Smart things teachers have said

[LibraryLady]

In reply to this thread (http://forums.randi.org/showthread.php?t=184703), which lists the stupid things that teachers have said over the years, I thought I'd start one where people could share the smart and/or useful things teachers have said.

When my brother was in high school, he flunked a semester of 10th grade English. My mother, ever vigilant, went up to have a conference with the teacher and my brother. When confronted with his poor grades and total lack of effort, my brother responded, "I'm going to be a scientist. What do I need to study English for?" Mr. Royer, of Baltimore Polytechnic Institute (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baltimore_Polytechnic_Institute) replied, "You can be the most brilliant scientist in the world, but if you cannot communicate what you discover, and make other people understand it, what good will it be?"

Hal buckled down and started getting Bs in English. He went on to be a brilliant nuclear physicist...with an intense love of poetry and literature.


When I was in 5th grade at Howard Park Elementary School, there was a girl in my class, Barbara, who was very sweaty. She literally dripped her way through recess. The other kids began to harass and bully her and slowly it became an organized thing. One day Miss Lang (who taught all the kids in my family in turn) asked for a volunteer to take a note to another teacher. Naturally every hand in the room shot up, and she chose Barbara. Once Barbara was out of the room Miss Lang turned to the rest of the class. "I've seen what you've been doing to Barbara," she said. "If it continues, I will punish anyone I see doing it. Leave her alone." There was a stunned silence. A few minutes later, Barbara returned, and class went on. Barbara didn't go on to be the most popular girl in the class, but she got along okay and the kids let her alone. There was no more bullying in Miss Lang's class.

Anyone else got stories?

[NobbyNobbs]

I've forgotten which teacher it was, or even which subject. I only know it was in response to a question I had and I didn't hear it until high school. It left such a mark on me that I used it whenever needed in my own classroom.

"I don't know, but I'll find out."

[rwguinn]

"Mr RW, if you see anyone shooting spitwads in class, would you ask them to buckle down and pay attention?" Ms Madden, Sophomore Geometry teacher...(forced to retire 2 years later at 70, she went on to teach at the community college for many years. Great teacher...)

[Fnord]

"Fnord, will you see me after class? I have a very special assignment for you... ;)"

I will be forever grateful to Mrs. Johnston for the lessons she gave me.

[bjornart]

I've forgotten which teacher it was, or even which subject. I only know it was in response to a question I had and I didn't hear it until high school. It left such a mark on me that I used it whenever needed in my own classroom.

"I don't know, but I'll find out."

I don't remember any particular teacher telling me that, maybe because I rarely asked them difficult questions, but I use it all the time.

I do remember a teacher telling us about how in his early days he got a question he didn't know the answer to and took a chance.

Student: "So we can live with only one kidney, and without a gall bladder, but can you live without a spleen?"

Teacher (not wanting to appear ignorant): "No, the spleen is essential."

Student: "They took mine out last year, I seem to be surviving fine."

[NoZed Avenger]

"No, YOU put YOUR gun down first."

[Quinn]

My eighth grade science teacher, upon introducing the subject of evolution, basically said: This is a topic that upsets some people because they think it goes against their religion. But this is a science class, and my job is to teach you science, and that's what I'm going to teach you – what science has learned about how life has evolved on this planet. If you would like to learn more about the Christian creation story, you can do it here [holds up a bible]. This will be on the shelf with the other books, and you're welcome to look at it any time or check it out to take home with you. But what we focus on in class is going to deal with the science of evolution.

Not bad for a public school in the suburban Midwest in the '80s. I occasionally wonder if kids in my home town are getting the same education now that there's a [*shudder*] Creation Museum less than an hour's drive away.

[Professor Yaffle]

I do.

Very smart of him.... and you didn't say it had to be in a teaching context.

[fuelair]

"No, YOU put YOUR gun down first."

Thinks like me:D!!

[seewhatflows]

"If you want to understand German grammar, you must think like a German."- Professor Judith Keyler-Mayer

[Blue Mountain]

In college, a teacher put up the following slide in the Systems Analysis and Design class:

Client: We wanted this report printed on 8-/12" x 11" paper, not 11" x 17".
Analyst: Why didn't you tell me?
Client: Why didn't you ask?

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

There are so many, it would take about 20 pages of this thread to recount them all. If not more. And that's just with my teachers.

The stupid things they have said, however, would also take about 20 pages to recount. If not more. And that's just with my teachers.

One smart thing: the kindly nice old CCD teacher (that's like Sunday school for Catholics, for those who do not know) told us that Jews, Muslims and others do not go to hell because God loves all people and all good people go to heaven and all bad people go to hell, regardless of their religion.

Of course, that's not what the Roman Catholic church teaches. They teach that Jews, Muslims and others do go to hell, even if they are otherwise good people.

Still, that woman was a very sweet lady who really wanted to teach us to do good, even if she apparently didn't know what her own church taught.

[Mark6]

"If you want to understand German grammar, you must think like a German."- Professor Judith Keyler-Mayer
I am not impressed. How is a student supposed to know how a German thinks?

[patchbunny]

I don't remember any particular teacher telling me that, maybe because I rarely asked them difficult questions, but I use it all the time.

I do remember a teacher telling us about how in his early days he got a question he didn't know the answer to and took a chance.

Student: "So we can live with only one kidney, and without a gall bladder, but can you live without a spleen?"

Teacher (not wanting to appear ignorant): "No, the spleen is essential."

Student: "They took mine out last year, I seem to be surviving fine."

Teacher: Yes, but in 60 years, watch out!

[C_Felix]

"Write this down! This is why we invented writing, b/c we can't remember everything!"

[Mark6]

"Write this down! This is why we invented writing, b/c we can't remember everything!"
Smart alec answer: "No, that's why we invented tape recorders!"

[uruk]

From my 8th grade english teacher: "Train your mind to become a B***S*** detector."

I say that to my students today.

[C_Felix]

smart alec answer: "no, that's why we invented tape recorders!"

go see the principal!

[GrandMasterFox]

This was posted at Tzitut at one point (before it disappeared), it was a site dedicated let people post stuff that went on classrooms.

Email sent to a mailing list for infi 1 course:


Dear students, I don't mind you talking and consulting each other when dealing with assignments for the course.

However, if you're just going to copy each other and not bother making an effort please just send me an email stating:

"I have no intrest in math what so ever and I have no idea why I bother wasting time and money on this class so I don't really feel like doing the work."

I will believe you and give you and give you full credit."

[Spindrift]

College math professor: "If you don't know the answer please don't write more than half a page."

High school English teacher (paraphrasing): "When choosing a topic for a paper, write down the first 10 topics that come to mind based on the assigment. Then choose a topic not on that list. The teacher grading the paper will have seen those those top ten hundreds if not thousands of time. If you pick a less common or better yet unique (but appropriate) topic, the teacher is more likely to give a better grade because they will find it refreshing and maybe they will even learn something."

[LibraryLady]

College math professor: "If you don't know the answer please don't write more than half a page."

High school English teacher (paraphrasing): "When choosing a topic for a paper, write down the first 10 topics that come to mind based on the assigment. Then choose a topic not on that list. The teacher grading the paper will have seen those those top ten hundreds if not thousands of time. If you pick a less common or better yet unique (but appropriate) topic, the teacher is more likely to give a better grade because they will find it refreshing and maybe they will even learn something."

I say this to students who need help with their topics all the time!

[quixotecoyote]

I am not impressed. How is a student supposed to know how a German thinks?

Hogan's Heroes reruns?

This was posted at Tzitut at one point (before it disappeared), it was a site dedicated let people post stuff that went on classrooms.

Email sent to a mailing list for infi 1 course:


Dear students, I don't mind you talking and consulting each other when dealing with assignments for the course.

However, if you're just going to copy each other and not bother making an effort please just send me an email stating:

"I have no intrest in math what so ever and I have no idea why I bother wasting time and money on this class so I don't really feel like doing the work."

I will believe you and give you and give you full credit."

I wonder if "My degree program requires this course despite it being outside my area of study and my lack of interest, so I don't really feel like doing the work." would work.

[Hindmost]

19340

:)

[Dimitri]

While a teacher must remain objective I couldn't help but give a 2 thumbs up to my teacher who gave biology.

It went more or less along these lines:
"I'm know going to start with the next chapter of this Biology course, evolution and genetics. Those who have a problem with this course by their religion or philosophy are free to leave the class room. But I suspect no one will since you are all University students and have a pair of good working brains to have made it up here".

Needles to say he got a standing ovation from the class.

[quixotecoyote]

While a teacher must remain objective I couldn't help but give a 2 thumbs up to my teacher who gave biology.

It went more or less along these lines:
"I'm know going to start with the next chapter of this Biology course, evolution and genetics. Those who have a problem with this course by their religion or philosophy are free to leave the class room. But I suspect no one will since you are all University students and have a pair of good working brains to have made it up here".

Needles to say he got a standing ovation from the class.


I've taught at the undergraduate level for a bit, and am now disappointed in the quality of my students. Not a one of them had more than half of a pair of brains.

[ingoa]

While a teacher must remain objective I couldn't help but give a 2 thumbs up to my teacher who gave biology.

It went more or less along these lines:
"I'm know going to start with the next chapter of this Biology course, evolution and genetics. Those who have a problem with this course by their religion or philosophy are free to leave the class room. But I suspect no one will since you are all University students and have a pair of good working brains to have made it up here".

Needles to say he got a standing ovation from the class.

This happened in Belgium? I am depressed. In Germany this would never have happened. No biology prof would consider to mention religion or philosophy in that context. (At least no Prof I ever met.) :eek:

[Dimitri]

This happened in Belgium? I am depressed. In Germany this would never have happened. No biology prof would consider to mention religion or philosophy in that context. (At least no Prof I ever met.) :eek:
He had problems with religious people during his career, I think the reason why he told so was for being fed up with highly ignorant and arrogant behaviour some religionists dared to show during his lessons. We were in a pretty small class and the general atmosphere was quite formal, he knew most of the pupils. I suspect he wouldn't say such things if we were with some more students and the chances of super-religious students being quite high.

But then again, he never quite shunned away to mess a bit with our minds either (in an educative way that is). Still think he is one of the most interesting minds I have ever encountered.

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

Loose paraphrase:

"A terrible thing has happened, a tragic thing has happened, but now it's time to move on and continue life. There's no sense in dwelling on it any more."

My 8th grade Spanish teacher (Ms. Velazquez? Was that her name?) when the class first met after the attacks of 9/11.

She said it matter of factly and succinctly and went right to the lesson.

She was a wise woman.

[ShadowSot]

Woof, only the stupid things really stand out because I've had some really good teachers over the years.

With my most effective teachers, I can't think of a particular thing they said, but how they said it or went about their lessons.

I hold a social studies teacher that had served in nearly every war since Korea.
My science teacher at the time, had served with him. Both were great guys and actively inspired me and other students towards science.

I remember my CCD teacher was the one who got me interested in Egyptology he gave me first book on Ancient Egypt.
He was one of the people who taught me patience, tolerance, and understanding when I was a kid.
Though it took me a while to get around to it. ^^;

One thing I do remember was my High School Biology teacher stating something along the lines of Dimitri's teacher.
"Now, as this is a Catholic School I am required by my Boss to tell you that, when it comes to biology and Science, God did it.
Now, having said that, I shall now spend the rest of this term teaching the other side of the controversy."

[Weak Kitten]

"If being a dog groomer is what you really love and want to do with the rest of your life then go find out what you need to do to become the best dog groomer you can be. As long as you love what you are doing then you will be successful in life." -Frank Thomas, History Teacher

[EeneyMinnieMoe]

One thing I do remember was my High School Biology teacher stating something along the lines of Dimitri's teacher.
"Now, as this is a Catholic School I am required by my Boss to tell you that, when it comes to biology and Science, God did it.
Now, having said that, I shall now spend the rest of this term teaching the other side of the controversy."

Really? A Roman Catholic school teacher behaved like that? :confused: Really? That irreverent? Was he also an atheist?

I can imagine a Catholic school teacher saying something like "I am a Catholic and a science teacher. As a science teacher, I will teach evolution. I believe in it. It is science. As a Catholic, however, I consider the initial creation of the world and everything in it to be the work of God and evolution to be the process that God set into motion."

That's been the attitude of pretty much every Catholic who nevertheless believes in evolution that I've come across. Every Christian, really. Or even every theist.

My high school biology teacher was a pretty devout Christian (she was raised in a Roman Catholic Italian-American family but her husband was a minister and missionary and she accompanied him on his trips so I deduce that she converted to Protestantism) and she had no problem with teaching science. None. Not that I can remember.

She didn't even bring up the controversy when she taught evolution. Not that I can remember, anyway. And if she had brought up creationism, it would have been to strongly argue against it.

She brought up her husband's ministry and her religion in class quite a bit- she talked about it a lot- but she never expressed any conflict between her religion and biology.

The one thing about religion and science that I do remember her saying is that she loved biology and loved studying how intricate and complex it was because it moved her closer to understanding God and appreciating God's amazing creations. She said that she felt very close to God when she learned about the workings of the natural world.

She was also a total liberal. She had been to Cuba on a volunteer mission with her husband and offended a few people in biology class by telling us how great the communist government in Cuba was.

Lovely lady.

ETA: That reminds me. She was once teaching about the respiratory system and the subject of asthma came up.

A girl in class raised her hand and asked "I have a friend who has asthma and she smokes. It doesn't affect her. She just takes her asthma medication- and she smokes. How is that possible? Why doesn't smoking trigger an attack?"

The teacher was a bit confused. She asked the girl what exactly her question was. The girl repeated "Why is it that she smokes but it doesn't affect her asthma?"

The teacher bluntly said "If you have asthma and you smoke, you are an idiot".

Laughter from the class.

The teacher said "No, I'm serious. If you have asthma and you smoke, you are an idiot. That's just asking for it. She's just lucky nothing has happened to her yet."

Add that to the list of smart things teachers have said.

[Astreja]

Best advice I ever got in school came from my Grade 11 English teacher:

"When you get to the end of the story, stop!"

The context: I had written a short story, but dragged it out for a few completely unnecessary paragraphs past a really good climax. Taking his advice to heart definitely strengthened my writing.

[LibraryLady]

Best advice I ever got in school came from my Grade 11 English teacher:

"When you get to the end of the story, stop!"

The context: I had written a short story, but dragged it out for a few completely unnecessary paragraphs past a really good climax. Taking his advice to heart definitely strengthened my writing.

My father used to say that every artist needs someone standing behind him with a hammer. :D

[Safe-Keeper]

Loose paraphrase:

"A terrible thing has happened, a tragic thing has happened, but now it's time to move on and continue life. There's no sense in dwelling on it any more."

My 8th grade Spanish teacher (Ms. Velazquez? Was that her name?) when the class first met after the attacks of 9/11.

She said it matter of factly and succinctly and went right to the lesson.

She was a wise woman.Well... everyone react to these things differently, and it's often perceived as very insensitive when you tell people to move on. People get on with their lives when they're ready, not when others tell them they are ready. I know what the teacher meant, but the way she said it here sounded insensitive to me.

[TubbaBlubba]

"Well, that depends on the amount of yanks per infant."

My math/physics teacher when someone discussed the average weight of people on Earth.

[ShadowSot]

Really? A Roman Catholic school teacher behaved like that? Really? That irreverent? Was he also an atheist?


Dunno, never asked. Possibly.

My girlfriend told me an assignment she was given by her teacher.
Her teacher stated that she was tired of having to quote from the book or repeat hersell each year, and as they should be able to think for themselves, she wanted them to pick their own reports.

The students have to provide a topic, and provide reasons they support and oppose the topic, and why. Much better than just the rinse wash and repeat stuff I got before I graduated.