.

[shemp]

If I'm going to eat Christ, I'd prefer Roast Leg of Christ with Bearnaise Sauce.

[rachaella]

Bernaise sauce has raw eggs, I'd rather have some christ au jus.

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by shemp
CROSS-SHAPED SUCKERS (http://www.orientaltrading.com/otcweb/application?namespace=browse&origin=categoryDisplay.jsp&event=link.itemDetails&sku=5/683&mode=Browsing&catDestinationJSP=/browse/categoryForward.jsp?categoryId=342726)

http://a248.e.akamai.net/7/248/5592/v61/image.orientaltrading.com/images/5_683a.jpg [/B]
Yum! :)

"Being a Christian never tasted so good"

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Yahweh

Yum! :)

"Being a Christian never tasted so good"

Wow, I'm almost ready to convert!

[Yahweh]

Originally posted by rachaella
Wow, I'm almost ready to convert!
Convert today and the S&H on your next box of suckers is waived! Can being a Christian get any better? *Beautiful female angel throws Yahweh the keys to a new Porsche* Why yes, yes it can!

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Yahweh

Convert today and the S&H on your next box of suckers is waived! Can being a Christian get any better? *Beautiful female angel throws Yahweh the keys to a new Porsche* Why yes, yes it can!

Well, I'm sold. What other culinary benefits do I get from being a christian? Do I get a free membership to the christian confection of the month club?

[Abdul Alhazred]

I am in touch with a being who can bring you chocolate. Chocolate crucifixes with anatomically correct suffering Christs, certified Kosher chocolate Decalogues, Mufti approved halal chocolate Kaabas, Lama approved chocolate Buddhas, chocolate Brahmas, Shivas, and Vishnus. Chocolate Apollos, Ptahs, Venusus, Adonises, Hermeses, Aphodites, Baphomets, Thors, Freyas, Dianas, Athenas, Lokis.

You gotta religion, You gotta chocolate!

If your religion or god isn't listed above, don't be offended, just contact me and I'll see what I can do.

You may contact me by means of sacrifice and prayer. What you sacrifice must be in keeping with what your god requires. :p

Your prayer must be sincere. Please direct all prayer to Abdul Alhazred care of, well you know.

(and if you don't, too bad) :p

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred
I am in touch with a being who can bring you chocolate. Chocolate crucifixes with anatomically correct suffering Christs, certified Kosher chocolate Decalogues, Mufti approved halal chocolate Kaabas, Lama approved chocolate Buddhas, chocolate Brahmas, Shivas, and Vishnus. Chocolate Apollos, Ptahs, Venusus, Adonises, Hermeses, Aphodites, Baphomets, Thors, Freyas, Dianas, Athenas, Lokis.

You gotta religion, You gotta chocolate!

If your religion or god isn't listed above, don't be offended, just contact me and I'll see what I can do.

You may contact me by means of sacrifice and prayer. What you sacrifice must be in keeping with what your god requires. :p

Your prayer must be sincere. Please direct all prayer to Abdul Alhazred care of, well you know.

(and if you don't, too bad) :p

I'd like to know where the chocolate Obi Wan Kenobi is for the Jedi religion.

[rachaella]

Or, maybe, even better, a chocolate Yoda.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by rachaella


I'd like to know where the chocolate Obi Wan Kenobi is for the Jedi religion.

If Jedi is truly a religion, it qualifies. Sacrifice and pray and I will answer you with chocolate. :p

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by rachaella
Or, maybe, even better, a chocolate Yoda.

If you feel that you are not getting enough chocolate, pray harder and sacrifice more.

If you're not sure you're sacrificing enough, just sacrifice everything in sight just to be on the safe side.

But you'd better be sure you're sacrificing to the diety of your choice in precisely the right manner.

Otherwise you might get something less pleasant than chocolate.

My roomate just woke up from the bathtub and shook the slime off him. At least he doesn't mess up my towels like lesser Vile Thing from the Inky Abyss would. And he's hungry.

Do I have to spell it out for you? :p

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred

Do I have to spell it out for you? :p

I'm afraid you do. I'll be here patiently waiting the arrival of my chocolate yoda.

I'm also interested in your chocolate selections for the deity of my choice. Could I also order a white chocolate Thor?

[DarkMagician]

Originally posted by shemp
Does anyone else see the irony in this?

CROSS-SHAPED SUCKERS (http://www.orientaltrading.com/otcweb/application?namespace=browse&origin=categoryDisplay.jsp&event=link.itemDetails&sku=5/683&mode=Browsing&catDestinationJSP=/browse/categoryForward.jsp?categoryId=342726)

http://a248.e.akamai.net/7/248/5592/v61/image.orientaltrading.com/images/5_683a.jpg And with every order of 50 or more, a free Jesus on a stick (c)(r)(tm)

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by rachaella


I'm afraid you do. I'll be here patiently waiting the arrival of my chocolate yoda.

I'm also interested in your chocolate selections for the deity of my choice. Could I also order a white chocolate Thor?

Anything you like. One soul please! :p

By the way, that means your own, but if you've something more to add, just fine. What do you want for it?

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred


Anything you like. One soul please! :p

By the way, that means your own, but if you've something more to add, just fine. What do you want for it?

I'd pay 2 sacrificed boars. How's that?

[c4ts]

Originally posted by rachaella
Good point. I suppose eating a likeness of christ doesn't really compare to eating him.

The Catholics are waaaaay ahead of you. But here at least people have the right idea. I wonder how Jesus's ribs would taste with barbecue sauce.

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by rachaella


I'd pay 2 sacrificed boars. How's that?

Which god do you want in chocolate? Some of them don't like pork. I'm sure it's OK by Thor, but Yoda looks a bit Jewish to me. It is said that his eyes are those of Einstein.

If your sacrifice was successful, you will by some means acquire the knowledge of where to deliver the other half of the price.

The other half is your soul. :p

[shemp]

Could I get one dozen dark chocolate Cthulhus please? With creamy raspberry filling?

[Abdul Alhazred]

Originally posted by shemp
Could I get one dozen dark chocolate Cthulhus please? With creamy raspberry filling?

No prob, Shemp. My roomate went out of his way to make the raspberry filling. It's quite a job to get fresh raspberries in North America this time of year, but not impossible.

Why a dozen with raspberry filling? Why not go for the assortment?

You must figure out my precise location to get what you desire. Hint: the method involves prayer and sacrifice.

Then deliver one soul (your own) to that location. You'll get a dozen yummy chocolates of your specification for that because I am such a sweetie-pie. But if you aren't in the mood to eat them all on the spot, you'd better bring a large truck. They are "life" size chocolate images of my buddy.

But if you want more it's a soul apiece, so you'd better have a method of extracting the souls of others.


http://www.findagrave.com/photos/101e/332/514_1007052341.jpg

OK you're obviously one of the undead. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Some of my best friends are of that persuasion.

If being undead means that you no longer have posession of your own soul, then I'm afraid one dozen chocolate Cthulus with raspberry filling must cost you one dozen souls of others. No use trying to pass off the soul of George Bush or Britney Spears as your own. My roommate can tell.

But how did you get out of there? Or did they put a computer with a 'net connection in there with you?

[rachaella]

Originally posted by Abdul Alhazred


Which god do you want in chocolate? Some of them don't like pork. I'm sure it's OK by Thor, but Yoda looks a bit Jewish to me. It is said that his eyes are those of Einstein.

If your sacrifice was successful, you will by some means acquire the knowledge of where to deliver the other half of the price.

The other half is your soul. :p

Is it okay if I mail you my soul? I can have it Fed-Exed there by wednesday.

[Upchurch]

Originally posted by shemp
http://a248.e.akamai.net/7/248/5592/v61/image.orientaltrading.com/images/5_683a.jpg Mmmm.... Blasphilicous!

[c4ts]

Originally posted by shemp
Could I get one dozen dark chocolate Cthulhus please? With creamy raspberry filling?

The filling is red, but it's not raspberry. It's BLOOD!

[rachaella]

Originally posted by c4ts


The filling is red, but it's not raspberry. It's BLOOD!

Well, duh, it's the blood of heathens.

[Skeptoid]

Originally posted by rachaella


Well, I'm sold. What other culinary benefits do I get from being a christian?
Jeez-its. Cabernet Saviornon. Antepastor salad. Roast leg of Lamb of God. Filet of soul. Peas on earth.

[c4ts]

Pun overload!! Brain... slowly... hemorraging...

[espritch]

And of course there are those old favorites Give Unto Caesar Salad and Blood of Christ Pudding.

[zakur]

Originally posted by rachaella
Well, I'm sold. What other culinary benefits do I get from being a christian? Lots of great stuff here: http://www.lordcocentre.com/

[c4ts]

I knew it!
http://www.lordcocentre.com/Stores/phlanx/125.html

[rachaella]

Well, wow. If I join God's Army, will I get to eat all of these tasty culinary christian delights on a daily basis and torture and kill heathens??!!

[c4ts]

And you'll have your very own corporate sponsor.

[neutrino_cannon]

Oh no! It's love disguised a cross poison... wait... candy disguised as poison... cross disguised as love...

It's such a waste, and you don't get much candy for the packaging 'cause of the shape.

[Skeptoid]

Originally posted by zakur
Lots of great stuff here: http://www.lordcocentre.com/
I joined the LordBoard as Baby Jeebus. I told them that their site made me want to cry and that my daddy is going to smite them. :D